387: How to Actually Believe Change is Possible: Rewiring Your Mind with Brad Bizjack

Introduction 

You're listening to Biceps After Babies Radio Episode 387.

Hello and welcome to Biceps After Babies Radio. A podcast for ladies who know that fitness is about so much more than pounds lost or PR's. It's about feeling confident in your skin and empowered in your life. I'm your host Amber Brueseke, a registered nurse, personal trainer, wife and mom of four. Each week my guests and I will excite and motivate you to take action in your own personal fitness as we talk about nutrition, exercise, mindset, personal development and executing life with conscious intention. If your goal is to look, feel and be strong and experience transformation from the inside out, you my friend are in the right place. Thank you for tuning in. Now, let's jump into today's episode.

Hey, hey, hey, welcome back to another episode of Biceps After Babies Radio. I'm your host, Amber Brueseke, and this is a part two episode. So if you listened to last week, you know I've been talking with my very good friend, Brad Bizjak, about mindset. We talked about the inner critic and why we keep getting in our own way. If you haven't listened to episode one, I highly recommend going back and listening to that episode first, and then you can come back and continue on in the conversation with this conversation. Because in this episode, we are getting really tactical, and Brad breaks down three keys to actually change your emotional state in the moment. And spoiler alert, it's not just think positive. Okay, we're talking about the language you use, where you direct your focus, and what you're doing with your body. And then we also get into something that a lot of us struggle with, which is believing that the change that we want is actually possible. Not just knowing intellectually that it could happen, but actually believing it in our bones. And so Brad walks through some of the blocks that get in the way of that belief, and then how we start to remove them. 

Now, as you're listening, if you're thinking, okay, but how do I actually do this? What does it look like in my own life? That is exactly why I'm going to be joining Brad and doing his five-day success accelerator challenge. It's a free challenge. It starts next week, October 20th, and it's where he's going to help us take these concepts and start to look at them in our own life. And he actually is going to make them real for you, and helping you to start to discover what blocks are maybe keeping you stuck. You'll start to identify your own limiting beliefs, your value conflicts, and some of that subconscious stuff that's getting in your way. So if you want to come join, I will be doing the challenge. I did it last year. I'll do it again this year, because like I said before, there's always more work to be done, and there's always more layers to kind of unpeel back. So I'm excited about it. So bicepsafterbabies.com/success, and you can come join Brad and I and hang out five days, and start to uncover some of those things that are keeping you stuck, and keeping you playing small in your life. All right, let's jump back into the interview with Brad Bizjack.

Amber B 02:58

All right, I am back with my good friend, part two with Brad Bizjack. We are talking all things mindset, all things success, how we can get out of our own darn way, and actually create the success that we want in our lives. So if you haven't listened to part one, highly recommend going back. We started there last week with part one, and now we're going to dive into part two. You ready, Brad? 

Brad Bizjack 03:19

Oh, I'm ready. Let's do this.

Amber B 03:20

Okay, so let's start with actually, this was like a little like open loop that you did on last week's episode. So we're going to close that loop now, and start with talking about three keys to controlling your state. You dropped that, and you said we could come back to it, and I wrote it down, so we're coming back to it. So start with that. 

Brad Bizjack 03:37

Awesome, let's do it. And just to provide a little bit of background, what we're kind of talking about is the bridge between how do we deal with uncomfortable emotions, and where do they fit in, and how do we actually elevate how we feel. And we kind of talked about how there's not this, we don't want to just deny uncomfortable emotions. We want to feel them, process them, and there's a healthy way to do that in the first episode. But then once we get through that process, and we get to the regulate part of that acronym, how do we actually do it? And I don't think a lot of people recognize that state is something that you actually do. Emotional state is something you actually do. So let's define what an emotion is. Emotion is energy in motion, right? That's how I would define emotion. And you've probably heard the idea that like attracts like. You've probably heard if you want to attract a great tribe, you got to raise your vibe, right? Your vibe attracts your tribe, right? And so like attracts like. Well, I want you to think about how would you current or how would you feel if you accomplish your biggest health and wellness goals? What emotion would be present in your life if you accomplish your biggest health and wellness goals? Just think about it right now. And a lot of people would say happiness, relief. 

