SHOW NOTES

This topic came up during the coaching call, I observed from the questions raised was that they didn't really know what to expect during maintenance. So that got me thinking about my relationship with food and about how I view food and how I use it in my life. And wanting to share that because I think it is really important to start this conversation off with. I believe that we all have different needs and the idea that one size fits all doesn't fit anybody well. So, let's dig in.

Highlights:

  • Relationship with food as a process that requires intention and work (7:18)
  • How do I don’t track anymore (17:43)
  • I don’t ever feel any guilt (21:07)
  • Overeating is not the same as binging (23:15)
  • I don’t  always align my food choices with my goal (25:10)
  • I never feel restricted  (26:51)
  • Making choices without the feeling of being restricted  (32:03)
  • There is a way to have a good relationship with food that is effective for you (34:51)

Takeaway:

That's where I'm at, that's how I approach food. It's how I go through my day in terms of food, and my hope is that offers you some insight into a possibility. Again, it doesn't mean it's the right possibility, it doesn't mean that this is the right way to do food and nutrition. This is what has worked for me. I don't believe that there is a right way to have a relationship with food, I don't believe there is one right way to have a relationship with food, I do believe there is a way that is effective for you. So I hope that this was helpful to you, as offered us some perspective and offered us some insight into the way that I view food. And that you can take some of the ways that from this episode and hopefully apply it. 

Introduction 

You're listening to Biceps after Babies radio episode number 123

Hello and welcome to Biceps after Babies radio. A podcast for ladies who know that fitness is about so much more than pounds lost or PRs. It's about feeling confident in your skin and empowered in your life. I'm your host, Amber Brueseke, a registered nurse, personal trainer, wife, and mom of four.  Each week, my guests and I will excite and motivate you to take action in your own personal fitness as we talk about nutrition, exercise mindset, personal development, and executing life with conscious intention. If your goal is to look, feel, and be strong and experience transformation from the inside out, you, my friend are in the right place. Thank you for tuning in, now let’s jump into today’s episode.

 

What to expect during maintenance? 0:47  

Hey, hey, hey, welcome back to another episode of biceps after babies radio. I'm your host, Amber Brueseke, and I'm excited about today's topic. This was a topic that came up in a coaching call. There was a question that somebody asked, they were at maintenance, and they had some struggles with it and they were asking me some questions and it was very evident from the questions that were being asked that they didn't really know what to expect during maintenance. They weren't really sure what this time was going to be like, and what was normal and what wasn't normal. And I find that this is very common because most women, for most of their life, haven't or don't spend a lot of time focusing on maintenance. For most women, their life is a cycle of trying to lose weight and then falling way off the wagon and not caring at all. And then trying to lose weight again, and then falling off the wagon, and it's a cycle of extremes of always trying to lose weight, always trying to get smaller, or being way off the wagon. And not very many women focus on, okay, this is a period of time where I'm going to eat as much as possible, intentionally maintain and find that middle ground, find that sweet spot. And so inherently because not a lot of women do that frequently during their life, when we get to this place, when I get clients to a place of maintenance, they're not really sure what's normal, they're not really sure what to expect at that time. And it can bring up a lot of questions of, Hey, this is what I'm experiencing. Is this normal during maintenance? And during this coaching call, I had to reassure people that that was totally normal, that was a normal thing to experience during maintenance. And it just feels weird and new to you because this is a weird and new experience. And you aren't sure what is normal and what isn't. And over time, it's going to become the new normal for you. 

 

My intentions of why sharing this topic with you   3:48  

So that got me thinking about my relationship with food and about how I view food and how I use food in my life. And wanting to share that because I think not because I think that I have the perfect relationship with food, which I think is really important to start this conversation off with. I'm not sharing this because I am saying this is how you should model your relationship with food. I believe that we all have different needs. And we all have different lives. And we all have different things that are going to work for us. In fact, if you're a member of Macros 101, you know that that is a big thing that I teach and help you work through is this idea that one size fits all doesn't fit anybody well. And so instead when we can put on our scientist hat and sort of figure out what's going to be effective and enjoyable for us, and build our plan around that, it's so much more powerful than thinking that there's only one right way to do things. And so this podcast episode is not saying that this is the right way, that this is the right relationship that you should have with food, or even that you should model my relationship with food. The intention of me sitting down and recording this podcast about my relationship with food is to give you insight into someone else's life. Right? You only know what you know, and you know how you've experienced life, how you've experienced food, how you've gone through life. And sometimes the outside perspective of somebody else can click something for you, can help you to be able to see what's possible in a different way. And I think that's one of the biggest benefits of being in a community or listening to different people share because all these new perspectives really open our minds up to opportunities that sometimes we don't really see as available to us.

