Today on the podcast I have Jody Moore, Master Certified Life Coach, where we chat about her relationship with the scale, food, and her body. She explains how her fitness journey provides an opportunity for her to take the coaching she does with her clients (mental and emotional), and apply similar coaching to herself with fitness. I’m excited for you to join us as we answer the question, “Is it ok to have a goal to change your body?” So let’s get into it!
Find show notes at bicepsafterbabies.com/144
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- Benefits from coaching (6:35, 40:52, 41:35)
- How goals we set bring up the opportunity to strengthen ourselves mentally & emotionally (8:31)
- The power of our thoughts (10:35)
- Difference between needing to change and wanting to change one’s body (11:34, 13:10)
- Dealing with the scale (17:57, 20:56, 27:28)
- There are many goals you can set around nutrition (24:36)
- Moderators vs. abstainers (29:36, 30:39, 31:12 )
- Adding things in rather than subtracting things (37:36)
- Consistency (38:58)
- Confidence In Your Numbers (45:06, 46:50, 48:27)
You're listening to Biceps after Babies radio episode number 144
Hello and welcome to Biceps after Babies radio. A podcast for ladies who know that fitness is about so much more than pounds lost or PRs. It's about feeling confident in your skin and empowered in your life. I'm your host, Amber Brueseke, a registered nurse, personal trainer, wife, and mom of four. Each week, my guests and I will excite and motivate you to take action in your own personal fitness as we talk about nutrition, exercise mindset, personal development, and executing life with conscious intention. If your goal is to look, feel, and be strong and experience transformation from the inside out, you, my friend are in the right place. Thank you for tuning in, now let’s jump into today’s episode.
Amber B 0:48
Hey, hey, hey, welcome back to another episode of biceps after babies radio. I'm your host Amber Brueseke. And I am just thrilled to be able to have Jody Moore on the podcast today. So Jody was probably one of the first podcasts that I listened to when I started listening to podcasts. I listened to Serial first, if you haven't listened to Serial, you should definitely go listen to season one of Serial. I'm not like the cereal you eat but s-e-r-i-a-l. That was like literally the first podcast that I listened to. And then after that was probably Jody's podcast, back when it was a totally different name. So we share the podcast, it's now called Better Than Happy. But I remember this is how much we loved the podcast. We actually had like a book club, where we would listen to an episode of our podcast and then we would get together with my friends and discuss it. So anyway, to say that I have been a Jody Moore fan for years and years is quite an understatement. So it was such an honor to be able to have her on the podcast today and to be able to chat with her about something that's really important and really valuable. And that is your relationship, your relationship with the scale, your relationship with food, your relationship with your body. And in this episode, we talk a little bit about Jody's personal fitness journey that she's been on for the last little while, and things that have come up for her in terms of getting on the scale and the emotions that come with that. She talks about her relationship with Diet Coke and working through that. And I'm really excited because, you know, Jody is such a high achiever in many areas of her life. And, you know, she shared that in the realm of fitness has been somewhere that she struggled more. And it's been an opportunity for her to take the type of coaching, the mental and emotional coaching, that she does in her business and be able to apply that to herself as she's gone through her finished journey.
Amber B 2:45
And one of the things that we work on a lot inside of Macros 101 is a lot of the mental work that Jody kind of refers to that mental work of how do you speak to yourself? How do you get to this place of dropping emotion from your experience of getting on the scale? How do we get to that place of really being the scientist in our journey, and making data driven decisions rather than emotional decisions. That's where most women live, for most of their life is making their decisions about their body or about their fitness or about their food based on emotion, and what starts to happen when we move from those emotional decisions to data driven decisions, and making those decisions like a scientist would make. And so I'm so excited for this episode. I'm excited for you to listen, as Jody shares her insights into Is it okay to have a goal to change your body? I loved her answer to that question about these different relationships that we have with ourselves, and some really, really great stuff that she talks about and shares on those topics in this episode. So without further ado, let's dive into the episode with Jody Moore.
Amber B 3:59
I am so thrilled to welcome to the podcast. Jody Moore. How are you doing Jody?
I'm doing so good. Thanks for having me.
Amber B 4:07
I'm really excited about this conversation. I'm really excited to introduce you to my audience. I think a lot of them probably will know you, but some of them won't. So for anybody who is just for the first time hearing the name of Jody Moore, can you just tell us a little bit about you, about your podcast, about what you do and how you help women?
Sure, um, I'm a master certified life coach, who knows what that means?
Amber B 4:29
What does that even mean? Tell us what that means.
To me, it means I work with people on their mental and emotional health. And so just like we understand this, the importance of working on our physical health and either that we can maintain and strengthen ourselves physically, we don't just have to wait till we're sick and need to go to the doctor to think about our physical health. I believe the same is true with our mental and emotional health and that having a regular practice of strengthening and maintaining ourselves mentally and emotionally is important. So I do that through, like you said, my podcast Better than Happy. I have a coaching program where I coach people, and we take it all, you know, next level with the application. And I've been doing this for about seven years, and I just love it so much.
Amber B 5:19
It's awesome. Yeah. And I was telling Jody, before we hit record that I've been a long time podcast listener, like even before it was called Better than Happy. I don't remember what the podcast was, what it used to be called?
