On today’s “I Did It” episode, Tiffani Peterson shares what can happen when you start to ask yourself better questions. We also talk about knowing the difference between a belief and a fact, and how doing the mental work prepares you for challenges that might come along the way. If you’ve always chased after confidence thinking it’ll come after you do X, Y, and Z, you’ll find a lot of value in today’s episode. So let’s jump into the interview with Tiffani Peterson!
Find show notes at bicepsafterbabies.com/198
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- Change of mindset (7:24, 21:17)
- You’ve got to believe you can do first (9:36, 10:13)
- Recognizing belief versus facts (11:19, 13:07)
- It’s just a body: your interpretation of that doesn’t mean anything (15:05, 16:02)
- Become that version of yourself now and be confident (21:17)
- Small changes, one at a time equals big changes so work on being a little better everyday (25:51)
You're listening to Biceps After Babies Radio episode number 198.
Hello and welcome to Biceps After Babies Radio. A podcast for ladies who know that fitness is about so much more than pounds lost or PRs. It's about feeling confident in your skin and empowered in your life. I'm your host, Amber Brueseke, a registered nurse, personal trainer, wife, and mom of four. Each week, my guests and I will excite and motivate you to take action in your own personal fitness as we talk about nutrition, exercise mindset, personal development, and executing life with conscious intention. If your goal is to look, feel, and be strong and experience transformation from the inside out, you, my friend are in the right place. Thank you for tuning in, now let’s jump into today’s episode.
Amber B 0:48
Hey, hey, hey, welcome back to another Friday episode of the “I Did It” Series on Biceps After Babies Radio. And today we have another amazing story to talk to you about. And this is one, when you hear Tiffani's story, there are going to be many of you who really really resonate with where Tiffani started. She'll share her experience and her story but if you are somebody who feels like you are continually battling your body, if you feel like you're someone who in the past or currently feels scared of food, who has put restrictions on food, not because you don't want it but because you feel like you can't have it, if you are someone who feels like you'll always be happy when or you'll be confident when all your reach the finish line and you have like this finish line that you feel like you've never ever reached, and maybe it will never reach, then this episode is for you. With Tiffani, we dive into her experience of learning that a lot of the weight that she needed to lose was actually between your ears. And that that mental work was what was going to prep her and prime her and help her to be successful with the physical work that she wanted to do. So I'm so excited for you to listen to this episode. So without further ado, let's jump into the interview with Tiffani Peterson.
Amber B 2:11
All right, I am so excited to welcome Tiffani to the podcast. Tiffani, how are you doing?
Doing good today. Thank you, how are you?
Amber B 2:17
I am really excited. I'm very good. I am excited to have this conversation that we're going to have. I'm excited for the things that you're going to share. I always feel like we start out these episodes and I think I have an idea where they're gonna go. And we talk a little bit about where we want them to go. But I always love what just gets created in the moment as you are sharing from your heart. So that's really what the goal is today is just to kind of hear your story and share the lessons that you've learned. So that maybe other people listening to this can learn those lessons ahead of time a little bit faster.
All right, yeah, that'd be good.
Amber B 2:47
Okay, awesome. So tell us just a little bit about yourself. And specifically, maybe what you were struggling with before you came into MACROS 101.
Okay. So before MACROS 101, I felt like I was constantly battling with my body. I've always felt like my body was broken. So I started trying to lose weight between 5th and 6th grade. My mom had done Weight Watchers a long time before that. She taught me about the point system. So me, I took that as an overachiever, I took that to the extreme, and I never actually ate my allotted points.
Amber B 3:25
And it's always better if you don't eat as much, right? Like you're gonna eat less.
Exactly, yes. So I was like, super proud of myself, like, I can do this. You know, and that's as an 11 year old. But that kind of started it. And it's just been cycles of that in different ways, you know, counting calories. My mom and I did like more of the block dieting, you know, so whatever percentage of carbs, fat and protein, but it was just formed from under eating, and too much exercise ever since. So my weight has just gone up and down, up and down. And I, every time it was down, I felt miserable, though, because I was so restrictive. I told people I was allergic to sugar. Because it made me puffy. And then my mother in law, she thought for years that I hated cheese, but I love cheese. But she
Amber B 4:26
You just told her that you don't eat it but you never have it. Yeah, cuz it's fat.
