369: How to Track Your Macros The Right Way | Live Coaching Session

Introduction 

You're listening to Biceps After Babies Radio Episode 369.

Hello and welcome to Biceps After Babies Radio. A podcast for ladies who know that fitness is about so much more than pounds lost or PR's. It's about feeling confident in your skin and empowered in your life. I'm your host Amber Brueseke, a registered nurse, personal trainer, wife and mom of four. Each week my guests and I will excite and motivate you to take action in your own personal fitness as we talk about nutrition, exercise, mindset, personal development and executing life with conscious intention. If your goal is to look, feel and be strong and experience transformation from the inside out, you my friend are in the right place. Thank you for tuning in. Now, let's jump into today's episode.

Hey, hey, hey, welcome back to another episode of Biceps After Babies Radio. I'm your host, Amber Brueseke, and in today's episode, we have a real raw coaching moment from one of our MACROS 101 calls. And if you have ever felt like tracking your food or tracking macros is more of a burden, that it's something that you have to do rather than something that actually helps you, then this episode is for you. Because Anna came into this conversation with me feeling stuck. And maybe you can relate. Tracking had started to feel like pressure, like she was constantly being tested and judged, and she found herself swinging between two extremes, tracking every single thing to the gram, obsessing over accuracy, or throwing the towel incompletely when she couldn't be perfect. You know, if she couldn't do it right, why do it at all? And maybe that sounds familiar. Maybe you've felt this way too, that pull between wanting to be precise and then at the same time also feeling like tracking is exhausting. You know, one moment you're hyper-focused, determined to get every number right, and then the next you're overwhelmed thinking, oh my gosh, this is too much. I don't want to do this forever. But here's the thing. Tracking is not a pass-fail test. It's not about being perfect. It's about being honest. It's about gathering data. It's about seeing trends. And it's about using that information to make informed adjustments, just like a scientist running an experiment. So today, you're going to hear how Anna and I worked through this. You'll hear the exact questions I asked her that helped her shift her mindset. You'll see how we unpacked the resistance that she felt around tracking and the simple but really powerful shift that really changed how she viewed the whole process. Because my friend, at the end of the day, tracking is not about controlling food. It's about understanding it. It is a tool, not a test. And the more you learn to use with curiosity instead of judgment, the more freedom you'll feel, not just with food, but with yourself as well. So let's dive in because I have a feeling you're going to have some light bulb moments as you listen to this one.

Anna 03:00

Okay. Okay. Wow. This is everybody. Awesome coaching. I love it. I've learned so much from everybody. So I kind of snuck my way into a cut. I wasn't like, uh, uh, I don't know what it is. It's kind of funny to sort of looking back at retrospectively. I'm like, okay, let me just see what it cut a 20% cuts going to look like. Let me just see. And then just kind of just slide into it. I'm just going to do it tomorrow. See what happens. Experiment with it. But now, um, I'm in this position where, um, so I, it's funny talking about like rebel or strict or, you know, the men like where you fit in, in the spectrum. Um, I, I definitely feel like I fall in the, I don't want to, um, have macros ruin my life. I want it to fit into my life, which I think is balanced, but, um, I'm really pushing back against, um, um, writing all my macros down, especially when I know I'm going to go over, I can like, I'm like, okay, but I don't want to take any responsibility for any accountability or I just don't want to feel this sort of like the perfectionist side of like, uh, I failed, you know, kind of thing. 

Amber B 04:18

Yeah.

Anna 04:18

And so I'm actually now, but now the downside of it being on, like having this, uh, retrospect is now like, I'm like, I don't have a whole lot of data to kind of figure out where like, okay, well, I think, cause I think I actually increased in my calories. Um, as I got heavier, I, I definitely have built muscle, which I'm really happy about. And I did feel a hunger shift, um, and find myself, like I did record data and I did, you know, it's like there were still, you know, gaps, but I'm like, well, let's see what the data I have, what I can figure out. Um, and so, um, I guess my question is, is, um, well, okay. I guess I have two questions, but first question with the gaps in the data, do I just do the best collection I can with what I, what I did do to kind of experiment with the, with the cut of like what percentage of cut I should do? Um, especially with now that I'd like kind of seen more of an increase recently before my cut, did that make sense? 

