SHOW NOTES

I'm really excited for you guys to listen to this episode because of Amanda, the host of the Feel Amazing Naked podcast, is here with us. We have this great conversation about feeling amazing naked and what that takes and how you can start to work towards at this moment right now. And a little secret. It doesn't have anything to do with changing your body or losing fat. There are some actionable steps she shared that you can take today to start moving towards that place of confidence. And  I'm challenging you to, to not just listen to this episode, but to start to put it in action because you and I both know that as you take that action that is when things actually start to change. So I would love it if you listen to this podcast episode and you're inspired to start to take some action. 

Highlights:

  • To experience that feeling amazing naked isn't about just feeling good when you look at your physical self but rather it's a powerful feeling inside you boosting your confidence that will lead you to your life transformation  (6:19, 8:32)
  • Power of journaling (10:21, 22:04)
  • Reasons why we have insecurities (12:13)
  • Self-awareness (18:29, 23:27)
  • Being overwhelmed is a choice (25:58)
  • Reward actions over the outcome (28:31, 29:32)
  • The importance of pause (31:26)

Takeaway:

Wasn't that such an amazing episode? I am feeling inspired to go and start journaling. I'm all about getting more of those thoughts and bringing that self-awareness to myself, because the more I do it with myself, the better I can coach other clients through that as well. So that's something that I'm committed to doing following or leaving this conversation with Amanda and I am super curious if you're going to take her up on the challenge. We commit to doing things, I'm committed to journaling this week. Are you committed to it? Are you committed to generally this week, and if you are, take a screenshot, put it up on Instagram or put it up on Facebook, tag the two of us and let us know? If you're in if you're committed to that and seeing what that awareness brings to you into your journey. I'm excited to test that out.

Introduction 

You're listening to Biceps after Babies radio episode number 104.

Hello and welcome to Biceps after Babies radio. A podcast for ladies who know that fitness is about so much more than pounds lost or PRs. It's about feeling confident in your skin and empowered in your life. I'm your host, Amber Brueseke, a registered nurse, personal trainer, wife, and mom of four. Each week, my guests and I will excite and motivate you to take action in your own personal fitness as we talk about nutrition, exercise, mindset, personal development, and executing life with conscious intention. If your goal is to look, feel, and be strong and experience transformation from the inside out, you, my friend are in the right place. Thank you for tuning in, now let’s jump into today’s episode.

Amber B  0:46 

Hey, hey, hey welcome back to another episode of biceps after babies radio. I'm your host Amber Bruseke and on the podcast today we have a very special guest Amanda Walker and we have such a good conversation. I'm really excited for you guys to listen to it because Amanda is the host of the Feel Amazing Naked podcast. And when you hear that title, a lot of you are probably like, Yes, I want to feel amazing naked, that may be a goal of yours and maybe not something that you feel like you're currently at, or maybe a place in your journey that you feel like you're currently at, but you want to get there. And so Amanda and I have a really great conversation about feeling amazing naked and what that takes and how you can start to work towards that at this moment right now. And a little secret. It doesn't have anything to do with changing your body or losing fat. And we have this really amazing conversation around some of the really actionable steps that you can take today like today to start moving towards that place of confidence. Because if there's one thing that I dive in with my clients, and we start to get really clear on their goals, and we start to ask the question, why they want to hit those goals. If there's one thing that I hear repeated over and over again, it's that confidence is that the goal weight that maybe you have set or the goal aesthetic to you what it represents is confidence and it represents you being confident in your body. And so how awesome that we can start to work towards that confidence and now, and how amazing it is as we work towards that confidence now how that's going to change the actions we take and the results that we end up getting and driving us to that body that we want to have. And so we have this really amazing conversation. And like I said, Amanda is so good at giving you some actionable things. So she's going to talk about some things that you actually can do today. And I'm really going to challenge you towards the end of the episode, she's going to give you a couple of problems, a couple of things that you can do today. And  I'm really challenging you to, to not just listen to this episode, but to start to put it in action because you and I both know that as you take that action that is when things actually start to change. Listening to a podcast is great sitting here nodding along as Amanda and I are speaking is great. It's a good first step, but when that actually starts to become actionable, and you take action on it outside just listening to the podcast, that's when things really start to make a change. So I would love it if you listen to this podcast episode and you're inspired to start to take some action. If you just snap a screenshot of the podcast or whatever you're doing while you're listening to the podcast, tag Amanda and tag me in it, and share what your takeaway is and share the action that you are committed to taking because of listening to this episode. Now, without further ado, let's jump into the episode with Amanda Walker.