Yeah. Right. So that's kind of where I was. And then that was just my whole life. So then I had my first baby when I was 25. And since then, the only times I've been able to lose weight are extreme morning sickness, which I don't recommend. And then, about six years ago, I paid for meal plans. And I couldn't stick to it because it ended up being too low in calories. And I was so sick of having chicken and rice. That's all I ate. It just gets old every day.
Amber B 5:05
Totally. Talk to me a little bit more. I think this is so interesting that you said that your goal was always to lose weight. But then when you lost the weight, you were miserable. So definitely a little bit more about that cycle. And like any, I guess what I'm just curious about is, if you have that experience, I feel like in some part of your brain, it would be like, it would be fighting you of, oh, I want to lose weight. But like, the last time I was there, I was miserable. So it's almost like, yeah, I want to say I want to lose it. But in the back of my mind, I don't. I don't really want to because I hated last time.
Yeah. Oh, totally. And I think that's kind of where I get to at this point. It's like, okay, you know, I'm going to be good. And, you know, I labeled myself as good or bad, food is good or bad. And I want to get there but then it's that in the back of my mind, like, oh, my gosh, that I can never enjoy a treat with my family. Or I can never put cheese on it. Or, you know, anything like that. And I have never gotten where I wanted to be. So I think there was always that, well another five pounds, another 10 pounds, and I'll finally be happy. But I never hit my goal weight, because my goal always changed.
Amber B 5:42
Yeah, in the movie Finish Line, the finish lines are always moving. Because if you get to the finish line, and you don't feel the way that you expected to feel, then you just push the finish line out. Well, it must be because I'm actually at the finish line. And if I just push it out a little bit for and then you get there and then you're like, but I don't feel the way I want to feel. So I'm gonna push it out a little bit more. And it's like, you'd never get there. It's like that finish line. Always keeps going.
Exactly. Yeah. So I've never hit my goal weight. Even though I should have been happy where I was at. I never hit the goal weight. Sure.
Amber B 6:53
Yeah. So good.
Kinda what happens.
Amber B 6:56
Yeah. Okay, cool. So then you had told me that before investing in MACROS 101, Like you heard about it a couple times? You went through a couple of cycles of like hearing about it and not pulling the trigger. So what was going through your mind at that point? And then what made you ultimately finally decide to come and join?
Okay, so I would identify as a DIY-er.
Amber B 7:20
Okay. Same here. I like I'm with you, girl.
I'm gonna build my table. I'm gonna, ya know, do all things. All of my decorations homemade. Like, Oh, baby food, like, yes, recycle. Yes, we are there. So, you know, I just thought, Oh, if I listened to enough of Amber's podcasts and Key Nutrition. So that's how I found you was when you were on Brad. Yeah, Key Nutrition. So when I got meal plans, like six years ago, I went to who Brad worked for. So it's not how Brad coaches now sure. But he was in the office. And then anyway, he left and so and then I moved away from Utah, but I kept listening to his podcasts. And then I heard you, and then I started listening to your podcasts. And I thought between the two of them, I can figure this out, I don't need to pay for it. Like I can do this. But then, so February 2021, I was like, Okay, I'm going to join, I'm going to join because I heard everybody talking about how they changed their mindset with your program. And I was going to do it. And then I just like chickened out spending the money on myself didn't do. So then I told my husband like, Oh, we're just talking about it, and about, you know, weight loss and stuff. He's a medical provider. So sometimes they'll come home, and I think he's more sympathetic to patients because of me. And he's like, oh, I'll have I had the, you know, lady come in, who's doing all the things like you and she just can't figure it out either. You know, it's not going anywhere. So he's frustrated. So you know, just talking things like that. And I told him that I had almost joined, but I didn't want to spend the money on myself. And he just said, Why? Do it. So I'm like, Okay, well, it doesn't open again till September. So I'll join then and then I got pregnant. So September came, and I was in my third trimester of my pregnancy. So I had slight reservations. But I knew I needed to get my head in the right place first, even before any weight would come off. And so I was like, okay, you know what, just take those lap times and get your head in the right place. So I joined and I'm very glad I did.