Yeah. Oh, it's been through several iterations. It was a Bold New Mom for a while…
Amber B 5:34
Bold New Mom, that's what I was thinking of.
Yeah, people thought it was for like new moms that have new babies. Oh, it was about parenting. And you can see why they think that’s why we changed the name.
Amber B 5:44
I get that a lot of times where people are like, Can I buy your programs if I haven't had a baby? And I'm like, Yeah. Do you have biceps? Do you have a body? Then we're good. Yeah, so I totally get that. But yeah, I've been a long, long time podcast listener. And you know, since whoever you're listening to right now you listen to podcasts, obviously, I really recommend going and checking out Jody's podcast, Better than Happy as her podcast. It's fabulous. But I'm curious, do you? I feel like I'm kind of you kind of made that distinction of you know, I help people with their physical health and you help people more with like their mental and emotional health, do you find that that is a harder sell to convince people that their mental and emotional health is important? Or do you find that like society is kind of going that way, where we have started to understand how important and vital our emotional and mental health is?
I think we've come a long way, I think there's a lot more people who are a lot more open to the idea that you know, that there's been a stigma in the past around therapy and things like that, for example. And I think we've made a lot of progress. We still have work to do, of course, I think what's the hardest thing for me to be able to describe and for people to understand is that I'm a huge fan of therapy, too, by the way. And what I do as a coach is there's overlap, of course, but it's different in that I'm working with a highly functioning person. So I do see people a lot of times be like, Well, I think what you do is awesome. Why would people need a coach, though, like who would need a coach? And just like you say, Well, do you have a body? Do you have muscles that you think about? Do you have biceps? Okay. That's how I feel about coaching. It's like, do you have a brain, if you have a human brain, you could benefit from coaching. And so it's a little bit hard to articulate that because I don't mean to imply that I'm the right coach for everyone. And I'm not just trying to sell everyone on coming in hiring me. But I do think that if you have a human brain, then the analogy I always use is just like the dentist, right? If you have teeth, you could probably benefit from going to the dentist. If you don't go It's okay, you're probably not going to die. But you should probably go to the dentists. I mean, if you can, if you can afford it, go to the dentist. And that's how I feel about coaching. And so yeah, that's sometimes hard to articulate.
Amber B 8:09
That's awesome. One of the things that I've been kind of watching from the sidelines, and I know we have a mutual friend, Brad, who you've been working with, on your own fitness journey, so we're going to talk a little bit about some of the mental stuff and get into some of your wheelhouse. But I'm curious first to kind of have you share a little bit about your fitness journey that you've been on? What prompted that and what has that been like for you?
Hmm, gosh, it's been a roller coaster. Like probably for most people. So that's what I love about all these other things, whether it be a fitness journey, or or making more money, building a business, whatever these goals that we set, bring up the opportunity to strengthen ourselves mentally and emotionally. Which I love doing. I mean, it's painful. Sometimes I don't love it, but I love the idea of doing it right. And it's interesting because in business building, I end up, you know, just interacting with a lot of other entrepreneurs as one myself. A lot of people struggle with the challenge of building a business. For me, I've been like, what, what's the big deal? Just do it. Just post to Instagram every day, just do a podcast every week. Like, it hasn't been that challenging for me. The health stuff, the fitness stuff, is where it brings up all of my drama. And so I in all honesty, I wish I could say that's why I do it because I want to grow. But, you know, in the beginning, especially and even now, it's not always coming from those pure intentions. It's coming from vanity and the socialization that I received as a woman, that my body should look a certain way, I'd be lying. If I said, No, I just want to grow.
Amber B 9:53
That's the only reason I'm doing it.
Right? Like I try to keep my head held in that space. And I'm pretty good at it a lot of the time. But in the beginning, I definitely started out just thinking, and this is, before I ever worked with Brad, I should say, you know, my journey started before that, I just thought, you know what, I got to get some of this weight off my body, I want to feel better about myself. And so I kind of did the yo-yo dieting thing, and then realized that that was not serving me mentally and emotionally. So I took a couple year break, to just clean up my relationship with myself, with my body, with the scale, with food. And then I hired Brad. And it's been way healthier over the last year and a half or so.
Amber B 10:35
That's so good. So I'm curious your perspective on this, because I think you kind of bring up some really, really good topics that, you know, we could dive into any one of these topics, but this idea that, and I think coming from your background with mental health, there's a lot that we can do with our thoughts, right, there's a lot we can do to work through the thoughts that we have that create these emotions, that create our actions. And, you know, on one extreme, there can be this idea. And we get this a lot from like the body positivity space of like, if you just change your thoughts about your body, then you don't necessarily need to change your body. Right. So that may be on one end of the spectrum. Maybe on the far end, or the other spectrum is like, well, like I want to change my body. And so I'm going to change my body and I don't have to change my thoughts about it. And I don't like it. And I don't want to change the fact that I don't like it. How are you rectifying those two opposing viewpoints that yes, our thoughts are powerful. But can we also want to still change our body even if we're changing our thoughts at the same time?