Amber B  3:26

All right, I would like to welcome Amanda Walker to the podcast. Amanda, how are you doing?

Amanda Walker  3:31  

I am very excited to be here and chat all things health and nutrition in mind. So thank you for having me.

Amber B  3:37  

Yeah, me too. We have connected recently. And the more that we get to know each other, the more we're like, yeah, yeah, I totally think the same way as you so it's always nice to find someone who kind of reaffirms the beliefs and the and the things that you teach and the way that you teach them. And I'm just really excited for the conversation that we're going to have today because I think Amanda, you have a really unique perspective that I'm excited for my introduce my audience too because I think a lot of people are going to resonate with you and your story and how you're sharing your message because I think that's it's such an important, important work that needs to be out there. So, just to start us off, for those people who are maybe not familiar with you yet, can you just give us a little bit of background on you? Who are you? What do you do and how do you help women?

Amanda Walker  4:19  

Awesome. Yes, I would love to. So I mean, it's been like nine years actually ago, I left a 10-year teaching career I taught anatomy and physiology. I grew up thinking I was going to be a physician like you mentioned, I was an act I became an accidental entrepreneur but went to school, went to grad school, thinking I was going to be a physician and undergrad, then deciding that that just was not speaking to my heart, pivoted to teach, which is something that I was innately and coach, which I, you know, always have done and wanted to do. So. I taught high school for 10 years, always with this little feeling that there was more for me in life. And not that teaching wasn't actually loved teaching, but there was something else I felt like I was coming on the horizon for me that was going to help me serve a greater purpose. And then I had babies and everything kind of shifted. And I really decided that I needed to step away from a traditional teaching career and be at home with them while they were tiny and my husband's schedule really didn't allow it. We were ships passing in the night which wasn't in alignment with our life. After having babies and going through the changes, I struggled, had many miscarriages that led me to really using food as a coping mechanism I would say during pregnancies to really just survive, and in doing that just gained a crap ton of weight over 70 pounds almost with both kids and that left me feeling a lot of shame and self-doubt and misunderstanding food, like what am I going to do to ever feel like good and my skin my body felt for and I would say at that point. And it was then that you know, fitness had always been a part of who I was I taught group fitness At that point I hadn't yet discovered CrossFit. I've now been coaching CrossFit for eight years, but I was really trying to find a place in my life where I desired, you know, I wanted what was seen on the outside to actually exemplify the energy I was putting in and that's when food became a focus. 

Amanda Walker  6:19 

Like you, I was ready to let go of quick fixes and initially, use macro tracking as a way to better understand and deepen my, you know, background in nutrition and science. And that was like such a pivotal experience for me, fast forward, finally attained that like a shredded six-pack that I had been longing to experience, only really feeling still unfulfilled and totally empty. And for me, that really pivoted myself to a deeper desire to do a lot of inner work and self-work and understand like, no happiness lies ahead that isn't already inside and what I was really craving was this as a deep affirmation from everybody else like look at me I've got a six-pack but really what I wanted was like to see myself and to have a deeper connection with myself so that you know what began as exclusively coaching my clients around you know, macro tracking really evolved to this understanding that there isn't a one size fits all and that if we're not marrying the inner work with you know, the action and the steps necessary on the outside to create this you know, scientific equation that must be satisfied in order to drive fat loss, then we're going to always be left empty-handed at the end of the journey. So here I am, now I'm coaching clients both one to one, and in my group program called Feel Amazing Naked, because they truly want them to experience that feeling amazing naked isn't about just feeling good when you look at your physical self in the mirror. It's just feeling so freaking powerful inside and so confident that you know, that transformation in life is everywhere, just not in the physical self.

