Today on the podcast we discuss three mindset shifts that make weight loss, or your goals, easier. You can apply these shifts to support literally any goal that you have! So without further ado, let’s dive into today’s episode!
Find show notes at bicepsafterbabies.com/162
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- Transformation inside out (2:29)
- No. 1 Ask: How could this be more fun? (9:07,12:12)
- The key to long term results is enjoying the process (15:13)
- No. 2 Releasing attachment to your goals (16:41,19:34)
- The belief that success is inevitable (23:40)
- No. 3 Getting rid of the comparison (27:58)
- Keep your eyes on the results that you want (30:39)
You're listening to Biceps after Babies radio episode number 162.
Hello and welcome to Biceps after Babies radio. A podcast for ladies who know that fitness is about so much more than pounds lost or PRs. It's about feeling confident in your skin and empowered in your life. I'm your host, Amber Brueseke, a registered nurse, personal trainer, wife, and mom of four. Each week, my guests and I will excite and motivate you to take action in your own personal fitness as we talk about nutrition, exercise mindset, personal development, and executing life with conscious intention. If your goal is to look, feel, and be strong and experience transformation from the inside out, you, my friend are in the right place. Thank you for tuning in, now let’s jump into today’s episode.
Hey, Hey, Hey, welcome back to another episode of biceps after babies radio. I'm your host, Amber Brueseke. And I am so excited about today's topic. I mean, I'm excited about most days' topics. But this one in particular has a little bit of my heart. Many of you know that, and some of you are in this next round of Macros 101 that we just started. And as we start off our clients, a lot of the things that we do inside of Macros 101, is all around teaching them how to be the most effective in the program, how to get the most out of the time that we're spending together in the program. And so we spend the first week with what we like to call prep week, which is where I'm going to live. I'm teaching about what they need to do to be successful in this journey. And all the things that I am teaching are things that some people would label mindset. And I think it's really important as you are learning and growing and trying to get whatever result it is that you're getting that we don't fall into this very, very common pattern of thinking that the only thing that's keeping you from getting the results that you want is the doing is the tricks and the tips. Like if you just googled one more My Fitness Pal tip, then maybe it would all come together and you would magically have the results that you wanted. Or maybe if you could just figure out how to stay consistent over the weekend, then that would solve all of your problems, and you'd be able to get all the results that you want.
Transformation inside out 2:29
In reality, the action that you take does create results. But it's really important to understand that the action that you take comes from the beliefs, the identity, the inside work that you have done. And that's why I always talk about transformation happening from the inside out. Because it is those beliefs, it is that identity, it is those things that you're telling yourself that then manifest themselves in the actions that you take and thus the results that you get. So for that reason, one of the first things that we do in Macros 101 is we start talking about,“mindset”. I don't really love that word mindset because it has like this like “Flufluey” connotation to some people, and people tend to like brush it off. “oh, yeah, my mindset, mymindset”. Now, I think that the tides are kind of shifting. And I think when you say mindset, more people are interested now than they used to be. Because people are starting to realize that transformation does are from the inside out. And that mindset does impact your actions, which then impacts your results. And if you're only spending time on the action, part of your journey, and no time on the beliefs, on the mindset on the things that you're telling yourself on the things that you're keeping hidden, then you're never going to be able to manifest the results that you want. And so this mindset stuff is “Fluefuey” mindset stuff, and is actually the key to getting the results that you want. And when people start to understand that they start to pay attention. And they start to realize that this mindset stuff may actually hold something for them. Because they've done all the doing, they've done all the learning, they've read every blog out there, they've watched every YouTube video, they've tried it to you know, to implement the things and they still get frustrated because they don't have the results that they want.