Amber B 04:52

Confidence. That's a huge one.

Brad Bizjack 04:53

Confidence. Confidence is a big one, right? And it's really interesting. It's really interesting because all of those are states. And so if you think that those that goal is going to bring you those emotions, I actually just kind of played a trick on you because those emotions are the things that we need to live in now if we want to take the actions to yield that result. I talked in the last episode about how all of life is cause and effect. And if you obsess over the effect and give your power away to the effect, you forget the cause, right? So if we forget the cause, we can't influence the effect. So an example of this is the effect is your physical body. The way your body is right now, that is the effect of the inner game that you've been experiencing. But when you say, my life needs to change before I feel confidence. When I need to lose this weight before I feel a sense of confidence or I need to, before I feel a sense of peace or whatever it is, then we're giving our power away to that goal. That goal will make us happy. And if we give all our power away to that goal that we think will make us happy, then we have very limited power to do something about it. And so what, so we forget the cause, our personal power, our emotions, our energy, our vibe, all that stuff. And if we have low energy, let's say that we're in a state of anxiety, low energy, low emotion, energy in motion, we're more likely to take limiting behaviors and therefore from limiting behaviors, not get the effect that we really want. And so your external world is just a mirror for your internal world.

So the question then becomes, how do you change it? Right? Which is what you're answering. I just wanted to provide a little bit of context. And so confidence, that's something you can feel right now, literally immediately. And I'll show you how to do it in the next four minutes. It's really, really simple. There are three keys to changing how you feel at any moment in time. I'm going to start with the least impactful of the three, and then go to the most impactful, just because it's the easiest and quickest to change. The third most impactful way to change your state is to change the language that you use. Please write this down. It's so important. The words you use to describe your experience literally become your experience. Words carry meaning. So for example, if I'm feeling so overwhelmed, oh my God, I'm so overwhelmed right now. I'm going to feel it. It's going to be incredibly heavy. But if it's the same circumstance, and instead I'm a wee bit perturbed, right? That's a very different state, very different energy, right? If my back's always against a wall, that's very different than I feel like I'm floating on a cloud. If I'm furious instead of I'm fascinated, it's a very different… This, by the way, in NLP is called transformational vocabulary. It is every single word in the human language has a consequence. So if you take a look at how you describe your painful situations, and you elevate that language a little bit, you will notice you feel less poor about whatever you're experiencing. That's probably the least impactful, still impactful, but the least impactful of the three. 

The second is your focus. Wherever focus goes, energy flows, right? And it's really interesting because when you obsess… Everyone's had this experience where they obsess on something that hasn't happened, right? I think it was Mark Twain that said, I had all these worries in my life and none of them came true or something like that. So let's use an example. Let's say that you have dinner reservations with your partner at 7pm at Bennigan's. I don't know why, but we're going to go with Bennigan's. And so you have dinner reservations at 7pm at Bennigan's. 

Amber B 08:40

What is Bennigan's? 

Brad Bizjack 08:41

Maybe a Midwest thing.

Amber B 08:42

Is that a Midwest thing? 

Brad Bizjack 08:43

Okay. Here we go. In-N-Out Burger. 

Amber B 08:44

In-N-Out. There we go. I'm on board. Okay, got it. Except that you would never make reservations to In-N-Out. You just show up. 

Brad Bizjack 08:52

What's a place you'd make reservations for ever? 

Amber B 08:54

Oh, what's one that I would make reservations for? Oh my gosh. Let's go to like BJ's. 

Brad Bizjack 08:59

BJ's. Awesome. BJ's. Never been to BJ's, but we'll go with BJ's. So you have reservations with your husband at BJ's at 7pm. Okay. And it's 6.55pm. You're at the restaurant. He hasn't texted. He hasn't called. He's not there yet. Think about what emotion you'd feel. Right. Just probably. Okay. It'll be here any minute. Go ahead. 

Amber B 09:24

I was going to say annoyed.

Brad Bizjack 09:25

Annoyed. Okay. A little annoyed. Right. 7pm shows up. Hasn't texted. Hasn't called. And he's not there. What do you feel? 

Amber B 09:35

A little bit like, uh, okay. Like it's time. Like antsy. Maybe antsy is the word.