Amber B 9:36
And I'm so glad that you said that because there's a lot of people who for whatever it's like their life circumstances, it doesn't quite line up with where exactly they want to be when the doors to MACROS 101 open. And I think it's so smart that you recognize that a lot of the work that you needed to do was between your ears. And that work can happen regardless of if you're pregnant or If you're in a different circumstance like that work can happen right now. And so I'm proud of you for you in that realization that you shouldn't just it would have been easy to put it off again. It would have been easy. Oh, I'll do that the next time she opens.
Well, I always hear you say, you know that you've got to believe you can do it first. And so I didn't. And you know what I mean? Because there's, well, you've done it and or the macros haven't worked for you before. Because I've often been trying to count macros for four years, and my weight has gone up and up and up. And my clothes size has gone up and up and up. So it just wasn't what I thought it would be. So I'm like, something's wrong. And so I'm like, well, she says on a podcast, you got to get your head in the right place. So I just thought, well, that's the next place.
Amber B 10:48
Yeah. And was it right, was that though? Yeah, the thing that was missing for you. Yeah. So talk to us a little bit more about that. And what kind of transformation? What are some of the biggest shifts that you saw as you went through the programming and started as soon as?
I've learned to ask myself better questions. I know that you always talk about that. And so-
Amber B 11:09
Can you give an example of that? I would love it if you have an example of maybe a question that you used to ask yourself, and maybe a better question that you've learned how to put change to?
Yeah. So okay, example. Beliefs versus facts in my life. So I've learned to ask myself now, is that a belief or is that a fact. So one example is, I wanted to tuck my shirt in, like, this is so silly, but like other plus sized mamas out there, like me will understand that. Like, you have that little belly from four C sections, that does not want to go away. And so I was like, I can't tuck my shirt in, because I have a mommy belly and I'm chubby so it's just not going to work. And then I have always thought that and I thought, No, do you see other moms with bodies similar to you that tuck in their shirts, and it looks adorable on them? And I'm like, yeah, so it's not a fact. It's a belief. So why do you believe that? And anyway, I came to the point that I realized I could find a way to tuck it in and feel confident. And I just felt empowered because of that.
Another one is, every one I've nursed, I haven't lost weight. By the time my baby's probably a few months old, I gained everything back. And so I coached myself out of thinking that that was not a fact but a belief. That I could do it. And why do I think that? And so I just started asking myself new questions. Where's that coming from? And that's closer to why I thought that.
Amber B 13:07
Yeah. And something that I want to highlight is that, you know, Tiffani, that you're doing, and you're explaining, is really the concept of like, don't believe everything you think. Right, just because you think it doesn't make it actually true and starting to even just question the thoughts that you have of is that actually true or is that just something I've been telling myself for a really long time, and it feels true on some level, but it isn't actually true. And, you know, going back to the, I can't tuck my shirt in. You know, a great question there and you kind of like, even went to the solution of, oh, can I see other people who are doing it and maybe that's possible for me as well. But another good question that you can ask is like, I can't take my shirt in, according to who? Like who told me that?
Yes, yes. I thought that I like I just have this random belief that yeah, it's gonna look that
Amber B 13:58
Right. And like, maybe someone told you that maybe you saw it on somebody, maybe like nobody ever told you that you just decided that one day that it just wouldn't look good on you and you can't do it. But even just starting to question that I'm like, I can't take my shirt, who said that? Who was telling me that I can't tuck in my shirt? And oftentimes it is ourselves. And so can you give yourself permission to do something different? Like, you don't have to obey that rule. It's just a belief. So good. Those are awesome examples. I love giving tangible takeaways, because I do it, I talk about hey, let's change your beliefs, let's ask better questions. And sometimes people are like, Yeah, but what does that look like? How do I do that? How do I start implementing that? So thank you for sharing those specific examples. One of the things you told me recently is that you finally only recently have looked into the mirror and really felt proud of yourself. Even though you aren't at your goal, like even though you aren't at that finish line. So for people who are listening who maybe haven't gotten to that place yet? How did you get there?