Amber B  8:03  

Yeah. So you know that phrase like feel amazing naked has like a little bit of shock value to it right? A little bit of like, oh, we're talking about me naked, right?

Amanda Walker  8:13  

Yeah.

Amber B  8:13  

So why did you specifically choose that phrase like, and I think you kind of started to get into it a little bit, but I get the sunset, just feeling amazing naked doesn't necessarily mean like, you're like, feeling amazing when you're naked. Like, what does that phrase mean to you? And what are you hoping that your clients end up coming away from your programs with?

Amanda Walker  8:32  

Yeah, great question. It's kind of interesting, back when I was at a retreat with colleagues. And we were first meeting each other and I had a conversation with a woman and she's like, what do you do? And it was like, at the beginning of my journey, I was fumbling around to articulate like, what it is a heck that I actually do. And she's like, no, no, no, cut, cut it out. Like what do you really want to do? I was like, I just want women to feel amazing naked. Like I was at this point in my life where I was like to be fun, like, I just could walk around my house naked and see myself in the mirror for the very first time, and just fully see myself and feel so good. And it wasn't about like the perfect body, it was loving the fact that if you saw my stomach right now, my belly buttons totally deformed and I have stretch marks galore. But I just don't freakin’ care. Like I just still feel really good. And I don't think that's a particular size. I don't think it's a particular shape. It's as we talked on my show, it's exemplifying the confidence right now, and doing what you desire to become. And that doesn't mean we're pigeonholed into a specific form shape for that to happen. So that's really what I want. I love that there's shock value, but it also means being completely authentic and vulnerable about who you are and not caring about judgment and not shaming yourself for doing the things that feel good to you. And I think there's a level of feeling amazing naked on the inside, like just being authentically yourself, but also being able to walk around with sheer confidence in what your physical self feels like to.

Amber B  10:00  

Yeah. And so what about those women who are like, yeah, that sounds amazing. I want that. And that's what I'm going to have when I finally lose the 30 pounds. So, Amanda, I need to lose the 30 pounds, and then I will feel amazing naked, right? So you can help me lose 30 pounds like what do you say to that woman who feels like she has to reach an end destination before that confidence or that feeling amazing naked can happen?

Amanda Walker  10:21  

Yeah. So I love journaling. By the way, a tool that I use and teach often is just asking ourselves a really deep level question of what my life will really look like 30 pounds later that I can't already create right now. And I know we're like-minded on that. But like what's really going to be different in my life? And truly, the answer is nothing if you don't change the stuff that's in front of you right now. And so I think there's this journey that has to take place between the inner work and the outer worlds. That helps us see that as we're working towards that finish line there are also things that we have to do day to day, so that at the end when the outside maybe 30 pounds is actually created. That's the easy part, in my opinion. We can do that by managing food quite simply. But if the inside doesn't believe that you know what that end destination can look like, or if there's no feeling that they're, you know, just the 30 pounds is going to change our entire life then that's like a big red flag for me.

Amber B  11:27  

Yeah. And I think all women at some point in their life suffer from some sort of body insecurity. And maybe for some of you listening, that idea that you can feel amazing naked without even changing anything about your body right now feels very crazy and very hard. Like, how could that ever happen? My first question is like, you know, what do you think causes us to suffer from these body insecurities? Is this like an internal thing? Is this the media like, what do you think is the biggest thing driving these insecurities, and what is the cost of that? Like, what is the cost of these insecurities? What is holding us back from that if we take the steps to feel amazing naked to feel amazing and comfortable in our bodies that would be available to us at that point?

