SHOW NOTES

We have a very special guest, Jamia Ponder. She speaks to something that I think a lot of you will relate to and that is this idea of putting yourself back on your to-do list. I really wanted to invite Jamia on so we can have this conversation so we could share on how we can start to uncover ourselves and get back to the essence of who we are so that you can show up for the other people in your life at a higher level.

Highlights:

  • Putting yourself on that to-do list means creating a space for you to be fed.  (12:57; 14:54)
  • What makes me happy. (16:41; 18:30)
  • Power of communication. (22:04, 23:32)
  • Acknowledge that we are not perfect. (23:13)
  • Why Mrs. Beside? (26:05)
  • You don’t have to do it all.  (29:25)
  • Learning the power of no. (31:22)
  • It’s a lot but you’re worth it. (36:13)

Takeaway:

Jamia has such a perspective that I think needs to be shared and needs to be talked about and I just love it. She’s making it her mission to help women to come back to put themselves back on their to-do list to find out who they are and to really step into their uniqueness and their unique talents and unique gifts and what makes them them. So that's so exciting. And I really hope that you take the things that Jamia talked about to heart and see how you can start to apply them to your life because we all know that sitting here and listening to a podcast is one thing, but actually taking action that is where the new results in your life are going to come from. 

Introduction 

You're listening to Biceps after Babies radio episode number 106.

Hello and welcome to Biceps after Babies radio. A podcast for ladies who know that fitness is about so much more than pounds lost or PRs. It's about feeling confident in your skin and empowered in your life. I'm your host, Amber Brueseke, a registered nurse, personal trainer, wife, and mom of four. Each week my guests and I will excite and motivate you to take action in your own personal fitness as we talk about nutrition, exercise mindset, personal development, and executing life with conscious intention. If your goal is to look, feel, and be strong and experience transformation from the inside out, you, my friend are in the right place. Thank you for tuning in, now let’s jump into today’s episode.

Amber B  0:48  

Hey, hey, hey welcome back to another episode of biceps after babies radio. I'm your host Amber Brueseke and I'm excited to welcome you to another episode. I first of all, Before we get into today's guest, who is amazing, and I'm excited to share her with you, I just had to say that I really love it when you guys tag me on Instagram and tell me about how you're listening to the episode and what your takeaways are. That's one of my favorite, favorite things. So if you are on Instagram and you aren't yet following me, what are you even doing? Go over, follow me @bicepsafterbabies, and then let me know how you're listening to the podcast. What are you? What episodes are you listening to? What are you loving about the podcast? What are your takeaways? That for me as a content creator, one of the best things that you can do for a content creator, to express your like gratitude is to share it. And so I love that I'm seeing you guys share it on Instagram and on Facebook. And I just wanted to give a great shout out to you guys for spreading the podcast. The podcast is growing. And we're reaching more people every single week. And a lot of that is because of you. Because you guys share the podcast and that means the absolute world to me.

Amber B  1:57  

So today for today's episode, we have a very special guest. This is a guest that reached out to me. We were in a summit together, we were on an online summit together. And she was so genuine and like she reached out to me and just kind of got to know me and then asked that I be on her podcast, which was such an honor. And so I went on to Jamia's podcast, and we had a really, really fabulous conversation. And I will have to admit, going into that conversation I was like, okay, I'm going to do this podcast interview, it's gonna be great. But I didn't have any thoughts of having Jamia come onto my podcast, because she's not really in the fitness realm. That's not really her thing. And so I was kinda like, yeah, I'll go into her podcast, but it's, um, it's not someone that I'm an invite to be on my podcast. And then I had the interview with Jamia, And I just fell in love with her. She was like, our conversation was so effortless. It was so it was she was like, I was talking to another friend. And at the end of the podcast interview, I asked her I was like, will you come on to my podcast because I just enjoyed the conversation that we had on her podcast so much that I wanted to make sure that I was able to bring her on and introduce you guys to her. So yeah, we're gonna be straight up like Jamia is not in the fitness realm. However, she does have a really, really unique perspective. And she speaks to something that I think a lot of you will relate to. And that is this idea of putting yourself back on your to-do list and that we as women, often as we get married, have kids have careers or whatever, we tend to start to fall off of our to-do list like other things start to become more important, right taking care of the kids, you know, supporting our spouse, ex whatever it is for you and we tend to fall down on our to-do list. And Jamia has such a passion and such an energy about helping women to, in her words, put themselves back on their to-do list, taking the things that are important to you and that make you the unique person that you are not mom, not wife, not you know, business owner, but like you at a core essence, and making sure that that's an important part of your day. And I think that message is one that needs to be shared and needs to be heard. And the more I know, I know from my life, and I know from working with thousands and thousands of women, that when we start to take care of ourselves when we start to fill our cup, that we are then able to pour into the cups of others. And I'm sure that you've seen that in your life as well.