Such a great question I love. I'm always thinking about this. And I'll tell you what, the way I think about it today, maybe it will change. But as of today, I think if I noticed that I need to change my body in order to love my body and love myself and feel good about myself, then I've got that work to do. But also, it's okay to want to change my body. So there's a difference between needing to change it and wanting to change it right? Like needing meaning that I tie my emotions to whether or not I achieved that, and I deny myself, validation and all of that until that happens, not healthy. But it's okay to want to be healthier, or even just look better in your swimsuit. If you understand that you don't need that to love yourself. So I like to use the example of anybody that has kids, that, you know, I have a five year old daughter who's going to start kindergarten this fall. And I love her dearly. And I also hope that she'll learn to read, I want her to learn to read. Now, if for some reason she has a disability, or she just for whatever reason can't learn to read, I'm not gonna be like, well, then I don't love you. Right? Like, I love her no matter what. But I also want to see her improve herself in this way and make her expand her world in her life and achieve these skills and goals. So I personally think that if you love your body, then you don't have any, you don't need to change it. Yes, you don't need to, but you might want to, which is okay.
Amber B 13:10
And it's okay to want to. I love that response. I think you like nails, I mean, right on the head of the difference between a need and a want. And a need to have something happen and a desire to create something. And I think we mean, we can see that in so many other areas of life, I think about business like, Is it okay to want to grow your business? Is it okay to want to make more money? Yes. And if you're going to go after that increased revenue from this neediness, it's probably not very healthy or needing to be fulfilled through it, or I'm only good enough if I have x figure, you know, size business, then yeah, that's a problem. But you can want to have more money, you can want to make more money, you can want to grow your business. And I think that the difference between needing and wanting comes from within, right? The end result may be the same that you want that you are attempting to lose weight, but it's like where the desire comes from inside of you.
Yeah, exactly. That's exactly right, Amber and because unfortunately, if you don't do that work along the way to try to keep yourself in, I think of it like a wobble, like I wobble in and out of Oh, I just need to lose a little weight. I need a string. I need to get my arms tone because they look terrible. Like I go to that place but then I do the work to go. No, we're gonna just appreciate and love and no matter if my arms could look like this forever and it doesn't matter. And then I can go to work wanting because if you don't do that work, then you can get to the goal, you can punish yourself, torture yourself to making more money, changing your body, whatever the thing is, but you're not going to find the relief you think you're going to find, or at least it's not going to be long lasting. So unfortunately, the only way is to do the work along the way. Obviously, that's the healthier way. So yeah, I don't know. It's interesting.
Amber B 15:02
Well, it's so good. And I think this is I mean, I love that you as a, you know, Master life coach are saying that you still go to that place. And I think that's really valuable for people to hear because it's the same with me, like, I go to those places. It's not that you and I don't ever go to those places in our mind, we've just gotten to the place where we can notice it, recognize it and shift out of it. And so I think there's a for anybody's listening, there's no shame for these things coming up. We're human, we have a brain, they're going to come up and then it's about Okay, now once we notice it, oh, now I, there it is again. And now I can go and I can start to work through it and I can start to shift it. So I think it's so awesome to be able to normalize that for people not thinking that the end destination we're looking for is for it never to come up. The end destination we're working for is for when it comes up to catch it and be able to shift yourself out of it, which is exactly what you're learning to do so well, in your fitness journey.
I'm trying, it's been so amazing over the last year to just experience it so differently than I have before where I insisted with myself, that I'm not just going to watch my macronutrients and things like that. I'm going to, as importantly, do the work to love my body and the mental work along the way. Yeah. And so powerful. Yeah.
Amber B 16:18
Do you think it's changed the way that you've worked with clients or maybe some empathy that you have for clients for things that come naturally and easy to you seeing it from another side of something that maybe doesn't come as easy?
Yeah, definitely. I mean, you know, it's helpful to have analogies, I think that's how we kind of all learn best. So for me, I'm like, well, in my business, I think about it this way, I could apply that over here with food. And that's going to be the same for some of my clients too, for some of my clients, the nutrition and the food in the exercise thing comes easier. And then in business, they're struggling so I can easily identify where they're coming from, even if you know, my strengths and their weaknesses don't align.
Amber B 16:59
Yeah, that's really, really good. Alright, so one of the things that I really wanted you to come on the podcast to talk about and we'll talk through with me today and with anybody listening is the scale. Because, you know, I think there's a lot of opinions about scales, I think there's a lot of emotion that comes up, a lot of our self worth that we can be tied to this little piece of equipment. And I want to walk through this and help maybe people who are listening come to maybe I'm in a more empowering place with the scale and working through how we think about it with our brain. So one of the things that a lot of women struggle with is stepping on the scale and from that experience having all sorts of emotions, right, I'm doing great, I'm doing awful, whatever it is, we start to give away a lot of our power to this little piece of equipment. So why do you think that is and where do you think that comes from?