Amanda Walker  12:13  

Yeah,  I think first is you ask a great question of like, how did we get here? Why is it that we all have these insecurities? And I think there is part of, you know, diet culture, if I think about how I was raised, you know, I did Weight Watchers with my mom the first time when I was 13. And I look back at my 13-year-old self, and I'm a little bit like sad, like, oh, why would mom ever let me join in with her? I look at that 13-year self  I was like, she was perfect, right? She was just so perfect. And I believe I'm perfect now and perfect for me now. And I think that's perpetuated because there's this constant lesson that we're learning as women that we're not enough. You know, we're told through the media, we're told through relationships. You know, we're told through friendships that were not enough from the very first day we put our kids onto a playground. You know, that starts to play out. So I think it's perpetuated through a lot of experiences we have growing up. And, you know, we have our first heartbreaks, and you know, we look inside and it's so much of what we put on ourselves is when we have experiences that tell us not enough, we shine the spotlight back on ourselves as though it's our fault. And more often than not, the reason that we weren't enough in somebody else's eyes was 100,000,000% about that. And so I think learning how that projection and relationship work, you know, I didn't have that info when I was 13, 17 to even deeply understand. And so I think that's what gets us here, right is that we need to fit in that primal instinct to be like a part of the tribe, right? And to be a part of the tribe, we have to look and act a certain way. And so here we are now like we spend a lot of our lives trying to look and act a certain way until finally, we have the maturity and development enough to say like, I don't want to be part of the tribe. Actually, that was never what I wanted.

Amber B  14:02  

Yeah. And what if we choose to continue to hold on to those insecurities if we can, if we choose to not do the work that we're going to talk about, and some of the steps that we're going to talk about together of how we start to work towards that confidence now, like, what is the cost of that? What's the cost of just deciding that you're not going to fix this, that you're just going to hold on to those insecurities for the rest of your life?

Amanda Walker  14:24  

You know, I say it plays out. What first comes to mind to me is you've just set the wheels in motion for this to be a cyclical pattern for your child, especially if you're a parent. And  I think you're speaking mostly to parents, mothers. And so the cost of not taking ownership of your journey is more caught than taught for that child. And so you're setting herself up to say, you have to fit in, you know, not prioritizing yourself. Putting everybody else first is the exact way you choose to parent. So we must as women, become, you know, the parents that we desire our child to be or the women we desire our children to be, and that starts when they're two and three. And if our child sees us serving them in a different way than we are serving ourselves, because how often have you had clients that you work with that make these beautiful, well-balanced plates for their kids and then they're like eating a Snickers bar or not eating really is probably more, more often than not. So I think the cost is repeating that cycle for your child, and also never serving up or never truly being able to find your full potential in life and seeing what is built inside of you. 

Amanda Walker  15:34  

And, you know, not fully connecting to a partner, I talk a lot about intimacy. Because I believe it's a critical part of marriage personally, and I don't mean like bedroom intimacy all the time. But if you're in your head all day long about your own self-doubt, and the preoccupation with your self-image, then it's impossible to be fully connected to your spouse in the home or your spouse during you know bedroom intimacy to it and I don't know about you but for me, like when you are just fully in the zone and connected to your partner, there's just such a deep level of connection that happens then. And then the kids see that too. So this goes way beyond you know, just you and your body. It's about just being fully present in all aspects of your life.

Amber B  16:19  

Yeah. And I think you bring up such a good point and I love that you went to like the next generation because I think for a lot of women when we start talking about consequences that have to do with them, that's one thing, we start talking about consequences that have to do with their children. It's a totally different thing. Right? We will do things for our children that we won't do for ourselves. And I think it is something and a lot of you listening have probably gone through the same experience that Amanda had where you started diets young, where you saw your mom talking about her weight or you saw your mom dieting and that like plays into what you believe in what you think about yourself in your body and weight as you get older. And if you aren't willing to necessarily fix that cycle for yourself, are you willing to fix it for your child? And for a lot of women that is a driving thing is they don't want their daughters, they don't want their sons to grow up with the same experience that they had and the relationship that they developed with both their bodies and with food. And that's what's here, right? That's why we're sitting here talking about this because of this matter. And it doesn't only matter for you and for your life and for your potential, but it matters for the people who look up to you, and the people who are watching you every single moment of the day. And so it's important so what we're talking about here is important so awesome. 

