360: “My Body Feels Broken” – How to Move Forward When Life Feels Messy | Live Coaching Session

Introduction 

You're listening to Biceps After Babies Radio Episode 360.

Hello and welcome to Biceps After Babies Radio. A podcast for ladies who know that fitness is about so much more than pounds lost or PR's. It's about feeling confident in your skin and empowered in your life. I'm your host Amber Brueseke, a registered nurse, personal trainer, wife and mom of four. Each week my guests and I will excite and motivate you to take action in your own personal fitness as we talk about nutrition, exercise, mindset, personal development and executing life with conscious intention. If your goal is to look, feel and be strong and experience transformation from the inside out, you my friend are in the right place. Thank you for tuning in. Now, let's jump into today's episode.

Hey, hey, hey, welcome back to another episode of Biceps After Babies Radio. I'm your host, Amber Brueseke, and today's podcast, we're going to talk about those moments when it feels like everything is stacked against you. You know, you're juggling stress, you're juggling responsibilities, life chaos, kids, and somehow in the middle of all of it, you're also trying to prioritize yourself, your health and your fitness goals. And maybe you're going to relate to Ana, who I coach in this session, where you feel it's like a season where it's messy. It's far from perfect. And maybe you're even doing a little bit of comparison of where you used to be in your fitness journey. You know, maybe you've told yourself this lie that my body's broken. I can't do this. It's not responding the way that it used to. Does that sound familiar? Because it's something I hear a lot from my clients. 

In today's episode, I dive into a raw and real and very honest conversation that will likely hit you in the heart, because you're going to hear from Ana, who, like many of you, is navigating the messiness of motherhood, chronic stress, kids being sick, and the weight of expectations that she's put on herself. And together in this coaching conversation, we are going to really address that belief that my body is broken. I hear this all the time from clients. I just feel like my body is broken. And we're going to address that belief head on. And I help her explore how to find that balance between showing up for yourself and then also giving yourself grace when we hit hard seasons in life. You know, this isn't just about doing it perfectly, or always hitting the right macros, or always doing the perfect workouts. It's about the mindset shifts that can really change everything.  

In this conversation with Ana, I talk about letting go of perfectionism. Sound familiar? About reframing self-care as an act of love for yourself and your family. And about learning how to craft a new identity that honors who you are today and where you are right now. Not who you were a year ago, three years ago, 10 years ago. I think a lot of times we do a comparison to a former version of ourselves instead of honoring who we are today. And so you're going to walk away from this coaching conversation with a sense of clarity, empowerment, and ability to be able to tackle the hard stuff that life throws at us. Life is hard sometimes. And it's not about being perfect during those times. It's about doing it with intention and with integrity.  

This is exactly the type of deep transformational coaching that I do with my clients inside of MACROS 101. I help them to rewire the think so that the tools that I'm giving you, macro counting, working out, tracking your food, those tools can actually stick. Because if we don't shift from an identity level first, if we don't shift from a belief level first, it doesn't matter what type of diet, exercise, whatever tool you want to throw at it, it's not going to stick in the long term. So if this conversation that I have resonates with you, I invite you to come join our next round of MACROS 101. And you can get on the interest list by going to bicepsafterbabies.com/waitlist. You'll put your name and your email there. And then when we open up the next round of MACROS 101, we will invite you to come and join us. So without further ado, let's dive into this coaching conversation with Ana.  

Ana 04:25 

My question, well, this is just mind blowing to me, just this whole conversation, piggybacking on the self-sabotage. I guess in my mind, I always thought it was a feel of failure. And now I'm realizing that I'm falling into more of the perfectionism. 

Amber B 04:41 

Okay. 

Ana 04:41 

More so than the failure, but I guess art, and this is again, related to both. I sort of have this mindset of that my body is broken because I worked really hard at trying. I feel like I've been doing everything right for a while. And I have had some things outside of my fitness and health goals that have just added chaos to major diagnoses in my family for the past two years, cancer. And my son is very ill and he's been in a flare for half a year. And I'm kind of working through the, I have to wait until it's done to get back to my fitness goals and kind of figure out what's my new normal and how do I still show up even if it's really messy to use your words.  

Amber B 05:38 

Yeah.. 

