361: 7 Essential Lessons for a Successful Bulk with Coach Melissa

Introduction 

You're listening to Biceps After Babies Radio Episode 361.

Hello and welcome to Biceps After Babies Radio. A podcast for ladies who know that fitness is about so much more than pounds lost or PR's. It's about feeling confident in your skin and empowered in your life. I'm your host Amber Brueseke, a registered nurse, personal trainer, wife and mom of four. Each week my guests and I will excite and motivate you to take action in your own personal fitness as we talk about nutrition, exercise, mindset, personal development and executing life with conscious intention. If your goal is to look, feel and be strong and experience transformation from the inside out, you my friend are in the right place. Thank you for tuning in. Now, let's jump into today's episode.

Hey, hey, hey, welcome back to another episode of Biceps After Babies Radio. I'm your host Amber Brueseke and today we have back for the third time, Coach Melissa Porter. So if you don't know anything or you haven't listened to the previous episodes with Melissa, she has some fantastic episodes. So we'll link those in the show notes. But Melissa actually joined the very first round of MACROS 101, which was back in the spring of 2019. And I remember as we were going through delivery of that program, Melissa really stood out to me as like a standout student. She was commenting a lot in the group. She was very involved and very active in the group and getting fantastic results. And I kind of had my eye on her and I thought, you know, I, I see a lot in Melissa and I would love to have her like working closer with us. So I made her an offer to come and join on as a community moderator. That was her first position in the business was just as a community moderator and would kind of, you know, just help alongside with as we were running these rounds of MACROS 101. And you know, as things got bigger and I realized that I needed more help in terms of coaching that I needed to expand my, my coaching staff. I decided to invite three women to, for me to train as coaches, you know, where I started now I have like a coaching certification where I coach and trains coaches, but that really just started because I needed to be able to do that in my own business. And so I had three women as our first Biceps After Babies coaches. And Melissa was one of those three women. And I basically taught them everything that I knew about coaching and how I coached. And that's where the coaching curriculum came from. We ended up expanding it and, you know, training more and more coaches for my own business. And then realizing that, you know, I have something here that I could train other coaches how to coach. And that's kind of how TMCC and our Transformational Macro Coach Certification came to be. But Melissa was part of that first group. And so she's been with me since 2019 and has been a stalwart in the, in the company. And she is our, maybe several years ago, we put her in as head coach and she manages all of our coaching staff at Biceps After Babies. So anyway, it's kind of a full moment just to have her come on the podcast for a third time and be able to share her story because I've just been alongside for so much of her transformation and, and, you know, just love Melissa and love what she has become and who she is and what she's just willing to be honest and vulnerable and share, you know, with, with my audience. 

One of the things that if you're in MACROS 101 or you're in Beyond, one of the things that we hear from a lot of our clients is that they love that Coach Melissa is so willing to openly share about her own struggles and trials. And you'll hear about that a little bit in this interview, because back at the beginning of the year, Coach Melissa got on our Beyond MACROS 101 coaching call, which is with all of our clients and got on the hot seat. And I coached her through some of the struggles that she was having in front of all of our clients, right? She's one of our coaches and she was willing to get on and get coached in front of our clients to show them what it looks like to be open and vulnerable. And to say that, Hey, I don't have everything together. I still have questions. I still have struggles. And it's one of the things that our clients say they love most about coach Melissa is just her willingness to say, I don't have it all figured out. I mean, I'm in this with you. And, uh, and yet she has figured out a lot of things over the last couple of years. And that's why I wanted to invite her onto the podcast today because she just completed her first bulk and bulking is always a topic that more people want to hear about. And it's one that I've done some podcast episodes on before, but I thought it'd be so fun to bring Melissa on and be able to share some of the experiences that she had during that bulk. So in this episode, we talk about some of the fears. We talk about some of the things that came up for her as she made this transition into bulking and focusing on gaining muscle and gaining weight, seeing the scale go up. Some of those fears that are really, really common. And we talked about some of the lessons that she's learned along the way. So this, if you're looking to maybe do a bulk in the future, or you're just bulk curious, or maybe you're thinking, maybe you're getting ready and preparing to go into a bulk. This conversation with Melissa, where she shares her personal journey of building muscle and navigating the bulking process is going to be so beneficial for you to take a listen to. So let's dive in. 

Amber B 05:09 

I am so thrilled to reintroduce you for the third time, bringing you back to the podcast for the third time, head coach, Melissa Porter. Melissa. 

Melissa Porter 05:18 

Hi. 

Amber B 05:19 

Welcome, welcome.   

Melissa Porter 05:21 

Welcome, welcome. Happy to be here again. 

Amber B 05:23 

Do you remember what episodes you're on? I don't remember the numbers. 

Melissa Porter 05:27 

Yes. So episode 35 back in 2019, and then episode 124 was in February of 2021. 

Amber B 05:37 

Well, you have a much better memory than I do. Fantastic.  

Melissa Porter 05:40 

I went back and look. 

Amber B 05:41 

Okay. So if you're wanting to go and listen to other episodes that Melissa has been on, those are fantastic ones to listen to. And the first one was from a perspective of as a client. And then the second one we did more of the perspective of a coach. And this one we're going to, it's going to go back to kind of your own, your personal story. So just as a little bit of introduction, if someone had maybe hasn't listened to any of those episodes, tell us a little bit about your journey and specifically how you found me, how you, how we started working together because you've been around for a long time.  

