390: How to Create a Workout Program That’s Perfect for Your Body (Not Someone Else’s) | Replay from About Progress

Introduction 

You're listening to Biceps After Babies Radio Episode 390.

Hello and welcome to Biceps After Babies Radio. A podcast for ladies who know that fitness is about so much more than pounds lost or PR's. It's about feeling confident in your skin and empowered in your life. I'm your host Amber Brueseke, a registered nurse, personal trainer, wife and mom of four. Each week my guests and I will excite and motivate you to take action in your own personal fitness as we talk about nutrition, exercise, mindset, personal development and executing life with conscious intention. If your goal is to look, feel and be strong and experience transformation from the inside out, you my friend are in the right place. Thank you for tuning in. Now, let's jump into today's episode.

Hey, hey, hey, welcome back to another episode of Biceps After Babies Radio. I'm your host, Amber Brueseke, and today's episode is taken from an interview I did with my friend, Monica Packer. She ran a summit called More for Moms, where the whole idea is that as moms, we often pour into everybody else's cups except our own. And so she wanted to create a space where we as moms could fill our own cups up. And I was invited to be a speaker in that summit, and the interview that I had with Monica was so good. She asked fantastic questions. She was able to elicit some things that I don't know that I've discussed on the podcast, or I haven't been able to conglomerate in the way that I did in this interview with Monica. So I asked Monica after the summit if she would be willing to let me put the interview on my podcast, and she graciously said yes. So I'm really excited to bring this episode to you because, I mean, this is one of my favorite things to talk about, working out, lifting, progressive overload, making sure that the time that you're spending in the gym is actually making a difference. 

And in this episode, I don't just talk about surface level stuff. Monica and I really went deep on how to get the most bang for your buck when it comes to exercise. And from the moment that… You'll hear me take Monica through a little bit of an exercise of really moving from a place of power. I don't want to spoil the exercise, so you'll see it happen. But as soon as I… Monica allowed me to do that, and we dove into some of the deeper parts of exercise, and how we get ourselves to exercise, and how we speak to ourselves, I knew that this conversation was going to be a really, really great one. So I talk about how and why the fitness industry is so loud and confusing. I talk about the keys to actually building muscle, not just picking up dumbbells. And then we get into a conversation too about overtraining and undertraining. So I really think you're going to enjoy this episode. I think it's going to bring together a lot of things that are important to understand if you're someone who wants to build some muscle, and wants to get a little bit stronger, and wants to make sure that you're doing it in the best way possible. So let's jump into that interview, where Monica is interviewing me for the More for Moms Summit. 

Monica Packer 03:02

Amber Brueseke, a warm welcome to More for Moms. It is so great to have you here.

Amber B 03:06

Hey, thanks, Monica. It's a joy to be here with you. 

Monica Packer 03:09

You have been one of my long-standing favorite follows, not just because of the inspiration I get from you, but the practical know-how, which has been so huge for me as someone who used to be a strictly cardio queen. You've made me so much stronger. And that's why I'm excited we get to learn from you, in both practical ways, but everything you teach goes deeper too. So I'm sure we're going to have some deeper things come up. I wanted to begin with acknowledging that the most common habit that women tend to want to work on is exercise. 

Amber B 03:41

Yay! At least we're doing something right, and they want to work on it. 

Monica Packer 03:45

I know that's true, right? But here's the thing. It's also the most layered, I have found. There are so many layers to it. So how do you see, personally, women getting lost in the shoulds when it comes to working? 

Amber B 03:57

Yes. I mean, I could have a whole conversation on the shoulds, because obviously this shows up in working out, but it shows up in so many areas of our life of doing things because we should do them. And I just think if we are doing things because we should do them, it's never going to be successful long term. I like to talk a lot about the difference between internal compliance and external compliance. External compliance is built in, you should do something or that you need to do something, and that can work for a while. But if we never build that internal compliance of, I want to do this thing, it won't work long term. And so you said it before, you said, one of the things that women want to work on is exercise. And to me, that's the key. It's what do you want to do? What are you willing to do? And that is going to be so much more successful than the should. In fact, I can do a quick exercise with you if you're up for it.

Monica Packer 04:49

Let's do it. 

Amber B 04:50

Just starting to shift our language and the way that we, our perspective around the goals that we have for ourselves. So I just want you to repeat back to me, and then I just want you to be present in your body of what comes up when you say those words. So I want you to say, I should work out. 

Monica Packer 05:05

I should work out. 

Amber B 05:07

And how does that feel to you? 

Monica Packer 05:09

I mean, I feel like you could hear it in my voice.

Amber B 05:11

Yeah, yeah, yeah. 

Monica Packer 05:12

It feels like a pressure, like a burden. 