So, it comes back to separating, you know, beliefs from facts. It's a fact that I weigh. It's a fact what my measurements are. But like you've talked about, what's my interpretation of that doesn't mean anything. So I've tried to be a little more, you know, the hashtag you've used, it's just a body. You know, it's just a body. It is what it is. But do I think that other people with bodies similar to mine are so awful? Like, I think, no, I don't. But I've never liked anything about myself. You know, I look in the mirror, and I've just always or pictures and always picked apart everything, except for maybe my eye color. I've picked apart everything in my life. Because I've always believed I'm not good enough, because I'm not where I want to be yet. I'm not there yet.
And I've just come to this realization that I've just wasted so much time in my life, hating myself. Like I realized, I, you know, I always think, Oh, I'll be happy with 10 more pounds. But I'm nut there, so I'm not happy. And my husband has pointed this out so many times over the last 14 years that you're never happy. You know, I blow him off. Am so sorry, Aaron, when you're listening to this later for blowing you off. And I just realized that I don't see myself how others see me. And I've never seen the progress before. But I look back at the pictures. And I think, wow, why wasn't I happy then? And so why can't I just be happy now, in the moment? And you know, maybe in a year, I'll look back at those pictures and go, “Yeah, I'm glad I chose to be happy then because I looked better than I thought I did.” So I'm just trying to accept myself now. And I feel like one way I've gotten to that point is I'm taking the before the progress pictures. And I hide them on my phone but I look at them. And I don't just, I'm trying to look at them and not pick myself apart. I'm trying to look at them and compare and be like, “Wow, Tiffani, you know what, like, your back is looking smaller, good job, like you're doing it.” Because I don't see the progress in myself. I'm down 30 pounds from the day I had my baby about two and a half months ago. But I don't see that difference. So looking at those helps me kind of accept my body for what it is. And I don't want my girls to pick themselves apart later, someday, I had two little girls. And so I have to honestly be happy with myself now. And so I'm working on it. And it's gotten so much better. So I'm grateful for that.
Amber B 18:12
Yeah. So coming from the experience that you had with, you know, your mom doing Weight Watchers and that shaping and influencing your thoughts about your body and what was, you know, how you need to eat and all those things, how has that experience, you know, plus the experiences you've had now with a shift in your mindset, change the way that you are parenting your children and the example that you're showing your children so that they have a different experience than maybe you had growing up?
Yeah, yeah. So my mom, she's awesome. Like she's actually a certified personal trainer. And so she took me to the gym in high school, and taught me how to exercise and helped me, you know, learn how to lift weights and things like that. And taught me how to count calories. But I can't say never, because you say never and then you put your foot in your mouth. I hope I never have to teach my daughters to count calories. I hope that they can just learn to eat healthy and accept themselves how they are. So I'm hoping to model good behavior so it can just become natural for them. And not okay, you need to eat 1100 to 1200 calories. And my girls have two completely different bodies. My younger one has more of my body and my older one has more of my husband's side. So one is thinner than the other but they're both beautiful, but I don't want them to ever. I mean, I know they'll compare themselves to each other someday, that's just girls. But I just hope I can model natural positive behaviors and how to be healthy.
Amber B 20:14
Yeah, yes. And as that becomes more of a natural habit for you, those are things that you don't necessarily have to teach outright, because it's something that they see in you. And it's why, you know, for the moms, I oftentimes moms will say, they're doing it for their children that it feels motivating to them. And I think that's awesome and amazing. And I love this idea of breaking the family tree, changing the family tree, changing what you're passing down. And as that just becomes natural and habit for you the way that you show up in the way that you talk about your body that naturally gets passed on to your daughters and your sons and and you know, the other people have influence over. And it does, it just becomes something that's a natural byproduct. So that's awesome. Okay, so good. Is there anything else that you're wanting to make sure to share with somebody? Maybe if you were listening to this episode, a year ago, what would you have needed to hear?