Amber B  4:17  

And so, I really wanted to invite Jamia on so we can have this conversation so we could share it with you and you can start to think about how you are taking care of yourself, how are you showing up for yourself so that you can show up for the other people in your life at a higher level. It also helps that Jamia is a fellow wife of a doctor. As most of you know, my husband is a physician and we went through medical school residency and fellowship and I've been through the whole medical training experience. And Jamia is smack dab in the middle of that right now her husband just graduated from medical school and is moving on to residency and so we really connected on that point too. So it's really fun for me to be able to share other women who have gone through that same journey. For those of you who have husbands or partners who have gone through medical school or dental school, or any kind of really like training that isn't over very fast. You kind of know what that is experiences like it's, it's a long one, and so I connected with Jamia on that as well. So without further ado, let's roll that interview.

Amber B  5:40 

I am so excited to welcome Jamia Ponder to the podcast. Hey, Jamia, how are you doing?

Jamia Ponders  5:46  

I'm good. How are you? Thank you so much for having me today.

Amber B  5:49  

I'm super excited for the conversation we're about to have because I think it's one that's going to resonate with so many women in their journeys and they're going to be able to as we have discussed conversation about your journey, that they're gonna be able to see themselves in you. And I think you have some really awesome ideas about things that we as women can actually do, as you say, put yourself back on your to-do list. And so that's what we're going to talk about today. And I'm so excited about that conversation.

Jamia Ponders  6:18  

Yeah, me too.

Amber B  6:19  

Yes. So I'm just a little backstory with Jamia and me, Jamia had me on her podcast. And from the moment that we got on, and we're chatting and talking, I was like, this girl is like, amazing. Like, I just love the conversation we had. I loved what you had to offer and what you had to share. And so then, after we finished the podcast, I sent her an email. I'm like, okay, I want you to come on my podcast, and I want to share it with my audience. So will you just kind of give us a little bit of backstory to who Jamia is? and you know what you're currently doing in online space?

Jamia Ponders  6:52  

Yeah, so I'm like Amber said, my name is Jamia Ponder and I'm super, super, super excited and honored that you have me on your show today. Like she's like Amber said our conversation was, you know, sort of magnetic from the start. And so I'm grateful to be here but my name is Jamia Ponder. I am a mom of three. And my husband is a recent med school graduate. We have been married, we just celebrated our ninth wedding anniversary. But we've been together for just about 14 years. And so, since the moment we met, you know, we always wanted to be a doctor. And so that was what we work towards, but I just didn't realize that it was going to take nine of our 14-year relationship for him to start S, T, A, R, T medical school. And so, you know, it felt like everything was about business, everything's about him. We can't do this because doesn't he has to study or we can't do this because he needs to take the MCAT and so I got into this groove in this routine of putting in him first, right and it was, it's not a bad thing, but when it's all-consuming, it can be in for that many years, right? It's overwhelming. Yes. So everybody gets used to doing that kids’ husband. And it can be overwhelming, especially when it lasts for years and years and years and years. So I hit a very low point, I just emotionally fell apart. And I decided, Okay, I probably need to get some help. So I started counseling, and she asked me two very important questions. She said, One, who are you? And two, what are you most proud of? And when I got ready to answer her, she was like before you answered. Okay. She was like, I already know your mom, know your wife. I know what you do for a living. But what I want to know is who are you? I was like, next question.

Amber B  9:05  

That's your answer?