Amber B 05:14

It's a little pressure, right, associated with it. And that's how most of us are walking around lives, like I should work out, I should budget, I should connect with my husband, I should make dinner for my kids, right? It's like all these shoulds. And then we wonder why we're like so stressed. And we have all this pressure. And like, we're not happy in our lives. So I want to do just a quick shift in the words. And I actually want you to say it out loud. And again, be present to what comes up for you. I replaced the word should with the word could. 

Monica Packer 05:39

Okay, so I could work out.

Amber B 05:41

So how does that feel in contrast? 

Monica Packer 05:44

It feels more like a possibility. 

Amber B 05:47

Yes. A little less pressure.

Monica Packer 05:49

Yeah.

Amber B 05:50

Yeah. Awesome. And that was just like one little shift of a word. Okay, we're not done. Now I want you to repeat the sentence. But instead of could, I want you to use the word can.

Monica Packer 06:01

I can work out. 

Amber B 06:02

And so how does that feel? 

Monica Packer 06:05

That feels more like empowerment. 

Amber B 06:07

Yeah, yeah. It's a possibility. It's like, yeah, it's like empowering. Like I can go do this thing. Okay, so we have one more. I want you to say I can work out. And then I want you to finish it with some sort of because, like because and then fill in the gap for me.

Monica Packer 06:24

Okay. I can work out because it gives me time to myself. 

Amber B 06:30

I love it. And how did that feel? 

Monica Packer 06:32

That feels like it's chosen. 

Amber B 06:33

Yeah, right. You're like tuning in to you and your wants and your desires. And there's a there was a research study done that it was funnily enough done with copywriters, like people making copies, where they did this research where if people were standing in line, and somebody wanted to cut in front of them in line, and people got really, really mad if they just like cut in front of line. But if they say, hey, I want to cut in front of you in line, because and then didn't really matter what they said after the words because they could say, I want to cut in front of you in line because I need to make copies. People were so much more amicable to them because of the word because. So anyway, what the point of that is, is that I can work out is really, really valuable, because it is framed in that possibility, in that empowerment framework. But then adding that because makes it even more powerful, because it gives your brain a reason for doing it. And so anyway, this is just a quick exercise. If you find yourself shitting over yourselves all the time and saying, I should do this, I should do the laundry, I should blah, blah, blah, blah, walk yourself through that quick little exercise, and see how the feeling changes and see how much more momentum you can build from that new place. 

Monica Packer 07:47

And it's making me think the power of the word because is because it helps you really narrow in on why something matters, why you actually do want it. 

Amber B 07:57

That's right.

Monica Packer 07:58

Which is huge. And I'm oh, so there's a deeper part. I already knew you're going to do that. I knew right away. I was like, we're going to go deeper. So there's some of the deeper stuff. I think attached to it in ways that are both deep and practical are the other shoulds regarding the how we work out. And you and I both grew up like, you know, 1980s babies. So it was cardio, like it was aerobic. So and, and, and that's back in many ways, too. But you know, those prescriptions get so entrenched into our subconscious. And then we're told all the time, oh, no, this is what you're supposed to be doing. Like, I remember two years ago, I was like, no cardio. Yeah, just bad. It spikes your cortisol. Yeah, right. Yeah, it gets really confusing. And then even within the strength training, it's like only do these kinds of weights. Nope, you got a heavy do heavy lifting. You have been in this world for so long. You were a fitness instructor to how have you seen that shift? 

Amber B 08:50

Oh, gosh. Yeah. For anybody who's listening to this, who feels like the fitness industry is loud and messy and conflicts itself all the time. You are 100% absolutely right. So if you're feeling like, well, yeah, yesterday, cardio was really bad. And today cardio is really good. And this person says I should do hit and this person says I should never do hit. Yes, it is so confusing. And it is so loud. And everybody is so convinced that they're right. So a couple things I want to say on that one, it is important to recognize that science is always evolving. And exercise science is always evolving. So you know, I see that a little bit as a feature, not a bug, that we are learning more about the body. And when we learn more, we can do better. So a little bit of that, like, hey, last used to be this way. And now it's this way. For some of those things. It's just because we have more data, we have more exercise research that we've done that tells us a better way to be able to do things. So there is that aspect. And then there is just the aspect of like, in the fitness industry, people are trying to sell things. And so what they tell you is often going to align with what they're trying to sell you. And I think that's an important thing to recognize. But we definitely have swung from a very cardio heavy recommendation for most women, 80s and 90s was very cardio heavy. I feel like in the early 2000s, we kind of swung to like, okay, we actually need weights. And we recognize how important weightlifting is. But we almost got into what you were saying, where it's like, how do you do cardio, you just lift weights faster. Now, that was the saying for a long time, right? Like, you don't need cardio, you just lift weights faster. And weight training is all you need. And obviously, both of those are extremes. And I feel like we're finally kind of coming to that middle ground of like, actually, they're both important. They don't do the same things for your body and your body needs both. One of my friends, Dr. Alyssa Olenek, she says, you need weights to build muscle. And then you need cardio to condition that muscle. And I love that it's like, they're both really important. It's not one or the other. It is a combination of both. And so anyway, I think if we can get out of this framework of there's like one right and only way to do this, recognize that we need a little bit of cardio, recognize that we need a little bit of weights, we're already way ahead of the game in in, you know, crafting a workout plan that's going to be healthy for us help us with the physique that we want to maintain or manage our mood, manage our stress, and you know, do something good for our bodies in the gym. 