Ana 05:39 

I was on a reverse as of last year, October of 2023 through June of 2024. And that was the first time I'd ever done a reverse. It was the first time I know how to track. So I didn't feel like that was overwhelming, but the mindset of doing the reverse and I did it. And then I went into maintenance and these were done. The numbers were set for me. So I've learned a lot in terms of setting my own. And then when I started the program with you for the first two weeks, I stayed in my maintenance because I was too afraid to fail to go into a cut because I feel like it's not the right time to go into a cut. But I finally just was like, F it. And I did it. And I've been doing it. And then I've been getting gold stars, getting gold stars, working through it. Like I was doing MyFitnessPal and I lost a star because I ate a whole bag of rice cakes, you know? So it's like, and then I'm mad at myself for doing that versus like just moving forward from that. But I feel like there's so much other things. Like I feel like I'm in a chronic state of stress and that's cortisol. And that's the reason that things aren't working because I've really lost half a pound. So I've been doing a cut for four weeks. The first two weeks I was still in a maintenance and I'm at about 1411 calories. And my reverse was at like 1776. So I've come down and I actually feel pretty good in general. And I'm trying to add back in my lifting what I was doing before, but it doesn't look, it's ugly. It's not, it's super messy. It's not consistent. It's not what I want it to be. 

Amber B 07:24 

It's not perfect.  

Ana 07:25 

It's nowhere near perfect, but I keep kind of relying on this. Well, my body's broken and I'm just, I have cortisol and it's my, I'm stressed out. I'm premenopausal. And then I listened to those excuses, but I listened to everybody else to telling me it's okay. You're going through a lot right now. Let it go. And, and I'm, I'm conflicted.  

Amber B 07:45 

Yeah. You're trying to find that balance between what do I expect of myself in a season that's really challenging without letting myself off the hook.  

Ana 07:57 

Correct.  

Amber B 07:58 

Yeah. Okay. And that's, that's a, it's a hard balance to find. And I will, you can only find that balance by not finding that balance. If that makes sense. Like, I think sometimes we want to find that balance and just like land on it. But the reality is on anything that's on a continuum, the best way that we tend to find that balance is by going a little far to this side, a little far to this side and being able to settle on something in the middle. Um, does that make sense? Like what I'm saying? And so for perfectionists, that's really hard. Cause you're like, I just want to land on it. I just want to find the middle, but I'm telling you, you actually need to go a little bit too far this way, need to go a little too far this way. And that is that experience is what's going to help you to find what is in the middle for you, because nobody else can figure that out, right? You're what you're going through right now. Your circumstances are completely unique to you. There's nobody else in the world who has the exact same experience. So nobody can tell you how to find, like how to find it. You just have to have experience of letting yourself off the hook too much. You have to have the experience of being too hard on yourself. And then you can settle down into the middle of what that looks like in the middle. Does that make sense?  

Ana 09:04 

It does. It does. And Brittany kind of helped me recognize that I'm actually moving more than I thought I was like, I wasn't giving myself credit for that, even though it doesn't look like it did two years ago when, before like the circumstances within my family blew up, I was super consistent. But then now two years later, it's 20 pounds later and I'm frustrated, but then I'm also, people are like, well, you're fine. What are you worried about? Like you look great for your age. And I'm just like, so sick of that crap because I'm like, but I feel bad. I don't feel good, but I don't know how to get past that. My body is broken and how to align my expectations with what it looks like in this new normal, because this is, this is a forever now, like one of the diagnoses. 

Amber B 09:52 

What part of your body feels bad?  

Ana 09:59 

My heart.  

Amber B 10:00 

Say more.  

Ana 10:07 

Yeah. Just processing disappointment, processing grief. And I started seeing a counselor because I know I need to do that. But like during COVID for instance, working out has always been my saving grace. And now I don't have that. So like a friend of mine, who's trying to be there and support me, she's like, well, do you, why are you putting so much pressure to work out on yourself? Work out. And I'm like, because that's what I need. I know that that's what my body needs. So it's kind of like, I'm, I'm grieving what's going on within the context of my family and the changes, but I also am grieving like that. I'm not myself. Yeah. Does that make sense?  