Jamia Ponders  9:06  

Yes, let's come back, ask me my favorite color. And then she said, What are you most proud of? And like, I already answered that. And she was like before you answer, I'm like, ma'am, listen to me, this is outrageous. So she said, You know, I want to know what you are most proud of, what have you accomplished that you're most proud of? And, you know, for me, like, getting your degree like that, to me, that's not most proud of right? It was just what I did. But everything that I had done, included someone else, I had done it and helped them accomplish it. And so I had this like, void, that was there. And so as I started to work through that, I realized that I didn't even know who I was. I could not describe myself without attaching some external form of validation, and so I began to do some of that hard work right to answer the questions to heal from some of the things that I was carrying. And in that process, the missus beside was birthed. Literally from a place of brokenness because I was like, if I feel like this, right, other women, they, they have to feel somebody feels like this. And even if I just touch one person, I've done my job. So I am the host and creator, founder, CEO, whatever label you want to play it the brain behind the Missus Beside. And like I say it was really birthed from a place of brokenness. And so right now the first extension of it is the podcast. We are in season one and everything in season one is just about that sort of me walking through this journey, but talking to other women who also walk that journey in about taking back and peeling back those metaphorical layers. So we are uncovering whether those layers have been self-imposed, or someone else's place of restriction on you getting rid of that stuff. And getting back to the essence of who we are, so that we can be our best selves. And, you know, truly live happily. So we're on restricting, we're unafraid. We're uncovering, we're undoing, we're unlearning. We're unfiltered when we have to take that stuff off because it's too heavy to carry. So a very long answer to your question.

Amber B  11:37  

Yeah, and something that's so important. And you know, some of you may know that I'm a wife of a physician too. So like Jamia and I definitely both connect on that being you know, the partner of a physician, and that's a long process and my husband went through four years of medical school and then three years or four years of residency and three years of fellowship and we're finally done, but every single one of those steps is like, we moved right? we moved across the country, it's like, we moved for medical school and we moved for residency and we picked up our whole family and we go to new places, and I have to get new jobs and like, and we did that, and I was happy to do that. But, um, this experience of the kind of losing a little bit of who you are through motherhood through marriage through, you know, just even expectations, like you said, that others place upon you. It's something that I think is a lived experience for a lot of women. And that's why I think it's so important to bring Jamia on so that we can kind of bring this to the forefront and start to talk about it and start to talk about how we can start to uncover ourselves and get back like you said, to the essence of who we are. So you say this phrase a lot to help women to put themselves back on their to-do list and I just, I love that mission. So what does that mean to you? Like, what do you want to convey to women who are listening right now?

Jamia Ponders  12:57  

So what that means to me is everybody got a to-do list, right? You got one, the things to do. But my goal is to empower you to put yourself on that list. Because I think in a lineup of things, you know, I always say in a lineup of things, I was nowhere to be found. So putting yourself on that to-do list means that you're creating the space for you to be fed. And whatever frequency makes sense to you, right? Because it's got to be scalable to your life, your lifestyle, where you are in life right now, and finding the joy in your journey. So not if thinning right so if or once that once I get the little list off to kindergarten, then I will be able to do this or once my husband gets finished with this program, then I'll be able to do that or once we get this like if you don't get in the habit of making intentional decisions, making intentional choices, to prioritize yourself, not saying, you know, freak these kids I'm not that but to make it scalable, right for your life. And so if you don't create the habit and create the space of doing that it doesn't just magically manifest. It requires some intentionality. So that's what that means to me.

Amber B  14:15  

It's awesome. So I'm curious what, you had this realization, right. And you had this, like all this experience in the therapist’s office of her asking the question, which, if you're listening, I think those are awesome questions for you to be asking yourself right now. I think those are amazing questions for you to start to ponder over who are you? And what are you proud of? Like if 

Jamia Ponders  14:36

like I did there? 

Amber B  14:37 

Yeah. Yeah, you should start asking yourself those questions. So you had this realization that maybe you weren't on your you weren't a high priority, or you weren't even on your to-do list at all. So once you made that realization, what did that look like for you to put yourself back on?