Monica Packer 11:20

I'm going back to that exercise you did with me. 

Amber B 11:23

Yeah.

Monica Packer 11:23

How in the end, I felt both empowered. And like I was choosing. 

Amber B 11:28

Yes. 

Monica Packer 11:29

And as part of that choosing, that means I could then craft how I was going to work out. You already brought up that word. That's what I want to lean into next. Empowering these women to choose how they want to work out with that science in mind, like both matter. How can they take all that? And what keys can they follow in terms of crafting workouts that are right for them? 

Amber B 11:52

Totally. Okay, so at number one is always, always going to be figuring out what your goal is. Like, what do you want to get out of this? So it's really important to understand that I prefer helping women to train, not workout. 

Monica Packer 12:12

Yeah. 

Amber B 12:13

What's the difference? 

Monica Packer 12:14

Yeah.

Amber B 12:14

Working out is moving your body, and it's whatever it is that you want to do in the moment. And listen, there's nothing wrong with working out. I think working out is fantastic. There's been plenty of times in my existence where I've just worked out and it's like anything you do to move your body is a win. That is a win, my friend. Okay. But then training is specifically trying to reach some sort of goal. And I think most women, especially if you're newer in the fitness industry or newer to getting to working out, knowing why you're doing something is so, so important. And it doesn't have to be to lose weight, and it doesn't even have to be to build muscle. It could be because you want to have more energy at 4 p.m. so you don't have that afternoon crash, right? That's a great reason to work out, or because you want to sleep better, or because your A1C is starting to climb, or like there's so many reasons. But if you're really clear on here's the reason why I'm doing this hard thing, then you're going to be so much more willing to do it. And then we can talk about how we then reverse engineer what we do. In human psychology, it's very clear that humans can do very, very hard things. If there's something on the other side of the hard thing, there's like something we get, there's a benefit that we get, then we can do hard things. And so being really clear of like, yeah, you're doing hard things, but there's a reason behind the hard thing. And that if it means a lot to you, then you're more willing to go through the process of doing the hard thing. So I think it's really obvious, but most women never ask like, why am I actually doing this? What's my why for working out? And then based off of that why, now we can reverse engineer, okay, if you're wanting to sleep better, then your programming needs to support having you sleep better, we're probably going to have you be a little bit more cardio heavy, because that tends to improve sleep more than maybe like a weight training. But if you're wanting to build muscle, we're probably going to, you know, have more weight training and less and less cardio.

So it's so important to know why you're doing it, because then that reverse engineers, the steps that we're going to do to build out a workout plan that's going to work for you. And honestly, your workout plan doesn't really need to be effective, it just needs to be something you'll do. Like, honestly, the it's so cliche, but like the best workout is the one that you'll do consistently is really, really, really, really true. I would rather have somebody follow a not super, you know, a plus workout, like a C minus workout plan, but do it consistently, than to have somebody do an A plus workout plan, but only do it sporadically. So doing anything is always going to be better than doing doing nothing. So that's that's key number one, is your workouts need to match your goal. And I think spending a little bit of time here of saying, I want to work out, because and then fill in that because for yourself is is step number one. 

Monica Packer 15:13

Yeah, that because seems multi layered, like both that deep should, like I gave an example of I need that time to myself. That's like my, that's the number one reason why, yeah, I move my body. And that time to myself helps my mental health. But if I were to say my goal, like, so it's multi layered, right? So my why is that kind of myself, my goal is I want to live well, like I want to feel stronger as I get older. And so if they're doing that, then they can then reverse engineer a training plan.

Amber B 15:42

That's right. Well, because if really, if the end of the day, your only goal is to have some alone time, which is great, but like, it doesn't really matter what you do. You can do anything during that time. I get alone time. But what you're saying is I want alone time, and I want it to help me to live better and to be healthier longer term. Okay, well, that gives us some context, we got to build some muscle, right? So then that gives you context for what you do during that, that alone time.

Monica Packer 16:07

Yeah. So it's like some wise will push you. Yeah. And other ones will pull you. So I feel like the time myself is pushing, but the goal is, is pull. 

Amber B 16:15

Yes, yes, push and pull energy is so valuable when it comes to figuring out why it is you're doing the hard thing. Again, humans are really good at doing a hard thing. If there's a why if there's a reason behind it, we really suck at doing hard things. If there's no reason. 