Amber B 05:39

I think what you're asking, well, so in my mind, there's two questions here. Okay. It's like, what do I do with the incomplete data that I have and how do I make decisions from that? And then in my mind, the second question is what are we going to do moving forward to prevent this from happening again? 

Anna 05:54

Exactly. Exactly. That's exactly right. 

Amber B 05:56

Okay, cool. Yeah. And those are, those are different questions because, you know, at this point there's like gaps in the data and there's nothing that we can do about that. So now it's just like, okay, just doing your best with, and I think that's what you're kind of pointing to is like, I'm just kind of trying to fill it in. No, that probably, even though it says I only ate this many calories, I, there was probably a couple of days that I over that and take that into account when you're trying to make decisions from the data. Um, anything that's, that's really the best that you can do at this point. Um, and, and yeah, you just do your best with, with what you have. The bigger question in my mind is like, what's going to, what are we doing moving forward? Because now, now what, you know, you've experienced the consequences of this in your mind, this was better because you didn't have to acknowledge that you went over that day and that made you feel a little bit better in the moment, but you recognize that maybe it made you feel better in the moment, but in the long run, it actually hurt you a lot more. 

Anna 06:45

Yeah. Yeah. 

Amber B 06:46

So I think that's a helpful realization, right? It's like, it's like those natural consequences that we kind of start to wake up to that we weren't present to in the moment. Um, I think that that's helpful in, in making decisions moving forward. But I think that we can maybe forge a different relationship with what going over means, because in my mind, this is what I heard. And you can tell me if this lands for you, but it's like going over means I failed.

Anna 07:07

Yeah. Yeah. Like I, yeah, there is, I, there is like a perfectionist, like I'd never, I never get a star. I'm just, I'm not a star winner kind of person. Like, I mean like that's how that's, that's my perception of myself. Like I just, I haven't, I get, I get them very few. And if I know I'm not going to get a star, then I'm just like, not even going to bother. 

Amber B 07:28

Wait, you're saying that you don't get stars? 

Anna 07:30

I don't get stars.

Amber B 07:31

Why? 

Anna 07:31

I, um, I don't know. I think maybe, I don't know if it's the rebel in me that just like, I, I usually in between a hundred calories of my goal. So like if I'm at 1650, I'm either 17 or 15, you know, like 50. And so I just am like, Oh, I'm not a, I'm not a star person. That's just not who I am. 

Amber B 07:55

So help me. I'm trying to rectify this in my brain. Cause on one hand you're telling me I'm not a star person. It's not like, on the other hand, you're like, I'm like super perfectionistic. And if I go, so help me on that. 

Anna 08:08 

Okay. Um, I don't, I, well, I do, I have a lot of pushback where I'm like, I don't, I do a lot of estimating in my macro counting.

Amber B 08:17

Okay. 

Anna 08:18

And I figured that estimating is my baby step towards get, I don't know. I just, I just don't, I don't want to have to, I feel like if I'm estimating, I'm still getting data, but I don't want to have to sit and do log everything. And like, um, like create, I don't have a lot of meals that I create when I'm logging. I just kind of like, okay, I know that that's about like, I have two cups of cabbage. That's about three ounces of, you know, looking at it. And I, you know, every now and then I'll go back and measure just to kind of check myself. Um, but then for the most part, I'm just like, okay, I screenshot, you know, and I try and look at it and I estimate. And for me, like that, that part, part of me feels like, but I'm not, I'm kind of cheating. Aren't I? Like, I'm not really getting, um, the full benefit of macro counting if I'm estimating. Um, and so I feel like I, but then, I don't know., 

Amber B 09:29

How to, so then tell me, how does that relate to not wanting to track when you go over? 

Anna 09:40

Um, I don’t know.