Well, I you know, I think we've been socialized from a pretty young age, a lot of nonsense about bodies and weight and things in general. I think that I don't know, I mean, we're told over and over again, like I follow a lot of accounts like your amazing Instagram accounts that teach really powerful things about the body about what affects the scale, it's so much more than just what I ate yesterday right? And I think most of us probably know that if we're paying attention. I think we understand its hormones, its sleep, its water, its you know, so many things such as hydration, inflammation and sometimes it is better to gain some fat or what have you. But it's really, really hard to undo the conditioning that we've received some of us have been exposed to over and over again about the scale. I'll just tell you how I do it, maybe this will help. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this as well. But I weigh myself pretty much every morning and just because I want that many data points to see how my food and exercising things affect me but I take my time you know, I get up, use the bathroom, whatever. And then I take a minute to stretch like I'm sort of doing a yoga pose almost because it's for a minute it's me connecting with my body. I'm just like, Hey, I take a minute to be like hey, I feel so good in my body right now. Nothing's hurting, you know, and I thank my body for taking care of me . It's almost like before I step on that scale, I decide how much I love and appreciate my body. And it's a little like a little mini conversation of no matter what that scale says, I love you. I'm just curious what the scale says. So it's a quick moment. But it really for me is like a sort of a sun salutation, like, take a breath. Thanks, I love you. I don't care what this scale sets, right? And then I get on the scale. And sometimes I'm surprised. And sometimes I'm like, yeah, that's what I thought it would be. But it's like a little decision. And I can't say that I'm not affected at all, like, I still prefer it when the scales are moving whatever direction I'm trying to get to move. But it's kind of like, what's interesting and that's it. So it requires that I do that, though. And I noticed if I stopped taking that second before that 30 seconds before to do that, then after a while, I noticed a little bit more emotion start coming into effect when I get on that scale. So I don't. I am curious what you think the reason why is because you focus on this area.
Amber B 20:56
I mean, I think you hit on a lot of things, I think that conditioning on being told that, like smaller is better, you know, taking up less space, like a smaller weight is always better. And you know, that's a lot of us, you know, a lot of like reprogramming that I I try to help women to do on my page is detaching from that of like smaller and better, like, muscle takes up space, we want to like have more muscle like normalizing women wanting to gain muscle and wanting to gain on the scale, I think is so powerful for other women to see who have come up with that idea that no, no lower numbers, smaller numbers always, always better. I totally agree, I think there's a lot of value in weighing daily, if only to have the experience that you're talking about of being able to walk yourself through it and have it happen every day, right, like having that opportunity every day to step on the scale. And so love yourself, no matter what you see on that, and make that as a conscious decision every single day. And then we can start to normalize data points, we can start to normalize fluctuations. I talk a lot about moving from this idea of a diet or to becoming a macro scientist. And to me one of the biggest differences between someone who is a dieter and someone who is a scientist is emotion. Most scientists aren't emotionally connected to their experiment, right? My brother is a biochemistry PhD, and he never is super emotionally connected to whether his little things grow or not. I mean, maybe if something goes wrong, he's a little bit disappointed. But it's not like this, like emotional connection. And to me, it's like when we can step into that realm of like, I did an experiment. I tried some things yesterday, and I'm stepping on the scale to receive some data from that. That's a really powerful place to be rather than this idea that, you know, our emotion is tied to whatever that number is on the scale.
Yeah, and that's what's so good.
Amber B 22:51
Did you have any resistance? I'm curious, in the past? How often have you weighed yourself? Is it always been daily or is that been something that's changed as you kind of gone on this journey?
I've only weighed myself daily when I've had a nutrition or fitness goal. Like I'm really an intentional one. And so, no, I didn't always but I agree with you. I chose to do it daily, because I wanted more data points. But also, I wanted to do the work of learning how to love my body and detach from it in that way. From the scale. I mean, in that way. So yeah.
Amber B 2328
And that's where have you heard of like this hot hashtag, like, #tossthescale? Or everyone
I haven't heard of that until you introduced it to me
Amber B 23:35
And throws out scales? Oh my gosh, you can see it on Instagram, where people will smash their scale, or like, go, it's a real one of them throwing it into the trash. And I think it comes from this good place of wanting to detach from the scale. But it's like solving the problem by like, burying the problem, like the problem is still there. Is that attachment to something else you're not actually working through? And so I love that you say you want to do the work.
Yeah, and I'm sort of a fan of changing up your goal. If you notice your head going to an unhealthy space. That's what I do. I did you know, I wanted to lose fat. And so the scale, obviously, you could take measurements and there's no perfect way to turn it I guess unless you got like a full body scan every week or something.
Amber B 24:23
But you know, even that, please, oh, those are not accurate. Okay. That's a great data point. But you have to be taking it in conjunction with these other data points. Okay. as well. Yeah, there's Yeah, theory, right. There's no perfect, perfect number to look at.
But I think the scale seems to be the easiest way or this one way anyway to collect data points. So I was weighing myself. I was also doing measurements and taking photos and things for about seven or eight months really focusing on fat loss. And, and then I got to a point where I was, I lost about 20 pounds, put on a little bit of muscle, and I was happy with that. And there were like five more pounds that I thought I could definitely be even healthier if I lost five more pounds. But that's pretty tough. The last five pounds are kind of the hardest thing. And I started to notice my head going to unhealthy places. And that's when I decided it's definitely overdue time for a diet break. But also, even now I'm kind of focusing on my nutrition again, but I'm like, I don't know that weight is gonna be my goal. There's so many goals, you can set around your nutrition, you can set a goal to gain muscle, you can just set a goal to not eat like a jerk, you know, and whatever way you want to define that. And I think it's powerful to note that we don't want to pay attention and Okay, I have, I'm making the scale mean something that's work I might need to do. But sometimes it gets hard enough that I'm like, Okay, let's not do that work right now let's find something that's more available to you that we can make progress in that doesn't take your head down a dark place.