You’ve been focusing on the wrong part of the equation 4:19
The number of women who come to me is like a sense of desperation, a sense of frustration, a sense of discouragement from the previous things that they've experienced. And for some women, we're talking years, we're talking like 40 plus years of feeling like they haven't been able to figure this out. A feeling like they aren't in control of their bodies, of feeling like every single thing that they've tried has been a failure. And that maybe that means that they're a failure as well. So the number of women who come to me with this part of them that just is like almost on their last straw. Like I'm so frustrated, I'm so disappointed, I'm so disgusted, I need to lose weight, I need this to work. The number of women who come into the program like that is not a small amount. And the first like understanding that I would have you have, if that's you listening to this, is that one of the reasons that you likely have not been successful in the past is not because there's something wrong with you, or because you're doing it wrong, or because you're incapable of seeing results. One of the reasons that you haven't been successful in the past is because you've been focusing on the wrong part of the equation. I have a middle schooler and so the order of operations is something that, you know, has been fresh on my mind. And if you think about it, if you remember all the way back to like your middle school days, the order of operations is the order in which you solve a math problem. So PEMDAS anybody? You start with parentheses, and then you go to exponents, right multiplication to like, PEMDAS, many of us learned that acronym to help us to remember the order of operations. And if you solve a math problem by doing the division first and leaving the parentheses for last, you're going to get the math problem wrong. And that's what I see a lot of women doing in their fitness journey is they're focusing so much on the doing, they're focusing so much on the actions, they're focusing so much on the physical manifestation of what it is that they want to accomplish. And they're wondering why they're not able to solve the problem.
Mindshift shifts 6:30
The reason is, because there is an order of operations, there is an order of operations of how you need to go through this process to create that transformation from the inside out. And the tricky thing is, and this is the reason that a lot of people get tripped up, is because if you are changing in the action line, if you are changing your actions, in order to then change your results, we know that our actions change our results. So if you are focusing on changing your actions in order to change your results, it will work for a while. It's super tricky, like that. Super sneaky, it will work for a while. And so we convinced ourselves that oh, well, it worked. Like I was able to white knuckle it, I was able to hold on, I was able to cut out sugar for a while and it worked. And then I just struggled to stay with it. Or it worked for a while and then I lost all the progress. And so it's tricky because we think it works but it actually in the long run doesn't end up working. And that is because you cannot change anything. You cannot just focus on changing just your actions to change your results, we have to focus on where those actions are coming from. And all of our actions come from our habits, they come from our beliefs, they come from our mindset, they come from the things that we're telling ourselves, they come from our history, they come from our past, like, all of those things are creating those actions. And if you just focus on changing the behavior, you just focus on changing your actions, it will never create the permanent, long lasting transformation that you actually want. So that is why this whole mindset is so incredibly important. And it's why when women come to me when they're at their wit's end, and they start, we start going through this process, and they're like, I've never done this kind of stuff before. I've always just focused on eating this, don't eat this workout, this time, don't work out this time, have this eating window, don't have this eating window. That's always what they focused on. And when we start to focus on this other stuff, everything starts to come together. And frankly, it's why I love what I get to do. So today on the podcast, we're going to talk about three mindset shifts that are going to make weight loss easier, or your goals easier. Honestly, you can apply any of these to literally any goal that you have, I don't care if you want to grow a business, or you want to, you know, start a nonprofit, or you want to lose 10 pounds, the things that I'm gonna be talking about here are shifts that you can make that are going to support any of those goals that you have set for yourself. So without further ado, let's dive into the first one.