Melissa Porter 06:11 

Yeah, I've been around for a long time. Yeah. Hot minute.  

Amber B 06:14 

Hot minute.  

Melissa Porter 06:15 

Okay. So I started as a client in MACROS 101 in March of 2019, lost 50 plus pounds within that first year ish, I would say within like a couple cycles of cutting, reversing, maintaining. So it wasn't like 50 pounds in one cut, just to clarify. And then I have been at maintenance since 2021. I've done like, I tried, I attempted to do a couple cuts. But I just never, I was doing the cuts cause I felt like I should do them and not necessarily because I like had a real desire to do it. So I would bail on the cuts. So I really have been at maintenance since like the end of 2020 probably. And started lifting weights at home in October of 2019 and did that until January of 2021 where I decided that I wanted to learn how to use the barbell. And so I hired a coach to teach me all the things about barbell lifting with the intention of buying all the equipment to do at home. And then I fell in love with the gym atmosphere and ended up doing one-on-one coaching, like lifting with my movement coach for 10 months. And then from there I switched coaches to a coach who was just doing like my programming and I got into power lifting. And then in 2022 that was like my year of recoveries. I had elective surgery in March of 2022. Another surgery in May of 2022, was finally cleared to go back to the gym. And then I went back to lifting heavy and then four weeks. And so that was like in August, in mid-August of 2022. And then I was T-boned in a car accident and like shoved right back into recovery mode because it hurt my back. And so all of 2022 I continued to lift as much as my body would allow me in those like recovery phases. But I wasn't really able to make a ton of progress in terms of like power lifting. And so then in 2023 I got serious about my power lifting training and I competed for the first time in August of 2023 and then competed again this year in February of 2024. And then I decided that  I wanted to go into a bulk. I was kind of mentally drained from the toll of power lifting and needed a change and a different challenge. And so I started bulking in March of this year. 

Amber B 09:34 

So awesome. And that's what I really want to spend like the bulk of the episode on is on the bulk. And I love that you're coming on to share this because so many women are so terrified of bulks. And so I think the more we can just talk about the experience and what's normal with the bulk and, and some of the fears maybe you're going to have, we can kind of talk through this. Hopefully it can kind of de-stigmatize and invite more women to be willing to do this process. But so where did that desire, you said you wanted something different, you wanted to change, like how else did you make the decision, okay, this is the right time to do the bulk. 

Melissa Porter 10:10 

So I had experienced a lot of body recomp from, 2021 until like 2023. I was still eating at maintenance, ebbs and flows, right? Like with surgeries and recoveries. And sometimes I was eating in a surplus. Sometimes I was eating in a deficit just depending on what my like workouts were like. Right. I stayed pretty consistent between like 2000 and 2100 calories the entire time. Like surgeries and lifting and all of that. And so I experienced some good body recomp, but I got to a point that I was like, I feel like I've been lifting a while. I'm not a beginner at this point. Like I'm definitely more the intermediate to like advanced lifting and my body looks really good, but I want more muscle. Like I just had that desire. Like I really want more muscle. And I knew that I had, I had like eeked out every ounce of newbie gains that I possibly could. And I knew that I needed to eat more. Like my programming needed to be very specific for hypertrophy and not power building, which is what my programming had been for a couple of years. And so I needed dialed in programming and I needed to eat more. I needed to really up my intake in order to put on the muscle mass that I have the desire to have.  

Amber B 11:51 

Yeah. And I think that's important to talk about because when women come to me and they want to build muscle mass, usually what I will recommend is kind of exactly what you did is like eek out as much as you can and maintenance, you know, get as much muscle, get gained as much muscle mass as you can while eating that maintenance. And when, once you hit that plateau, then that's a really good time to decide, do I want, do I want more? And if so, you're probably going to need to go into a bulk. And, and I love that you made the point too. You're probably going to need to shift your programming maybe so that it is specified for building muscle because a lot of people don't understand that programming for building muscle is different than programming for building strength, which is what power lifting is designed to do. 

Melissa Porter 12:31 

Yeah. Yeah. My central nervous system definitely needed a break from the really heavy lifting. Um, and mentally and physically, it's just really draining to lift heavy that consistently without changing modalities at all. Yeah. Um, and I was getting to a point in the gym that like the lifts that I loved were like, I dreaded it. I didn't enjoy doing those lifts anymore. And that was another clue for me that I needed to just take a step back and like shift modalities for a little while because I love the main lifts and I love to lift heavy, but I didn't want to burn myself completely out to where I didn't ever want to do it again.  

Amber B 13: 17 

Yeah, for sure. Did you have any fears before starting? I know we're going to get into some fears that like creeped up as, as you started, but before starting, were you just like gung ho or was, was there fears there at the get go?  

