I actually have my sister on the podcast today. She’s done some pretty amazing things with sports so we're going to talk about her playing rugby and making it to the All-American team, which is a real big deal. And we are going to talk about how what that was like and how that happened. And then her transition away from being someone on a team into motherhood, and I wanted to bring her on because I know that a lot of us have past lives, or have things that have to change and that there are different phases and stages of your life. And that's part of life is like going through and having things change and having new priorities and rearranging your life according to where you're at right now. And I love what she had to say about that transition.
- How playing rugby impacted Kara’s life (12:01,17:00, 18:23)
- How making decisions that lead to changing the trajectory of one’s life (13:45,14:40)
- The honor and experience representing the USA as an All-American team (15:46, 23:37)
- Playing best and working the hardest pays off (20:51, 22:22)
- The need to be willing to do things that will make goals a reality (28:26)
- Transitioning to motherhood (28:26, 30:27, 32:06)
- Maintaining one’s identity outside of being a mother (33:30, 34:36)
- Amber’s authenticity in everything she does (40:33, 43:25)
- We all have different strengths and we shine in our own way (47:02 )
So I hope that that was fun for you to learn a little bit about my sister, Isn't she a rock star? She's just so fabulous. I have lots of fabulous sisters and brothers. And I'm excited to, you know, be able to share one of them with you here on the podcast. So hopefully it was fun to hear her perspective of our childhood, her perspective of me, and most of all her perspective, the lessons that she learned as she made a transition from one identity to a next to you know, a new identity and she had some really awesome takeaways that I hope that you picked up during the episode.
You're listening to Biceps after Babies radio episode number 116
Hello and welcome to Biceps after Babies radio. A podcast for ladies who know that fitness is about so much more than pounds lost or PRs. It's about feeling confident in your skin and empowered in your life. I'm your host, Amber Brueseke, a registered nurse, personal trainer, wife, and mom of four. Each week, my guests and I will excite and motivate you to take action in your own personal fitness as we talk about nutrition, exercise mindset, personal development, and executing life with conscious intention. If your goal is to look, feel, and be strong and experience transformation from the inside out, you, my friend are in the right place. Thank you for tuning in, now let’s jump into today’s episode.
Amber B 0:48
Hey, hey, hey, welcome back to another episode of biceps after babies radio, I'm your host, Amber Brueseke. And today, I actually have my sister on the podcast. Now, this is one of my sisters, actually have three sisters. Many of you know that I am the oldest of seven. And there are four of us girls, and there are three boys in that family. So today I'm interviewing my sister Kara Remington, she and I are about two years apart. And we were very, very close growing up and still very close. And I wanted to bring her on the podcast today because first of all, she's friggin awesome. She's such a rockstar, and we're going to talk in the episode about some of our similarities, and then some of our differences.
Amber B 1:3 6
And one of our big differences is that she's really into sports, like really into sports. I don't really watch sports that much. I don't really participate in organized sports very much. I did a little bit in high school, but that's kind of the extent of it, but my sister, it's like her life, it's her life, it's our identity, it's something that she loves. And she talks about how she kind of carved out this niche for herself and our family. And she's definitely known as like the sportsperson in our family. And she's done some pretty amazing things with sports. So we're going to talk about her playing rugby and making it to the All American team, which is a real big deal. If you don't know much about sports, becoming an All American in college, at the collegiate level for the division one athlete is a really, really big deal. And we are going to talk about how you know what that was like and how that happened.
Amber B 2:35
And then that transition away from being the division one, you know, collegiate athlete into motherhood, and I wanted to bring her on because I know that a lot of us have you know, past lives, or have things that have to change when we do have kids or even if you're listening and you don't have kids, you know that there are different phases and stages of your life. And that's part of life is like going through and having things change and having new priorities and rearranging your life according to where you're at right now. And so I wanted to bring Kara on to be able to talk to that a little bit and talk about this transition into motherhood into being you know, someone on a team who had accolades who had people telling her that she was wonderful and that she's amazing and scoring points and things and then going into motherhood which is way less about scoring goals or having somebody pat you on the back for a really good job. And I love what she had to say about that transition.