Monica Packer 16:28

Yeah. 

Amber B 16:29

Well, it's hard for us to like push through on it. But if there's an outcome that we desire, and there's a reason for the challenge, we are very, we're very resourceful. And we can we can do very, very hard things as humans.

Monica Packer 16:39

We have to be reminded of that, for sure. 

Amber B 16:41

Yeah. 

Monica Packer 16:42

So that's a great first key. What's for second? 

Amber B 16:44

So the second key is and the second and third key are really, if we're looking to build a really effective workout plan. Key number two is we got to build some muscle. Yeah, it, I feel like, thankfully, the tides are turning. Thankfully, I feel like it's not weird anymore for women to lift weights, it's, it's more normalized than it's ever been in the world before. But muscle is your metabolic currency. You want to live a long, healthy, active life where you don't need somebody to get you off the toilet, where you can live in your house longer by yourself without having to go to assisted living, where you can do the things late in life that you want to do, live a full life. The key to that is building muscle, and building muscle now, whatever age you are, is always going to be easier than building muscle later. Whatever age, even if you're 60, it is going to be easier to build muscle at 60 than it is at 65. So we might as well start now. But muscle is, is metabolic currency, it is the thing that is going to improve your longevity, and your ability to be able to live well, right? Not just not how long you live, but how full of a life you're going to be able to live.

Monica Packer 18:02

So when you have that in mind, how does that shift the way you may add that into your training? Or like, I'm thinking about a variety of people who have different whys, and how they can still embed that focus? 

Amber B 18:16

Yes. So understanding how to build muscle is something, it's a little bit more nuanced than sometimes people think. I think a lot of times, if I say build muscle, people are like, got it. I got to get some dumbbells. I got to like, if dumbbells are in my workout, then building muscle. And that's great. That's better than nothing. But your body doesn't just build muscle just because you picked up a dumbbell. Your body builds muscle in response to you doing something that is at the edge of your ability to execute. Meaning, 

Monica Packer 18:50

This is annoying smile, because I learned this from you recently. I was like, dang it. 

Amber B 18:56

I know. I know. It is one of those nuanced things. And it's like, yes, lifting a dumbbell is going to be more successful than not lifting any dumbbells at all. Don't get me wrong. But if you really want to build muscle, you actually have to communicate to your body. You have to force it into building muscle. It doesn't just do it willy nilly. It does it because it has to. And it has to because you've pushed it to the edge of what it is capable of doing. So one of the biggest mistakes that I see is, one, not weightlifting. But then, two, when women get into weightlifting, they don't have a program that's actually structured to physically build muscle. One of the things that you need is what's called progressive overload. It means you need to be doing a little bit more than you did last time every single time that you hit the gym. That means either a couple more reps, a higher weight, a slower time under tension. You can switch up exercises. But we have to be progressing. And you have to be reaching that point of muscular failure. This is tricky for newer people because we feel burn. And we think that that is failure. But that's just muscle fatigue. And muscle fatigue is different than muscle failure. Muscle failure means that you physically cannot complete another rep. I just can't. I try to lift the dumbbell up, and it will not go anywhere. And that's what we're really aiming for is hitting near or at that muscular fatigue and then progressing it over time. And honestly, if you just do those two things, you're ahead of 97% of the people who are in the gym. But if you are doing a little bit more each time that you go back lifting weights, and you are getting close to or hitting that muscular failure, you're going to be building muscle. But it's uncomfortable. And so it's why a lot of people spend a lot of time spinning their wheels in the gym, because it is uncomfortable. But when your why is there, you can push through the discomfort because there's a purpose behind the discomfort.

Monica Packer 20:58

Do you find there's a variety of ways that people can build that muscle? You know, I'm thinking of just a traditional like, I'm at a bench and trying to like push something up. But you know, how can that work for people who like, maybe they're in a time of life, they can't do a dumbbell or they don't have a bar, there are other ways that they can build muscle still? 

Amber B 21:16

Well, the cool thing about progressive overload is it always starts where you're at. And then it progresses from there. So, you know, I have clients who their knees hurt, and they can't even do a full range squat. For them, the way that I would progressive overload them is I would start with a quarter range squat, like let's get you doing that. And then we squat to like halfway. And then we squat to a three fourths. And then we get to a full body weight squat with no pain. And then from there, now we're adding reps. And then from there, maybe we're hugging, you know, a jug of milk or something like that to add weight. So the cool thing about it is it's it always starts wherever you currently are. And then we're just looking for little ways to improve it or increase it or challenge our body more every time that we return to the gym. And that's our body. That's that's the signal to our body to change. Again, our body doesn't just change because we want it to change. It doesn't get stronger because we want it to get stronger. It's stronger because it gets it has to it's forced into it. It basically is a response of like, Oh, crap. She just had me lift to the very edge of what I'm capable of in order to lift more next time I got to build some muscle to be able to do that. So that's what you're pushing your body in. So for someone who is brand spanky new to like lifting weights or progressive overload, man, starting with bodyweight work, getting the form and the technique down bodyweight squats, bodyweight push ups, bodyweight planks, like there's so much bodywork stuff that you can do. Now you're not going to be able to progress forever without adding some sort of resistance. But if you can start to build just that bodyweight stuff, you can start to build muscle. And then what I usually find is it feels so good. And like, women love how it makes them feel. And they love the strength that comes from it. That then now it's okay. Okay, now maybe I'm ready to get some dumbbells. Okay, now maybe I'm ready to go to the planet fitness and kind of make that progression forward. 