Melissa Porter 13:30 

Um, definitely more gung ho, definitely more excited to see what I could accomplish. Um, hindsight, I think I did have some fears that I just kind of shoved down, shoved down. Like I kind of just ignored it because the excitement was stronger than like what those fears were. Um, but definitely they creeped in, uh, you know, like about a month to six weeks into my bulk. Um, I had some mental struggles that I ended up getting Amber to coach me through, um, in our alumni coaching group and beyond. And what I originally thought was my fear of the scale increasing really turned out to be like my fear of going into a cut and not being able to get it off because of my previous attempts at cutting and me bailing on the cuts. I was like, what if I put on all of this weight and then I can't get it back off? Um, so that I think that fear was underlying before I even started, but I was so excited to just change things up that I didn't really acknowledge it at the time.  

Amber B 14:52 

Yeah. Makes sense. And so you're six weeks into this process, this fear that has probably always been there, but you know what, that's what happens when we just shove fears down and we don't address them. They don't go away. They just creep up in other ways and other places, other times. So this came up, we had a coaching conversation. What do you remember from that conversation and what did you take away and how did that start to shift things for you?  

Melissa Porter 15:13 

Um, so I think the biggest thing for me was recognizing that it wasn't. So I, I approached Amber for coaching being like, I need help with my relationship with the scale. Like that's where I thought that my struggle was,  

Amber B 15:27 

Which is very common, right? That's, that's a very common thing that we coach women through. So it would make sense that you might think that that's how it is.  

Melissa Porter 15:32 

Yeah. And so that's where I thought I needed the help. And as we were having our coaching interaction, it came out that it was actually the fear of cutting and not being able to be successful at it. Um, and so I was sitting on the fence. I was like straddling the fence of like being somewhat committed to the bulk, but also like mentally wanting to bail at the same time. And straddling the fence is not a comfortable place to be. Um, and so our conversation turned into like, let's face the fear, like let's face the fear of like, if you don't have the ability to like successfully cut, is it worth it? Like, what are you going to regret more by and getting off the fence? Like, so I think that was my biggest takeaway was walking away knowing that I would regret more bailing on the cut or bailing on the bulk than if I would not be able to get the weight off. Because in the back of my mind, I know I could do it right. Like I have done some really hard things in the past five years. And so I had proof that I can do it. Um, and so being able to recognize and voice the fact that I would regret bailing on the bulk more was what I needed to actually like put both feet on the side of committing to this bulk and just be okay with it.  

Amber B 17:09 

So good. Yeah. I mean that's, we do this so often. You're not the only one, right? We love to do this fence sitting of having one foot in one side and one for the other. It feels safer to us. But in reality, sitting on a fence is super uncomfortable and it's like, it takes that commitment of like either get on one side of the fence or get off. Either is fine. But straddling is just, it's miserable and you're going to be miserable as long as you're trying to straddle it. Um, so were there, were there hard parts for you for the, like during the bulk kind of walk us through how much weight did you gain? Were there hard parts? Were there parts where you wanted to go into the other side of the fence? Bail again? Or was it smooth sailing after that?  

Melissa Porter 17:49 

Um, it was pretty smooth sailing after that. I, so my lifting coach has never done my nutrition. I was like, this is what I do. Like I don't need a coach to like give me nutrition stuff. Right. So he's never done my macros. And so when we decided that I would do this bulk and obviously he's doing my programming for me. Um, I was still like, no, I'm just going to increase 5% from what my current intake is. And he's like, Melissa, you need, you need to do more than that. Like if you really want to commit to this and if you really want to build, then like you're going to need to increase more. And I was like, no, I'm just going to do this. Right. And so I did that for nine weeks. And in the very beginning, because you're eating a lot more carbs, right. And your training is different. Your body is, your muscles are holding on to more water weight because of the training. Um, the scale jumped. Right. And it kind of freaked me out. But then like I got coached by Amber six weeks in and the three weeks after that, the scale dropped and I was very consistent. Like if one thing I am really good at, I am excellent at hitting my numbers. Doesn't matter what phase I am in. I am like a pro at hitting my numbers. So I was hitting everything. Scale started dropping. And so at nine weeks I had only put on 0.8 pounds.  

Amber B 19:35 

Wow. 

Melissa Porter 19:36 

And my lifting coach was like, all right, are you ready to let me like really increase your calories? And so I released control and I gave him the ability to like, okay, where would you put me? Um, and we ended up increasing to 2475 calories, which felt like insane to me, but it took me like a week to figure out what foods to eat, to like hit my numbers. And after that it was like smooth sailing. It became very easy. Um, and then in July I injured my wrist and tried to like ease off of like upper body and really focus on lower body and did that for like a month and it was not getting better. And so finally I was like, all right, like I'm actually injured. I tried to just be like, Oh, I kind of tweaked it. It just needs a little bit of time. Um, and it turns out I had like a grade three sprain. It was like really bad. And so I started physical therapy and of course my physical therapist didn't want me to do any upper body, which that was like really hard for me, really hard for me. Cause I'm like, I'm in this bulk and I didn't want to pull back my calories. And so we ended up just tweaking my programming and I did more lower body and it was fine. But, um, that was a definite hard point to be like dealing with an injury while in a bulk and feeling like I wasn't able to like push the way that I wanted to push. Yeah. Um, so I pushed harder on my lower body, my wrist heels, and then at the end of my bulk, I hurt my glute. And so now I'm dealing with another injury that's slowly getting better. and so I think just the lesson that I've learned throughout this process is like life still happens and you're going to have a wrench thrown into your best laid plans and you can either let it completely destroy and derail you from making any progress moving forward after that, or you can get really good at pivoting and learning how to pivot is essential in being successful in any goal that you set because life happens.  

