372: Reverse Dieting for Women 40+ with Timili Grady [“I Did It Series”]

Hello and welcome to Biceps After Babies Radio. A podcast for ladies who know that fitness is about so much more than pounds lost or PR's. It's about feeling confident in your skin and empowered in your life. I'm your host Amber Brueseke, a registered nurse, personal trainer, wife and mom of four. Each week my guests and I will excite and motivate you to take action in your own personal fitness as we talk about nutrition, exercise, mindset, personal development and executing life with conscious intention. If your goal is to look, feel and be strong and experience transformation from the inside out, you my friend are in the right place. Thank you for tuning in. Now, let's jump into today's episode.

Hey, hey, hey, welcome back to another episode of Biceps After Babies Radio. I'm your host, Amber Brueseke, and I have another amazing story today. I love the “I Did It” Series, and I know a lot of you love it as well because I get to bring really fantastic women onto the podcast who are just sharing their story. And the beautiful thing about that is that so many of you are going to be able to listen to this story and see yourself in Timili. She's 45. She's perimenopausal. She feels a little bit like a bomb has gone off in her life because everything that used to work doesn't work anymore, and that's kind of the position that she came into MACROS 101 with, and the solution to that was not the solution that she thought it was going to be. And so if you're somebody who, you maybe feel like a bomb is going off in your life, and you don't quite have the control that you used to feel like you had, or you don't quite understand your body like you feel like you used to, this episode and her story is going to give you a lot of hope, is going to give you a lot of guidance, and it's hopefully going to help you to feel not alone in this journey. 

One of the things that we talk about that's been so instrumental in Timili's experience is a reverse diet, which is slowly adding calories over time to ignite and increase your metabolism, how many calories your body is burning. And spoiler alert, she was able to increase her calories by 600 calories a day. So she went from eating somewhere around 1,500 calories to eating 2,100 calories while maintaining her weight. And that, I love it when I get to coach women through reverse, because that is mind-blowing for so many women to feel like, I can eat more. I mean, that's a 33% increase, more than a 33% increase in the amount of calories that she's eating. And she'll talk about the experience of eating more and what it's done for her, her body, her energy levels, and how transformational it has been for her. So let's dive into the interview with Timili. 

Amber B 02:48

I am so excited to welcome Timili to the podcast. Welcome. 

Timili Grady 02:53

Thank you. 

Amber B 02:54

Thanks for coming on and being willing to talk about your story a little bit. I'm really excited for what occurred over the last little while and the lessons that you're going to be able to share with us. So just first, let's do a little introduction and just kind of introduce yourself to my audience. 

Timili Grady 03:08

Okay. I'm a 45-year-old stay-at-home mom, born and raised in Kansas, and I have three kids. Two are in college. One is just starting high school. And just as a family, we like to be active outdoors, just traveling and doing all the fun things that we can experience together. 

Amber B 03:27

I love it. That's so fun. So part of this is really for you to share your story and for other women to be able to maybe see themselves a little bit in your story. So let's start with, I don't know, wherever you want to pick up with your story, whether that's if you struggled with weight for your entire life, or if this is like a menopausal thing, or kind of just where do you want to start your story? 

Timili Grady 03:48

I've never really struggled with weight. I've been pretty just average most of my life until I got into my 40s. I would say probably in the last couple of years have been very challenging. And it's not been just massive weight gain. It's just a little bit of everything. The perimenopausal symptoms as far as the fatigue and just achy bones and joints, and definitely midsection fluff, which is no fun. And just like, I know that I want to work out, but I just don't have the energy to do it. So it's kind of a double-edged sword. Yeah, like what do I do? I never really dieted a lot. But I probably in the last few years really started to pay attention to my nutrition, because I never really had to before. And then all of a sudden, I woke up one day and my body didn't work like it used to or respond to things like it used to. So I just really kind of started to… I got introduced to macros, just searching the internet and looking things up. So I kind of started looking into that just more whole nutrition, because I was eating the stuff that I'd always eaten. And it tastes good, but it does not work well for my body. So I was working out. But there again, the same things that I did before weren't really producing results, like they used to. So that's just kind of, I would say, within the last few years, things really started to change. And so I really started to take a look at what I needed to do differently, because I knew what I was doing and the trajectory I was on is not going to be where I want it to be. 