 

People see the world from different perspectives  4:42  

And I had this experience this past year that is kind of silly or feels silly to me to share because it was such an earth-shattering experience and yet looking back, it really shouldn't have been and it's kind of embarrassing to say that it was so earth-shattering for me. So about a year ago, I went to a mastermind retreat for my business. And at that retreat, we had a personality expert come in, and talk about personalities and how essentially we see the world differently, right. And different personalities experience the world differently and, and make sense of the world differently. And as we were going through that experience, and he was talking to me about my personality, and he like, nailed my personality on the head of somebody who is very linear of somebody who is very stepped by step oriented, who wants to take big concepts and break them down into small easy pieces, who wants things presented in a very, like, methodical scientific, linear fashion. And I was like, yes, yes, yes, and yes, like that is, that's the way that my brain thinks and the way that my brain operates. And that's all well and good until I started listening to some of the experiences of some of the other people in the room. And that was not the way that they saw the world. And it kind of blew my mind, which feels silly to say that it blew my mind that people saw the world so differently. So I'll give you an example. My personality type, again, likes very linear, organized, teaching. And the personality presenter is not my type. And the way that he presented his presentation felt very scattered to me, it felt very, like haphazard, it felt like there was no flow to it, it was like he talked about one thing, and then he jumped to the next thing, and it would not tie in. And in my mind, it would have been much better if he had literally gone through and like talked about each of the types, or if he like, went around and told everybody what type they were, and then talked about, I mean, I just had like all of these ideas of like, how he could have made this presentation better. And it was funny because I was talking to somebody else who was a different personality type and they loved the way that he put his presentation together. And it was just such this realization for me that, again, we see the world in such different ways. And we all hold different perspectives, we all have different personalities, we all have different brains, and things are going to resonate differently for different people. 

 

My relationship with food changes over time  7:18  

And so we all are walking around with a filter. And that filter is sometimes helpful and sometimes harmful. And what we can really get good at is figuring out when that filter is helping us and do more of that. And when that filter is maybe holding us back and how we can maybe try a new filter on, try a new pair of you know, colored glasses to be able to look through the world and try a new perspective on. And so I'm going to share my filter today because it's worked for me. And I offer it as a perspective of something to try on and see, Hey, does that work for you? And then also as just an experience to give you an insight into somebody else's experience, someone else's relationship with food, and hopefully, you're able to take something away from that for your life. So let me start out by saying that my relationship with food as your relationship with food likely has changed over time. And this is not like I woke up one day and this was the relationship that I had with food. It was a process of learning and learning lessons and having experience and being intentional about the relationship that I was creating with food. And so if you're listening to this, and some of the things that I sound, some very far out of the realm of possibility or sound very, like you're very far away from that, I want you to know that it's not, you're not going to just wake up one day and have this wonderful relationship with food. It is a process and it's a process that requires intention and requires, you know, working on, it doesn't just magically, you don't just magically fall into it. 

 

Fitness and weightlifting are just part of the normal things women can do.  9:00  

So just know that you're hearing my chapter 17 not necessarily where I am at my chapter one. And so you've probably heard the saying don't compare your chapter one to someone's chapter 17. So to give you a little bit of perspective, I've talked before about my experience growing up, I had a mom who taught fitness classes and was very into fitness. Some of my earliest childhood memories are from the YMCA childcare. Being able to there was a window actually in between the childcare where we stayed while my mom taught classes and then her class and we could actually see into the class. And some of my earliest memories are being in the YMCA childcare and watching through the window as my mom taught her class. And so at a very young age, it was modeled for me one, that fitness was important. Two, that women could be strong and lift weights. When I was 14 years old, my mom took me to the YMCA weight room, because you had to be 14, and she showed me the weights. She showed me the dumbbells. She showed me the machines. And she very much from a very young age normalized weightlifting and women getting strong for me. And I've talked before about how that has really changed the trajectory of me in terms of fitness in just seeing that as a very normal way of life, and seeing weightlifting as a very normal thing for a woman to do. 