Amber B 10:44 

Yeah. Yeah. It's a different identity. You're, you're forging a different identity. And I think that that's such an important realization because the most insidious comparison we can have is to a former version of ourselves, because it feels like it's an apples to apples comparison when it's actually not. And so you're, you're comparing this current version and this current identity of you, which has changed and shifted and is continuing is in, is in constant evolution right now to a former version of yourself. And it's not a fair comparison. And so not only is it not a fair comparison, but like you have changed as a person and as an individual. And so you feel like you've lost parts of yourselves. You've also gained parts, right? It's not even about losing or gaining. It's about forging a new identity in this, in this different stage. And you're getting used to that. And you're trying to find the balance in it. And you're trying to find what of that old identity am I bringing with me? What am I letting go of? And letting go in our lives is one of the hardest things that we do and choosing what to let go of and what to hold on and to bring with us as we move through life is also a really challenging choice. And I think the more that we can make that choice as awake as possible can help you feel in control of what it is that you can control during this situation. And I think that's maybe what you're feeling with the workout thing, where it's like, that was part of my former identity. It's not currently part of my identity right now, or it looks really messy. And I'm trying to decide if that's something I need to let go of, or if it's something that I want to bring with me. And you're trying to make that choice. And, and which is good, like this conflict that you're feeling of trying to decide what to let go of and what to bring with you is, is a really important conflict for you to wrestle with so that you can craft the person you want to be moving forward in your life, which is different than where you, where you've come from. 

Ana 12:31 

Well, and I'm recognizing through going, walking through this program with all of you and with you and the other coaches that I, I am, I am a perfectionist when it comes to the workouts. And it's kind of like, even back when I was working out a lot, I wouldn't have considered a walk, a workout. I wouldn't have considered it has to be like the way that I planned it exactly burning all, you know, 500 calories. I mean, I was doing OTF for a long time, but then I kind of was like, I backed off on that because I'm like, oh, I shouldn't be doing really high impact hit and all that cortisol running around. And then it was interesting listening to like your, your build your own workout programming, how it's like, well, cortisol is actually a good thing. And I do know that, but at the same time, I don't know the chronic I'm making excuses, but nevertheless, it's very like, it's, it's really eye-opening because I guess I've learned how to embrace the diet, not being perfect and messy and kind of working through that. And I feel like that's a skill I've had for a little while.  

Amber B 13:39 

And you're trying to translate that? 

Ana 13:40 

Even though I still get mad at myself when I screw up. But the working out, I haven’t done that at all. 

Amber B 13:46 

Yeah. Okay. I want to do a little bit of intentionality with this. If we have this understanding of you're forging this new identity, there's this old version of you, this old identity. And we are trying to intentionally decide from that identity. And I'm talking in the realm of workouts specifically, what am I going to bring from that old identity? And what am I going to leave behind and let go of? So I think this is where the conflict is, is because you feel like you should bring all of that identity with you. And it should look exactly the same as it used to look and the intensity, the number of days, the, you know, whatever it looks like previously to work out was the right way. And so because you can't or won't, or aren't doing all of that now, then that's not acceptable. And I think if we can look back and recognize that, and I think you even said it in some of the language that you used, as you reiterated that old version of yourself to me, that there are parts of that, that you liked, and then there are parts of it that you weren't necessarily the best. And so can we get really specific on like, what do I want to bring from that identity? What do I want to choose to bring forward? And almost more importantly, what do I want to let go of as I'm forging this new identity?  

Ana 15:06 

I would say being strong, feeling strong, progressing, getting back to where I was is probably the most important thing to me. 

Amber B 15:15 

Getting back to where I was, what does that mean?  

Ana 15:18 

Feeling strong, like if I had to move furniture, not that I'm moving furniture all the time, but just that was an important part of my identity. Being able to see my biceps, I look at my arms now and it's just like, and I am, I'm comparing myself. And I never even thought about, you talk a lot about the comparison to others, but I'm comparing myself to myself. And I'm displeased with myself, but also trying to learn to have acceptance that we're all aging, we're all going to go through, I mean, I'm premenopausal. I don't even know what that all means because I don't know if I've experienced it or not. And some, I'm like, is that a hot flash? I don't know. Is it? But I think I'm starting to go down that. I mean, we all will, but I'm, I think I'm starting to figure, you know, and the whole like weight gain and all that is obviously happened too. So that's not fun. I would say lifting and then I don't care so much. I like to sweat. So, I mean, I've been trying hot yoga because it just feels good. It feels good to have that flexibility and I want to be flexible. So when it comes to, I want strength and flexibility.  