Amber B 22:21 

Yeah. So, so good. Awesome. So that's one of the lessons. And I want to dive into, I know we have a list of lessons that I want to share. Yeah. So let's, let's do that. Let's transition to some of the lessons. Um, other lessons that you learned during this experience. Well, let's actually let's finish the story or at least bring us up to like current times. Right. So, um, you went through the bulk throughout the summer and then trying to talk about your, your end point and then what happened after that.  

Melissa Porter 22:50 

So, um, I did a bulk for 27 weeks. I would have continued. 

Amber B 22:56 

Did you hear that? She didn't bulk for like four weeks. Cause it's like 27. It's like half a year. Long time. 

Melissa Porter 23:05 

Yes. 

Amber B 23:06 

Continue. 

Melissa Porter 23:07 

Um, and I would have continued longer, but my husband and I planned a trip to Cancun to celebrate our anniversary. And I could have gone exactly the way that I looked and it would have been totally fine. Like I actually was like really happy with how I looked at the end of my bulk. My husband thinks I'm the most gorgeous woman in this entire world. And so it's not like I needed to cut to like look good for him. Right. Like he felt like I already looked amazing. Um, but I had made the plan that I would do a six week cut before we went to Cancun. And so, um, I actually ended my bulk a week earlier than what I had planned out because I wanted to spend a week at maintenance before going into a, into my cut. Um, and did the six week cut, went to Cancun, um, decided to cut for a couple more weeks because my cut actually surprisingly went really well.  

Amber B 24:12 

Say, you can't leave people hanging.  They're all wondering how did your cut go? Because you're so nervous about it.  

Melissa Porter 24:17 

Yeah. So my cut went really well. And so I'm ending my cut at the end of this week. Um, I have like, I don't know, three days left, four days left. And then I'm going back into a bulk. So we're going to bulk again. Um, right now I don't have an end date because I'll talk about this lesson that I've learned when we go through my list of lessons. But, um, I'm not satisfied yet. Like I'm not where I want to be. And so I know that I need to spend probably a year bulking to really get the muscle mass that I want. Um, so we're just going to see how it goes. I might need to take a break for a little bit mentally. Um, but for now I'll be bulking for the foreseeable future.  

Amber B 25:09 

Awesome. Love it. Okay, cool. So that's, so now we got the full picture. So I do want to go back and go through some of the lessons that you've learned with hopes that either you're listening and maybe you're feeling inspired or you're getting ready to do a bulk that I always think it's great to tap into people who've gone before you because there's lessons to be learned that maybe we can save you a little bit of the trouble learning the lessons by just Melissa presenting them to you here. 

Melissa Porter 25:33 

Yeah, hopefully. Um, and obviously I'm just gonna like put a little disclaimer out there that like, these are the lessons that I learned that was like very personal to my own journey. Yeah. Um, obviously for you guys, like it may be different. You have different life history, you have different genetics, like all of these things come into play, but a lot of it is also the mental side of it. Um, when it comes to these lessons. So just to put that disclaimer out there. Um, so as a coach, I know that when you go into different phases, it's really important to have your why for that phase. Um, and for some reason I went into this without really getting very specific about my why, um, which led into the coaching that I had to get six weeks into it because I was kind of floundering a little bit. So I think that would be like my number one lesson is just practicing what I preach and actually like nailing down my why for this phase and, and not have it be surface level. Like it needs to be a fairly deep, really specific why, because it gives the rough patches that you go through in that phase. It gives it purpose. And if you have purpose, it makes it easier to like wade through the swamp to get to the other side. Um, so that would be lesson number one is nailing down your why.  

Amber B 27:14 

So good. 

Melissa Porter 27:15 

And getting specific about it.  

Amber B 27:16 

Yeah. And Melissa is always like a big proponent of this in our MACROS 101 community too. She's like anytime anybody goes to a new phase, they need to do their new why, because it's so important. Right. And it's so funny that things that we preach and then we're like, Oh yeah, I actually have to still implement those things too. 

Melissa Porter 27:31 

Yeah. Well, and I thought that I had my why, right. But, um, it was pretty surface level. Like it wasn't as, it wasn't deep enough to help me through like the very beginning rough patches. Um, so that would be number one. Lesson number two. Um, and I actually learned this lesson at the end of my bulk when I was transitioning from the bulk into the cut. Um, but the lesson is finding a new rhythm of success is possible. Um, and I was having a conversation with my husband about my anxiety of leaving the bulk and starting the cut. Um, and he's like, you felt the same thing. You felt the same anxiety starting your bulk, like leaving maintenance and starting your bulk. And then you found your rhythm in that phase and you rocked it. And he's like, is it possible that your brain just kind of freaks out a little bit anytime you are transitioning and changing phases because it's taking you out of the rhythm that feels really good right now. And it requires work to find a new rhythm. And Amber knows me really well. Like  

Amber B 28:59 

I was going to say, Melissa hates change. What? This is so news to me.  