Jamia Ponders  14:54  

So for me, I came up with the phrase because I had I told y'all I had a little break down in here, and I was like, nobody cares about me. No of all you just take, take, take all of you, you just take for me all day long, nobody gives back to mine. But the reality was that I created that environment. And so I created the space where no one had to think about anything. Oh, mom just does it. Why would you have to think about it, you know, it's like breathing, it becomes this automated response. And it was natural for them to allow me to serve them because that's what I had been doing. And so why would you step in to do something different when I had never communicated that it was ever a problem? So what I started to do was I had to undo it, right? And they say it takes 21 days to make or break a habit. Well, everybody had to get used to it. So I started saying at night, mom's done. And when I say mom's done, that means I've already talked kids in bed. You know, you've got water. You got an extra kiss. You got your story, you've got this, you've got that whatever. I've done what I need to do for that day, and now, I have to decompress. And so unless your head falls off of your shoulders rolling down the hall, please don't find me. You know, and I've, obviously, I've talked to them about like, What constitutes an emergency were break in case of emergency. But for the most part, I need that time to mentally decompress from the day I like to have, especially now with COVID in their home all the time. I need a break. I'd like to practice social distancing now.

Amber B  16:40  

In my own home

Jamia Ponders  16:41 

in my own home, so for me, it meant doing that for my kids creating that space to say, hey, mom's important, I'm still a person, right? And this is what I need and I need you, thank you for respecting my wishes. And then in addition to my husband to say I need one hour in the evening, where I am not bothered, where I'm not bothered. And it's important to me because I needed to clear my space, clear out my mind. And if you want me to be able to get in bed and be present for you, I need to decompress, you know, and create that space, right? That's what I needed. I needed time alone when nobody was touching me. Nobody was bothering me. Nobody was calling my name. I could drink, you know, a cool beverage and I have to share it with someone. I could open my chip bag and not have to look around the corner like is there a child? So that's what it looks like for me and then figuring out what Okay, what do I like to do? What makes me happy? candles make me happy. So I'm a burning candle because I like to smell something good in my house. Do you know? So that is also a part of my self-care. So I think people think, oh, self-care, I need to be hitting the red door. Do you know? It doesn't have to be that skincare, I started a new skincare routine. And so I take the time to do those things. Every day for me, that's how I start feeding back into myself because I want my skin to look nice. I don't want to, like, you know, I'm not offering you a poisonous apple. Oh, but that is what it means to me in a lineup of things to do, just making sure that we're on there.

Amber B  18:30  

Yeah. And it's so good. I think one of the things that you said that really struck me and I think is a really good question for anybody who's listening is what makes me happy. And I think it's funny  I talk a lot with my clients about celebrating wins. And when they have a success or they have a win, I will often ask them the question, how are you celebrating? and nine times out of 10 I'll get like this blank stare of like they have no idea how to celebrate and so then I asked them well, what like, what makes you happy? And I get like another blank stare back. And I think that's evidence of this kind of losing touch with who we are, what makes you happy. And so if you're the journaling type, or if you're, you know, sit and ponder that, like, what makes you happy and getting really clear, because you're right Jamia if we don't, if we don't know what makes us happy, or what kind of space we need, or whatever to be our best selves, we cannot communicate that to our loved ones. And if we can't communicate it, we can't expect it. And so we have to figure it out for ourselves first, and then we can communicate it to our loved ones, you can communicate it to your children to your husband, to like your co-workers, whatever it is, you can communicate your needs, and it but I think one of the problems is sometimes we just don't even know our needs. And that's, and that's where you come in like helping women to start to figure out who I am? What do I like to do? What makes me happy? like, what kind of space do I need? So I mean, I'm so excited that we're even talking about this because it is something that I see so frequently in so many women. So I'm curious when you had this experience, and you came home and you started talking to maybe your husband about this therapy session and kind of what was going to change, maybe set your kids down and kind of talked about what was going to change and how they were gonna, how it was gonna be a little bit different around the house. What was the reaction? What was their response to that?