Effectiveness and Enjoyability 9:07
Okay, the first mindset shift that I want you to consider making, Is it really a question? It's a question that I think we should be asking ourselves more often in our journey. And I'm not going to tell you the question, just yet, you have to wait for it. To lead up into this question, I want to start off with the false dichotomy that we that many of us find ourselves in, especially in the realm of reaching whatever fitness goals it is that we've set. But honestly, this dichotomy I feel like is present everywhere in any type of goal that you're trying to set. And that is the competition that we feel like there is between something actually working, something actually being effective, and actually something that's fun, something that we actually enjoy, so I talked about it with you probably see me draw the diagram of effectiveness and enjoyability. And so often, especially in our fitness journeys, we feel like those things are miles apart. And so so many of us walk through our lives where we feel like we have to choose between those things. Do I want this to be effective? and if so, it's going to probably have to suck. But that's okay. Like, I'm willing to have it suck, because I want the end result. And if I want the end result bad enough, then I'm going to be willing to wade through whatever sucky thing I have to do in order to get to the result. Or it's like YOLO, You Only Live Once, I want to just enjoy my life, I'm just gonna, like, do everything that I actually enjoy. And yeah, I'm not going to get the results, but at least I'm gonna be happy while I do it. How many of you guys have had that fight with yourself where you're like, I want to eat the cake because cake is yummy and I really enjoy cake, but I also want a six pack, and so I have to not eat the cake so that I can get a six pack.” And we have these like two parts of ourselves. They're almost like the angel and the devil. Like the devils on one side going “eat the cake, you love cake, it's gonna be so delicious, you should eat it.” and then the angel on the other side said “nope, if you want to have a six pack, you can't eat the cake, hold fast, have the motivation, have the willpower, suck it up, you can do it.” And you have this fight between yourselves. And honestly, sometimes the angel wins and you like, don't eat the cake. And sometimes the devil wins and you eat the cake. But it's this fight that we have between ourselves because we feel like we have to choose, we have to choose. Do you want to get results? Or do you want to like, enjoy life, and we're given this false bill of goods that we have to choose between those two. And rather than thinking about those two circles separately, like I have to choose one or the other, I love to live in the both and world where we can form a Venn diagram with those two things. And there is a place where they overlap, where we can do things in our journey that are Yes, effective and get us the results that they want, that we want. And also actually enjoyable. And to me, that's where the magic spot is. And this magic spot is different for everybody. Because what's going to be effective for one person is not the same as what's gonna be effective for another. And what's going to be enjoyable for one person is not what's going to be enjoyable for another.
No. 1 How could this be more fun? 12:12
And so I get really fired up when I start talking about this idea of that we have to customize this process, we have to customize it to us because what's effective for me is not necessarily going to be effective for you. And what's going to be enjoyable for me is not necessarily what's going to be enjoyable for you. But when you can find that sweet spot of where those two things overlap, that's when magic happens. And so that leads me to this first mindset shift, which is a question that I think is lacking in a lot of people's journeys. And I think if you started to ask yourself this question, you would move closer to being able to find that sweet spot where it can both be effective and enjoyable for you. And that question is, how could this be more fun? When was the last time you asked yourself that question in the realm of your fitness journey, or in the realm of anything, but you know, this is a fitness podcast. So in the realm of your journey, when was the last time you asked yourself? How could I make this more fun? How could this be more fun? What can I do to make this process more fun? If you're like most women, you don't ever ask yourself that question. And that's typically because a part of you has been told for so long that you have to choose. And for most of us, what we'll say is we'll say at what, okay, I will choose the results then and I will give up the enjoyability. I can cut out sugar, okay, fine, I can cut out carbs. Like we just have this idea that the more miserable we are, the better it's going to work. And that is false. It's a false dichotomy. It's not actually true. And so most of us don't ask ourselves this question of how could this be more fun? What can I do to make this more fun? So if you haven't ever asked yourself that question, it's a good one to sit down and reflect on it. Are you having fun on your journey right now?
Hard things can be fun as well 14:07
Now, let's be clear. I'm not saying like every single day, and every single part of your journey has to be butterflies and rainbows. That's not what I'm saying. Hard things can be fun as well. That's something that I've learned over the last couple of years as I especially as I've pushed my body in, you know, powerlifting or in CrossFit or in competitions. I've learned that like hard things, things that actually kind of suck can also be really rewarding, can also be really fun. So it's not, I'm not just saying, like this is rainbows and butterflies, and it's always super fun, and I'm always super happy. I'm saying it is enjoyable in your process. Because here's the truth guys. If you don't enjoy it, you ain't never gonna stick to it. If you don't stick to it, you're not actually gonna see results and if you see results, they're not gonna last. And so this is such a crucial beast that so many people are missing in their journey is they're giving up enjoyability, because they think it's going to get them results faster. when in actuality by giving up enjoyability, they've now sealed their fate of results that are never going to last.