Brad Bizjack 09:41

Antsy. Okay. 7.15pm. No text, no call. You call him. His phone's off. 

Amber B 09:47

Ugh, I would start like, where is he now? Now we're starting to like get a little bit worried.

Brad Bizjack 09:55

Uh-hmm. 7.30pm. No text, no call. Phone's off. 

Amber B 09:59

Now, now it's like a little panic starts to set in. Like what's going on? 

Brad Bizjack 10:05

Probably followed by different actions. You might be calling. 

Amber B 10:08

Calling people. Yeah. Calling the hospital. Yeah. Calling family. Like trying to figure out what's life 316 him. When was the last time we saw his phone? 

Brad Bizjack 10:19

8pm. You leave. Hasn't texted. Hasn't called. Phone is off.

Amber B 10:23

Well, now I'm like full on thinking the worst has happened. 

Brad Bizjack 10:27

What's the worst? What's the story? 

Amber B 10:29

Oh. Like got in a car accident, dead in the bottom of a Lake. 

Brad Bizjack 10:32

Yep. Okay. 8.30pm. You're at home. No text, no call. Phone is off. 

Amber B 10:39

My gosh. I mean, now we're calling, like calling the police, like trying to backtrack. When was the last time anybody saw him? 

Brad Bizjack 10:48

There's deep panic and terror. Now how you answer these questions will tell me a lot about your marriage, by the way. 

Amber B 10:54

Celebration. Happy. 

Brad Bizjack 10:55

Yeah. Right. So a lot of people will say angry and some it's either angry or they're in a ditch. One of the two. Right.

Amber B 11:03

Yeah. 

Brad Bizjack 11:03

But in this case, like, right. Angry or excuse me, in a ditch. So it's 8.31. You get a phone call, babe. I'm so sorry. Surgery went long. It was just a, such a hard day. I'm bringing pizzas home. I am so, so, so sorry. I know this made you feel like I was dead in a ditch somewhere, but I'm on the way home right now. What do you feel? 

Amber B 11:24

Oh, relieved. Relieved. Yeah. 

Brad Bizjack 11:27

So relieved. Right. So the reason I bring this up is because where focus goes, energy flows. He was always just fine, but because of where we focus, we felt different emotions. Right. And it was built up over time. And so there are things in your life that you are focused on or have been hyper-focused on for a long time that are creating an emotional state that you don't want. And it's not serving you. Right. So, and here's something that we can actually do to make this real and actually serve you because there's three patterns of focus that most people don't recognize they have. And we all do everything I'm going to go through in these three. We all do all of them. It's just, where do you tend to live emotionally? Right. So pattern number one, do you tend to focus more, and this is rhetorical, tend to focus more on what you appreciate or what's missing from your life? Right. Just to everyone listening, just think about where you tend to live. We all do both, but where do you tend to live? What you appreciate or what's missing? Pattern number two, do you tend to focus more on what you can control or can't control? Right. We all do both. Where do you tend to live? Can or can't control. Pattern number three, do you tend to focus more in the past, the present, or the future? I'll do all three. Where do you tend to live? Right.

This is an emotional recipe without people realizing it. If you're focused on what's missing from your life, what you cannot control in the past, you just found depression and sadness. If you're focused on what's missing from your life, what you cannot control in the present, you found anger and frustration. Missing, can't control the future. You just found anxiety, worry, and overwhelm. That's where they live. Right. It's an emotional recipe of where you're directing your focus. Right. And with those comes some language associated with them when you focus on those things. But if you focus on what you appreciate, what you can control in the past, you found nostalgia. Appreciate, can't control in the present, you find happiness and joy. Appreciate, can't control in the future, and you find excitement. Now, some of you are focused on what's missing from your life, what you can control in the future, and you're what I call royally screwed. I'm just kidding. You're not. But the point I'm trying to make is that it's just pattern. It's just direction of where we're directing our mind. And every single thing carries with it an emotion. Because wherever you focus, you will feel that energy. So you change one of those two things.

Your life changes very quickly. You change both of those two things. Life changes like that overnight. But there's one that's more powerful than all of them. And that is the number one way to change your emotions is your physiology, your body. Right. You know, I mean, like Amber and I are both basically addicted to exercise. 

Amber B 14:07

Yeah. 