Amber B 09:45

Those are different in your brain. They're different. And I'm trying to investigate why they're different because in your brain estimating is, is okay. Which is, I'm not saying it is, or it isn't. I'm just saying someone who is a perfectionist doesn't usually have the whole bat belief. So like on one hand, you're able to like, see in this context, estimating and doing my best and like good, better, best is okay. But in this other, and also with like not getting a star, but in this other context, like going over, why is that different to you? 

Anna 10:14

Um, I think it's just, um, evidence that I'm, I'm not doing it right. It's like, I see the evidence right there. Like, okay. Yep. That just evidence. Yeah. I don't know. That's popping up. Like the evidence that I'm, um, 

Amber B 10:32

And not getting a star, how come it's not the same evidence? What, what in your brain, when you don't get a star, what do you tell yourself? 

Anna 10:43

Um, well, I try to tell, I, I tell myself, I try to tell myself like, that's okay. Like I'm within a range and then a little bit of disappointment. Like I'm just not, I'm not, that's evidence of me not, uh, using the tools that are available and not achieving and not doing my best.

Amber B 11:06

Yeah. I mean, this is, this is really interesting. I think we're like hitting on some really important things because it's just so fascinating to me because you told me, you're like, I'm not a star person, 

Anna 11:16

Yeah, my idea.

Amber B 11:17

But like you kind of want to be a star person 

Anna 11:19

Kind of a deal.

Amber B 11:20

Right. Because that's, that's why that's where the disappointment's coming from. 

Anna 11:24

Yeah.

Amber B 11:25

So it's like, 

Anna 11:26

That is so funny. I know. Yeah.

Amber B 11:27

So it's like, on one hand you want to be a star person and you have a little bit of like feeling like you want to do this perfectly, but on the other hand, you, you've been able to like work your brain around, uh, letting yourself off the hook. And I'm not sure if it's in a positive or negative way. Right. I think this is where I go back to the conversation I had with Anne. It's like, to me, it's like not the decision that you're making. It's how you're making the decision and why you're making the decision. So to me, it's like, I don't really care whether you get a star or not like that. That's boring. What I do care is what you think about how you're deciding whether or not you're going to get a star and what you go through in like that, that conversation yourself. That's what's, that's, what's more revealing. And it's just been really interesting hearing you. I'm just hearing very conflicting things in how you're thinking about this, this situation.

Anna 12:18

Yeah. I often do feel conflicted. Um, but cause I, I, I, um, I'm trying to look for the evidence of me getting the results. I'm looking, trying to find the evidence, you know, I'm at least, I'm trying to give myself credit for doing those things. But then in the back of my mind, but it's sort of like, but am I, am I just delusional? 

Amber B 12:43

Are you like, are you giving yourself an out where it's like, if I don't, if I don't want a star, if I'm not a star person and then I don't get it, then I don't feel quite as bad about it. 

Anna 12:55

Yeah, probably. Yeah. Well, and why I don't write down my macros when I, I know I'm going over because, um, well then I'm for sure. I'm not a star person. Like there's evidence there. I'm not. And so I'm just not a star person. Um, yeah. 

Amber B 13:15

If you were a star person, okay. What would be available to you? Like what is there, like, is being a good star person, a good thing? Like, does it provide good things or does it provide stress? 

Anna 13:30

Uh, I associate it with stress.

Amber B 13:32

Yeah. Okay. Which would make sense of like, why you don't want to be a star person because you feel like that is going to be more stressful. So then I'm not a star person. So then you start to reinforce that with the behaviors of like, yeah, I don't need to get close, which would then also make sense. This makes more sense. Then it would also make sense as to like, why you wouldn't want to track it if you go over because there's more, more evidence to support, like you aren't a star person. 

Anna 13:56

But then I'm, I'm swinging too far, right? 

Amber B 13:59

Oh, well, yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think, I think the aha moment right here is that the reason that you're doing all this is to give yourself an out. 

Anna 14:06

Okay. 