Melissa Porter 29:03 

Yeah. I resist change like harder than it is to take like a sucker from a toddler. Like I resist it so hard.  

Amber B 29:16 

You, you've gotten better.  

Melissa Porter 29:17 

I have gotten better. But what's funny is I didn't make this connection or have this like aha until I was making this transition. And my husband was like, you had the same anxiety and then you found a rhythm and you rocked it. He's like, you're going to find a rhythm in your cut and you're going to rock it too. Like it's just the transitionary period. And so. 

Amber B 29:42 

Your husband's such a good coach. 

Melissa Porter 29:44 

No, it's almost like five years. 

Amber B 29:45 

Fantastic, good coaching Jared. Yeah.  

Melissa Porter 29:49 

Um, so that for me was like a big hot aha that now that I've made that connection, anytime I am transitioning phases, I can just plan for that. Like I can plan to have some resistance and actually work with my brain through that resistance instead of like pushing back. Right.  

Amber B 30:12 

So good. Yeah. 

Melissa Porter 30:13 

Um, and so I think if you resist change, if you find yourself having a hard time leaving a certain phase and transitioning to some, like the next one, um, maybe you're similar to the way that I am. And it's just the fact that you're leaving what's comfortable and you have to take new action that's a little bit uncomfortable, but eventually that uncomfortable action becomes second nature and it becomes comfortable again. And so just knowing that, like you can work with yourself through it instead of fighting tooth and nail to like not have the change. 

Amber B 30:52 

Yeah. So good. Really good. All right. What's number three?  

Melissa Porter 30:55 

Um, number three is bulking doesn't have to equal “dirty bulk”. 

Amber B 31:03 

Yeah. Oh, that's good.  

Melissa Porter 31:05  

Um, I had this like preconceived notion that I was going to have to eat foods that didn't necessarily make me feel the greatest in order to hit my numbers.  

Amber B 31:21 

Yeah. Um, will you just define what a dirty bulk is? Cause some people are not going to be familiar with that term. What's a dirty bulk?  

Melissa Porter 31:26 

So a dirty bulk is basically just not having a care in the world and you just eat whatever you want to eat just to like hit numbers, right? Like people who eat an entire box of cereal, right? Because they have a ton of carbs and they have to like eat all of this food to like hit it. So basically it's just like eating junk to still pay your numbers and you don't care because you're going to gain fat anyway. So why does it matter what I'm putting in my body? Um, but it does matter because eating a ton of processed food and a lot of junk and a lot of fun foods doesn't actually make you feel good when you don't feel good. You're not going to push very hard in the gym. Like, I don't know. And so that was my preconceived notion was like, Oh my gosh, I'm going to have to eat like an entire box of cereal. I'm going to have to eat a ton of candy. Like, and I'm just not going to, I'm going to feel gross and fluffy like the entire time I'm bulking. And I learned that that's not the case. I was able to go back to pre-logging, right? Cause in maintenance I still was tracking. I enjoy tracking, so I continue to track. But tracking and maintenance looked like me sitting down at the end of the day and just plugging in everything that I had eaten and not pre-logging. I wasn't hitting specific numbers, right? But I was within a range. Um, so then when I started the bulk, I went back to pre-logging just like I would when I was cutting and I was really intentional about choosing to fill 80% of my calories with whole foods and then allowing 20% of my calories to be for fun foods. And when you have almost 2,500 calories to play with that 20%, like that's a lot of fun food that I was getting to eat. Um, but I didn't feel gross or heavy or fluffy because it wasn't like 80% fun foods and 20% whole foods. Um, so it doesn't have to be a dirty bulk. 

Amber B 33:41 

Yeah. No, it's really good. 

Melissa Porter 33:42 

You can bulk and still feel really good.  

Amber B 33:45 

Yeah. And I think, you know, you made that connection to so many people when they're bulking, they're like, I feel fluffy, I feel gross, I feel heavy. And could it be that it's the foods that you're choosing to eat, not just the amount of calories that you're choosing? Because when you're eating foods that really fuel you and are like nutritiously dense, you actually feel a lot of energy and feel like good in your body, even if you're eating a lot of calories.  

Melissa Porter 34:11 

Yeah. 

Amber B 34:12 

Good. Okay. Number four. 

Melissa Porter 34:13 

Number four, um, releasing expectations is essential. 

Amber B 34:18 

Yeah. Oh gosh. Preach. 

Melissa Porter 34:20 

And again, like let's practice what you preach. Like I coach on this all the time. Yeah. Um, but I like went into it with the expectation that my trends that I was used to, like my data trends that I was used to seeing in maintenance would continue the same trend, but it didn't.  

Amber B 34:44 

Yeah. Weird. 

Melissa Porter 34:45 

Weird, right? Like I'm in this phase that I'm intentionally gaining and yet my expectation was to see the same trends like throughout the weeks. And that wasn't the case. And so I think that, um, kind of let that first like six weeks having that unspoken expectation that was just like running on autopilot in the back of my mind, um, led to me eventually like having a really poor relationship with the scale and needing help through that because I didn't realize that that expectation was running on autopilot until it was like an issue.  

Amber B 35:30 

Yeah. 