 

Influences of my mom on food behaviors (moderation in all things)  10:33  

In addition to that, my mom modeled food behaviors that were very beneficial to me. And I know that not everybody has that same experience. And if you're listening, you may have the experience that's opposite of mine, where maybe your mother modeled a lot of dieting or modeled a very black and white perspective of food. And so your experience may not be the same as mine and that's okay. Because I think that any one of us can always be the link that breaks the chain. Right, so if there's been a chain of dieting and poor relationships with food and poor relationship with a body in your history, you can be the one that breaks the chain, and changes it for those who are down the line, who changes it for your children, or your grandchildren, or, you know, whoever comes after you. But my experience was that my mom really modeled moderation in all things. We had lots of healthy dinners, my mom cooked at home almost every night, lots of chicken, lots of vegetables. So we always had a sit-down dinner. And at the same time, one of her favorite things to do was to go out and get Slurpees and doughnuts. So remember, again, from a very young age that we would sometimes go to the gym with my mom, she would teach her class, and then we would swing by and we would get Dale's donuts down the street. And that was kind of like our treat after going to the gym. And so I saw this behavior model where yeah, we ate a lot of healthy foods and at the same time, we would go out and get Slurpees or we would go out and get doughnuts, and my mom would eat those. And it was never forbidden, it was never, you know, a thing that like, I heard her say, oh, these are bad, and I shouldn't eat these and I never saw that modeled. I saw that balance of Yeah, we eat healthy food and we also enjoy candy and we also enjoy soda. And we also enjoy going and getting Dale's doughnuts. 

 

My first time to intentionally lose weight  12:34  

And so that was my experience growing up seeing that model, then I went away to college, and at that point gained the freshman 15. And really was at the point of the first time of my life where I was like, maybe I need to like, get this together. You know, things are changing in a way that I wasn't familiar with previously. And so I tried my first time at trying to lose weight at this point, like intentionally trying to lose weight. And I did what most people do because it's what's modeled for us is this idea that like I need to cut everything out, right, I need to cut out pizza and I need to cut out ice cream and just like anything “unhealthy” I need to cut out. And that absolutely swung me into that binge and restricted cycle where I would do really good for Monday through Thursday, and then Friday would come and I wouldn't be able to white knuckle it anymore. And then I would eat all the pizza, and all the ice cream and all the things and then recommit Monday towards okay, now this time I'm going to buckle down, this time I'm going to do better. And as you may be innately familiar with that cycle never works. And if you're stuck in that cycle now and you're resonating with what I'm saying, like I learned that, that does not work, it doesn't actually produce the results that I wanted. Because it's not sustainable. It's not something that I could keep up for a long time. 

 

How macro counting help me lose weight effectively and enjoyably 13:58  

And so it wasn't really until I found macro counting that I was able to effectively lose weight, effectively do it like have it be effective, and also be enjoyable at the same time. And so this tool that I learned about, this tool of macro counting allowed me to find that balance, allowed me to find this sweet soft spot where yes, it was effective, and it was enjoyable and that changed everything. And that is why I teach the tool of macro counting to my clients not as a diet, not as this is the way it has to be but as a tool to be able to assist them in their journeys. 

 

Where I am at my present fitness journey 14:34 

So that's a little bit about my history and where I've, I've come from through the years. And now let's now talk a little bit about where I am today. So the first thing I want to let you know is that I don't track anymore. I tracked macros for a couple of years.  I had some very specific goals. Many of you may know that one of my first goals was to get a six-pack. That's really what started this journey in 2016 and was the kickoff for creating the business of biceps after babies. And once I hit that goal of getting a six-pack, I then set a new goal and it was to be able to look strong. Like I wanted to actually have, like, look at me and say like, she looks strong, she has a good amount of muscle. And so I was able to use macro counting, again as a tool to manipulate it to be able to support that new goal, that new goal of gaining more muscle, and I was able to gain more muscle over a six month period of time than I had been able to gain for the prior six years that I had been teaching body pump. And that was because one, I started actually implementing progressive overload. And two, because I aligned my nutrition to support that goal. And so that was my second goal. Once I had an appreciable amount of muscle, my third goal was to actually get strong, you may know that looking strong, or having a lot of muscle in your appearance is not the same as being strong. They're not the same, there is overlap. Of course, there's overlap between those two things, but they're not the same. And so I wanted to actually not only look strong, but I wanted to actually be strong. And this is when I got into powerlifting. And again, I use macro counting as a tool to be able to support the goal that I was setting, to be able to support getting stronger.  