Amber B  17:37  

So we recognize that this is an important conversation. This is an important topic, but it can feel very overwhelming. Right? Like how Amanda, how am I supposed to like I love my body. I'm 40 pounds overweight like you know, I'm spilling out over my clothes like I just feel gross. I look in the mirror and I hate what I see like that woman who is so in this space where she just doesn't she's like revolted when she looks in the mirror and feels like what you're asking her to get is so far away, right? Like, that's so far away. What would you say to her is like the very first step, like let's talk about just that first step that she can take today or this week to start moving towards that reality that she can create.

Amanda Walker  18:19  

I think there's kind of two steps. So it's hard to-

Amber B  18:22  

Okay, let's do choose them…fine

Amanda Walker  18:24  

I think there's, I think there's an inner and an outer and that's why I say

Amber B  18:29  

cool awesome

Amanda Walker  18:29  

external outer step, but also the internal step, which I guess would, I would argue to be first. But the first is like I always say, the greatest gift I seek to provide my clients with is self-awareness because that is going to travel with you for the rest of your life. And you and I are not going to coach our clients for the rest of their lives. I don't want to, I want to get them to a place where they are spreading their wings and they're so freakin good at being their best self-coach. They don't need me and nor do they need to subscribe or adhere to another program per se right? There might be things to better themselves along the way. But self-awareness is critical. And I think the statistic is something like 50,000 thoughts, we're thinking on a day to day basis. And we've heard the adage, like, your thoughts become your reality. But I know many women just dismiss that right? Or they say it without really seeing the power behind it. 

Amanda Walker  19:16  

So I teach my clients a model that helps them see that there are circumstances in our life that we put on repeat, right, let's just say, I'll give an example. It's like you wake up every morning and see yourself in the mirror. And when you have that inexperience, that circumstance, immediately, there's a thought that comes up with it, right? And you've been thinking that thought for so many years, 30, 40 years that it becomes a part of your belief system. In other words, that thought is like so true to you. And what I teach my clients to do is like, really question themselves and go up against that thought and ask, Is it true? So if they're stepping in the mirror, and it's something like, Oh my gosh, like, I am so fat, right? I am overweight. The question then is like Is that true? Is that really true? Or is that your own subjective thoughts about yourself? Well, the truth is like, that's really actually subjective. And so when we think that thought over and over it creates feelings in us, right, that feeling might be something like self-doubt, frustration, shame. And when we feel those low vibrations, emotions, like shame, and you know, frustration, then we take action accordingly. So guess what, what do we do? We beat ourselves up to more, we eat crappy foods, we don't go move our body, we have a pity party for ourselves. And that creates a doughnut hole of results, zero results in our life. So the truth is, if we want to change our life, the first place we have to do it is up here in between our ears with the thoughts that we think and you don't have to think I am skinny and I am amazing, right but it can be something like I am choosing to take my life in a different route or I am a work in progress or I am choosing to love this part of the journey so I can love the end, whatever that thought feels like manageable and true to that person. And immediately I mean, in talking it out, like my energy changes, I feel a sense of hope. I feel a sense of empowerment because there's clarity like I'm doing something about it. And when you're feeling those feelings that generate action, that's different. That might be something simple like, I'm going to go like make a balanced plate, I'm going to make sure I've protein in my lunch, I'm going to like go walk for 10 minutes, or I'm going to go journal right? immediately. The action is different when we choose things, something here and that leads us to, you know, weight loss or that leads us to just like feeling better about ourselves. So I think step one is being self-aware of the thoughts because we're moving so fast through life. We don't even recognize that so many thoughts, those narratives are playing out inside our heads.

Amber B  21:49  

So what is your favorite way for somebody who maybe hasn't been paying attention to their thoughts? Right, they're kind of running life on autopilot. They don't even recognize the thoughts that they're thinking today. What is your favorite way to help them start to tune into that or start to listen to that or become aware of it?