Melissa Porter 35:31 

So going into it without expectations that you know what the scale is going to do or you know what your data, like your measurements and all of that, like just releasing those expectations and going into it with curiosity to see what your new trends are going to be in a new phase. Right.  

Amber B 35:52 

Yeah. Yeah. So if someone's like, okay, that sounds really great. How do I release expectations? What would you say to them? Like what was the process you went through to do that?  

Melissa Porter 36:07 

Um, I think through the coaching interaction that I had with you and in that conversation, like we had talked about when I step on the scale and the scale is up, I can celebrate that. Like that's what I want. Like I want to see the scale increasing and that means that it's working. And so I think that mindset shift for me to be able to step on the scale and see it go up and mentally be like, it's working. The, the work that I'm putting in, it's showing like, this is what I want to happen. Um, and forgetting about like what my body did in maintenance. 

Amber B 36:52 

Sure. Yeah.  

Melissa Porter 36:53 

I'm not in maintenance anymore, so I can't expect it to act the same way that it was acting in maintenance. 

Amber B 36:59 

Yeah. Which is why like leading with curiosity is so valuable. You're like, this is a new phase. I'm so curious about what's going to happen with what it's going to be like. It's going to be different than, you know, just expecting that it will be different than maintenance and then leading with curiosity. If you're like, let's see, I'm so curious. And that can help drop that expectation of how it's going to be. You're just leading with curiosity with that, which I think is so powerful. Yeah. Okay. Number five.  

Melissa Porter 37:24 

Um, so knowing the very top end of your maintenance is important. I spent nine weeks in what I thought was like a 5% increase. But really it wasn't because I had kind of short changed myself in terms of where the top end of my maintenance was. I landed at like 2000 calories and gave myself a buffer up to like 2100 calories. But I really think that my maintenance was higher than that. So it's like, I spent nine weeks and I didn't gain much. Right. And I learned a lot of lessons. So it's not like that nine weeks was a waste of time. Like I learned a lot in that nine weeks. Um, but it would have been nice had I been able to gain more during that time.  

Amber B 38:12 

Which is such a good reminder that maintenance is a range. It is not an amount of calories. It is a range. And what Melissa is saying is if you're not at the top end of that range, you may be increasing calories, but it doesn't mean you're going into a surplus. And that's so important to recognize. Same thing with like, just cause you're going into a deficit doesn't mean you're actually going into a deficit. I mean, that's a whole other conversation, but.  

Melissa Porter 38:32 

Yeah, definitely. So, um, yeah, that would be number five is to just really, if you're wanting to go into bulk, into a bulk, I highly recommend spending a month tracking because a lot of people stop tracking and maintenance, and then you have no idea what you're really eating. Um, so I would track everything that you're eating and collect the data, right? Like spend the time to collect the data over the month and see what your body is doing. Um, and increase like a hundred calories and see what your body does, right? Like just really find that like top end of your range. 

Amber B 39:12 

Yeah. Love that. Okay. Number six.  

Melissa Porter 39:15 

Um, number six, having coaches in your corner is like vital. And I was lucky enough to have numerous coaches because not only do I have Amber at my disposal, but I have the whole Biceps After Babies coaching team, um, that I could ask any of them to coach me at any time. And so I feel a little spoiled, um, because I do have access to so much great coaching, but I also had my lifting coach and I've been with him since November of 2021. We know each other really well. Um, and I trust him really like I trust him a lot, but it took a lot for me to just like hand over the reins completely for him to. 

Amber B 40:05 

Release control? 

Melissa Porter 40:07 

Yeah. Release control loves to control everything in her life. And so I had to like trust that he, cause I was checking in with him, giving him my data, um, every single week. And I had to trust that he would be able to see my data and know that if I was gaining too quickly, because I still wanted to minimize the amount of fat gain that I would having. Um, while also being able to maximize as much muscle growth as possible. And he's excellent. He's been doing this a really long time and I had to like, trust that he would be able to see if I needed to pivot. Right. Um, because he's way more knowledgeable in bulking than I am. And so the little knowledge that I had, I had to, um, empty that cup. I, I learned that I needed to come into this and not feel like I even knew anything about it because that was clouding my ability to trust him completely because he was the expert in this situation. Right. Um, so it is really important to have people in your corner that have more knowledge than you, that you can rely on because when things get hard and the scale increases a ton, you get emotional about it. We're human beings, right? Like sometimes it's hard to remove that emotion and look at things logically. So when you have somebody in your corner who has more experience with it, they can look at it logically and help kind of move you in that direction. So when you're moving into a phase that like you're, you're not so sure what it's about. I highly recommend having a coach. 

Amber B 42:13 

Yeah. Amen. So good. All right. Last one.  

Melissa Porter 42:17 

Uh, Hey, you have to try really hard to get bulky. Like,  

Amber B 42:24 

Oh, like it's probably more effort than you're willing to give.  

Melissa Porter 42:27 

Yes. Yes. And it's like, you hear all the time that, you know, like women are afraid of lifting because they think that they're going to touch a weight and they're going to turn into this like bodybuilder looking person. And that's not the aesthetic that they want. And I am here to tell you, I wish try so hard to look like. 