Jamia Ponders  20:21  

Okay, so, yeah, that's a great question. So what I started to do was I listed things right. So what I did was I put in order of acuity, what I wanted to accomplish first, what would give me the greatest relief first. And so what I did for the kids as I started the moms done thing, and I would talk about it at bedtime, there are no emergencies unless x happens. Because we find it like, we get out of bed to find the meaning of life. You know, Mom, do you think that's a star, how hot do you think stars are? like Now's not the time. Now's not the time. So doing that, because I needed that time in the evening. And then for my husband, it was about creating that space where I had the alarm time. So figuring out, like, how to communicate that was difficult because I don't know about you, I'm talking about my eyes. It seemed like it was an attack. And so it took several conversations of me being like, No, no, that's not what I meant. I'm in this and it doesn't mean that I don't want to be near you, it means that I need this to myself to like, empty my thoughts to slow my mind down to get ready to, you know, move on to the next thing where I can then give my attention to you at that point. So I had to line it up, you know, in order of things that I wanted, what would give me the greatest relief and those two areas that I felt a lot of pressure. I'm always having to be present.

Amber B  22:04  

Yeah. And as you were talking about this, I was thinking what an amazing example this is to your children, right? You have sons, you have daughters, but it's an example of mom making space for herself and like a mom taking care of herself. And I don't know about you, but, I want my children to grow up and communicate their needs. And I want my children to be able to like, explore themselves, and be able to become who they want to be and know themselves. I want my children to be able to do that. And so as a mom, when I can be intentional about that and create that example for them, like what a great example they're going to grow up and they're going to be like, yeah, my I like my mom took care of herself. She had limits and she said, this is what she communicated. this is what I need. And you know, you were a better mom because of it. So I for those of you listening, I think, especially for moms, we want these things for our children. And then we don't take time to do them for ourselves.

Jamia Ponders  23:05  

Yeah, we say use your words, right? You tell the kids all the time. Hey, use your words, use your words, like use your words.

Amber B  23:12  

right, right

Jamia Ponders  23:13  

and I think, part of the issue too, is saying it out loud. Right? So saying it requires a piece of admission, it requires admitting that this is an area of lack. And it means we're not perfect. It means we don't have it all together. But since you don't, we don't. I don't,

Amber B  23:31  

nobody does.

Jamia Ponders  23:32  

Nobody does. So say it out loud. Say it. I am tired as a mother freek. As I need, you know, you're, we're not perfect. And I think part of that, he beauty in that, like you were saying is being able to transfer that to our kids. Because even when the kids do something if they don't listen to something I say we say follow directions the first time if they don't listen to something that I say and they are doing the start opposite, or I say, hey, grab a towel, go take a shower, take your bath, it's time to take your bath. And they're not moving and I've said it now three times. And normally I'll be like that instead of doing that. Now I say, You know what? I've asked you three times. And it makes me feel like you don't respect me when you don't listen, and you don't follow mommy's directions, as you very simple but I said it, you know, I'll say it hurts my feelings when you don't follow my directions. And I find that I get a better response from them when I tell them how it makes me feel. And in doing that, then you create a situation where now they want to tell you how they feel, you know, if they're sad about something, and so I want to start turning those habits but it starts with you. Right, it starts with me being able to make those adjustments because whatever we're modeling for the kids is what in turn that to a hundred percent.

Amber B  24:59  

Yeah. So when I found Jamia and I found her podcast and her Instagram, her Instagram handle is the Mrs. Beside and for some reason as I was just scanning that I read the Mrs. behind and it kind of made sense to me the Mrs. Behind like the med student doctor right the Mrs. Behind like supporting him and lifting him up. And then I reread it and I was like, Oh no, it's Mrs. Beside which I love even more because sometimes it can feel like we are behind and I felt that myself right. As we're moving everything's about my husband's career like it's about furthering his career. It's about reaching for his goals like his goals are our family's goals right for many many years. And so I can relate to what it feels like to be the Mrs. Behind and I love this idea of like the Mrs. Beside so what like what caused you to choose that and what does that mean to you to be beside your husband and how are you reaching for your own goals while still supporting his right because that's what we want the best for our husbands. We want to have them be successful. But how do we do both?