Monica Packer 23:12

Thanks for breaking that down. That's so much more hope giving. And it seems like you're saying even with the bodyweight stuff, that's where workouts like Pilates and bar and yoga can still help build muscle. But you also get to a point where you're probably still gonna eventually pick up some weights. 

Amber B 23:27

That’s right. It's a really great place to start. Like those things can can absolutely build some muscle, you just will add variety to your workout or a variety or or you know, but not all the workouts that I do is because I'm like wanting to build muscle. Like sometimes it's just fun to like move my body in a new way. You know, I had that when I came I came from so I did group fitness and then I did powerlifting. Yeah. And then I transitioned and I was like powerlifting was very regimented. It was very goal focused. It was very like specific. My training was very specific. And I got to the point where I was like, you know what, I just want to like have some fun with like my workouts. And so I switched from powerlifting over to CrossFit. Now CrossFit is actually not great for building muscle. It changes way too often to have like true progressive overload. But it was fun. And that like, that's what I wanted to do is like, it doesn't always have to be optimal. It doesn't always have to be like the most optimized workout plan. Like there's nothing wrong with just moving your body because it's fun and because it energizes you. So I think I think there's a balance there of like, yes, knowing how to optimize your workouts is really valuable. And knowing that like the time you're spending in the gym is producing the result that you want it to is really valuable. But I never want people to lose sight of the fact that like movement should be enjoyable. It should be fun. It should feel good for you. And like, not everything has to be optimized in your life. That's okay.

Monica Packer 24:47

You know, I love that. Yeah, that was two phenomenal keys. It sounds like you have a third one.

Amber B 24:52

So then the third one is again, once we figured out why we're doing this, we're building muscle. And then the third one is how do we condition that muscle? Right? So like my friend, Dr. Alyssa says, we want to build the muscle and then we want to condition that muscle. So a really well rounded program is going to have some cardiovascular work. Cardiovascular system is important all over our body. Right? And having a strong cardiovascular system is one of the best things that you can do to reduce your heart attack rate, to reduce your stroke rate, to again, live a healthy and long life. 

Monica Packer 25:25

Yeah. You know what's funny Amber? It's like, I forgot that's what cardio stands for. 

Amber B 25:30

Oh yeah. Yeah.

Monica Packer 25:32

Oh wait, that's what it's for. 

Amber B 25:34

Training your cardiovascular system, right? It's training your heart. Your heart is a muscle. It's making your heart stronger. And so what that does is with every single contraction of your heart, the stronger it is, the more blood it can perfuse the body with and the slower it can pump. And if you think about it, if your heart is pumping, you know, a slower rate, it is less contractions. You can already see how like your heart's not going to wear out as fast as someone whose heart is contracting really, really fast and isn't able to perfuse the body very efficiently. So I mean, that's what you're training with cardio is you're training the cardiovascular system to be strong and to be efficient. It's why cardio is never going to build muscle and lifting weights is never going to build cardio, right? You got to do both of them. They're both really important. And so a well-rounded program is going to include specifically two aspects of cardio. And this has been a lot more in the media recently. We've come to understand a lot more about the different zones, the heart rate zones, and how do we train in different zones because they do different adaptations for our body. So you'll hear a lot about zone four, zone five. Those are like our HIIT or our sprint type workouts where we're getting those really high heart rates and then training also in that zone two area, which is more of a lower intensity, a longer steady state. And those do different things to our body. The lower heart rate is going to build more oxidative capacity. It's going to be able to go longer, again, build that heart rate, the heart muscle a little bit better. Whereas those HIIT and that recovery is going to improve your ability to clear lactic acid from your body and be able to have those high spike heart rates and then be able to recover faster and then spike it again. So usually when we're talking about having an effective plan in terms of cardio, you're having a little bit of that HIIT or that sit and then you're also including a little bit of that lower intensity steady state cardio so that you can build both aspects of a cardiovascular system. 

Monica Packer 27:34

So the three big keys here, you know, know your why fundamentally, what your goal is, know that you need to build some muscle and you also need to condition the muscles. That means you need a variety of things that are going to support that. Then this is where they get to go into the choosing place, right? 