Amber B 42:51 

For so long, it's like, it doesn't just happen just like the first week.  

Melissa Porter 42:57 

No, like it is a very long and a very hard process to look bulky, to look like a bodybuilder that stands on a stage. Yeah. Right. And so for those women who are like afraid to touch the weights, just fricking pick them up because you're not going to lift for six months and turn into a bodybuilder. Like it's just not going to happen. Um, in 27 weeks, I put on seven pounds, 7.1 pounds to be exact. And, um, 5.75 inches overall, I was still able to wear the same exact pants. 

Amber B 42:47 

Awesome.  

Melissa Porter 42:48 

Like in my head, I had a preconceived notion that like, if I gained more than five pounds, I was going to look like an Oompa Loompa. I'm five foot two. I'm a small person. I am not tall. So there's not a lot of like room for weight to go. I thought, right. Um, and I'm really happy with the progress that I made. I don't say like, I only gained like seven pounds is a lot. Yeah. 5.75 inches of like flexed measurements. It's a lot like that is really good progress. And I'm really proud of that. But it also helped me recognize that in my before and after pictures, I don't look drastically different. Yes. I look a little bit fluffier, right? Like, yes, I do. I'm not going to say that I don't. Um, but it wasn't drastically different. Like I thought it would be.  

Amber B 44:53 

Yeah. 

Melissa Porter 44:55 

And so that's why I'm going back into a bulk, right? Like I gained a lot of inches. I built a decent amount of muscle. Um, but it's not the muscle. Like when I look at my pictures, it's not what I expected. Right. And so there's room for improvement. There's room there for me to continue to grow and to continue to build muscle. And so that's why like that lesson of you have to try really hard to get bulky. Um, for a lot of women, you're gonna, if, if putting on muscle mass is a desire for you, you're gonna have to do multiple bulks. Like it's just going to be in the cards. And so I think if you can go into it, knowing that it is a long process, like this is the long haul. I have been doing this journey for five years and I'm way closer to the aesthetic look that I wanted when I started in 2019 I'm way closer now, but there's still room for improvement, right? There's still room for growth. And so there's for me, there's not really a finish line. Like I'm just taking it one step at a time and one goal at a time. And we'll see where it takes me. 

Amber B 46:19 

So good. Okay. Last question that I love you to speak to is how did the bulk change your relationship with your body?  

Melissa Porter 46:30 

Oh, you didn't prepare me for this question. 

Amber B 46:33 

I know, like I just know that you've had some really cool experiences with like going into the cut and then going on your trip to Cancun and how you felt in your body was very different than how you imagined that you were going to feel in your body at the beginning of the bulk.  

Melissa Porter 46:50 

Yeah. Yeah. So like I said, I was really happy with how I looked at the end of my bulk. I really didn't need to cut. Um, I, you know, ordered a bunch of bikinis for our trip and tried them all on and I loved them. And I tried them on when I was bulking. I didn't wait to try them on until I was cutting. Like I literally tried them on when I was like, you know, 24 weeks into my bulk and I loved the way that I looked. I loved it. I had definition in my delts. I, I mean, I put on an inch on both of my biceps and so my arms look really good. My back looks amazing. And like, I loved it. Right. So I went into the cut, um, not feeling like I had to lose fat. I went into the cut because I wanted to prove to myself that I could cut after a bulk, but I didn't go into the cut out of necessity.  

Amber B 47:56 

Yeah. Or fear or like desperation or like, yeah. I mean how you do that, the energy you come from is everything.  

Melissa Porter 46:07 

Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, I've, my cut has been very successful. I'm actually at my lowest weight now. Like I'm lower than where I was before I started my bulk. Um, and I haven't been this way in two plus years consistently, right. Um, so I've had like a really successful cut, but I still look in the mirror and I'm like, I just still want more muscle. And for me cut, like I could cut longer to try to see more muscle, but I know that the muscle I'm wanting to see hasn't been built yet.  

Amber B 48:49 

Amen. Say that again.  

Melissa Porter 48:53 

The muscle I want to see hasn't been built yet.  

Amber B 48:56 

And if you're listening to this, that may be the same for you because that is more often than not is like you want to have, you want to see muscle and you're like, I just need to cut away all this fat so I can see all the muscle for a lot of women. It's not there yet. Like I know you think that you built muscle, but like it's not, it's you're wanting to cut to muscle. That's not there.  

Melissa Porter 49:15 

Yeah. Yeah. So I don't want to kill myself cutting. Um, I love food and this cut has been a lot easier than I thought it would be. And I'm cutting steep. I'm at like a 30% deficit. Um, almost a thousand calories less than what I was eating in the bulk. And so I'm, I'm ready. Like I'm ready to stop cutting. I don't think that I could mentally push myself longer to see more muscle. Um, that's just not worth it for me. Like for me, it's worth it to watch the scale increase and to build more muscle. So then when I cut and I get down to this weight again, I actually have more muscle to show. Um, getting super, super lean requires a lot of work and I'm not willing to put in that work. I'm willing to put in the work to create more muscle so I don't have to be as lean to let it show. 