Amber B 16:35 

And so those are the things you want to bring from that old identity. What are the things you want to let go of?  

Ana 16:42 

Running. I don't care if I ever run again, it hurts to run. But, you know, having birth, giving birth changes that department, you know, vaginally birth. So I don't want to run. I don't care about that. I don't care. I like group fitness, but I'm trying to figure out how to work out at home. I have equipment. I it's like motivation. I need to just go and do it even though it's not, it's messy. I need to embrace to just do it versus not doing it. Something is better than nothing. But then I fall back into that tendencies of like, well, if I'm not progressively overloading, then what's the point? If I'm just kind of half-assing lifting a few weights here and there and I'm not consistent in terms of days.  

Amber B 17:35 

Yeah. Okay. So you talked about things that you're going to let go of that are like physical things like running and BMI and working at home and things like that from a mental standpoint or the way that you approach to exercise and the way that you thought about exercise, what are you going to let go of?  

Ana 17:55 

That exercise is the only way to achieve the physical goals I am seeking and how diet plays a role, but then I feel like I'm doing the diet right. And then I don't see any change so..  

Amber B 18:12 

That's where the broken, like the leap to like I'm broken goes in, which makes sense. One thing that I get a sense of that is very, very common. So you're not, you're definitely not alone in this as when we are in childhood, we start to craft our sense of identity and that continues to evolve as we age. And as we get older and continues to, like, it's not static, right? As you can see is like your sense of identity is different today than it was a couple of years ago. And it will be different in a couple of years than it is today, right? We're constantly evolving. We're constantly changing. We're constantly up leveling our identity and crafting that identity over time. One of the hardest things to do is start to separate our identity and who we are from some of the more physical aspects of living in our world, meaning the things that we do, the achievements we have and the physical external of who we are. So for a lot of us, our sense of self, our identity is very commingled collapse down with what our body looks like, what we do, what we achieve, the things that are external in our world. And what happens if we build our sense of self and our sense of identity on what we look like, how much money we make, what our job is, how good of a parent we are, like what all these other like external things. If we build our sense of identity around that, when those things start to change, and they always will, we lose our sense of identity. And I think that's a little bit of like what's happened here is you built a sense of identity of I'm someone who's strong, who like has muscles, who looks a certain way, who has a certain BMI, like this is who I am as a person. And as that has shifted and changed, it makes you feel like I'm not myself anymore. I'm not the same person. Like I'm losing a part of myself. And in reality, like you are never your body. You are never the things you do. You are never how strong you are. You are never your BMI. Like those things, we collapse them and we make them one, but they never actually were one. And so when we can build that sense of self outside of the things we do and the way we look and the aesthetics and all of those things, and we hold on to our sense of self, then when you go through these changes and life is always teaching us, life is always presenting us things to learn. And there seems to be this lesson of like, can you separate yourself out from what you look like? Can you separate yourself out from how many days you work out in the gym? Can you separate your worth and who you are on a human, individual, spiritual, soul level from these external things that aren't actually who Ana is?  

Ana 21:02 

Wow. That's powerful.  

Amber B 21:05 

Yeah.  

Ana 21:06 

Brittany actually labeled me in circle when she was helping me work through this as an athlete. And I've never thought of myself as an athlete, but I think others see me as an athlete and that kind of resonates with me, but now I don't see myself. And I don't think other people would think of myself as an athlete. So this is good. This is, I don't think I've ever thought about what I am inside versus how I'm perceived on the outside.  