Amber B 27:47

Yeah, yes. 

Monica Packer 27:48

Figure out, well, this is how that's going to look for me. I'm curious if you could offer a couple examples of what that actually looks like in a week for someone who, maybe a couple people even who have different goals. 

Amber B 28:01

Yeah. For someone who just heard that and it's like, oh my gosh, I'm super overwhelmed because now not only do I have to lift weights, but I also have to do cardio, but I also have to do HIIT and I also have to do LISS and like, it just gets really overwhelming to like try and stack all of those together. I really would like remind you that you want to walk before you run. So like picking one of those, if you picked, so there you got weight lifting, you got zone five, zone four, zone five, cardio, and zone two cardio out of those three, which feels the easiest, most accessible, most fun, one that you want to do first. You can't go wrong. Any of those are going to be a great starting point. And so you pick one and you start with that one. Maybe zone two feels the least crazy to you and, um, getting your heart rate up in that like 60 to 70%, going for a light jog, something like that feels like really accessible. Fantastic. Start there, get that really good, feel really good with that. And then maybe we want to add some sprints. And so we're going to add some of that zone four zone five. Then maybe when that feels really good, then you start thinking about adding weight lifting, but trying to like do all three of those things at the same time is just a recipe to not do any of them, so.. 

Monica Packer 29:07

Yeah, not only burnout, but like a pulled muscle. 

Amber B 29:11

Yeah, totally.

Monica Packer 19:13

So, don't start all three. If you're starting out every side, yeah.

Amber B 29:15

So, don’t throw all three. Pick one and, and, and pick the one that feels the most fun. That's always my thing. It's like, which one feels fun and like the easiest one to do. That's the one that you should, that you should pick first. Um, and so then what does this look like in terms of like different styles of training? If you are somebody who, and I'm just going to give some really broad recommendations. Um, so, you know, don't take this as like gospel science, but I'm just going to kind of give you some broad recommendations for what your trains can look like based off of different goals that you have set. If you're really looking to build muscle, I'm recommending women are lifting weights at a minimum of two times a week, but usually three or four is a good number for most women. Um, having a weight lifting split, that's a three or a four day weight lifting split is a great place to start. And then having, you know, one day of doing some hit and one day of doing some low intensity steady state. So we're, we're getting all of those things in. Um, that would be something like a split that I would do for someone who's really focusing on wanting to build muscle.

If you're someone who you're training for something like a marathon, or you're really wanting to get your cardiovascular system, um, a little bit higher, then maybe you're still should be lifting weights. So maybe you're pushed that down to like two days a week at that minimum of like two days a week, you're doing two full body days. And then you have, uh, you know, a little bit more of that, that running, you have some tempo runs, you have some hill sprints, you have some, um, definitely your longer run days. And, um, you know, more of your days are filled with like those different styles and tempos, uh, of running or, or of your cardio. Um, and then if you're wanting to, you know, there's like lots of other things that we want to do with our bodies. Sometimes we're going into a deficit and we're wanting to lose fat.

If you're someone who's wanting to maximize fat, what maybe what do your workouts look like? Uh, it definitely leans more towards having a good balance of weightlifting. So maybe for someone who's on a fat loss journey, we're talking three days of weightlifting and, but we also have a little bit more cardio. So it's kind of in the middle there. Maybe we have three days of cardio as well. That's going to help with burning more calories. So I would say that you can, you have one end, the building muscle is going to be higher weights, still some cardio, other end is building that cardiovascular system, a lot more cardio with a little bit of weights. And then in the middle there is kind of a balance between the two. Um, if you're wanting to do something like a deficit or, or a weight loss plan. 

Monica Packer 31:41

That, that breakdown honestly is so helpful because everything you've talked about somehow goes back to choosing, you know, so that's where this is the ultimate choice. And, and just like you said, many times, Amber is just pick something and start there. And I love it. You're like, start with something fun. I want to, I want to bring up one more thing that I'm sure knowing you, you're going to say is also important to a plan and it's rest.

Amber B 32:07

Yes. 

Monica Packer 32:07

And this is the thing I'm always get confused about too, because I'm like, how often should we rest? And maybe you can also break down why it matters too, physically. 

Amber B 32:16

Yeah. I mean, this is, this is the key. I have a reel that I've done a couple of times where it's like, what people think builds muscle. And it's like me lifting like a heavy deadlift in the gym. And then I cut to like what actually builds muscle. And it's like a video of me sleeping in bed. 

Monica Packer 32:32

Yeah. 