 

How my nutrition support my goal 16:28

So I had these three very different phases kind of during my journey. But the consistent thing was, is that I was making sure that my nutrition was supporting that goal. And that was how I would use macro counting. I'm at the point in my journey that I don't really have any very specific goals. I feel like I have a decent amount of strength, I feel like I have a decent amount of muscle mass, I'm not really looking to get lean and stay super lean year-round. And so right now I'm in a period of really maintaining and kind of just enjoying my workouts, enjoying going to CrossFit. Trying new things using my strength in new ways. And I'm kind of just at this just maintenance point where I'm just enjoying living. And because of that, I don't have any specific goals that I really want or need to support with tracking and so I don't. And I haven't tracked for probably, I don't know, two, three years. However, the period of time that I spent tracking has allowed me to be able to not track and still feel like I have some understanding of my nutrition and what my body needs, and the serving sizes that I need. 

 

No. 1 How I don’t track anymore 17:43

So here's how I go throughout my day. Again, it's not necessarily the right way to go throughout your way, but this is what works for me. And I get this question a lot because people don't want to track forever, which I'm totally in support of. I'm totally in support of helping my clients to be able to make that transition away from tracking. But people wonder when I make that transition away from tracking Amber, what does that look like on a day to day basis? Are you calculating your macros up in your head? Like how are you going through the day knowing that you're getting in the nutrients and macros that you need? So for me, I don't total up my macros in my head. It's not like I'm going through my day and being like, Okay, that was 20 grams of protein. Okay, I'm now at 110 grams of protein for the day. I don't do that. What I do, do is think about throughout the day, asking myself the question like, what am I low on? So looking through the day as a whole and you know, when I get to my lunch or when I get to my dinner, looking back on the day and saying, Okay, what am I probably low on? Have I had enough protein today? Have I had enough carbs? Have I maybe not eaten any fat today? What am I low on and how can I include that in this meal? So for example, if I've eaten maybe a lot of carbs for breakfast and lunch, and I get to dinner, and it's like I haven't really had much fat today, I've had a lot of carbs and protein, but I haven't had too much fat. Let's have salmon or let's include bacon in a recipe or let's add some cheese or something to where I can add some fat. So while I'm not adding up the numbers in my day, I'm keeping kind of a track of like an overall, what am I consumes during the day, and what am I low on. I do pay, you know, specific attention to my protein intake to make sure that I'm getting enough protein. But again, I'm not adding it up in my head. I just have a sense that I've eaten 130 grams of protein in the past and I know what that feels like, I know what food selections I need to make to eat that. And I can just go through my day and kind of pick those food selections. And now by the end of the day, yeah, I can. I've had enough protein or maybe I need to have some more protein. So that's how I do it. Again, not the right or wrong way to do it. That's just how it works for me.

 

How tracking taught me portion sizes and nutritional compositions of my foods 20:00

Because I've tracked, I've learned portion sizes, I understand portion sizes, so I don't need to weigh out my food anymore, because I've done it enough that I can now eyeball portion sizes. So tracking taught me portion sizes, I now know the nutritional composition of my foods. So again, I don't have to track that. I know what is in each of the foods that I'm eating. So I know that when I'm eating a banana, I'm eating mostly carbs. When I'm eating salmon, I'm having some protein and some fat. And I have an understanding of the nutritional composition of my food. And I think that is one of the biggest takeaways that you will get from tracking for a period of time is understanding portion sizes and understanding the nutritional composition of your foods. And those pieces of information don't leave your brain when you stop tracking. Those pieces of the information stay and allow you to continue making choices based on that information that you kind of hold on to even after you are stepping away from tracking. 

 

No. 2  I don’t ever feel any guilt 21:07

Okay, the second thing that I want you to know about my relationship with food is that I never ever, ever, ever, ever feel guilt, ever. I don't ever feel guilt with any, any food choices. I really have gotten to the place where anything is just feedback for me, that does not have an ounce of judgment attached to it. Now, it's really important for me to have you understand that that does not mean that I always align my food choices with my goal. I think there can be this assumption that, yeah, Amber, it's really easy to like get to that place of not feeling any guilt. Because you probably always eat well. You always eat healthy, you always align your food choices with your goal. Hold up a minute, that's not even true. I do not always align my food choices with my goals. And also, I still don't feel guilt. I really have gotten to the place where I look at everything as a choice, I'm able to put take emotion out of the picture, put my scientist hat on. And guilt doesn't ever enter the picture. For me, it's not something that I feel. Now, I haven't always been that way. Absolutely 100% in the past, I have eaten something and felt really guilty and shameful of it because it didn't support my goal or because you know, I fell off the wagon, “fell off the wagon”. So again, this has not been my experience forever. However, I am to the point where I don't ever, ever feel guilty about any food choices. It comes down to that being a choice, there's no judgment associated with that. And that is a very freeing place to be with food. It's not emotional, I hesitate to say that food is not emotional, because there is absolutely an emotional component of food 110%. For me, there's an emotional component to food. But it's not emotional in the way that is judgment oriented, or that is shame or guilt-inducing, okay. 