The key to long term results is enjoying the process 15:13
The key to long term results is enjoying the process. And I know you see tattoos everywhere, and it's super cheesy, and it's like, super cliche, but it's cliche for a reason. Because it's true. The more you enjoy the process, the more you actually have fun with it, the more you make it into a game, the better results you're gonna get. I actually really like this metaphor of thinking about my goals, like a game, like how can I play the game? How can I make this more fun? How can I enjoy this process? Because I know that when I enjoy the process it is going to give me better results. So, you have a choice. If you really want better results, then you will focus on making it more fun. And if you haven't been doing in the past, well, now we've maybe identified something that you can work on moving forward. So ask yourself this question. How could this be more fun? What comes up for you? How could you implement that? How could you start adding that in? And if you have some resistance thereof like adding hidden fun to your journey? Well, they're like, you've already started to uncover this fact that you have this false dichotomy likely, like many women, that it has to be one or the other that you have to pick and you have to choose. We don't have to choose, we can live on both ends. How can it be both effective and enjoyable, both get the results I want and be fun along the way. That's a mindset shift, number one.
No. 2 Releasing Attachment 16:41
Mindset shift number two, is releasing attachment. When we set goals, typically if you're like me, if you're like many people in the world, we like to think that we are in control. And we like to think that we can orchestrate things the way we want to orchestrate things. And it's true, there are a lot of things that we are in control of. And there's a lot of things that are completely outside of our control. And it's important to recognize both against and the both ends, there's plenty of things that we're in control of. And there's plenty of things that are completely outside of our control. And what is going to make you more miserable and more angry and more frustrated than anything else is trying to control things that you can't actually control. And that's what a lot of people do in their journeys. They set a goal, they create all this attachment around it, they create this idea of what the timetables are going to be like, what it's going to look like, how it's going to unfold, how it's gonna happen. And then they get and then it doesn't, doesn't happen the way that they think it's going to happen. And then they get frustrated and discouraged, and they feel like they're off the path, and then they end up quitting. So this idea of attachment that we create to our goals is so incredibly valuable and important.
We create attachment around a goal 18:03
Now, just to clarify what I mean, when I say we create attachment around a goal, first of all, this is gonna be really valuable for those of you who don't set goals, or have a bad relationship with goal setting. Most of the people that I find that have a bad or poor relationship with goal setting it is because they create a goal, they create expectations around it, they create attachments to that goal. And then when they don't hit the goal, they feel super bad about themselves, they feel like they're not gonna ever be successful. They feel like it confirms that they're not good enough, that they can't do it, that other people have the power, but they can't have the power. And so it confirms all these negative things that they have created around this goal. And they develop a bad relationship with goals, they're like, well, I'm gonna set goals, if it's just gonna make me feel like crap when I don't hit these goals. And the reason that you feel like crap is not because of the goal itself, it is because of the attachment that you created to the goal, is because you set a goal, and then you created this whole entire story around, if I hit the goal, then that means bla bla bla bla. Or conversely, if I don't hit the goal, then that means I'm not good enough. I'm not going to be successful, I can't do this, I'm a loser, whatever. I'm a failure, all of those things. And so what you've done is you've not only created a goal, but you've created attachment around the goal. And then that feels like crap if you don't hit the goal because you created all this meaning and attachment around the goal.
Detach yourself from the goal 19:34
And so the solution that some people arrive at is oh, I'm just not going to set goals. When in actuality, the real conclusion that you should be arriving at is that I need to learn how to detach myself from the goal so that you shouldn't set the goal is that you need to learn how to detach from the outcome. And when you learn to detach from the outcome. Now you have these goals that propel you forward in your life and that aren't holding you back because of some crazy attachment that you've created. So whenever I start to talk about this concept people like nodding with me. And then the question that is forming in their mind, and maybe for me and yours as well is, that's great Amber, but how the heck do I do that? How do I release attachment? And in the most basic sense, I think sometimes we overcomplicate releasing attachment. Like if you were holding a pen in your hand, and I told you to let go of the pen like you would just let go of it. At some point, you learn to hold on to that pen and when you just choose to let go, then you release it. And it's the same way with attachment. At some point, you learned how to create attachment, which means you can choose at any point to let go of that attachment, you can create a different relationship with that goal. So that's on a high concept level of understanding that it doesn't have to be hard to release attachment, we make it hard because we don't want to let go. And you know, coaching and stuff will help you work through that. Absolutely. But one really, tangible way that you can start to learn how to release attachment from your goals is that you can separate the what from the how and when. So you are in control of what you want to achieve, you are in control of what your goal is, we set the goal. And then we release attachment, we release control, we put trust into how that's going to unfold for you. And the when the timetable, those are the two things that we tend to get caught up in, you have an idea of how you think it's going to unfold the steps, that is how it's going to look what the process is going to look like, you're going to step on the scale, and every day, it's going to be lower. And we have this idea of like when it's going to happen, you know, you're gonna start this process and eight weeks later, you're gonna hit your goal weight, and it's gonna be great. So we create this expectation of how it's gonna happen, and when it's going to happen. And that leads a lot of times into attachment.