Amber B 05:45

Yeah. Yeah. Very relatable. One of the things that I find that… And you can tell me if this lands for you, that I find that is hardest about menopause is I think there's this switch between a feeling of control to a feeling of out of control. And a lot of times… And I think that's kind of what you're saying is, I felt like in control. I felt like I had figured out my body. I felt like I was at home and just living my life. And I was very much, I got this. And then what happens is that menopause gets thrown in and it's like this bomb that goes off. And you go from feeling like, I know what to do. I know how my body works to, oh my gosh, there's all these new symptoms I was unaware of. My body is changing in ways that I didn't experience before. And I feel a little bit like, I don't know how to control this. It's all very new and unfamiliar territory. And so there's this feeling of like, how do I regain that control? How do I understand my new body that in this new phase that I'm going through, that is different than it was in my 20s and 30s. And that can feel like a monumental task. 

Timili Grady 06:52

Yes, very much so. Yeah, it is. It's like a whole new body. You wake up and you're like, okay, I'm not familiar with any of these things. And I was just sure I was probably had some kind of horrendous illness. And I walked to the doctor and they're like, no, you're fine. But you have to check my blood again. There's something wrong. I know there is. In fact, there wasn't.

Amber B 07:13

Right.

Timili Grady 07:13

So it's a big change and a big mind shift to try to figure out what to do next. 

Amber B 07:21

Right. Yeah. And regain a little bit of that semblance of control with yourself and your body and knowing how to manage this next phase of your life. So what was the point that you found MACROS 101? What made you come and join? Talk to me a little bit about that. 

Timili Grady 07:37

I have been following you for a while. I found you on Instagram. And I was just kind of following along reading testimonials. And I actually purchased the build your workouts a while back. And I was going through that. I previously, I was really good about going to exercise classes. And that was really, I liked that because it held me accountable. And then I made friends. And then they, you know, expecting me to be there. And it was a regular schedule. And so when I would try to do it on my own, in the past, I would find all sorts of other things to do and push it off, I'll do it later, I'll do it later. And then later would never come. And I had a little, a different, I guess, and in my home situation, I started to babysit my sweet little great nephew, which I absolutely adore and love. And it makes me so happy. But he was not really conducive to taking to the gym. So I had to kind of switch what I was doing. And I was looking for something that I could, you know, wasn't going to take me hours to do. And it wasn't, you know, it was going to be the most bang for my buck, I guess. So I found the build your workouts. And I started using that. And then I just kept following you. And I had done another program. And it was focused on macros and whole foods. But it was one where I know, you've mentioned this a lot. And you're, you know, teaching people to be the macro scientists. I was in the bucket of here, your macros have at it. And so I kind of, I wanted to be able to take control and do it myself, because I had results at first. And, you know, because I was changing my eating, and I was changing my lifting and doing all these things. And I had really good results at first, but then I just kind of dropped off. And I plateaued. And I asked for adjustments, and I got a little bit of adjustment and then never really did anything. So then I just, I kept looking and researching and I kept seeing MACROS 101 pop up. And I'm like, and I was one of those people that waited till like the last day to do it. And I did it though. I'm so glad I did. And I just thought, you know, this isn't going to be something that I just go through and I'm done. Like this is these are things that I can use for the rest of my life. I have two daughters, and they're, you know, college age, and I want to be able to help them and teach them, you know, and give them those, those little tidbits that I didn't have before and teach them good habits, too. And so I just bit the bullet, I read all the, a lot of the reviews and testimonials. And I just decided, you know what, I'm gonna do it. So, here I am.