 

No. 3  I choose to overeat sometimes 23:15

Number three, I overeat. Okay, and I think that that was something that came out in this question that I started the episode off with, when someone was asking a question about being in maintenance, and then “binging”. And I think it's really important for you to understand that I overeat. And that is not the same thing as binging. Okay, overeating is eating past satiety. That's what overeating is. And in my mind, the difference between overeating and a binge is the choice that's associated with it. So I will sometimes choose to overeat, I will eat to the point where my stomach hurts, or where I don't feel great afterward. I choose to overeat sometimes, that's not the same thing as a binge, which is an out of body experience where it's not really a choice and things are happening, right. You're eating kind of without thinking. So I absolutely overeat. And in fact, I can tell you a story. I think it was probably two weeks ago, I was getting ready to go to the grocery store. And there was some rolo’s and I grabbed like five rolo’s and eight, five rolls, and got into the car and like got drove to the grocery store and got out of the car at the grocery and I was like I don't feel good. Like I ate, I probably ate too many of those rolo’s for feeling good. And again, there was no shame or guilt associated with that. It was just a feedback of Hey, next time maybe I should only eat three rolo’s so that I can feel a little bit better. And so everything Yes, while I overeat while I get to the point where I eat past satiety or eat past what actually feels good. It really comes down to it being a choice and having no guilt or shame associated with that choice, it really starts to just become that feedback for me. 

 

No. 4  I don’t always align my food choices with my goals 25:10

Number four, I kind of talked about this a little bit before, but I want to focus on it,  that I don't always align my food choices with my goals. Okay, just because I have a goal, and I know how to manipulate my food choices to support that goal. It doesn't mean I always choose to do that. And I think that is a really important thing for people to understand. Because the goal isn't to get to the point where every single thing that you do is aligned with your long term goals. That's not the goal. The goal is for you to be intentional about your choices, to be thoughtful and cognizant of making intentional choices. Sometimes those intentional choices aren't supporting what I want in the long run, but I'm still making them intentionally, okay. We're always balancing short term benefits, long term benefits, you know, what we want now versus what we want in the future. And sometimes, I make a choice for a short term enjoyment over a long term benefit. And, to me, that is still a win, because I'm making a choice. Now, when it comes to the place where you feel like you're not making a choice, it's not intentional, it's just happening to you. That's where the place where I love to help clients be able to get to that place of owning their choices of being able to really be intentional about these. But just because I'm always intentional, and I always make a conscious choice, that doesn't mean that I always align my food choices with my goals, sometimes I don't choose otherwise. And that still comes, that choice still comes from a very empowered place. 

 

No. 5  I never tell myself that I can’t ever have to eat something 26:51

Okay, and then last, with my relationship with food, I never tell myself, I can't ever have it something, ever. That never is in the realm of my self-talk of telling myself, I can't have something, I make a choice with my food. There's never a fight. Sometimes I hear from clients. And I've experienced in the past where there's this fight, like the devil on one shoulder and the angel on the other. And the devil is like, you should eat this ice cream and the angels like no, you want to lose 10 pounds and you're fighting, it's like the parts of yourself are fighting against each other. If you feel those two parts of you fighting each other, that doesn't feel good. Like it feels like one of them has to win and the other one has to lose. And that means always a part of you is always losing, right, if there are two parts of you, and they're fighting each other, one of those parts is going to lose. And that doesn't feel very empowering, that doesn't feel very good. And so I never have that fight with myself in terms of what I'm allowed to have, I can eat whatever I want. Again, it comes back to this choice, I make a choice with my food. And I own that choice. And sometimes that means making a choice with my food that doesn't align with my long-term goals. Sometimes that means making a choice with my food where I do choose to overeat or eat something that maybe isn't in support of my goals. And that is a choice that I make. It's not me ever fighting against myself.  I can have whatever I want. That doesn't mean that I always eat it. And I think that is a beautiful place to be able to get to in your journey. 