Just trust and take action steps forward 22:15
So when we can be in charge of the what and then release the how and the when and just trust that it's going to unfold exactly how it needs to unfold. I will tell you that so many women who come into Macros 101 have told me later that through the program, and through the coaching, they got a lot of the lessons that they needed. And it really started to uncover things and it really started to shift things for them. But it didn't look at all the way that they thought it was going to look, they had to be open to this idea that I want to get this goal and it may look, the path to get there may look completely different from the path that I think I should take to get there. And when you can release control of it has to look this way, it has to look a certain way, it has to happen in this timetable, then you can just let it be. And you can just trust that it's gonna happen. One of my favorite mantras, it's going to take the time it takes. Everything is unfolding in the exact right way that it's supposed to unfold for me, the universe is conspiring to get me what I want. And your job is to put the intention out there to put the results out there that you want to put the goal out there that you want. And then just trust and take action steps forward. That's your goal is to sit in that space of just trusting and taking the steps forward and trusting that you're going to be learning the lessons that are going to propel you towards the results that you want.
The belief that success is inevitable 23:40
One thing that we talk an awful lot about in Macros 101, and something that has been so transformational in my life, is the belief that my success is inevitable. When you can really, really, really, really get to the place where you 110% know that you are going to achieve the goal. You don't know what it's gonna look like, you don't know what the timetable is going to be. But you can really just like trust and know and believe that you are going to hit that goal. I promise you, you're going to hit it. The problem that most people have is, they don't believe it. They doubt it. Some of them doubt it. And that part of you that doubts it is not a bad part of you. It's a part that's trying to keep you safe. It's a part of you that has maybe been burned in the past because you've created attachment to a goal. And so it's trying to keep you safe from having the discouragement or the frustration of not achieving that goal. I saw this so pointedly in my business last year, we hit a big milestone in the business. And it was so funny because I was talking to Carley who is our integrator. She's essentially our project manager. And we've had this goal for like two or three years. It's been a goal for a very long time, and every year, I like to set the goal again. And like two years in a row, we haven't hit it. And that's okay because I'm not attached to it. I 110% believed that it was going to happen, that it was going to take the time that it needed to take and that it would unfold exactly how it was supposed to unfold. And I remember talking to Carley early this year, being like, it's gonna happen this year. Like, it's, it's gonna happen, like, I can just trust. So every part of my body just believed that it was going to happen this year. And right before we hit this milestone, I just mentioned to Carley I was like, it's so crazy. Because we're like, I'm almost not even like, it's like, it almost took away some of the shock of the fact that we're going to hit the goal, because I believed that we were going to hit the goal for so long. And when we hit the goal, it was like, Yeah, like I knew that was going to happen. I knew we were going to get there. I didn't know what it was going to look like, I didn't know how long it was going to take. But everything in my body knew that we were going to get to that goal. We did. But had I had that attachment to that goal and the first year I said it, and it didn't happen. And the next year that I said it, and it didn't happen. And I told myself all these things like I can't do it, it's never gonna happen. It's not possible. I'm not worthy enough, Who am I to be setting this goal? Like, if I told myself all of those things, if I had created attachment around this goal, I would not be at the place where I've achieved it. Because that's why we push it away, and we quit, we get frustrated, and we get discouraged. And we don't do it anymore. So for me, I've just in this last year, I've really been able to see in my own life, how releasing attachment has only made me more successful in hitting my goals.