Amber B 10:53

Awesome. So then you came into MACROS 101, and you started going through the content. And what were some of the realizations? As you started that process? 

Timili Grady 11:03

I was severely under eating. But I am from the generation and the mindset that you're very familiar with that, you know, eat less to weigh less. And I had an unhealthy relationship with a number on the scale, which I really didn't think I did. But you know, we're, we're good as women about like, Oh, no, it doesn't bother me that much. Or it really doesn't bother me. But it really it does. So I realized that. And just that there was more of the, the mental aspect and the the real kind of nitty gritty of the program work that I needed to do that I didn't realize I needed to do. So those are probably the biggest things that I realized. 

Amber B 11:58

Was that hard to, like, to buy into that idea that you were under eating? I think for some women, that's just it's so outside of the realm of possibility of reasons that they could be stuck is that they are under eating. Did you experience that? Or was it like an aha moment? There was like, Oh, yeah, that makes sense. And you just move forward. 

Timili Grady 12:18

Oh, no, it was so hard. 

Amber B 12:19

Yeah. Yeah.

Timili Grady 12:20

It's like, probably one of the hardest things I think I've ever done in my journey. And it was completely backwards from everything I have ever been taught everything I have ever known and ever done. But I had done a little bit of research and you and I had had chatted DMs previously. And I had never heard of any other kind of diet other than just a diet, 

Amber B 12:47

Just cutting calories.

Timili Grady 12:48

Cutting calories. Yeah. And so it was it was a very, very difficult mental block for me. But I just decided that I spent the money and I have, you know, told myself, I'm going to invest in this and I'm going to try it. And honestly, I didn't think I could really be any worse off than what I already was. I didn't feel well, you know, I just thought, 

Amber B 13:11

Yeah, it can't get worse than it is. 

Timili Grady 13:14

Yeah. Exactly. So it was a huge, a huge challenge to overcome. But I just kept reminding myself, trust the process, trust the process. And I've seen other people, you know, in the same boat as me. And I thought, Okay, we're just gonna, I'm gonna do it. And it's not gonna happen overnight. But I'm gonna stick with it so. 

Amber B 13:35

Yeah, so you realize, hey, I'm under eating, I'm not eating enough calories, I need to do a reverse diet, which is the process of slowly adding calories back, right? Totally counterintuitive to most women, because you're like, I want to lose weight, why would I add calories? 

Timili Grady 13:49

Yes.

Amber B 13:50

That's where that cognitive dissonance comes from. As you got started on that process, I'm going to ask you two questions. What was harder than you thought? And maybe was there anything that was easier than you thought? 

Timili Grady 14:02

Uhm, probably harder than I thought, I think was just getting over the the mental aspect of it. Yes, the fear, I thought I'm gonna just blow up. And I'm, you know, even though I was eating, you know, healthy, whole foods, just the amount was so much greater than what I was used to eating. I thought there's just no way and I, I had to keep talking myself down. And kind of the an aha moment for me was when I was, I, it was probably within the first couple of weeks, I reached out on circle and I was like, this is insane. I am eating more and I am hungry. I'm like, what is going on. And then the analogy of stoking the fire came up from one of the coaches. And I was like, okay, that makes total sense. But that was nothing that I ever would have imagined. I in my mind thought I'm going to be eating more. And it's gonna be hard for me to eat more because I'm not used to it. And I'm going to be full. And I'm going to have to force myself. No, in the first two weeks, I think, in fact, I was only supposed to be adding 100 calories. And I ended up adding more like 200 because I was just hungry. And I I didn't want to deprive myself of that. And they were healthy foods and good choices. So I wasn't worried about it. But I, I looked back and I was like, oh my gosh, I jumped like double what I was anticipating doing. So those are probably that was probably the kind of a light bulb moment for me was like, okay, yeah. And that's when I really started to understand that I was not feeling my body the way I needed to. And when I started eating more, I had more energy. And I'm like, oh, this makes so much sense. Why did I wait so long to try this? 