 

Restriction and the feeling of restriction 28:30

A lot of people talk about restriction and the feeling of restriction. Restriction can only happen if you're telling yourself you can't have something. That's the only way for restriction to happen. It's like an equal and opposite force, right. So if you push on a wall, you can only push on a wall as hard as it is pushing back against you. This is why you can push harder on a wall and you can push on a pillow because the pillow doesn't push back at the same force as a wall does. And it's the same thing when it comes to restriction. You can only experience restriction if there's something pushing back against it. If there's no resistance there, you can't experience that pushback that we oftentimes will label as a restriction. And so a lot of times people want to fix the feeling of restriction by just saying, you know, I have no rules, I can just do whatever I want. And I can eat everything and anything at any time. And that is one way for some people to remove restrictions. And if that works for you, that's awesome. But I'd love to offer this idea that if you don't tell yourself that you can't have something and instead you're really coming from a place of choosing just because you choose not to have something does not mean you're restricted. Okay? Just because I choose not to have another piece of cake doesn't mean I'm restricting myself, it means I'm making a choice that aligns with the part of me that I am making that choice from. 

 

The restriction is a choice (1st Example- To eat or not to eat chocolate?) 30:07

So let me give you a more tangible example. Actually, I'm gonna give you two tangible examples, because I think this is really valuable to understand that restriction is a choice and that at any point, you can choose not to feel restricted. So the first example that I'll give is my dad, my dad doesn't really like chocolate, he's a weirdo, doesn't like chocolate, he just doesn't like it, it's, it doesn't speak to him, he doesn't really enjoy it, it just is like, not his dessert of choice. Like if he could have any dessert, he's gonna have like, rhubarb cobbler or something like that. But like chocolate does not speak to him. And I love chocolate, girlfriend loves chocolate cake. So both my dad and I can go to a party. And there can be chocolate at the party, a slice of chocolate cake or chocolate something at the party. And I could sit there and tell myself, I really want that chocolate cake, but I can't have it and feel that feeling of restriction by telling myself no feeling restricted from being able to have that chocolate cake. Whereas my dad goes to the party, and he's like, I don't really want the chocolate cake like it doesn't even speak to me, it's I don't enjoy it, like, I don't really want it. And so we both choose to not partake of the chocolate cake. But my choice comes from a place of restriction of telling myself, I can't have something, whereas his choice comes from him just choosing he doesn't want it. Okay. So that's example number one. 

 

The restriction is a choice (2nd Example- Vegans) 31:30

Example number two is to think about someone in your life, maybe that you know, or maybe that you have at least heard of who chooses to be vegetarian or chooses to be vegan. Most vegans and vegetarians don't go to a restaurant that serves meat and fight themselves on whether or not they're going to eat meat. It's not that they feel restricted, it's that they're choosing not to, they just are coming from a place of like they don't want to consume meat. And it is a choice, it's not a feeling that choice is not made from a feeling of restriction. 

 

Making choices without the feeling of being restricted 32:03

So what I would love to offer is that if you're feeling restricted at any point, that was a choice that you can make, and it doesn't mean that you inherently have to make that choice to feel restricted. That when you can come from a place of actually choosing every single time and getting both parts of those of your mind to align with each other so that you're not fighting against each other, then that restriction goes away, and it stops being an outside force telling you what you can do and instead becomes an inside force of making a choice. Nobody tells me I can't have something, I can have whatever I want. That doesn't mean I always choose to have whatever I want. And at the same time, it doesn't mean that I'm restricting myself either. So I think there's a very fine line and this very important distinction when it comes to making a choice to not partake of something and the energy where that choice is made from. Is it made from telling yourself you can't have it? Or is it made from a place of empowerment where you're choosing not to have it and it's not creating those feelings of restriction? And that's where I really am at is that I don't feel restricted because I can have whatever I want. That doesn't mean I always choose to have whatever I want. But I don't feel that restriction when I make that choice. 