One way that you can start to release attachment 26:45
And so I'm going to come back to how we can start applying this. One way that you can start to release attachment is focus on the what and let go of the how and let go of the when. And just start to practice trusting. Now that's easy to say on paper. And some of you guys like yeah, but how? How do I do that? Well, just even starting to think about this is a great first step. Obviously coaching is gonna help you to work through some of these things, that this is something that you know, we do we coach through this type of stuff. But I want to make sure that the podcast is really actionable too. So even if you are just sitting there and just thinking about this, and even maybe doing a brain dump of what attachment you've created in your mind around the goals that you set in the past and starting to think about how can I create a new relationship with this goal? How can I create this relationship of like, I want to achieve this goal but if I don't, it doesn't mean anything about it, it only means whatever meaning I give it to it, only whatever meaning I create around it. And that release of attachment is going to change everything for you.
No. 3 Get rid of the comparisonitis 27:58
Okay, beautiful. The number three mindset, the last one is you've got to get rid of the comparisonitis. We've got to get rid of this idea that we can measure ourselves up against other people. And I get it, this is a human trait. Friends, we have evolved over millions of years with our brain understanding comparisons, like that's how our brain measures things is it compares it against other things. So it's a very normal human phenomenon. There's nothing wrong with comparison. The problem is when comparison starts to impact your journey. When comparison impacts how you feel about yourself, when comparison impacts how you see your journey, then that comparison only starts to drag you down. I was listening to a podcast called the First Name Basis. It's by Jasmine Bradshaw. And it is about race and culture and children's education around race topics. So like totally not in the fitness realm. But she said a quote that was meant for talking about race. But when I heard it, I was like, dang! that applies like so much to a fitness journey as well. And it was from a woman named Stephanie Koons. And she said, the road you take depends on the geography in which you live. And when I heard that, it struck me so hard because I try to like to communicate this idea to my clients, that when we start to try and compare our journey to somebody else's, it's like trying to compare two completely separate journeys. It's trying to compare, like if you're trying to go from California to Texas, and someone else is trying to go from California into New York, your routes are going to look totally different. So if you start to compare each other, it's just not it's not an accurate comparison. And so again, that quote was “The roads you take depend on the geography in which you live.” And it's such a good reminder that we cannot compare our journey to somebody else because we live in different places. The geography that we are traversing is different. What you need to learn and the time it's going to take you may be completely different from somebody who may on surface value, you know, feel like it's like your similar journey, maybe you both have 30 pounds to lose. But you guys are starting in different places. You're starting in different geographies, you have different things that you have to get over. But there's no way it's like trying to compare apples and oranges.
Keep your eyes on the finish line (goal) 30:39
So say it with me, there is no ahead ,there is no behind in your journey, there is just your journey, there is just the next step that is in front of you. And when we can put our eyes on our own paper, stop looking around and comparing ourselves to everybody else, then you can focus instead on what's the next step. When I was in, I think I was in elementary school. I was in elementary school, I was really fast. When I was in elementary school, I played soccer, and I did track and I was like, super fast. And then I went through puberty. Kind of late. I was like, age 14, I went through puberty, and I got hips, and it slowed me down. I remember my mom saying that she's like, yep, you got hips. And then I saw that I just was not like the fastest anymore because of my hips. But when I was in elementary school, and I was running track, I remember our coach telling us to remind us that because I would do the 440, that was my run. So 440 is like a little bit more than a lap. And it's, it's, it's kind of like the longest sprint, right? Like, it's not a 40 yard sprint, it's not a mile run, it's just like one lap, and it's run pretty fast, but anyway, you don't really need to know anything about the 440 to understand the analogy. So I ran the 440 and my coach was saying as you are running, the worst thing that you can do is and the thing that's gonna slow you down is to look at your competitors. Like by trying to look side to side to see where everybody's at, that's only going to slow you down. Instead, he told me to keep my eyes on the finish line. And to just like sight line, the finish line and then just run straight to the finish line and just not look side to side at what my competitors were doing because it would slow me down. It is the same thing in your journey. Keep your eyes on the finish line. Keep your eyes on the results that you want. Stop looking at everyone else's papers, stop looking side to side, it is only slowing you down.