Brad Bizjack 14:07

Right. 

Amber B 14:08

Yeah. In like the healthiest way possible, right? 

Brad Bizjack 14:11

In the healthiest way possible. Yes. Like it is like, it's just my meditation.

Amber B 14:17

Yeah. 

Brad Bizjack 14:18

Because it changes my state. But literally, you've had these experiences where you don't feel like working out. And then five minutes in, you feel completely different. Yeah. It's a different biochemistry. And so I want to plant this idea that you don't feel anxiety. You do it. Now watch this. Just try this on. You don't have to take it. Try it on. If you put your body right now, unless you're driving a car, please be smart. In a state of anxiety or worry, you probably do something with your head. It's probably looking down. Shoulders are probably rounded. Breathing is probably pretty shallow. Energy is going down, right? And if you intensify it, it gets worse. There's a tension in your body and your hands are covering your face and your eyes and the energy is going very, very down aggressively. But if you put your body in a state of excitement, right? And you're about to see your face, T. Swift's about to go on stage. Then you're just vibing, right? The energy is flowing up. Your shoulders are back. Your voice is louder. You're breathing faster. You are doing excitement. So you can literally, in a moment of radical intensity, change how you feel. So there's that one single podcast, one single call that I get on where I'm not doing burpees or high knees before I do it. And the reason is not because I'm silly. I am silly. But the reason is because I'm intentionally elevating my state. And so the question then becomes, because it's not just about doing jumping jacks and high knees, that may not serve you. What matters is you identify what would you feel if you, what do you think you would feel if you had the goal? What words would I need to use? What would I need to be focused on? And what would my body need to be doing so that I could live in that emotional state right now? And then you will notice you take naturally different actions. The inner critic is different. And then you tend to get the results so much faster. 

Amber B 16:17

So good. I think one thing that I'm becoming present to is how, when you understand this, there, there can be a tendency to like want to skip through some of the parts and like get to this part. I think that's why you, when you started with RULER, last episode and you know, you talked about like, we can't get to the shifting of the state, the regulation of it without going through those other pieces. But I can see a lot of people like learning about you, learning from you, listening to this and being like, Oh, well, I just got to like shift my state. And then that's where you get like that toxic positivity from, right? It's like a toxic focus. Um, instead of actually doing the pre required work before you get to the regulation, the regulation, like it's, it's a fun part. It's like the, where are we going to feel better? We're going to like, you know, move into a new state and move. 

Brad Bizjack 17:07

Amber's dancing right now, by the way.

Amber B 17:08

Yeah. Like that's the fun part. But I think, um, I, I just, I really, what I'm present to in my understanding of this. And, and I was telling Brad, um, in between podcasts episode, uh, that I, none of this stuff is new to me, right? Like I've heard all of this stuff, mostly from Brad, like before. So none of it is new. Um, and I'm starting to become present to places where I still have not yet applied it. And that goes back to just because I've heard Brad say it, just because I, Brad was my, my mindset coach for six months, just because I've heard him say it to me and we had conversations about it doesn't mean that I am actually applying it. So, um, I guess what I'm, what I'm pointing to is I think I had focused a lot on the regulation and you can do that from a place where you haven't done the pre required work to like move through it. And then that's where the toxic part of it comes in. Um, so anyway, that was, that was my aha as I was listening to Brad.

Brad Bizjack 18:05

And there are moments, right. Where sometimes you got to skip to the good part. Like if I'm about to go on stage and I like, and something happens in my life where there's like this deep, tough thing that I need to deal with, I'm not going to go on stage and express, right. I may need to elevate my emotions. But the point is the point with all of this is whatever you avoid controls you. And most people go there entire life, avoiding fears, getting stimulated or past traumas or pains, getting stimulated or limiting beliefs, getting stimulated. And that controls you. And we have to be able to heal those things. And we can't just skip to the fun part. We got to be able to go through the process of over, overcoming those. 