Amber B 21:34 

Yeah. And listen, like it's, it's very easy. We live in a 3D world where other people can only see certain parts of us. Like if someone looks at me, they can't see me. They can see what I look like on the outside and people can like, you know, physical or financial success, work success, um, lifting a certain amount of weight is all things that are tangible. People can see that they can perceive that about me. Um, but it isn't actually me. And when we collapse those two things down, it becomes really hard when things change as they always will. This is why aging is so hard for a lot of people. This is why gaining weight is so hard for a lot of people, because they're like, I'm not me anymore. And it's like, yeah, you are because you aren't your body. You aren't your body. But when we build our sense of self as that, it, it is, it, it shakes who you feel like you are. And that, that is foundational with shaking for us, which is why it feels like you spiral. It's like, who am I? Even? I thought I was a strong woman. I thought I was this person on muscles. I thought I looked a certain way. Like I thought that was me. And I've lost that. And it's like, you've lost this part of you, the sense of self. So when we can cultivate that sense of self, and I'm not saying anything with those things are bad, right? Like I'm not saying it's bad to like work towards something or have an aesthetic goal or want to get stronger. Like those are, none of those are bad. It's bad when we take it so far that we create our sense of self off of those things, because they're not, they aren't, it isn't actually you and they change and it's never going to be static. And then we can always feel like we're always trying to grasp and we can never just keep it in our hands. We can never hold it because it's like sloping through our fingers. And then we just feel out of control. And I think that's kind of what you're smiling right now is like, I feel like I can't grasp at anything and hold on to anything. And my body's broken and all of these things that are, that are sliding through your fingers. And so what's the answer, right? Okay, great.We like identify the problem. What is the answer? The answer is starting to build a sense of self outside of what you look like or what you do. And this is hard work of who am I, who is Ana without a body, without a job, without kids, without a partner, without anything else. Like who am I at my core and how can I understand and get to know that part of me? And then these other parts just become fun things to do, fun things to play around with.  

Ana 23:59 

Yeah, that's really good. That's powerful. Kind of brings me back to the, the, the, the one we did with the notes, the, the lesson that we got,  

Amber B 24:08 

Oh yeah, the values, yeah. 

Ana 24:11 

The values, like, interesting. Yeah. I'll have to go back and look at that.  

Amber B 24:18 

What were your top values? You remember?  

Ana 24:22 

Yeah. It was trustworthy, community and confidence. 

Amber B 24:29 

I love that. And so the question can be, how are we, how are we developing those things?  

Ana 24:38 

Yeah. 

Amber B 24:38 

Because those are traits of you, right? That has nothing to do with how much money you make, what your body looks like, how much weight you can lift or anything like that. Like these are, these are core values for you and developing those as part of yourself. I would like to offer you one exercise that I think could be helpful as you're working through, you know, there's a lot of deeper work here to be done. But I want to give you a tool that I think could be helpful because I, I always love it when I see, when I find themes in a call where like the same theme comes up over and over and it kind of communicates to me that this is like, this is something we need to address. And the theme that's come up to me over and over again, is this idea of pressure language. I heard it in some of the ways that you were saying, like, I, I need to go work out. I should go work out. Then having resistance against that. So pressure language is, and I talked about this at the very beginning. It, it, it takes it away from having it be our choice and really being able to own that choice. It's like that external person telling us that I need to work out. It's not me owning it and saying, I need to work out. So we all do this, right? This is, this is something that we all do, but I have an exercise that I like to take clients through that kind of can move you through this. So I'd love to do it with you here on, if you're, if you're game. 

Ana 25:54 

Sure. Thank you. 

Amber B 25:55 

Okay, cool. Yeah. And then those of you guys who are listening, you can, I encourage you to go through this exercise alongside with us because that it's going to be more powerful. So the first thing I want you guys to write down is, is something that you say that I, I should do like, what is something that you tend to in your own mind? Say, I should do this thing. Um, go ahead and write that down and say, I should eat better. I should work out. I should not yell at my kids. I should, whatever we're shooting over ourselves all the time. How do you tend to shoot on yourself? Write that down. So what did you write down on? I want you to say it out loud.  

Ana 26:36 

I wrote, I should work out more.  

Amber B 26:38 

Okay. Good. I should work out more. And how do you feel when you say that?  

Ana 26:44 

I, I feel like I fail when I procrastinate and I don't do it. I get mad at myself for just not doing it. Like what's my problem. Like I literally have equipment in my basement, not everything, but I mean, I have enough and I, I make excuses and when I go do it, I feel great. So what's my problem?  

Amber B 27:10 

Okay. Yeah. So there's like a lot of like, like anger and like, what the heck?  

Ana 27:13 

Anger. Yeah. Anger is a good one.  

Amber B 27:16 

Yeah. Okay, cool. Um, we're going to take that same sentence and we're just going to swap out one word and you're going to rewrite it. And then you're going to say it verbally to me and the word that we're going to take out as the word should, and we're going to replace it with the word could. So I want you to write that out and then I want you to say it out loud. 

Ana 27:32 

I could work out more.  

Amber B 27:33 

Okay. And now what are you present to you now?  