 

Recap 33:20

Okay, so to kind of recap those five points that I made of sharing with my relationship with food, one, I talked first about how I don't track anymore, and how I go about my day understanding and leaning into moderation based on the information and knowledge that I gained from my period of time tracking. Number two, I shared that I don't ever feel any guilt, that everything is really just feedback and there's no judgment attached to any food choices that I ever make. Number three, I choose to overeat sometimes and that's not the same thing as a binge. It is a choice that I make and I get feedback from that. And sometimes I don't feel good and sometimes I realize that I don't want to eat five Rolos. And that's not the same thing as a binge. That's normal behavior. And again, I take that as feedback and you know, change the next time I only eat three Rolos instead of eating five. Number four, I don't always align my food choices with my goal. And then number five, I never feel restricted. I never tell myself that I can't have something. I always come from this place of choice of do I want to partake of that? Do I want to eat that? Do I want to feel the way that I'll feel? Do I? Does it align with my goals? Right? These are questions that I'm asking myself and then I make an empowered choice. I never ever tell myself, I never make a choice from the place of telling myself I can't have something. Okay. I don't ever fight myself on that. 

 

My perspectives and insights on my relationship with food 34:51

So that's my relationship with food. That's where I'm at, that's how I approach food. It's how I go through my day in terms of food, and my hope is that offers you some insight into a possibility. Again, it doesn't mean it's the right possibility, it doesn't mean that this is the right way to do food and nutrition. This is what has worked for me. And what you can start to ask yourself is, is what you're doing currently working for you? Is your current relationship working? If your relationship with food is working for you, it's producing the results that you want, you're in a good place and awesome, there's no need to change anything. But if you ask yourself that question, and you say, is my relationship with food working for me? And the answer is no. Then we can start asking ourselves the question of like, how could we make it work for you better? What are some opportunities to be able to change your perspective, or try on a new perspective? Just because you try on a perspective doesn't mean you have to hold on to it. It's just like glasses, you can put on a pair of blue glasses, you see the world in blue, and you can decide that you don't like that, and you can take them off, and you can put on green-colored glasses. And so my goal today is just to give you a perspective to offer you these blue glasses and say, Hey, if things aren't working for you currently, try on these perspectives, try on some of these things that have worked for me, and see if they fit and work for you. I don't believe that there is a right way to have a relationship with food, I don't believe there is one right way to have a relationship with food, I do believe there is a way that is effective for you. And when we can stop asking ourselves the question, is this the right way? Am I doing this right? And start asking ourselves, the question is what I'm doing effective for where I want to be in my life? Is what I'm doing effective for the relationship I want my kids to have with food? Is what I'm doing effective for my long term goals? That is a much better question to ask ourselves, and am I doing this right? Do I have the right relationship with food, okay, if what you're currently doing is effective, don't change it? Don't change it just because I have something different. But if what you're doing is ineffective, and you feel like it's not effective, I'm offering you some glasses to maybe try on and see if that helps improve your relationship with food in a way that makes it more effective for you. 

 

Takeaway 37:22

So my hope was that this was helpful to you, as offered us some perspective and offered us some insight into the way that I view food. And that you can take some of the ways that from this episode and hopefully apply it, I would love for you to share those takeaways on Instagram or on Facebook. So if you take a screenshot of this episode, and share your takeaway, I want to hear what your actual takeaway was from this episode and how you're going to apply it. Because I truly believe learning doesn't change anything until it's actually applied. So you can sit here and listen to this podcast and be like, yeah, yeah, that's great and I love it. So good hit me so hard. But if nothing changes, because of it, then it's not actually going to produce different results. So learning is only as good as the application of the learning. So snap a screenshot of this, post it to your Instagram or Facebook, tag me @bicepsafterbabies and tell me what your takeaway was from the episode and how you are applying it in your life. I love to see those of how you're taking this podcast and actually putting the things that we're talking about here into action, and making a difference in your journey. That wraps up this episode of biceps after babies radio. I'm Amber,  now go out and be strong because remember my friend, you can do anything.

Outro

Hold up, sister friend. Do you love Biceps after Babies radio? If so, the best way to say thank you is to subscribe to the podcast and leave a review on iTunes. I know, every podcaster wants you to leave a review, but it's because those reviews help the podcast to reach more people. And I do truly want to know what you think. If this particular episode resonated with you, will you also please share it? Either send the link to someone who would find it valuable or take a screenshot and post it to your social media and tell your friends and family why they should listen. Make sure you tag me @biceps.after.babies so I can hear your feedback and give you a little love. And you know, if you aren't already following me on Instagram or Facebook, that's the perfect time to hit that follow button. Thank you for being here and listening to Biceps after Babies radio.

 

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