Amber B 18:50

Yeah, no, that's really good. Um, whatever you avoid controls you. I think that's, that's amazing. That goes back to that. Um, I love Michael Singer's book to the entire soul of the thorn that we just try to build something around rather than doing the deep work of like just removing it. Uh, and that works so much better in the long run. Um, can you talk to me? So one of the things that I work with my clients on, and I know you work with your clients on is just believing that the success or the result that you want is possible. And a lot of times I have women who struggle with one, even defining what it is that they want, because they've never allowed themselves to play around in the playground of, I can just want something because I want it and I want it. And that's fine. Um, cultural programming with a lot of women feels like we have to justify the things that we want, that we have to put everybody else's wants and needs before our own. And so a lot of women really struggle with even defining or determining what their goal is or what they even desire or want. Um, and then, you know, from there, it's like, okay, if we can even get you to this place of dreaming, we can get you to this place of, of what do I want? Then that, the inner critic starts to go, well, like, is that even possible for you to be able to do it? Uh, so will you kind of speak to that part of the inner critic and we know why it happens because it's trying to protect us and it's unknown and unfamiliar and all of those good things, but dang it, how do we get past that to be able to go after our dreams and our goals? 

Brad Bizjack 20:10

Yeah, there's, do you have seven days? I can ramble on this one too, Amber. Um, but let's start with the idea of identifying the dream, right? A lot of people, when they say they have a lack of motivation, it's not that they have a lack of motivation, that they're lazy or unmotivated. It's that they have really poor goals and most people are so sick of failing that they lower their standard and they settle for mediocrity because they base it on what society tells them they can have. They tell, they base it on what their spouse agrees with them on and only what their spouse agrees with them on. They set it based on what their parents say or what their boss says. And a lot of people will say, well, I'm afraid of dreaming bigger. I'm afraid to go after what I really want. No, you're not. You're afraid of the past happening again. That's what you're afraid of. And the past becomes the future when you live there. So you, by the very act of lowering your bar because you're afraid of the past happening again, you're living in the past, therefore recreating it because it's what you're focused on and wherever focus goes, big breath, energy flows, right? So all this being said, we first, one of the greatest steps to breaking through this and believing it's possible is to actually claim what it is that you really want. And so my question to you is what would you go after if you had three times more courage and three times more energy and you'll identify it, right? The second piece of this to allow that to sink in is that here's what's amazing. It doesn't matter if you hit the goal and this to all of my type A's, I am type A, okay? So all my type A's out there, type B's are like, oh, phew, right? Type A's are like, screw you, man, no way. But this is so important. This is a practice in detachment. Detachment means that my worth has nothing to do with the outcome, right? I'm solid as a human, my character, because no goal or achievement will ever make you more worthy than you already are, ever. And so we put this dream or this goal in this like vice grip. I think you were at a conference with me, Amber, when I heard this metaphor, but it's kind of like how we need to be is kind of like if we're holding a baby bird in our hands, right? A lot of times the type B's are like, if you imagine a baby bird in your hands, just like letting the bird fall to the ground, it's never going to get its strength and stability to fly away. Type A's when they're attached, what they do is they squeeze their hands together and crush the bird. 

Amber B 22:39

Control, control, control, control.

Brad Bizjack 22:42

Right, exactly. But it's more about just providing the supportive platform for the dream to take flight. It's not doing nothing. It's committing to doing everything that you possibly can to make the goal happen. And even if it doesn't, that's cool. I have missed almost every single goal I have set for the last seven years. Almost every single one. We're doing good, right? It's important to recognize this. And so we want to set a dream that inspires us, that raises our energy. And we'll go more into this in day one of our challenge in way more detail and help with this and help you identify what yours are, exactly what yours are. But the purpose of a goal isn't to achieve it. It's to become the person capable of achieving. It's become the person that raises their energy to find the creativity to go and make it happen. So all this being said, that's step one and two, right? Decide what you really want to detach from the outcome. Now that's easier said than done. That's why the challenge exists next week. But what we also need to do is get to the next step, which is believing it's possible. Now over the last couple episodes, we've talked about a couple of things that will really help with this, right? If you are in an elevated state that decreases the amount of limitation that you hear playing from that inner roommate in your head, right? 