Amber B 14:07

It's, it's to, it's to give yourself an out and we had a conversation. If you guys are, I know I keep referencing that, but sometimes it's the best conversation we have are during these like lives or these, uh, class I put together. But if you guys were in the last class that I did the deep dive where I talked about detachment, that conversation, I really think applies here. And just as like a brief, like synopsis, I talk about how, how can we hold a goal and hold a vision of what we want without making it bad or wrong, if we don't get it, right. This is why a lot of people don't set lofty goals because then they're like, well, if I don't achieve them, then that means I'm a loser. And now it's like, you're off, you're worse off than if you just never set the goal. And that's kind of what I'm hearing is like, if I'm not a star person, then I don't feel disappointed when I don't get a star.

Anna 14:58

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 

Amber B 15:00

So the, the solution to this is this idea of detachment. It's being able to loosely hold. I use the metaphor of a baby bird of being able to hold, if you're going to hold a baby bird 

Anna 15:12

Real quick, you did this one with me before.

Amber B 15:15

Okay. Well, sometimes the lessons that we need are repeated so that we actually learn them. 

Anna 15:21

Okay. Okay. Go ahead. Tell me. 

Amber B 15:23

No, no, no. You tell me, you teach me about attachment. 

Anna 15:27

Okay. Well now let, let me see if I make sure I get it right. Cause okay. Okay. I can 

Amber B 15:34

You know, actually I have to get it right.

Anna 15:37

Okay. You're right. Right. So I can hold the baby bird. Um, and I could, well, and then there's like, I can hold the baby bird where I can just kind of hold the baby bird till I kill it. And I squeeze it to death. Um, so it's there and it's in my hand. Um, but it's, it's not like I'm, I'm gripping so tightly where it can't fly. It can't grow. Okay. I just, I squat, I squash it, 

Amber B 16:03

Yeah, but you can't let go either. 

Anna 16:05

Yeah. And I, yeah. And I can't drop it. 

Amber B 16:07

Yeah, drop it. Right. So it's like this in between of like this loosely holding this ideal, this goal that you have supporting it. And then also being detached of whether or not like you actually achieve that, that set outcome. I, this, I I'm super curious about this relationship that you have of like being a star person, right? Because basically what you've done is you form this identity and it doesn't even really matter what the identity means to you. Being a star person means something and that it doesn't really even matter what it means. But right now I think you tell me if I'm wrong right now, I think your brain has associated one being a star person with stress and anxiety and like too much effort. Right. And yet simultaneously, and this is where the disconnect comes and simultaneously you've connected being a star person with results. 

Anna 16:55

Yeah.

Amber B 16:56

So now you're stuck in this conundrum because you're like star people get results, but I don't want to be a star person because that's too much effort and stress and energy. And so now you're in this like really weird in between of like wanting to be a star person, but also not wanting to be a star person, you know, and that's where like the push and pull back and forth comes, comes into battle. Yeah?

Anna 17:17

Yeah. A hundred percent 

Amber B 17:19

If you figured it out. We landed on it. So, so this is really, this is really insightful, right? It's really helpful because you basically put yourself in a lose lose situation. 

Anna 17:29

Yeah. 

Amber B 17:30

Either you lose by being a star person because now you have to like do all this effort and energy and you've like now maybe you get results, but you've lost because now your effort and energy is applied or you say, screw that. And you like just estimate everything and it's fine. And you're not a star person, but then you feel like you're not getting the results that you want. 

Anna 17:49

Yeah. Okay. I, okay. This right now, I just want to let go of the whole star person thing, just as my life is right now. And now I have to shift away from that and just be like, it's like the estimating, the writing down the documenting, the keeping track of everything. I'm still winning. 

Amber B 18:15

I might go about this a little bit differently. I don't, okay. I would like to, so it's really easy when we get into identity work to focus on the tangible. So I think that that is a little bit of like the, the, um, when, when we have this idea of a star person, it becomes really easy to link being a star person with like getting a star on MacrosFirst. That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying in your mind, there is an identity around the star person that is unattached to whether or not there's a star, but there is an ideal identity in your mind of somebody who is successful. And that's not me currently. That's, that's how you feel. 