Amber B 32:33

Because that's what actually, you don't actually build muscle in the gym. You actually break down muscle in the gym. And then the recovery from that traumatic experience is what builds the muscle. Um, and so I think people don't quite understand that muscle is built. It is, uh, initiated in the gym, but it's actually built when you're recovering. And so it is, I mean, it is hard because it's like, we know recovery is important, but if we have too much recovery, we're not getting as many gains as we could get. If we have too little recovery, well now we're getting into like the overtraining and injury prone. And we're also detraining over time because we actually get weaker if you, if you overtrain. Oh, so like, I get that. It's like, it can feel it's like, don't go too much. Don't go too little. Just enough. And like, where is that sweet spot? So what I teach a lot of women to do, I think what's the best thing to do, because there is no one sweet spot for everybody. Everybody's tolerance for stress is different. Um, your body, it's something that a lot of people don't understand is that exercise is a stressor. Stress is not bad. By the way, people are like cortisol is bad. Stress is no, it's not. It's a very normal phenomenon in your body. Cortisol is very normal. Stress is very normal. Uh, but your body sees the stress in the gym and compounds it with the stress in your life, the stress from your job, the stress from your kids. 

And if you have high stress everywhere else in your life, your ability to be able to have high stress in the gym is going to be lowered. You're going to need more recovery than someone who has lower stress the rest of their life. They can hire stress themselves in the gym and recover fine from it. So there's just a lot of variables. There's no way for me to say, this is how many rest days you need. What I can say is I can tell you the signs and symptoms of someone who's over-training. So you can start to know if you're tiptoeing into that, like over-training phenomenon. And I will say for most people, probably who are listening to this, um, over-training is not usually the problem. Um, usually I'm having to coax women to be able to push themselves a little harder. Most people, especially new beginners stop way too early because they aren't used to taking themselves to, um, to like the end point of like what they're capable of doing. 

Monica Packer 34:46

And to the discomfort of that too. 

Amber B 34:48

Right. It's one of the things I love about weight training is it, it is, it shows you how strong you are. Like you are stronger than you think you can lift more than you think you can do more than you think. And it physically gets put in front of you when there's a heavy barbell and you lift it. And you're like, Oh, I didn't think I could do that. And I did it. We'll say a lot, a lot more people who are new to, to exercise, uh, under-trained than over-trained. But let me tell you the symptoms of over-training so that you can watch for it. Excessive fatigue that you feel like you can't recover from. So I'm always paying attention to my body. Uh, when I go into the gym of how I'm feeling that day, if I feel beat up, if I feel tired, if I feel unusually sore, if I feel like, like it's a feeling of, of not recovering, um, that is an indication to me that I might need to take it a little bit easier on that day because I haven't quite recovered. So we're looking for feeling beat up, excessive fatigue, excessive soreness. Now, when you start doing something new, you're going to be a little bit sore, but if you've been doing it for a while and you haven't been super sore, and then you have some unusual muscle soreness, that's something you want to listen to and pay attention to.

If you really get into over-training, you, it will even affect your mood. You'll get really irritable and agitated. You won't have good sleep. Um, you may start to see plateaus in your performance. Like you're not able to push like plateaus or regression. So you're not able to push as much weight as you used to be able to push. Your numbers are starting to slide. That's a really big indication of, like I said, you over-train, your body actually gets weaker because it gets stronger when you recover. And if you're not recovering, it's going to get weaker. Um, so those are the things that I'm, I'm advising clients to look out for. And that would be an indication to me that, Hey, you're under-recovered. We probably need to take a rest day or two. We need to pull back a little bit on the volume, pull back a little bit on the intensity so that your body can recover. But the longer you do this, the more you do start to get to know your body. And you can kind of, I can feel when I'm getting into like, okay, I'm pushing a little bit too hard and I need to pull back for those recovery days. Um, but I understand why it's confusing and it feels like you can't win. 

Monica Packer 36:55

Yeah. And this is where it all goes back to start where you are.

Amber B 36:59

That's right. 

Monica Packer 37:00

And it's just like any, this is a skill. 

Amber B 37:02

Yes.

Monica Packer 37:03

And a lot of it involves learning how to listen to yourself and to trust yourself, which can be equal parts trusting when you need to push yourself more and actually lean into the discomfort and times where you need to lay off a little bit. 

Amber B 37:15

That's right. 

Monica Packer 37:16

You know? So that's the heart of it is learning to trust yourself that you can do it. You can figure it out with time. It's going to be something you will figure out.

Amber B 37:25

And that you'll mess up. I think I just want to normalize like you. I mean, if, if you're like any normal person, you're going to undertrain and you're not going to push yourself hard enough and then you're going to overcompensate and you're going to overtrain and then you're going to find where the middle ground is. And that, I mean, as much as I can like advise you of what that looks like, sometimes going through the experience yourself is the best way for someone to learn. And so just normalize, it's going to look messy and it's not going to be great, but if you don't start now, you're never going to get to great. You're never going to get to confident. You're never going to get to lifting more weights. Um, and so it's like, yeah, start now, start messy, do a bad, do a bad because you can't do a good if you don't do a bad. So let's just get the bad over with and start learning. 