So we need to elevate our state. That's number one. But most people don't recognize the subconscious forces going on behind the scenes that are preventing them from believing it's possible. Your entire life is controlled by invisible forces. Gravity, if you have too much of it, you're crushed. If you have too little of it, you fly away. If love, right? Love is an invisible force. Wars have been started over love. Well, your beliefs and your values are also invisible forces controlling your life. So if you have a belief, let's say you have the greatest goal in the world. I want to achieve X, Y, and Z by X date. And you're very clear. It excites you. It's amazing. But you have this belief that says it's never going to happen, right? Or I'm a failure, or I'm big boned, or I can't stay consistent, or people like me never achieve that. Well, then it feels like it's two steps forward, three steps back. There's an inner conflict going on. So that would be an example of a limiting belief. And we can go deeper into beliefs and how we remove them in just a moment, if you'd like, because that's one of the greatest keys. You have to remove your limiting beliefs if you want to believe that it's possible. 

The second thing you need to adjust is your values, and specifically the values in conflict. And what's a value? Your values are the targets of your life, right? And it's where you want to go emotionally. And a lot of people say I value family. That's true, but it's a means to what end? What emotion would you have if you were living your value of family? And there's two types of values. There's towards values, and there's away from values. Towards values are emotional states you want to live more in. Away from values are emotional states that you don't want to experience. There's pleasure and there's pain. And so let's use an example. Let's say that we value love and connection over health and vitality. Two very beautiful values, right? Both are amazing. Love and connection is valued over health and vitality. Well, let's say that your partner loves chicken wings four days a week, and you deeply want to be connected to your partner. Even though you still value health and vitality, it is less important to you than love and connection, so you eat the chicken wings four days a week. The opposite can be true too, right? If health and vitality, for example, is valued at the top of your list and below that is love and connection, you will then find new creative ways to be in connection and in love with people without sacrificing your health and vitality. 

And so most people don't recognize that they don't even know what they value, which is why decision making is so hard for them. When you know what you value, you can just make a decision like that. You know. But if you don't know what you value, you're always going back and forth on things. At the same time, let's say that you value health, vitality, and success very highly. And at the same time, you value avoiding rejection or judgment. And so let's say that you're at a restaurant and you're making a decision on, do I get the salad or the cheeseburger? And there's nothing wrong with either, by the way, right? But just let's say that you're making a decision and you are deeply afraid of being judged, you will order whatever the group, whatever is closer to what the group orders. Because avoiding judgment is valued just as much as health and vitality, but they're not equal because we'll do more to avoid pain than gain pleasure. So even though you value vitality, you also value avoiding judgment and you'll make a decision that's not in line with your goals. So most people don't recognize that these are in conflict and this gets in the way of them achieving their results, right? There's so much more to this than what it takes to feel a value. 

But the whole point of all of this is that when you know what you want, step one, you're detached from the outcome, step two, and you've removed the subconscious patterns getting in the way of you going after it. That's where there's an opportunity to plug in and recondition new beliefs that it's possible. But most people don't want to do that work because it means facing the stuff that created those beliefs to begin with. So there's an avoidance and they think if I just force it enough times, it's actually going to happen. But this is where people start and stop, start and stop, start and stop, start and stop over and over and over again. And so we need to do the work on that stuff. And that's what makes it possible for results to actually happen.

Amber B 28:43

So good. Yeah. The values thing. I mean, that was something a little aside. Brad and I just got back from a vacation where we hung out with a bunch of a group of friends and we were on the boat and Brad, you know, bringing Brad just can't help but like, you know, we're talking about, I don't know, kids and stuff. And Brad just can't help but like coach. And so this was something that we dove into is like this, the difference between away from values and towards values and how much, uh, really shifting in towards those towards values and really making them something that means, something you can really create a shift in your life. And I had the realization for myself that I, I create a lot of my values based off of what I don't want and that, uh, that moving away from versus what I, what I do want to create. And so that's been really beautiful since I've gotten back from this vacation, I've done a lot of like processing and a lot of work of, of saying, okay, I focus so much on what I don't want, but if I, what if I focus on what I do want and spend some time journaling and processing through that? So it's, I mean, it's so fun that it like showed up in our conversation again, because it's just like the world and universe just re re like teaching me what it is that I, that I need to know. Um, okay. So determine what you want, which I find is hard. Do you find that harder for women than men? 