Jamia Ponders  26:05  

So, yeah, I always heard that old adage that says, behind every great man is a great woman or behind every good man is a great woman or however you want to spend it. And so I thought it was true, but not necessarily true, right? Because in a marriage, as you both we both know, there's no such thing as 50/50, it's both people giving 100% but my thing is that it's me standing beside him. His role is not more important than my role. And vice versa, right. We both have unique roles that contribute to the greatness of our family. And so I think that for me, I felt and I've seen where the role of the spouse has been diminished. And so, you know, I'll hear people say, Oh, well, I'm just a stay at home mom, like this. That's work. Okay, that is an entire job to run a household is a job. And so, you know, some of us have jobs outside of jobs but it's not any less important than what your spouse's doing. And so my thing is we stand beside each other. My, our job is to lean on each other for strength and support. And so I am the Mrs. Beside. But I'm more than just the Mrs, right? I'm still Jamia and so it was the idea that yes, I am the Mrs. Beside. My husband and I celebrate that. I am a wife, you know, I'm married as such. I'm a wife. But I'm not just that I'm not just Maddie Mackenzie and Madison's Mom, I'm not just a wife. I am Jamia and I'm unique and I'm intelligent and I'm kind, and I'm carrying all of these descriptors that describe me that makeup who I am. So that's kind of in a long, roundabout way how I got to Mrs. Beside. So yeah,

Amber B  28:13  

Yeah. And it's so funny. I don't know if you do do the same thing but I always say that we went to medical school, I'm like we went to medical school at Penn State and we went to residency and then people look at me they're like, Did you go to medical school to and I'm like, No, but Yeah, I did. Right like

Jamia Ponders  28:28  

but actually, I did,

Amber B  28:29  

but actually, I did because like, it's the whole family like my whole family went to medical school. That is something that you do as a family. And so I think and that's not just unique to physicians wife's like, you're listening to this and your husband's an engineer or a plumber or like, whatever it can still you can still be defined by like, what your husband does, and what it looks like for you to be that and like, we're not saying give up that right. You're saying be that and also be Jamia and the things that Jamia uniquely has to offer the world. That's and finding and sharing those with the world is, is so important. So if you had to, as you've kind of done a little bit of this self discovery and kind of started to maybe unlearn some things and peel away layers, what are some things that you've discovered about Jamia over the last little while?

Jamia Ponders  29:25  

Um, so one thing, a huge thing is I don't have to do it all. So I felt like, that was me being a good mom, that was me being a good wife, right? That I would fold the laundry and do the, you know, run the errands and grocery shop and cook the meals and prepare the meals and that was my job. And my mom always used to say, Oh, you know, you're gonna have to be strong because one day you're going to be someone's wife and you're going to be someone's mother. And you're gonna have lots of things to do and the one piece that she didn't tell me was that I didn't have to do it alone. And so that's one thing that I have learned over the years that I don't have to do it alone. His version of a clean bathroom is cleaner than it was. My kids folding a towel or washcloth that's going to get unfolding anyway, is still better than me having to do it myself, you know, and picking whatever the thing is. So my thing might be dishes, right? I might not be able to go to bed if there are dishes in this thing, but I will sleep like a newborn baby in the daytime, with clothes, clean clothes in the basket, like it doesn't bother me. So realizing that you don't have to get everything done in a day. Get your high priority things done, and leave the rest.

Amber B  30:48  

So good. So I'm curious. As you're looking back, you know, you said you kind of had this breakdown moment you went to a therapist kind of like this kind of coming to Jesus moment. What are some of the mistakes that maybe you made prior to that, that you could share with the listeners? So maybe that they can prevent them from making some of the same mistakes?

Jamia Ponders  31:12  

Yeah, so I would say I definitely took on way too much. So I say learning the power of no.

Amber B  31:18  

yeah, it's a big one. Yeah, that's a big one. 

Jamia Ponders  31:22  

Yeah. And teaching our families that too, right. Not now doesn't mean that ever, but it means that I can't do that right now. Another lesson that I learned was, it doesn't always have to be so much. Right. So I felt like that had to be the Pinterest mom. I got to make sure all of the things are there. And it's nothing wrong with that. But when it becomes when it comes to a point where it's stressing you out is too much. So relax, live in the moment live in the now your kids are only going to be this age for today. You know, they're you're, you're only going to have today. So maximize today, fill it with love. And don't stress over the things that you can't change, figure out how to focus on the blessings and draw more blessings to yourself, right, we focus on the negative, you typically tend to only see those things. So find the good, find the joy in the journey, the joy right now.