Amber B 15:51

Yeah. And I think maybe like, even, even just having me explain, that's a very normal experience of feeling hungry as you eat more calories. And again, it kind of feels counterintuitive. But if you understand that your metabolism is adaptable to whatever you feed it, it's it is, it's like a fire where if you start putting more fuel on the fire, it's going to burn hotter, your metabolism is going to increase your body's going to burn more calories. And so yeah, you're eating more, but you also your body, you're hungrier. And so that's actually a really good sign that what you're doing is working, right? Your metabolism is adjusting, and it's an adapting upwards, which is exactly what we want in a reverse, we want you burning more calories. Because what's happened with people who under eat is they've been under eating for so long that their metabolism has down regulated, you're burning less calories. And we want to we want to fix that we want to go the other direction.

Timili Grady 16:36

Yes, that's exactly what I experienced. 

Amber B 16:38

So how many calories were you able to add over the time of the reverse? 

Timili Grady 16:44

I added just under 600 calories. 

Amber B 16:47

I love it. So exciting. 

Timili Grady 16:48

And that was it took me about four, four or five weeks, I think to finally get to the maintenance point. And six, almost 600 calories is a lot in general. And then when I think about like, the short amount of time is even more crazy in my mind. But I feel so much better. Really, and just in my energy level, I was napping every single day. And I thought this has got to be my hormones. This has got to be you know, I was never ever in my mind. Did I ever think that it was because I wasn't eating enough? Yeah, because then I was hitting my other macros. And I thought, Oh, this is, you know, this is what I'm supposed to be doing. And this is what it is. And it was not.

Amber B 17:41

How what like, when you look back, I mean, this experience of like having women come in having this realization that they're under eating, having to like coach them through the fear of adding calories going through the reverse. Oftentimes, clients get to the other side of the reverse. And they're like, Oh, my gosh, it's so much better than I thought it was like, I had all this fear. But then you get to the other side. And you're like, this is actually amazing. If you could go back and tell yourself what you know now, to the to the version of yourself that was really scared starting this process, what would you say? 

Timili Grady18:11

Why did you wait so long? And I think I would just say, yeah, just, just definitely trust it. And more so listen to your body. You're very, you're very good about telling everyone in the program, listen to your body, you know, don't just be so focused on, on what you should be doing or what everybody else is doing, because it doesn't work the same way. And I think, I would just say, trust it, listen to your body and just stick with it. It's in the grand scheme of things. It's a very short amount of time. And I weighed the same that I did before eating, you know, like barely 1500 calories as I do now at eating 2100 calories. And it's amazing. So just trying to maybe disintegrate some of that fear and doubt for sure. 

Amber B 19:13

Yeah. Like, a lot of times women will hear this idea of like, listen to your bodies. And that feels like such a foreign concept to them, because they're like, how do you do that? How does one listen to her body? I feel so disconnected from my body, right? I've been trying to control my body for my whole life. How did you find, how did you figure out how to listen to your body? Or what were some aha moments that allowed you to be able to tap into listening to your body and actually paying attention to that? 

Timili Grady 19:39

Ahm, the fatigue for sure. I just kind of started paying attention to, you know, how I was feeling and like, I would hit that kind of brick wall about three, four o'clock in the afternoon. And then I mean, I would just be done. And so I just I started paying attention to that. And when I started would start eating more, I just if I was hungry, I ate, I wasn't going to, like, starve myself or you know, you always say calories in your back pocket. I and if it was a healthy food, I was totally fine with doing it. And after I realized the, you know, metabolisms rubbing up, then I knew, you know, this is what my body needs. And so that's what I need to do. And really, those are those are probably the two biggest things. Because those are two of the things that I had struggled with the most, I would think. 

Amber B 20:35

Did you notice any other you know, you mentioned the fatigue improving? Did you notice any of the other perimenopausal symptoms changing over that time? 