Amber B 26:02
Yeah, we're not so you talk about your mind going to a dark place, especially that lost five pounds. What did that look like for you? For someone who maybe like don't doesn't recognize that they're kind of in that place because they're not aware of their thoughts and their brain? Maybe as much as you are? What does that look like for you?
For me, it's more emotion around what I eat, more of my thoughts. I don't want a high percentage of my thoughts even being focused on food, whether it be what am I going to eat? What did I eat? I'm just like, What a waste of my brain? You know? So like a lot of thoughts about food, a lot more emotion about how I did or didn't do, all of a sudden, it becomes much harder to get myself to exercise, the desire to overeat and you know, binge a little bit is stronger. And that's when I might Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, we're not gonna go there. So that's what it looks like for me.
Amber B 26:58
That's so good. So for somebody who maybe is not at the place where they feel like they have power over the scale, or they feel very controlled by the scale, you gave one of the sessions that you use of I love that like taking that moment to like be in your body to love your body before you step on the scale. Is there any other thought work or things that someone can be working through to maybe start to improve that relationship with scale a little bit at a time?
Well, and so I loved one of the questions that you posed to me, when we were prepping for this was like, Can you really have a relationship with a piece of plastic king glass, or whatever? And so I don't think of it so much as a relationship with the scale. Although I love that you sent me that question, because I started thinking about it, I'm like, Well, no, I don't mean the scale, I mean, the relationship with your body weight. But then I was like, you know, what's interesting, though, is the human brain. It gets triggered, we condition ourselves, right? Like Pavlov's dogs, they got conditioned, every time they heard the bell, they celebrated, they knew they were going to eat. And so I do think that, like, my scale is white, I know exactly what it looks like. And if I tend to be hard on myself, or if the scale is like a roller coaster for me, then I condition myself that when I see that thing, I immediately feel something, right. So I'd like to kind of have a little bit of a relationship with that scale. But what I try to focus on for me that helps with that is, like I said, relationship with my body, but even relationship with food. And, you know, every I feel like I love what Gretchen Rubin teaches, which is that people who are abstainers from whatever food it is, let's say sugar, for example, Abstainers will say, you should abstain, you should never eat sugar, because if you eat a little, it's going to be too hard. And they have a whole, like, very logical argument for it. And then people who are modifiers say, No, if you do that, you're just going to build up desire for it. And then you're going to give in and then you're going to binge on it, and you just let yourself have a little bit. And I just think we all have to decide for ourselves. If abstaining is easier, abstaining is easier, moderate, you know, for me, I'm definitely a moderator. Like, I cannot have weird rules about what I can and can't eat and I have to respect like I talked to my clients about. I'm like, Don't booty call your food, you know, a booty call where you're just like, Hey, you wanna come over?
Amber B 29:34
Come here and satisfy me.
Yeah, and keep it a secret. I'm telling you what, I do this sometimes where I'm like, I kind of want to eat a bunch of junk right now I don't really want my husband to see my husband doesn't care. But, you know, I'm just like, don't let anyone see cuz you should be ashamed. Like, I just know I'm kind of booty calling my first stop very nice to my food even. So anyway, I don't think so much about the scale in particular as I think about my body, my food, I have relationships with those things, and I work on them when I say work on them, I pay attention to what I'm feeling and how I'm thinking and I stop and go. Now is that how I want to feel about it? Or do I want to just be like a food thanks for fueling my body and hey, chocolate glazed donut. You're amazing. And you tasted delicious and you're not serving me but I'm glad you were here. And thanks for giving me a little treat, you know, like, be respectful of all the things that go into your nutrition. I guess what I'm saying?
Amber B 30:39
I love that you brought up Gretchen Rubin's Moderator versus Abstainer. I'm curious, because I've had the experience in my coaching. I've seen people who come in as abstainers be able to move to moderators. I don't know that Gretchen Rubin would agree with that. I think she has a little bit more hardline like you either. It's like an identity. Right? You're either our identity or moderator. Have you always been a moderator? Do you feel like you've moved from an abstainer to a moderator? What does that look like for you? And you know, maybe what have you seen in other areas with coaching that you've done?
Well, one of the things I heard Gretchen Rubin say, one time I must have been on her podcast or something was that she was saying that you could be one way in one area of your life and a different way in another area. And to me, that's, I feel like that makes the most sense. Like there are areas in my business where we might call me more of an abstainer. Abstaining meaning you tend to be more of a perfectionist about it, right? Like, I never miss a podcast. Every Friday, I published podcasts for like six years. I mean, that's pretty extreme. I'm like, I don't think maybe I actually missed one week when I had a baby. But
Amber B 31:49
I guess you're okay. Missing one week when you had a baby
Otherwise, like six years. That's how that's not like me. But with food on the other end with my treats my and then like, as a member of a certain religion that's very conservative. I am also an abstainer when it comes to alcohol. I never drink alcohol ever. So I think that to say that you are this or you are that is definitely like limiting. And as human beings, we're so nuanced and complicated that wouldn't make sense. But in terms of like, I tried abstaining from sugar and flour for a while. And it was not really good for me. All I did was think about sugar and flour, and then overeat sugar and flour after a while. So I can't say I was an abstainer. I mean, I did it for a few months very successfully. Yeah, but it wasn't good. Yeah. So I don't know. I can't say I've necessarily seen people change, but I think it's possible.