Amber B 50:16 

Amen . Yeah. Yeah. It's so good. Oh, fantastic. Any last minute thoughts of someone who's listening to this and maybe is like toying with the idea of a bulk or planning on going into a bulk any last minute piece of advice? I mean, you've gave a lot of. 

Melissa Porter 50:32 

Um, I would say just prerequisites you need to have had cut successfully reversed and maintained, maintained for a minimum of six months. Um, and max out your newbie gains at maintenance, like spend as much time. Um, mainly because the confidence that you can build in your ability to be in the gym and to lift increases, right? And so when you go into a bulk, you can go into the bulk confidently knowing that you have the ability to lift at the capacity that you need to, to build the muscle. so I think spending that time in maintenance is twofold, right? Like you're giving your, your body time to build muscle. You're learning what it feels like to actually maintain, but then you're also building your confidence with lifting. So you can lift at the capacity that you need to when you go into a bulk.  

Amber B 51:36 

Yeah. You got to be able to lift near failure. You got to know where that line is, know how to push yourself. And that's a learned experience. Most, most new people to the gym don't know how much to push themselves. And so you gotta, you gotta, that's a skill you need to learn in order to, yeah, a bulk happens because you eat more food and you lift appropriately. If you're just eating more food and not lifting appropriately, you're just going to gain fat. So we have to have both of those pieces. So that's such a good point of like, we need to have the skill of not only knowing how to lift, but knowing how to push yourself to that level that you need to be at to, to actually build the muscle.  

Melissa Porter 52:11 

Yeah. Yeah. And then just having that successful cut. So when you are gaining, you know that you can successfully cut and, and get that off.  

Amber B 52:21 

Yeah. Because otherwise, if you don't address that, you will always have it in the back of your mind and you will always pull back, right? If you're afraid that you're not gonna be able to get this weight off, like Melissa was saying, you're going to pull back. You're going to stay on the fence. You're not going to go all in and you're not going to get as many results and you're going to have that fight between yourself of, am I in or am I out? It's like, we have to go all in. You gotta know that you can get that weight off. And that comes a little bit from like building confidence from prior experiences of being able to do it successfully.  

Melissa Porter 52:51 

Yeah. And, um, uh, a bulk is like six months minimum.  

Amber B 52:56 

Yeah. Minimum.  

Melissa Porter 52:56 

Don't do not say that you're committing to bulking and you're in it for like two to three months. That's not bulking. 

Amber B 53:03 

Yeah. Yeah. Agreed.  

Melissa Porter 53:05 

Like you, you gotta commit for at least six months. And ideally I would say a year.  

Amber B 53:12 

Agreed. Agreed. It's slow. Like most Melissa said, it is not fast. There's nothing fast about putting on muscle. It does not just happen overnight. It is a slow process.  

Melissa Porter 53:22 

Yeah. It's fun and it's worth it. And it's really, I feel like I am a sculptor, like my body is clay and I'm like sculpting this, this version of me that I'm wanting. And I mean, if you think of any famous sculptor, the amount of time that it took to sculpt the statue of David, like it doesn't happen overnight. Right. So it takes time and it, it's fun if you allow it to be fun. And if you're not impatient and thinking that you should be there already. Um, yeah, I think that's it.  

Amber B 54:03 

Super great. Fantastic. Well, this was awesome and I am so excited to get this out to people who are curious about the bulk, thinking about the bulk and just be able to hear all the lessons that you've learned so that they can start to apply them into their own journey. Yeah. Thanks, Melissa. Thanks for hanging out.  

Melissa Porter 54:19 

Thanks for having me for the third time. 

Amber B 54:24 

Yay. Wasn't that awesome. I just, I adore Melissa and who she is and what she's become and the goodness that she puts out into the world. She pours so much into my business. She pours so much into me. She pours so much into our clients and I just feel really grateful that I get to not only call her a coworker, but also a friend and maybe, and hopefully this podcast got you kind of excited about bulking and the possibilities. And I think bulking is like the long lost forgotten stepchild when it comes to the different phases, right? There's four phases of macro counting and cut, reverse diet maintenance and bulking. And I feel like a lot of women go through the three, the cut, the reverse and the maintenance and the bulk seems like, Oh, that's something that's super scary that not a lot of women want to go through. But it is such a fantastic phase. There's so much progress that can be made. And if you're feeling stuck with gaining muscle and you're kind of in that, you know, you run out your newbie gains like Melissa talked about and you're finding yourself plateauing, it can be such a great phase to kickstart and jumpstart into that next level of building muscle, building strength and you know,  getting,  getting to the point where you have the muscle mass on your body that when you go to cut, you're actually able to see something. And like I said in the episode, I think a lot of women are under muscled. They think that they have a lot of muscle, but in reality they don't have quite as much as they think that they do.  

One last request. If you enjoyed this episode, will you do me a huge favor and take the time to leave a rating review on whatever podcast platform you're listening on? This is all, we have 300 plus episodes of free content and if you are enjoying it and you are consuming it, one of the ways that you can give back and say thank you is just by taking the, you know, two to three minutes to leave a rating or review on the podcast app you're listening on. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. That really does help us and helps get the message out to more women about the podcast. That wraps up this episode of Biceps After Babies Radio. I'm Amber. Now go out and be strong because remember my friend, you can do anything. 

Outro

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