Timili Grady 20:44

Um, sleep might have been a little bit better. And, you know, it's, it's kind of like when you have a newborn, they, you have it figured out for like a couple weeks, and then it turns on its head. It goes, it was a little bit like that. But um, I would say, and also like just achy bones, bones and joints. I mean, there was a point where I would struggle like to just, if I sat too long, I could hardly stand up, because my hips just hurt so bad. And I think the combination of giving my body the nutrition that it needs, and the exercise, you know, and kind of pairing those together has been helpful with that too. 

Amber B 21:30

Yeah. You know, and I think that that is one of the things we talked at the very beginning about how so many women relate to this feeling of, I thought I knew my body. I thought I had everything figured out. I thought I had control. And then menopause is like this bomb that's like, haha, you thought you had it figured out, sucka. Yeah. It's like this whole, you know, upheaval. And you know, not that like macro counting is going to fix every single thing when it comes to menopausal symptoms. But I think that's a very common experience that when you are starting to feel your body, while you're starting to learn to listen to your body, make adjustments based off of the feedback of your body, you are able to maintain some more control and control what you can control. I think that's the thing that I want women to understand is like, you can't control everything, especially when it comes to menopause, right? There are things that are outside of your control that you can do everything “right”. And you still may have symptoms. I mean, that is outside of your control. But when we can control the controllable, then we can at least maintain some semblance of like, I'm doing the best that I can to make this transition as easy as possible for myself.

Timili Grady 22:35

Yes, absolutely. And I, you know, I have a lot of friends, they're all going through the same thing, but we're all different. Something that works for me doesn't work for them and vice versa. And so I think it's a, it's really important to just, it's hard, especially with social media and everything else that we're constantly hit with in our daily lives, you know, to just focus on what's the best for you. But that's kind of what I've tried to do. You know, I know, I wish things would work for me like they do for other people, but life is not like that. So I would much prefer to be, you know, healthy and, and feeling good and be able to be active and do the things with my family that we enjoy doing and not miss out on stuff. And just because I want to have this perception of being like this person over here. So that's what, that was some of the mental work that I kind of went through as far as just, I need to hone in on what is best for me and what is going to work for me. And that's why I just really kind of started to try to focus on what my body was telling me and really, you know, make adjustments according to that instead of what my brain was telling me. 

Amber B 23:55

Yeah. I mean, that is, that is the whole process that I'm trying to like teach you guys inside of MACROS 101 is it's really easy to go on social media and to follow one person who says, this is the way, do this, do A, B and C and you're good to go and everything is going to be fixed. And, but then over here, someone's like, no, A, B and C doesn't work. It's F, F, G and I, you know, like, and you're like, who do I follow? Who, who has the right thing? And what I'm trying to help you guys to realize is like, none of them have the right thing because they don't know you and your body and your lifestyle and the factors that are unique and make up you. And so when we can, of course we want scientific knowledge when we can integrate that into trying something, testing it out for yourself, seeing how it makes you feel, seeing how your body responds. And I love that you pointed out the difference between the data and what I feel, which is how a lot of people make decisions is like, well, I feel fluffy and it's like, well, but what does the data say? Like, is your waist measurement up? Is the, is the average on the scale up? Right? Like what's the data say? Because we make these assumptions in our brain and these leaps of logic, because we have this fear brain that don't actually line up with the data. And so when we can separate those out and look at the data and make decisions from the data, you're able to zero in on what's going to work for Timili, you know, which will be different than what's going to work for your friend, Amanda, you know? 