Anna 18:57

Yeah. 

Amber B 18:58

You're like, there's the successful people and then there's me.

Anna 19:01

Yeah. 

Amber B 19:02

And I don't think that they have to be separate or that they should be separate. And I think that they can be one in the same. So if I'm thinking about this, I'm thinking of, and this is, we're diving into your brain. There's no right or wrong to this. Like in your brain, you have a concept of what a star person is. And yes, maybe they get stars on MacrosFirst, but that's like the least of our worries. So what are the other attributes of a star person? Like if you were a star person, what would you embody? 

Anna 19:31

What would I embody? Um, 

Amber B 19:33

What attributes, what ways of being, what? 

Anna 19:36

I feel like I would, uh, be more planned. Um, I would, um, I, I think that would be less, um, scared of document writing down my macro writing down macros like, um, star person. .

Amber B 20:01

Why do you think that would be? 

Anna 20:03

Um, I, I envision a star person in being like the athlete, the, like, I'm just, you know, this, like just getting the job done, you know, just going in, um, know what it needs to take to accomplish it and does it. 

Amber B 20:27

So if we're thinking about this in terms of a continuum, um, this, I mean, I feel like maybe we're, we're speaking more to like the rebel side and you're saying, I kind of want to move more towards the, like a little bit more, maybe not rigid, but like a little bit more structure, a little bit more, a little bit more like get in and get the job done. I find it fascinating in that in your mind, the star person would be less scared of writing down the macros because, and this is why I mean by like, it's not the star because that would inherently not give you a star. So, I mean, it's just so like, it's so interesting. It's like the star person is actually more honest with themselves is what you're saying. It's like not trying to hide from yourself. 

Anna 21:08

Yeah.

Amber B 21:09

Um, it has nothing to do with the star. No, it's like completely detached from whether or not you get a star. It's like the star person's willing to be honest with themselves. They're willing to create a little bit more structure in their life. Now what I'm not asking you, and I think this is where your brain goes and why you resist it so much, because what I think you think is that you have to swing over to being hyper-structured and hyper specific and you have to weigh everything and you have to have a meal plan and it has to be all exact and like, and your brain is like, hell no, that sounds miserable, but that's not what we're asking. That's not what that's not at all what we're asking. We're saying you're a little bit over on this side of the continuum and we just want to shift you a little bit. Just like just a little bit.

Anna 21:52

Yeah. Yeah. yeah. 

Amber B 21:53

Just a little bit. And when we recognize that and then we can start to ask, well, what behaviors would, what could we do? Right. And I mean, some easy ones are just like starting to track what it is being honest with yourself. It's like, it's again, it's not about the star. It's about, I want to be a person who's honest with myself. So I track what it is I eat. And, and some things I'm estimating, like that doesn't mean I'm not saying that you have to weigh everything and be super exact, but at least you're being honest. You're not trying to hide from yourself. We do, we do really poorly when we try to hide from ourselves because it lacks, it lacks integrity. We know that inherently when we try to hide from ourselves, that it lacks integrity. And we try to get away from ourselves. That's never going to be the highest version of ourselves. And so what you're, what you're feeling is like, I'm trying to get away from myself in like a really silly way. I don't want to be that person anymore. I want to be the person who's honest with myself. And whether that's like I ate a thousand calories or 12,000 calories, it's like, I just want to be honest with myself and see how that, that shifting into that identity again, has nothing to do with the star as everything to do with how you want to show up in the moment. So I don't think that we have to swing to like meal prepping and planning and pre-logging and weighing everything and everything. It's like, what would it look like for you to just shift a little bit more towards some structure that maybe you've been lacking? What do you think? 