Amber B 32:53
Yeah, I think that the experience that I've seen the most is the candy bowl, is like women who are like, I can't have candy at my house. Like if I have candy in my house, I'll eat it. So then the solution for me is just like not to have candy around. And I've seen that where they've worked through a lot of things and gotten to that place where they can destigmatize candy and kind of come to this neutral ground with food and move to the place where they can have a bowl of candy on the counter. And it's not that pole that it used to have. So whether or not they were an abstainer, or they tried to abstain and it didn't work, I don't know. But I've definitely seen that shift in women who are like, I can't have it in the house. If I have it, I'll eat it while moving to a place where, yeah, they can't have it at home. I feel very confident, comfortable and can have it when they want.
I would totally agree with that. Yes, I would agree with that. And I like again, the way I approach things is that you pay attention to the thoughts. So if my thought is my I want that candy, I want that candy. What really helps me is the thought, Oh, my brain is just misinformed. Like it thinks that that candy will keep me alive forever because of dopamine hit I get when I eat it. But it's confused. And in fact, it kind of thinks if I don't eat it, I might die.
Amber B 34:01
You might die. You might
But that's not true either. I'll actually just get over it in a few minutes. So I do love doing that work of decreasing your cravings in your desire around things that don't serve you.
Amber B 34:15
So when we're talking about these different relationships, maybe we have a relationship with food. We have a relationship with our body, we have a relationship with the scale. What do you think has been the hardest relationship for you to work through and the most rewarding?
Well, let me think that's a really good question. Probably my relationship with Diet Coke.
Amber B 34:42
Tell us more about yourself with Diet Coke. I think that's relatable.
Yeah. Okay, so growing up, a member of the Mormon church and in a town with not many Mormon friends, everyone would drink alcohol and I would drink Diet Coke, from a very young age, and they would bring me Diet Coke as super nice friends. And I just got really hooked on it. And I don't I'm not against Diet Coke. I don't know what your stance is on it. But me personally, I have blood sugar issues, and I think I'm prone to develop diabetes, possibly. And it really, oddly enough, gives me a blood sugar low if I drink Diet Coke and don't have enough food. I think my body doesn't understand that the NutraSweet isn't real sugar, maybe it's caffeine, I don't know. Anyway, I don't care if people drink Diet Coke. But for me, I know it does not serve me. It makes it harder to eat healthy and all the things. So at one point I cut it out altogether back when I cut out flour and sugar and everything I just went all in, terrible headaches, terrible cravings, nothing to look forward to in my life. It was you wherever
Amber B 35:46
you are going to die. That's what your brain was telling you.
I really felt like I was dying. I was skinnier but dying inside. Um, anyway. So then I let myself start drinking it again and of course was drinking too much. And at one point, I just decided, listen, I'm not going to fixate on this diet coke thing again, I kind of went back to moderating. I was like, we're gonna drink some Diet Coke if we want. But in this, this was really powerful. This is when I started working with Brad and he was really big on like, you need to drink more water. So I'm like, Alright, I'm gonna drink 80 ounces of water a day. It's a lot of water. Well, turns out when you're drinking that much water, you don't really have room for as much Diet Coke. So instead of telling myself, I'm not going to do this thing, it was I'm going to start doing this thing. And that was so I responded way better to I'm going to start doing like I'd much rather make more money than stop spending money. I'd much rather start drinking more water than stop drinking Diet Coke. But it just so happens when you're drinking that much water. You don't end up drinking as much Diet Coke. And overtime it's crazy to say, but I sort of lost my taste for Diet Coke. I still drink it a little bit. But like, one or two cans a week, and I was drinking like a super big gulp every day before. So that's been the most fascinating relationship change for me, in a way it was kind of sad. I was like, I miss my diet coke. I miss loving it in this odd way. But obviously I feel so much better. So I just thought, what can you start doing? Like, instead of saying I'm not going to eat so much sugar? Can you just say I'm going to eat more fruit or I'm going to eat more veggies like way more fun.
Amber B 37:36
Oh, way more fun. And like you said, way more effective for a lot of people. Adding things in rather than subtracting things. It's like, what can we add instead of making ourselves more visible for our brain to connect like, I can't have that restriction? No. Like I'm gonna die. I hate that our brain doesn't like to have things taken away from it. Right. But adding that's great. Yeah, out away. So I think that's a super great tangible tip for anybody who's listening. If you are finding something that's challenging, you know, in your fitness journey, or in whatever, what can you add instead of what can you subtract? So good. So what are your current fitness goals? If you've gone through this journey, and you've kind of lost 20 pounds, you said you're kind of reassessing. What are you working on right now in terms of health and fitness? Or are you kind of out of maintenance period?
I'm definitely in more of a maintenance period. So when I took my kind of my diet break and went to maintenance, I'll tell you, for me like, actually, maintenance is harder. I don't know if you find this to be common, but
Amber B 38:45
That's for almost everybody.
is harder than dieting. Because of dieting I'm focused, I'm tracking what I'm like, it's like I can make it into a game like this.
Amber B 38:56
You feel like you're moving forward?