Timili Grady 25:13

Yeah. And that's really another kind of aha moment. I think was what you were saying about the data. Um, I, I think something just personally for me, I like to see things I'm a list maker. I like to, to be able to like write it and look at it on paper. Um, you know, my phone or the computer or whatever is great, but when I'm, I've always been like a note taker too, just when I'm writing it down. And so having everything in the workbook and like, even though all of my data was in, or is in MacrosFirst, putting it on the piece of paper and just being able to go through and look at it and, and look at the averages. And then what my goal was like, that was really helpful for me. And, and it helped me to just see that it is just, it's just data. Um, you know, the number on the scale has always been, and I don't know why that's just crazy that we give that so much power. Um, but we do, and we all know we do and we still do it, but, um, you know, that has been interesting, an interesting shift in my mindset because, you know, in the past it's like, oh, the scale will go up a couple of pounds and I'm in a frenzy and then you hop on the next day and it's down a couple of pounds. It's like, oh, okay. And it just, just kind of grasping the concept that it's just data. You are going to fluctuate. I mean, I'm a human, I'm going to fluctuate. I don't eat the same thing and have the same movements every single day. So that's okay. And it's going to happen. And it is just data. And then my big thing was when, you know, looking at the days separately, that was a little mentally challenging for me, but then when I would average it out, my average is the same. I'm like, even though I had a day where, you know, I either ate a little bit more or I weighed a little bit more when I averaged it out, it didn't make a darn bit of difference. And that was really one of the things that I enjoyed doing and going back and like just logging everything and looking at it and being able to kind of take a step back and analyze that. And that helped a lot with my mindset for sure.

Amber B 27:23

Really good. It's really good. Okay. Last question. If somebody, if you have a friend who's maybe starting on a weight loss journey, what piece of advice would you give them? 

Timili Grady 27:33

I would say just to do your research and really dig deep and figure out what your goals are and make sure that whatever it is that you're doing aligns with your goals and is going to get you where you want to be. I'm just super thankful. I stumbled across you on social media and, you know, I was one of those, I think in a call or a podcast or something, you said people watch and, you know, like there are the different phases of that. And when you were, when I was listening to you say it, I'm like, oh, that was me. Oh, there I am again. Oh, here I am now. And I think that's important though, because, you know, it is a big, it's a big commitment. It's a big investment in your health and your life. And I've done a lot of the other things. And while they may have worked for a little bit or not at all, I don't know that I really thought about what do I want to get out of this? Sure. I want to be center. Sure. I want to lay way less, but like, what else do I want to get out of this? And I think that's the biggest thing with, with the MACROS 101 program. And I, that was one of the things that drew me to it also, because all the testimonials that I was reading and the reviews, you know, they, that's what the majority of the women say is the mind work is just unmatched. And the fact that we can go back to it because I'm going to need to go back to it. I am in no way, shape or form, like ready to just be like, okay, I did my eight weeks and I'm done. Yay. Let's go. And I went to beyond. So you are not done with me yet.

Amber B 29:19

Yeah.

Timili Grady 29:20

But I, I think just really taking a step back and looking at what you really want for yourself and making sure that whatever it is that you do aligns with that. And I feel like I found the right place. 

Amber B 29:33

Love it. Well, thanks Timili, so much for coming on. Thanks for sharing your story. I know that there are going to be lots of women who relate to many aspects of your story. So I appreciate you being vulnerable and willing to share. 

Timili Grady 29:45

Thank you. 

Amber B 29:46

I hope you felt seen in that episode and maybe have even a little bit better idea about the value and benefits of a reverse diet. I know it's counterintuitive. I know it runs against everything that you've ever learned about eating less being the solution, but it is something that I coach a lot of clients through Inside of MACROS 101 and it can really transform your relationship with your body, with the scale, with food and get you to a place where you're eating more calories. You're not gaining weight. So you can, you know, let go of that fear and really get to a place where you're nourishing your body and you're setting yourself up to be able to lose fat in a healthy, long-term, sustainable way. If you're wanting to come and join us Inside of MACROS 101, head to bicepsafterbabies.com/waitlist and get on the information list for the next time that we open doors to that program. That wraps up this episode of Biceps After Babies Radio. I'm Amber. Now go out and be strong because remember my friend, you can do anything.

Outro

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