Ana 27:40 

That I have the option that I, based on how I feel that day and I, it feels less pressure.  

Amber B 27:40 

Less pressure. Good. Okay. We're not done. The next switch that we're going to shift is from could to can. So I want you to say the sentence now with the word can replaced out. 

Ana 28:07 

I can work out more.  

Amber B 28:10 

And how does that feel? What are you present to?  

Ana 28:15 

It makes it feel like it's an option that I have.  

Amber B 28:25 

Do you see any difference or do you feel any difference? And it's fine if you don't, there's no right, wrong or right answer. Do you feel any difference between I could work out more and I can work out more?  

Ana 28:35 

Can is less threatening. Could is kind of like a little undermining, like, Oh, I could work out. But I still am not. But I can feels more like, okay, I have, this is, I, I can control this. I can just go downstairs and just do it. I can work out. 

Amber B 28:59 

Okay, good. We're not done. We have one more. So now what you're going to do is we're going to leave all the words, but we're just going to add one. And the word that we're going to add, and then you're going to finish the sentence is the word because, so I can work out more because, why? 

Ana 29:18 

I can work out more because I love the way it makes me feel.  

Amber B 29:23 

And how does that feel? What are you present to?  

Ana 29:28 

Pretty powerful, actually pretty empowering. 

Amber B 29:32 

So all we did was shift from again, an external reference point of like, I should be doing this, this pressure language, which we all do to ourselves. And it's not, it doesn't work. Like that's the irony about it is we shut all over ourselves with this idea that it will help us do more and it actually backfires. And so we shifted from this external reference, from this pressure language into empowering language, because the truth is you, you can, you can work out because of how it makes you feel. And that, that is the reality is like, you have that choice and you have that power and it helps you to take back that power and look at it just a little differently. And when you look at things differently, they change. Now Wayne Dyer said, the way that you look at things is like the way things change.  

Ana 30:14 

What comes up for me is gratitude that I have that, that I can do that, even though I'm getting older and things are stiffer and, and it might be harder and I have to maybe take lifts slower that I can. And that actually makes me think that I'm grateful that I can. 

Amber B 30:32 

That's powerful, powerful experience to be sitting in gratitude rather than anger.  

Ana 30:41 

Powerful. That's, I would sum that up. Definitely for sure.  

Amber B 30:47 

So I want to give you that to you as a tool to help you in some of these moments where you're feeling disempowered. I have to imagine, I mean, with all the things that you said that are going on in your life, there has to be this feeling, or at least I would be feeling like, gosh, I so much, I can't control like overwhelming number of things that are just happening to you on it. And this feeling of like, we, as humans crave the feeling of control and you are being presented the reality that as much as we like to think we are in control of things, we are in control of very, very few things. And so it's, it makes sense that you would be spiraling that you would be trying to grasp for control in any place that you can get it. And a place that you used to feel like you had control. You also don't have control in anymore. It is the idea of my body's broken. It doesn't look the way like, and what used to work doesn't work anymore. So it's like in so many areas of your life, you feel like you're losing control and things are just happening to you. And then this other area that was so static and you could rely on is also, you know, you're, you're realizing that we never really had control. Control is actually an illusion. We don't actually have the control that we think that we have. And so that's really hard. It's really hard. And so the more that we can reclaim that of like, what do I actually have power over? What do I actually have control over? And it is very few things, but there are things that you do have control over and focusing your energy and attention on that is going to be really powerful for you.  

Ana 32:12 

I like that a lot. That's really helpful. Thank you.  

Amber B 32:17 

I hope that conversation resonated with you, especially if you've ever told yourself the lie that my body is broken. I hear it all the time. And hopefully in this conversation, you heard some ideas, some shifts, some things that you can start to do and say to yourself to start to get out of that paradigm and realize that nothing's wrong. Your body's not broken. Everything's happening as it should. And that we can work alongside with our body in these seasons of craziness, in these seasons of messiness, in these seasons of chronic illness, in these seasons of whatever is going on in your life, you have a lot more control than you think. And you can move forward in a way that honors, you know, both whatever's going on in your life and the challenges that are you're facing while also honoring that side of you that is expansive and reaching for those goals that you set for yourself. That wraps up this episode of Biceps After Babies Radio. I'm Amber. Now go out and be strong because remember my friend, you can do anything. 

Outro

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