Yes. You're like excited because that scale went down or whatever. maintenance. I'm like, oh, now what it feels like the brain wants to be like, great. Let's just go back to what we did before. So I'm really trying to just consistently eat like a lady. Like a normal person, not extremely not like dieting or, you know, who cares about eating like a jerk. So, I mean, like I said, I am still in the back of my mind. I'm like, I have five more pounds I want to lose. But I don't need to lose five pounds, like we said. But I'm still working with Brad, I still talk to Brad. Brag every other week. We do calls because I like to check in with him, where's my head at. And we make decisions sometimes like, Hey, I have a bunch of vacations coming up. I'm not going to track on vacation. I'm maybe not even gonna exercise, you know, but I like making the decision in advance rather than just getting there and then feeling like I'm not honoring my commitments to myself. Other times, like right now, I just met with him this week, actually. And I'm like, I want to dial it in, I want to focus on my macro goals. And so we set macro goals, and I'm tracking everything right now. But these five pounds that I want to lose, I'm like, I don't care if it takes me years to lose them. Or if my weight goes up, and maybe I never lose them, I don't know. But I do think I have five more pounds of body fat, that and increasing muscle and really just being consistent. My main goal right now is just consistency, consistency with eating, mostly healthy foods, consistency with moving my body and doing some strength training. And those things are still I have to really kind of force myself to exercise to be honest right now. So I'm trying to get back into the routine of all that. And that's just really my main focus.
Amber B 40:52
Yeah, I think people will hear it may be reassuring to hear that like, consistency, is it like it's something that you're working on, right? Consistency is something that you're struggling with. And it's not just super easy, and you just like to snap your finger. And, you know, you're consistent. And I think it's helpful to kind of normalize that as well as like, you know, this is a process and even someone who's really good at coaching themselves and working themselves through has a coach, by the way, which I think is, you know, I have a coach, you have a coach, like good coaches have coaches. Know the power of getting outside of your brain. There's a lot you can do to self coach. That's right. There's a lot that a coach can see that it's hard for sure to coach,
Oh, for sure. What I love about having a coach too, is that you can sort of, I think your belief in yourself and your ability to achieve whatever your goals are, is the most important part. Yes, of achieving your goal. And it's hard to believe in ourselves in the beginning, especially if we've never done it before but it's not hard for you, Amber, to believe in one of your clients. Because you've seen it happen, and you've done it. And so I love having a coach because I just borrow their belief. Like I remember when the first time I talked to Brad and said, Why kind of want to lose 20 to 25 pounds. And for some reason in my head he was gonna go well, he was gonna laugh at you. I mean, you're a 46 year old mom. I don't know why I just like for sure he's gonna tell me to be more realistic. But he didn't. He's just like, okay, we knew that like, and I was like, yeah are you sure? So I was like, okay, he thinks, and he knows, I told him my age. I told him all the things. And I told him that I've never really done that before. And he still didn't seem to think that that wasn't possible. So maybe it's true. Maybe it's possible. So you borrow their belief, you borrow obviously, their knowledge and their expertise. But for sure, like, you've got to have a coach.
Amber B 42:51
That's so so good. Oh, this has been so fun. I could sit here and chat with you for days. So if somebody is wanting to get more of Jody, where's the best place for them to go and find you.
We talked about the podcast Better than Happy and they could go to Jodymoore.com. And we have lots of free resources and things on there. I'm also on Instagram, @jodymoorecoaching, if you like social media, or Facebook.
Amber B 43:18
Yeah, And I would say if you like the way that I coach in the realm of fitness, you're going to love the way that Jody coaches and like all the other areas of life. So if you resonate with the way that I speak, and the way that I coach and the way that I teach, you're going to love the stuff that Jody has to teach you. And it's gonna apply to so many areas of your life. So definitely go and check her out.
Amber B 43:38
Thanks for coming on the podcast Jody. It's been such an awesome time, thank you.
Amber B 43:44
Hey, I hope that you loved that episode as much as I did. I really could have chatted with Jody all day long. And she mentioned getting me on her podcast. So hopefully, that'll be happening soon. And we can kind of pick up where we left off and continue that conversation. But I really loved it and I just kind of want to reiterate one of the things that Jody said because this is a question that I get asked a lot. Can you love your body and yourself and still want to change it? And I think Jody, so beautifully answered that very early on in the interview where she made this delineation between that desire for change versus a need for change. And so I think it's a really good opportunity for us as we're, you know, going after our fitness goals, going after aesthetic goals, going after performance goals of coming back to that question of where is that desire for that goal coming from? Is it a desire? Is it a want? Or is it a need? Is it that neediness that I need to change in order to be acceptable, I need to change in order to be worthy, I need to change in order to be enough or is it coming from a place where you're already whole and complete with yourself and you desire to do something else? And I think that was such a beautiful way to differentiate between those very different energies that come from neediness versus desire.