Monica Packer 38:11

Well, I think that there's no better note to end on than that. I do want to direct them to your freebie while your workouts aren't working. Can you tell them a little bit about it? 

Amber B 38:20

Yeah. So, um, I created a 45-minute masterclass all about teaching you how to set up your workouts because what I saw was a lot of people spending their hard earned time in the gym. And then I would look at their stuff and I'm like, oh, you're spending so much time in the gym and it's not actually doing what you want it to do. So there are five things that you need to be including in your workout plan and you'd be thinking about if you want to create a workout plan that actually is going to get you results. And so in the workshop, I go through each of those recovery is actually one of them. So I'm so glad that you like brought that up. We dive deeper into recovery. Um, but I, I want women to get the most bang for their buck. If you're going to be using your hard earned time and going to the gym or doing a workout at home, we might as well make it as effective as possible. And that's really what the class is going to go through is to, is kind of walk you through how to structure your plan. So it's actually effective. So you're not just spinning your wheels and you're actually getting somewhere.

Monica Packer 39:16

And then you're also including a fantastic bonus for our all access past members. We're going to do our raffle. So tell them about that. That's a really exciting one. 

Amber B 39:26

Yeah. For people who are like really wanting to dive into this and be able to build their own workout plan that really fits them, right. Is like really customized to you. I have a program called Build Your Workouts. And I basically teach you how to figure out how much cardio you should do. You know, you have a question you asked me about like how much cardio such someone do, how much weight training and how to like figure that all out. It's a whole step-by-step program where I walk you through figuring out how many days a week to work out, what days to do, which muscle groups, like all of that. So that's my Build Your Workouts program. So we're going to give away a free slot into Build Your Workouts for somebody. So it'll be really fun. 

Monica Packer 39:58

So great. Well, Amber, you are incredibly knowledgeable. I think about anything like I can ask you any question and you, you always blow me away. And clearly there's so much more about everything that you teach. Where should they go if they're ready to learn more from you? 

Amber B 40:15

Yeah. So I'm Biceps After Babies everywhere. Biceps After Babies Radio, Biceps After Babies on Facebook and Instagram. If you're wanting to do the 45-minute masterclass that I do, that's a free masterclass. That's at bicepsafterbabies.com/learntotrain. Notice it's not learn to workout, learn to train. And you can go hang out with me for 45 minutes in that masterclass. 

Monica Packer 40:36

Fantastic. I'd like to end with this question in the conference. And it's what is one way you are currently seeking for more out of your life? 

Amber B 40:43

It's such a great question. And, and I think probably one that like, I'm so glad you're asking it because I think it's not one that I consistently ask myself. And I think I would find a lot of value if I asked myself this question a little bit more consistently. As I was thinking about it, I think what I've really been working on the last year or so is better communication and getting better at listening. I getting better at like, I feel like I know myself very well. And I know my own brain very well. And sometimes I don't necessarily listen to other people's brains. And that's something I'm like really working to change because I think I can learn so much from other people. So better communication, listening better to other people and seeing their perspectives to be able to give me a broader, wider perspective is something that I've been really thinking about a lot the last year or so.

Monica Packer 41:32

I really relate to that. But yeah, it's something that I'm realizing I got to ask myself that question. 

Amber B 41:35

It's a great question. It's a great question. 

Monica Packer 41:38

We have it here. And the answers have been so, you know, there's such a good variety. I've loved hearing them. 

Amber B 41:43

Yeah. Well, and I hope that everyone who's listening is asking themselves that question, right? Like, it's such a great question. And there are, you know, there's no right answer. It really is. It's just like, what do you want? What do you desire? What do you want to work on? So great.

Monica Packer 41:58

Amber, this was so incredible. I am so appreciative of one, your wealth of knowledge, but also your willingness to share it so abundantly. Thank you for being willing to be part of the more for moms conference.

Amber B 42:09

Awesome. This has been so fun. You're doing amazing things for moms. And I, I just really, really admire you Monica and how you just show up with such integrity with everything you do. So thanks for inviting me. 

I hope you got something out of that conversation with Monica and that you're starting to reflect on your own journey and how the things that I talked about applies to you, because it's one thing to sit here and listen to an episode. And it's another to make that leap of application of taking the things that I talked about and applying them to your life. And if you want to dive deeper into how to maximize your training and make sure that the time that you're spending in the gym is actually translating into you building muscle, then I highly recommend the class that I mentioned on the episode bicepsafterbabies.com/learntotrain. It's a 60-minute free class where I really go through how do we make sure that we're not just spinning our wheels? We're not wasting time in the gym that the time in the gym that we're spending actually is translating to the muscle mass that we want to build. So that's bicepsafterbabies.com/learntotrain. That wraps up this episode of Biceps After Babies Radio. I'm Amber. Now go out and be strong because remember my friend, you can do anything. 

Outro

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