Anna 23:18

Um, yeah, like I, I kind of, I kind of, when you said that, I, I, I knew that, like, I knew that the first step for me, I feel like the first step I need to do is to log, to be honest about it, to like see the, see the red and be like, it's fine. It's just, it is, this is what it is. And now 

Amber B 23:37

Because, and this is, I'm sorry, I'm cutting you off, but this is an important point. It's, it's not, it's not just fine. It's good because you were honest. And that's the goal. The goal is the star. The goal isn't the heart, the, the, the, the dot or the star. Like that's not the goal. The goal, that's not the goal. The goal is, am I being honest with myself? So when I'm honest with myself, whatever happens after that is a new point, that's the win. 

Anna 24:02

Yeah. Okay.

Amber B 24:03

That's the success. And in the moment, that's where I, that's where I want your brain to go, because it's going to be very easy for your brain to go to. I see the dot. I don't like the dot. The dot tells me I failed. The dot tells me I'm not doing good enough, but like you're, you're missing the whole, you're missing the force from the trees. Like the win is I was honest with myself and that's the type of person I want to be. 

Anna 24:22

Okay. Yeah. And I, I see like, and it is, it is such a small shift and I, I, I, that is something I can do. It doesn't feel so overwhelming. 

Amber B 24:39

Yes. It's a change, but it isn't an, a monumental or overwhelming change to where your brain freaks out and says it's too much. Right. It's like, it's, it's possible. And that's what I mean when, when we can identify where we're at on the continuum, our brain makes any movement towards the opposite side, feel like we have to jump. Like, that's, we just like to like blow everything up. It's like, like I hear this all the time on like drives me nuts on social media. You're like, you're like diet Coke, isn't bad. And then it was like, so what you're saying is I should drink diet Coke 1200 times a day. And you're like, no, you're like jumping to the other side. What I'm saying is maybe you aren't going to die if you like drink it once. Right. It's like our brains just love to jump to extremes, reel them back and be like, no, I'm not asking you to prelog everything and weigh everything. I'm not asking you to do that. I'm asking you to create a little bit more structure and a little bit more into that structure. That's going to be supportive of the results that you want.

Anna 25:39

Yeah. Oh man. I'm now I'm just sort of like, where else is this showing up in my life? So, 

Amber B 25:45

More, yeah. I mean, which is a great question, which is a great question to be asking because how do one thing is how you do anything. And so, and that's one of the things I love most about working with you guys is like, it's, we were talking in the context of health and fitness, but you're absolutely right. This mindset absolutely is present in other areas of your life. And so what's really cool is this becomes the playground for you to like get to play with it and, and think about it and, and practice it. And then you're going to start to see, Oh, this also applies to this area of my life and practice the same skills over in this other area of my life. And now you, now you're really shifting everything because now you are someone who's very honest with yourself in all aspects of life, not just in, you're not trying to get away from yourself in those other aspects.

Anna 26:29

Yeah. A hundred percent. Whoa. That was like a circus. Thank you so much. 

Amber B 26:34

Yeah, absolutely. Really good questions. 

Okay. So I just love that conversation and seeing these kinds of mindset shifts happen in real time is so incredibly powerful. I hope you were able to take some things away that maybe can help you start to shift your own mindset around tracking and around counting macros as well. This is exactly why I love coaching because honestly, your success is not just about numbers or about hitting macros perfectly. It's about uncovering the why behind what we do. It's about how you make decisions and learning how to make choices that actually work for you, not against you. 

If today's episode resonated with you, I'd love to hear about it. Take a quick screenshot, share it on your Instagram stories and tag me @bicepsafterbabies. It's always so fun for me to hear you listening to the podcast and hear what your insights and takeaways are from the episodes. Now, if you're sitting here thinking, Amber, I need this kind of support, then don't forget MACROS 101 is where this type of deep coaching happens. If you want in on the next round, make sure to get on the interest list by going to bicepsafterbabies.com/waitlist. So you're the first to know when we open doors. That wraps up this episode of Biceps After Babies Radio. I'm Amber. Now go on and be strong because remember my friend, you can do anything.

Outro

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