Amanda Walker  22:04  

Number one for me is journaling. And here's the truth. I was not like a dear diary girl, I never journaled till I was over 30. I told myself the story that I'm like, I'm not a journaler. But what I began to see was that and never putting my thoughts on paper. I was constantly in my, like, conscious, critical thinking brain, and that was preventing me from being mindful with food that was preventing me, I mean, it was creating overwhelm and anxiety in my everyday life. And I mean, to dive deeper into the science, when we're constantly thinking, our sympathetic self is on overdrive constantly, and we're never able to get into parasympathetic. And when that happens, I mean, I don't know about you with the ladies you work with but women are under chronic stress and when you're under chronic stress, and that sympathetic side is in constant go, go, go. It drastically impedes our ability to regulate hormones and what does that do? It prevents us from losing weight. Right. So this is all connected. But I think step one is, you know, get a journal and just start to be mindful of like, what's that story or if that's not available to you yet, it's just pausing to even just go, oh my gosh, like, every morning I wake up, I'm telling myself this story or every morning, I step on the scale, and it's like this form of punishment I'm seeking, you know, to bring myself into this dark place. That's totally unnecessary.

Amber B  23:27  

Mm-hmm. So I love that. And I love that. As you get thoughts down on paper, you can start to really examine them, right? So like, yes, the self-awareness is the first then we can start to examine them and we can start to shift them and that whole pattern that you're talking about, it's set in motion. So I know a lot of women listening to this are probably not journalers. Maybe they're telling themselves the story that you were telling them. I'm not a journaler. I don't like that. That's not something I do. But hearing you talk, maybe they're thinking, Okay, well, maybe I'm going to give it a shot. Maybe this is something that I could try out and we'll see how it works. Do you have any likes of your favorite journal prompts? Or what do you suggest for someone who's like never journaled before? And they're like, I'm gonna try this thing that a man is talking about. They got their pen, they got their paper and others like, what do I do?

Amanda Walker  24:10  

Yeah, sure. First, I want to say before the habit formation piece of it, is that we have to ask ourselves, like, because I have come against that a lot, too. It's like, oh, I'm not a journalist. It's definitely. And so I love to call girls out on like, is that a true story? Or is it just a new skill set? And when there's a new skill, our brain automatically wants to protect ourselves from change and say, Whoa, whoa, whoa, like that's new. That's not possible. So being able to examine that and then ask yourselves like, you know, how has that been serving you up to this point in your life, because clearly you're here, and you're repeating the same practice and not getting any results. So perhaps it's time to try something different. 

Amanda Walker  24:49  

So that I think is important to note first, and then second is, you know, journaling doesn't have to be like Zen and perfect and music and like all that stuff, that could be what it becomes, or you could go ahead and like create that as you develop that practice. But for me, something I was encouraged to do. And of course, I love James Clear's book Atomic Habits from years ago. And I love to geek out on habit formation because I really think lifestyle change is just a bunch of habits all looped in together and you layer them and stack them. However, in the beginning, I think, you know, making sure that you buy a journal, and it doesn't just go into the back, like an office somewhere, but it stays visible, right. So it's a constant cue and a reminder that that's a habit you desire to create. So making it visible, whether it's by your coffee pot or at your desk at work, or it's by your nightstand or whatever the case is, and then just giving yourself the permission to start small, like two minutes. You know, what would two minutes look like if I sat down and I just asked myself the question like, you know, what kind of thoughts Am I thinking on repeat? And you might say, you might find out like, Huh, I'm thinking I hate my body often. 

Amanda Walker  25:58  

You might think like one that I really coach a lot of women through is overwhelm. I am so overwhelmed like a lot of women don't realize overwhelm is a choice, you make the choice to be overwhelmed every single day and you can not make that choice. It's that simple. But you have to choose it again and again. So I think that overwhelm is definitely thought so I would just ask myself like a quick prompt is, what are the thoughts I'm choosing to think, or what are the thoughts I'm giving the most weight to every single day? And then I think to extend that is, you know, again, we're like-minded in like, who do I want to become? Like in a no limitations kind of life, no money, no time. You know, the kids not nipping at your door to come in whatever the case is, like, who do I truly want to become? Because I think you know, a critical part of what I do is I love to walk my clients through visualization so they can truly connect to that future self and see her and believe that she is possible and connect to her every single day. And that might feel whoo to people, but it's true. Like I look at my own life and I, everything that I've been visualizing is literally here true. And now to the point of like, the house I just moved into, is that house I was visualizing. And so, Marie Forleo has a quote something like, you know, “if you can dream it, it is possible, but are you creating the space in your life to dream it“, and when we're moms wearing a lot of hats, I just don't think we create that space.