Amber B  32:22  

So good. I'm curious, what are some of the goals that you're currently working on?

Jamia Ponders  32:29  

So, right now, one major goal is I'm writing a workbook to go along with season one. So it will be about all of those things right: the unlearning, the undoing, the uncovering, the unfiltering, unafraid, and each, it will follow the episodes for season one. And so in that workbook or that memoir, each person that has that journal will be able to ask themselves the hard questions. So my thought behind it is, everybody may not be comfortable going to a therapist, everybody may not be comfortable chatting with a girlfriend about it. But there is a way that I always talk about scalability that we can start to ask ourselves those questions. And so in there will be like a little synopsis of the things that mean the most to me out of each one of those episodes, and then asking some of the questions, either A that I've been asked or B that I'm asking you to ask yourself that I've already asked myself. So my commitment has always been that I'm not going to ask you to do anything that I haven't done. And I'm right in the thick of it with everybody else. So this workbook is a major goal of mine, that I intend to lift off the ground in the fall that will be available for people to start to ask themselves the questions to get them to a place of the essence of them, figure out what makes them happy. Well, you know, who are you? And maybe even answer some of those questions with how I answered it, right like I don't even know where to start. So that is a major goal of mine right now, in the future big long term goals. I see myself hosting retreats, where I literally take everything off of your plate and just pour back into the women that come to this conference or this retreat rather. so those are my goals. 

Amber B  34:26  

That's so cool. So if someone so first of all, those of you who listen to podcasts know that I'm all about asking these awesome questions. So that workbook sounds like something that is so good, something that's going to be so good for women who are looking to ask themselves those hard questions and really get better answers. So I'm really excited. So if somebody is like, yeah, I want to be able to download that, I want to be able to follow Jamia and, you know, check out your podcast, where is the best place for them to find you and to connect with you?

Jamia Ponders  34:55  

Yeah, so I can be found on any platform right now. I even have a tik tok account. It's very active but you can go to my website www.themrsbeside.com. I am on Facebook at The Mrs. Beside Instagram, Mrs. Beside and then The Mrs. Beside podcast is on all major platforms. You know iTunes, Google play store, Spotify, Pandora, I Heart Radio so you can listen to it in a myriad of places. 

Amber B  35:29  

That's awesome. Yeah, definitely go and follow Jamia and the Mrs. Beside and listen to her podcast. She has such alike, a perspective that I think needs to be shared and needs to be talked about and I'm just, I just love it. You're making it your mission to help women to come back to put themselves back on their to-do list to find out who they are and to really step into their uniqueness and their unique talents and unique gifts and what makes them them. So that's so exciting. If there's one last thing that you want to make sure you say either reiterate something you've already said that you think is really important or something that maybe we haven't talked about. Is there one last thing that you want to leave those listeners who are still listening to the podcast?

Jamia Ponders  36:13  

Yeah. So I know that we set a lot, I said a mouthful. But one thing that I always sort of go back to is, and it's kind of my tagline, but it's a lot but you're worth it. You know, you're not asking too much. You're not thinking, you know, crazy. Some of these can exist in isolation. So speaking out about some of those things and really starting to get back to, again, who you are, can help to alleviate a lot of that stuff. You'll live a happier life and it'll start to bleed out and spill out in a positive way in other areas. So it's a lot but you're worth it.

Amber B  36:51  

It's a lot but you're worth it. I love, love, love that. Thank you so much to me for coming on the podcast and sharing your wisdom with our listeners. I am so grateful that you made it here today and we get to share you with everybody listening. I hope you really enjoyed that episode with Jamia. If you did go over to her Instagram account, let her know what your takeaways were from the episode. There is nothing better than hearing that you've touched someone's life or that you had someone who had a realization because of you. And I really hope that you take the things that Jamia talked about to heart and see how you can start to apply them to your life because we all know that sitting here and listening to a podcast is one thing, but actually taking action that is where the new results in your life are going to come from. That wraps up this episode of biceps after babies radio. I'm Amber now go out and be strong because remember my friend you can do anything.

Outro

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