Brad Bizjack 30:01

I find that, I mean, historically I've worked with mostly women, 98.5% of our client base is women. Um, but in both groups, what I have found as a consistent pattern is that women have historically said, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know more. And they've started to believe that they don't know when really all they're looking for is certainty that this is the right thing. Um, and so I think deep down everyone knows because if there's anything you dislike, that means if that wasn't there, there would be something that you do like. 

Amber B 30:32

Yeah.

Brad Bizjack 30:33

Right. So everyone knows we just need to identify what that actual thing is. And there's actual simple process to make that happen.

Amber B 30:40

Yeah. So what you want detached from it, easier said than done. That's I've done a lot of work in that area. Uh, I feel like I'm a lot better than I used to be. Uh, and then focus on removing some of the blocks that are in the way of, of getting to that. Uh, and then, and then once we remove them, then we can replace them.

Brad Bizjack 30:56

Yep. 

Amber B 30:56

Did I get it? 

Brad Bizjack 30:57

Yeah. Yep. A lot of people want to jump to believing it's possible. Right?

Amber B 31:00

Yeah. Yeah. Before doing the steps to remove it. 

Brad Bizjack 31:03

Notice the pattern, right? With states, same thing. 

Amber B 31:06

Right. That's what I'm noticing. 

Brad Bizjack 31:07

Same thing. We got to do the inner work. And this is what most people avoid. They avoid the inner work and that is why they don't actually change. But if you want a different fruit, you can go to an apple tree all day long and tape a pear on there. It's not going to be an apple. You got to, or it's not going to be a pear. You got to dig up the apple tree and plant a pear tree. Um, yeah, so there, there's a strategy in front from a very high level, removing beliefs. And this is what we'll focus on a lot of next week. Removing beliefs is really about seeing the consequence in them and what happens if life keeps going this way. People will either tell me, well, I don't have limiting beliefs. I'm like, well, that is a limiting belief. Number one, everyone does. And they say, I don't know what my beliefs are. And if you identify the areas where you're experiencing the most uncomfortable emotions, you will likely identify the belief that is going on beneath the surface that we need to remove. 

Amber B 32:04

It reminds me of the Christmas Carol. It's like, you got to like play out. If I continue to tell myself this or believe this, and I play it out over the next 10, 15 years, then you get to see what your life will be like. That's very motivating for people to change, right? Ebenezer Scrooge finally decided to change because he saw what his life would be like if he continued on that path. Uh, and I think that, um, you know, as we realize that the choices that we make and the beliefs that we hold have consequences, we wake up to, maybe I want to do something different with my life. 

Brad Bizjack 32:37

Three neuro-associative conditioning specialists. That's what they are. They're not ghosts. They're neuro-associative conditioning specialists. 

Amber B 32:43

Oh my gosh! I'm sure that's what the author was thinking, right? When they like patterned that, created those characters. Yeah. So good. Um, okay. You've talked about a couple of times about what you have going on next week. Will you just kind of share a little bit about what people can expect if they come and join you and I, I'll be there as well in not presenting. Don't expect me to be presenting. I will be there and I will be watching the replays. Very honestly, it's a little early for me, but I will be watching the replays. So will you speak a little bit about the success accelerator next week? 

Brad Bizjack 33:13

Sure. It's like an ice pick lobotomy in five days. No, I'm just kidding. 

Amber B 33:16

You're just really selling it. 

Brad Bizjack 33:18

Hahaha, really selling it. No. So, you know, I, I mentioned this in the last episode, but just, if you didn't listen to it, I, I, I've spoken over the last 13 years, so much about the subconscious forces that control your life, subconscious meaning under awareness, right? Things that you don't know are going on and what you think is a limiting belief by its very nature. If you've identified it, you can change it. But so my point is that the beliefs that you think are limiting beliefs probably aren't actually the limiting beliefs that you have going on, right? Cause you would have done something about it. Um, so most people don't know what's getting in their way. They, they've tried to change their behaviors for such a long time, but no matter what they do, they can't seem to stick with it. And they don't know why that is. There's a very simple reason why that is. They've, they understand that they should go after bigger goals, but they can't seem to identify what their goals are. And the very act of thinking about it brings up all these fears. There's all of the things about what's going on in society and all the fears and challenges you have in your own life. And I would speak on these things for a while for years, and it'd be very motivating and inspiring, but I recognize very quickly that if I don't give people an experience where they actually break their limiting beliefs and shift their values and identify exactly what they want out of life in a period of time, then change isn't going to happen. And we talked about this in the last episode. There's a very big difference between knowledge and knowing. 