Amber B  27:26  

Yeah, I totally agree. I think we get so caught up in the doing, and the things that are on our plate and our to-do list and our kids and like all the things that we don't spend the time to, like, ask the question of like, what do I want? If I could create anything, what is it that I could create? And I think one of the reasons that we tend to not do that too, is because once we think about it, we're worried that then we have to like to do it right. And then there's that fear that comes up of like, if you dream, a big dream, and you start to go after it and you don't achieve it, then what does that mean about you? The answer is nothing. But we start to create the story in our head. This is a dire circumstance that if I dream this dream, and it doesn't happen, then like, I'm a failure, and I'm not successful. And so how do you manage that like dreaming big and reaching for big things without creating that story around whether or not you reach it? Like you've dreamed maybe about this house that you've created or where you're at in your business, but what if that hadn't happened yet? How can you continue to work toward something without creating that story around failure?

Amanda Walker  28:31  

Yeah, I think a big part of this is not just I think it's also in food. It's also in life is rewarding action over the outcome. So often, we're like, when I just lose five pounds, I'm gonna go buy that outfit, right or when I just XYZ and so then we miss these little stocks like, I always call them light pole goals, right? Like, if we're running a mile, sometimes, in the beginning, we're just trying to freakin’ get to the next light pole. And so if we're constantly rewarding an outcome and we do this with our children, we're like, just get an A, I'll take you for ice cream. Right. But what about the journey and the steps that they took all freaking year to get to that A? So I think a lot of that is making sure you're cognizant about your ability to reward the action. Like, instead of saying, when I get there, it's like, how can I build in a reward system so that if I have, you know, 30 days of consistent balance plates, or, you know, I set a goal for myself too, you know, work out four times a week for the next 30 days, and I nail it, like, reward that, because if you reward the action, the goal is inevitable.

Amber B  29:32  

I like it. It's like, we're just like little kids, you know, you bribe your kid to like, do the thing that you wanted to do. Like, our brain likes rewards. And so the more that you can build, rebuild in those rewards in that celebration, your brain starts to crave that and so I'm with my clients, I am huge about recognizing and celebrating those little wins that you have along the way and actually like taking the time to celebrate them, because your brain loves that reward, and then it's going to keep doing it to be able to get that reward. So that's something that I find for at least my clients or the women that I work with, they're not very good at. So I asked them, “Oh, how do you celebrate it? And they're like, I don't know, how do we celebrate? Like, what should I do to celebrate? And so that's something that I'll work them through because as you do that, as you take the action and as you celebrate and I call them process goals versus outcome goals, like we're on the same line of like the process goal is within your control, right, the process goal is 100% within your control while the outcome may not be the process goal is 100% within your control, and as you celebrate and reward yourself along the way, like you said, with those process goals, outcome goal is going to be inevitable and you're going to reach there.

Amanda Walker  30:36  

Yeah, and sometimes they want like these big huge rewards like what I don't want to spend money or I'm like, you don't have to know it's just like sitting down and acknowledgment, journaling and being just so aware of like today I'm going to sit down and I'm going to celebrate myself or journal or for me, I use a law of attraction planner and it embeds a lot of those things too. Or, you know, sometimes I say like, let's just do a like a celebration jar and once a week you write a note to yourself. So when you're in that mode of self-doubt, or if you know, you notice you're starting to question because maybe the outcome doesn't look, doesn't meet the expectation you had, right? That whole linear, idealistic, you know, vision that we have of progress isn't being met. It's like, pick up one of those little notes out of your jar and remind yourself that you're kicking butt. And the contrast is a necessary part of the journey.