So I have always been scared of food. And it's just, I have always been scared of what I eat, what is going to do to me, and I told my husband recently that I'm not scared of food anymore. I'm eating so much more than I ever thought I could eat, and not gaining anything. And I've also come to the point that I've realized why I'm doing this. You know, I want to be a better wife, I want to be a better mom. I want to be able to participate in activities with my family. And I do, but I want to enjoy them, you know, when we go hiking or things like that. I want to be able to, you know, be confident that I can always find clothes that I feel good in and that fit well. But I couldn't figure out why I felt that way. And I felt like there was something more to it. And it just didn't feel deep enough. And one day, I was really listening to Melissa Porter's podcast, and it was just like a light bulb moment. And I realized that I want to be confident and that's what I want. And so I'm like, how do I become confident when I'm not where I want to be right now. And it's going to be a long journey, because I'd still like to lose another 30 pounds, that would be great. And I realized I have to be confident now. And I have to become like you teach us to become that version of myself now. And so to become that version of myself, I have to have integrity with myself, I have to exercise if I'm saying I'm going to. I have to enjoy this plan as it's going and so I have to become that scientist to adjust it so that I can become happy. And you know, a year ago, I was so frustrated that I was counting all the calories and all the carbs and all you know everything and it wasn't going anywhere. And I've just realized that it comes down to what's inside. And I need to change my mind so that I'm happy and excited. And then I can manifest that. And then that's when things really change.
Amber B 23:48
So good. So good, Tiffani. Thank you so much. Thanks for sharing your story. Thanks for sharing your aha and your takeaways and your lessons that you learned along the way. And to speak to you know, that woman who used to be you who feels like she's battling her body who feels like she's scared of food and feels like she's never, never going to get they're never going to be happy, it's never going to work. I think that the things that you've shared are so important. And they feel sometimes frou frou and they feel like well that like it's not really the thing that's gonna make the difference. But I love what you shared like those are the things that's the work. Those are the things that are making the difference.
I never thought that the brain part of it actually had anything to do with it.
Amber B 24:30
Right. Yeah, it's like-
I could hate myself for becoming smart. Right, you know, and becoming but yeah, it doesn't work, it doesn't work.
Amber B 24:39
Yeah, try something. You know, a lot of people have tried that for a really long time. And so if it worked, if it would have worked, it would have worked by now. So when it would have stayed off a long time it would have stayed off, so why not try something different.
Amber B 24:53
Awesome. Thank you so much, Tiffani, for coming on the podcast.
Thank you. Bye.
Amber B 24:57
I hope that you really enjoyed that episode. I love the way that Tiffany was able to flesh out some of the things that I teach. And sometimes it's like I teach these things, but I think it sometimes resonates better or maybe people just say it in a different way when it comes from somebody else's mouth. And so my hope is, is that, as you were listening to Tiffani talk that maybe it hit differently for you that maybe you heard a topic or an idea or a concept in a little bit different way that can help you to start to believe that, you know, life doesn't have to be about under eating, it doesn't have to be about being scared of food, it doesn't have to be about always chasing confidence, thinking it somewhere else. And what can happen when you start to ask yourself better questions, you start to know the difference between what is actually true, and what you just are telling yourself is true. That concept of not believing everything that you think is so so valuable and so, so important.
Amber B 25:51
Okay, after Tiffani got off the interview with me, she sent me a message, she said, I forgot to say some of the things that I really wanted to make sure got into the episode. But so I promised her that I would read it here so that we can add those lessons in. She said, so as soon as I hung up, I realized something I really wanted to share and had on my notes. I'm just working on being a little better every day. It's just 1% of the time, small changes, one at a time equals big changes. And this has gotten me to 30 pounds of weight loss and to a number I haven't seen in several years on the scale. She told me that this concept of like 1% improvement of just taking like the little step, those baby steps and how they add up over time was something that she'd heard in church talks, she'd heard me talk about it, and she'd heard it like in different contexts, and that it was really something that she needed to learn. And that was the secret for her to be able to get to 30 pounds of weight loss. It is not focusing on the 30 pounds of weight loss. But focusing on that 1% improvement day over day over day.
Amber B 26:51
As you listen to Tiffani's lessons and her aha moments and the things that she has learned, my hope for you is that you are able to take those lessons and start applying them to your journey. There's value in going through these lessons ourselves and there's also value in learning the lessons through other people's experiences. And that's one of the reasons we have the “I Did It” Series is I want you to learn lessons from other people's experience because they're going to be lessons you need to just go through like all of us have lessons that we need to go through. But there are some lessons that we can learn by just listening to somebody else's story. And that's really the goal with this entire series. So, so grateful for Tiffani for coming on and sharing her story. That wraps up this episode of Biceps After Babies Radio. I'm Amber, now go out and be strong because remember my friend, you can do anything.
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