Is comparison actually helping me to get the results that I want? 32:48
And here's why. Because what often happens is when we start to compare ourselves, we find ourselves lacking. Oh, it's like it's happening faster for her. Oh, she's lost more weight than me. Oh, she can lift heavier than me. Oh, she got a faster time, like whatever it is. Typically, when we start doing this comparison, we find places where we are lacking. And no one, well, okay, I hate to make very broad sweeping generalizations. Very few people look around and are like this is taking longer for me, I'm so glad about that. Or I'm going slower than everybody else that just makes me so happy. And it just makes me want to keep going. Most people like this are taking longer for me. She's seen much more progress than me. And what does it make you want to do? It makes you want to quit. And if you quit, that's literally the only way that you can guarantee that you will not get the results that you want. Literally, quitting is like the only way to guarantee that that happens. And so is there like a part of some of us who like to have a little bit of competitive streak or it's like if we measure ourselves against somebody that actually does motivate us to some level to like reach it, sure. But I think most people overestimate their ability to do that. And that's why we compare because on some level, we think, oh, if I compare and I find something lacking, then that's going to motivate me. And I would really start to question that. Is it really motivating to you? Is it actually shown to be motivating to you because for most people when they feel behind, when they feel like someone else is doing better than them, it's not actually motivating to them it's really demotivating and it causes them to quit. So really question that idea of “is comparison actually helping me to get the results that I want?” for most people, I would say we could do way less of looking at other people's papers and way more at focusing on what is before us and what we need to do in our journey because again, you like the roads you take are dependent on the geography in which you live, and the geography in which you live is going to be completely unique from anybody else. Nobody else has the exact same geography as you. Nobody else has the exact same body type, the exact same lifestyle, the exact same goals, the exact same situation, nobody has the same exact thing. So why the heck would their process and their progress look exactly like yours? So number three is just to get rid of that comparison, catch it when it happens. Notice that it's like a natural thing that our brain tends to catch it when it happens and shift out of it. Run your own race, your race is your race.
Okay, so those are the three shifts that are gonna make this process easy for you. Number one, asking yourself the question, how could this be more fun. Number two, releasing attachment to your goals. And number three, getting rid of the comparison. And I promise you if you start to implement these things into your journey, they're going to start subtle and small shifts. Remember, when we change the things that we think about the things that we think about change, when they change the mindset around these things, it changes your actions. And when you change your actions, you change your results. So if you want to get new results, you have to backtrack it to what are the things you need to know, do feel, think, believe about yourself about the process about how you can be successful to be able to then do the actions to get the results that you want. Three things. Pick one, don't pick all three, pick one, pick one that stood out to you the most that you feel like would make the most difference in your journey right now. And mull it over, Think it over. Think about how you can start to apply it to your journey and see what a difference it makes for you. I would love it. If as you're doing that you post on Instagram or on Facebook, and you tag me. Let me know which one you're planning on working on. Let me know how it's shifting things for you. And what's coming up for you as you start to think about these things. Don't just give it the cursory oh, yeah, I already know that Amber, I already know that I learned that a long time ago. Okay, cool. But just because you learn something doesn't mean you're actually applying it. So dump out your cup. Thinking that your cups are full, dump out your cup, and open up and ask yourself a question like, is like any of these three? Is there more that I can be doing? Because I will tell you what, like, I don't think any of us are ever done with any of these. Okay, I still work through releasing attachment to my goals. I still work through like comparison, I still work through making sure that I'm making things fun. This is not like a finish line thing. It's an evolution. And there's always a next step, and there is always a next layer. So if you're just kind of brushing this off like oh, yeah, yeah, I've already done this work. I would encourage you to go a little deeper. Because for most of us, there's another level. And that's what makes this process so darn fun. That wraps up this episode of Biceps After Babies Radio. I'm Amber, now go out and be strong because remember my friend, you can do anything.
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