Amber B 45:06
If you are tired of your only tool for transformation being restriction and deprivation and cutting out food groups, and you want to be someone who can look in the mirror, and actually like see a visible transformation, and you aren't willing to like cut out sugar to get there, then macro counting is the tool that is missing from your tool belt. But just like any tool, a hammer, a saw, the tool is really only as effective as the person who is wielding the tool actually makes it. And what I see time and time again, are women who start using the tool of macro counting, without really understanding how to set or adjust their macros. And this leads them to getting lackluster results, getting frustrated with the process and scrolling through Instagram just feeling defeated. Because they're like, well, macro counting worked for that woman, why the heck didn't work for me. And then getting to this place where you quit and you say something silly like, well, I tried in macro county doesn't work. That is like letting go of a helium balloon in like watching it float away and being like, well, I guess gravity just doesn't work. No, friend, science is science. Gravity is working just like it should on that balloon, you just don't quite understand the nuances of gravity, right? And it's the same thing with macro counting. The question is not does macro counting work? Because macro counting is just basically science. The question is, how can I wield that scientific principle? How can I wield that tool of macro counting to get better results? How can I use the tool for my specific situation? And that's what I teach my clients inside to have confidence in your numbers.
Amber B 46:50
So I created confidence in your numbers, because I saw one, glaring large hole in the market. And that is that two, many women are relying on expensive coaches to set and adjust their macros for them. Now I get it, because most coaches want you to pay them, and in exchange they'll set your macros for you. And then if you want to pay them more money, they'll know you “coach” you and they'll adjust your macros for you like week to week. But of course, they're not gonna actually teach you how to do that yourself. Because why? Well, it's simple. But they want to keep getting paid. Like that's their business model, which I totally get. And it benefits them to make. adjusting your macros and setting your macros feel as complicated or as nebulous as possible. But it's really not that complicated. And, well, that's not really my business model. I don't want to set your macros for you. And I really don't want you to keep paying me to have me adjust them for you, I would rather teach you how to do it yourself. So that you don't have to keep paying someone month to month to do something that is simple enough for you to do on your own. It's kind of like that comment saying, if you know, give it to a woman most of us give a woman a fish and she eats for a day teaches a woman how to fish and she eats for a lifetime. So the question really is do you want to be the woman who gets given a fish and then you're left to metaphorically starve when you stop paying for the fish? Or do you want to be the woman who learns how to fish so that you can keep snagging those fish for free without having to rely on someone else to feed you? So if you're like me, and you're the type of woman who wants to learn how to fish, then Confidence In Your Numbers is for you.
Amber B 48:27
Confidence In Your Numbers is a live masterclass where I teach you how to set your macros for your unique body. And I teach you how to adjust them over time. Because here's a second common mistake that I see a lot of women making when they start counting macros. They set their macros and they're like, oh, success is just as easy as just following these numbers to the finish line. Which is kind of like saying you can travel around the world in a single vehicle. Right? Stay with me on this metaphor. So sure a car is great for driving across the United States, but then you're going to hit the Atlantic Ocean. And you can't drive that car any further. You have to get on a new vehicle on a boat or a plane to keep going. And the same thing applies to your macros. If you just set your macros once and you keep following them. You're going to plateau, you're going to hit the Atlantic Ocean, and then you're going to get frustrated because what you're doing isn't working anymore, and then you're going to not see results and quit and then really not see results. So just like you got to swap out your vehicle based off of the terrain, if you want to avoid plateauing in your journey, you're going to need to adjust your macros throughout your journey, which for some people can feel like that's really complex. And again, that's what most coaches really want you to believe because well then you'll pay them to do it for you. But I'm not that type of coach, which is why in Confidence In Your Numbers, I've really simplified adjusting macros into something that really anyone can learn and it allows you to skip the overpriced coach and make your adjustments on your own which can really accelerate your results. So, if you want to learn to set and adjust your own macros you'll want to come join me for my live paid masterclass on July 28. Now, you can go to my website and purchase a prior recording of Competency In Your Numbers. It's always for sale for $199. But because I will be delivering this class live, which is always more fun anyways, if you join before the 28th, before July 28, you'll get access to everything I teach there you'll get all the secrets about setting and adjusting macros for just $99. And because Confidence In Your Numbers is the perfect step to take the perfect action to take now in order to prime you for my signature program Macros 101. We also allow you to apply your confidence in your numbers investment towards macros one on one, which means if you're listening to this and you plan to join us for the last round of Macros 101 of 2021 in September, joining Competence In Your Numbers is essentially free because the investment you make in competence your numbers will be applied towards your macros 101 enrollment, which is super cool. Like that's super cool. So if you're ready to you know finally snap that after picture that after picture that you've wanted to take, come and join my live masterclass Competence In Your Numbers, and you're going to walk away with all those secrets that most coaches won't share, about how to set and adjust your own macros. So if you're ready to sign up, go to bicepsafterbabies.com/confidence to get registered for class and I'll see you on July 28. That's bicepsafterbabies.com/confidence.
Amber B 51:41
That wraps up this episode of Biceps After Babies Radio. I'm Amber now go out and be strong because remember my friend, you can do anything.
Hold up, sister friend. Do you love Biceps after Babies radio? If so, the best way to say thank you is to subscribe to the podcast and leave a review on iTunes. I know, every podcaster wants you to leave a review, but it's because those reviews help the podcast to reach more people. And I do truly want to know what you think. If this particular episode resonated with you, will you also please share it? Either send the link to someone who would find it valuable or take a screenshot and post it to your social media and tell your friends and family why they should listen. Make sure you tag me @biceps.after.babies so I can hear your feedback and give you a little love. And you know, if you aren't already following me on Instagram or Facebook, that's the perfect time to hit that follow button. Thank you for being here and listening to Biceps after Babies radio.