And so I have a five-day challenge that starts on Monday. It has changed 75,000 lives from all over the world. It is essentially going through everything we've talked about in these two episodes and making it real for you. How do we actually do it? How do we actually shift the limiting beliefs, raise our emotions when life's throwing us curve balls with all the different nuances of life? And so we help you identify in the very first day what it is you truly want out of life in all aspects. Then on that same day, we help you identify how your mind is currently wired. What are the limiting beliefs, toxic thought patterns, values in conflict, limiting emotional patterns, limiting identities that are getting in the way of that coming true. And the rest of the week, we go to work on bridging that gap. And so the thing I love most about this is that it's holistic. So it's based on all of your life, not just health and wellness. It will help you with health and wellness as well. Say that five times fast. But it's really about identifying what success means to you and removing all the gunk in the subconscious mind getting in the way of that happening so that you have space to plant new empowering beliefs and recondition them. So the natural byproduct is success. Like we talked about today, all of life is cause and effect. The effect is how your life is. The cause is what's going on behind the scenes in the subconscious because your external world is just a mirror for your internal world. We change the subconscious, different roots, you get a different fruit. Change the cause, change the effect. So that's what we're going to do in the five days. Highly recommend that you're there. Amber's got the link. It's going to be a really, really beautiful, powerful experience.

Amber B 36:16

Yes, I'm really excited. I did it last year. It was so good. I'm going to do it again this year. Uhm,  bicepsafterbabies.com/success is where you can go to get registered for the five-day challenge with Brad. We'll drop that in the show notes as well, but it's bicepsafterbabies.com/success.

Okay, Brad, any last words of wisdom, anything that's coming up for you that you feel like we've left, you want to tie a little bow on to right now? 

Brad Bizjack 36:41

I would just say what's really coming to me right now is I mentioned this in the last episode, I'll mention it again. You are not broken. There's nothing wrong with you. What's going on is just a, and it might feel that way sometimes. It's just patterns and patterns can be shifted. And so if you are sitting there going like this makes so much sense and I just need to figure out how to do it. I'm here to promise you something that you are made for so much more than what you're getting out of life right now. And there is a way to do it. But looking at what most of society is doing is not that way. If you look at what most of society is doing, most are broke, unhealthy, and completely overwhelmed. A few people have figured out how do we be successful in whatever we want to be successful in and wildly fulfilled and happy at the same time, not when we're successful. And that's what we're going to be going into next week. So you are made for more, you are not broken, and you're only one insight away from a radically different life. And you'll get a lot of those insights next week. 

Amber B 37:47

Can't wait. Thank you so much, Brad, for coming and sharing with the audience. So excited for next week and everything that happens once you start something, commit to it, and clean out all the gunk that is getting in the way of you actually achieving that. And you guys, I hired Brad as my own personal mindset coach, and I can really speak to your ability to be able to help people and find out what's getting in the way and help reprogram that. So very excited for next week. 

Brad Bizjack 38:19

Let's do it. 

Amber B 38:20

What a great two-part episode. Brad is such a genius, and I've gotten to hang out with him at different retreats. And I hung out with him at his house not that long ago with a bunch of our friends. And every time I do, he just has such insightful things to say, even in just like random conversation. So I love sharing him with you guys because he, like I said, he's a little bit of my secret weapon. I hired Brad as my own mindset coach, and we did a lot of really great work together to uncover some of the things that are blocking me from some of the goals that I have and some of the success that I want to be able to create in my own life, with my marriage, with my kids, with my business, and just in my own personal growth and development. I'm very committed to my own growth and development because I'm clear that as I grow and develop, I'm able to pour more into my clients and be able to help support their growth and development. And honestly, that's what gets me really excited to wake up and go to work every single day. So you can come join Brad and I at the Success Accelerator, bicepsafterbabies.com/success. And I can't wait to hang out with you there. Remember it starts next week, October 20th. That wraps up this episode of Biceps After Babies Radio. I'm Amber. Now go out and be strong because remember my friend, you can do anything. 

Outro

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