Amber B  31:26  

Yeah, the celebration does not have to mean that you like something big, but it does need to be in your analogy. And I feel like this has been something that I've had to learn in my journey because I am a personality that I'm just like, like, okay, what's next? What's next? What's next, like, completed, check it off, move on to what's next. And I really had to start to train myself to like, yeah, that's, that's good. And it moves me forward. But like, it's okay to take a pause and be like, I'm really doing proud of myself. Like I did that thing really hard and like pat myself on the back, and then say, Okay, now what's next? And I think that pause is really important and as some of you know, a lot of go-getter women, we don't tend to do that we tend to always be looking into the future. But next step and that next level, and the change that happens when you just take a moment, and you celebrate what you've achieved, and then we can start to say, you know, what's next? This has been so awesome. I'm curious what some of your current health and fitness goals are, like, what are you working on right now?

Amanda Walker  32:22  

Um, this is a great question. And actually, my goal is maintenance. And I actually think it's the hardest goal to hit. Because I find myself you know, I've gone through periods of, you know, just obviously, a fat loss like I discussed, but also focusing on muscle. And my current goal is actually to do the bare minimum to maintain because right now my goals mostly are around building my business and being present with my family. And so fitness takes like a third-place to it, I would say, and I find that that's a really interesting space to be in because I'm doing things like walking, which has never been, which sounds crazy, but it's just I'm really trying to feel into my fitness journey and find what feels good for me. Instead of doing like the next goal to build the next thing. It's like, what can I do that I love right now that helps me maintain where I'm at and just feel good. So it's an interesting and curious place to be.

Amber B  33:24  

That's exciting. yeah, I agree. And I think the problem is that most people don't ever think about maintenance because like all think about maintenance when I get to my goal. And for a lot of women, it is a place that they've never intentionally been before. And so if you think that you can just magically like do maintenance well when you get to your goal, you're going to be shocked to find that there's a lot of things to learn about maintenance, and how much better would you be able to maintain if you practice that along the way and so I think being intentional about maintenance throughout your journey is a really, really, really important part of the process. So that's really awesome. Awesome. So if someone wanted to connect with you or learn more about you or your programs, where can they find you?

Amanda Walker  34:04  

So I too have a podcast which you were an amazing guest on and it is called Feel Amazing Naked. So I'm on all the podcasting platforms. I run a group program like I mentioned and one to one coaching. So you can find that at “feelamazingnaked.com” and on Pinterest and Instagram are the two platforms that I'm most involved in. And I'm actually a walk my way there so you can find me in any of those places.

Amber B  34:29  

Awesome. Thank you so much for coming on Amanda and sharing with our audience. I'm excited for them to take some of the things away that you've talked about and start to implement them in their journey.

Amanda Walker  34:38  

Yeah, thank you for creating the space for me. I appreciate it.

Amber B  34:42  

Wasn't that such an amazing episode? I am feeling inspired to go and start journaling. I think I repeat that story to myself. Oh, I don't really need journaling. Like it's not really for me. It's, you know, it's an extra thing to do with my day. I have so many things to do. I think I'm guilty of repeating that story to myself but I'm really excited to kind of start small like Amanda talked about and just start with some simple couple of minutes of writing prompts and kind of see where that takes me. I'm all about getting more of those thoughts and bringing that self-awareness to myself, because the more I do it with myself, the better I can coach other clients through that as well. So that's something that I'm committed to doing following or leaving this conversation with Amanda and I am super curious if you're going to take her up on the challenge. Are you going to start trying to do some journaling? No, we don't try to do things. We commit to doing things, I'm committed to journaling this week. Are you committed to it? Are you committed to generally this week, and if you are, take a screenshot, put it up on Instagram or put it up on Facebook, tag the two of us and let us know? If you're in if you're committed to that and seeing what that awareness brings to you into your journey. I'm excited to test that out. That now wraps up another episode of biceps after babies radio. I'm Amber now go out and be strong. Because remember my friend you can do anything.

Outro

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