Amber B 3:36
We do talk at the end of the episode, Kara shares some personal stuff about me, She shares some stories about me as I said, she knows me obviously very well. And she shares some insights into me into what she thought when I started my business. And she shares some funny stories from our childhood. So you'll want to stick around to the end of the episode because you'll learn some things maybe that you didn't know about me from one of my sisters. So without further ado, let's hop into that episode with All-American athlete Kara Remington.
Amber B 4:15
I am so excited to welcome my sister Kara Remington to the podcast. Hey, Kara.
Amber B 4:23
I am excited to have another family member come on the podcast. So I had my mom on the podcast on episode number 27. And I've had my husband TJ on the podcast a couple of times. And now I get to bring my sister on to the podcast. So I'm excited to be able to chat with you today and share you with my audience.
Yeah, thanks. I don't have much to say about pelvic floors. So I don't know if I can compete with TJ there but
Amber B 4:49
So I have to tell you that I so I told Kara, like a year ago, but I tell you like a year ago that I want you on the podcast.
You told me when you first started making that you first tell us that you wanted to make a podcast. She said I'll bet you'd have me on. And I said, Why?
Amber B 5:06
Yeah, well, that was like two years ago. And so then I, like, had her on the schedule. And I was like, yeah, we're gonna, like do an interview. And then every time like I needed to bump somebody, unfortunately, Kara was got the bump. So then I put up a question box on my Instagram, and they said, What do you guys want to hear on the podcast? And what did you post on my box?
I don't know. I'm joking. But I said something like, Oh, I would love it. If you could chat with someone who isn't all American.
Amber B 5:34
Yeah. So then I
Just tried to give you a hard time about continuing my podcast.
Amber B 5:40
Yeah. So then I was like, well, I actually have you on the schedule. So we're actually going to do it and we're actually not going to record this. So I'm really excited to be able to talk to Kara because I know that she thinks that she doesn't have anything to share. But there are not many people that I know who are All-Americans. And they're really not very many people who are All-Americans who then made that transition into, you know, full-time motherhood and that transition, I think a lot of women can relate to not because a lot of you listening are all Americans, but because a lot of us have had, you know, almost different like sections of our life right, sections of your life where maybe you were working full time, or you were in school, and now you're at a different phase of your life. And I think a lot of us can relate to just that transition that happens as you move into motherhood. And you know, for some of you listening, moving to grandmotherhood, or just move through different phases of your life, so there will be something for you to take away whether or not you care about sports. Because I'm not super into sports.
That's weird to me, but whatever.
Amber B 6:41
Yeah, So okay, so let's start out with you just telling us a little bit about you.
Well, this is the first time I've introduced myself to you, I think, I don't know if I've ever introduced myself. But um, so yeah, I'm the second of the seven children. So you're my older sister. And I'm number two, though. I had to follow you through my entire life, which you know, had its ups and downs. But we grew up both of us grew up in Seattle. I graduated from high school in Seattle, got my degree in biology teaching at BYU. I have been married for 10 years to my husband, Taylor. And right now we live in Canton, Michigan. We've got four kids, they are 8, 6, 3, and 18 months old. And right now I'm a stay at home mom. But as I said, I got my degree in biology teaching. So I've kind of done a bunch of different things throughout my life. I've been teaching high school for a year, I've substituted Todd, I've coached high school sports, just kind of doing a little bit of everything along the way. Like she said, different phases of my life, different lives. But I think probably one of the biggest things about me is that I'm just kind of an all-around sports junkie. And I really love sports. I love watching sports. I love playing sports. And pretty much all of them. I really haven't met a sport that I didn't like, which most people who just meet me and haven't met the rest of our family assume I think that our whole family's kind of like that. And I really the odd duck. Everybody's pretty active in our family. But I was really the only one that got hit by the organized sports bug and has always been a big thing in my life.
Amber B 8:35
Yeah, well, cuz it's interesting. So, you know, there's a lot of similarities between Kara and me, I'm two years older than Kara. So you know, we grew up very close, you know, both as sisters but also as friends. And there's a lot of similarities. Like we both went to BYU, we both majored in like science have a science emphasis that was always very interesting to us, we are both very active. We both married men who are named Taylor. Yeah, have four kids. Like there's a lot of similarities between Kara and me, but I would agree that while most of us are very active in the family, most of us are not as involved in organized sports as Kara's. I played volleyball growing up, I played soccer growing up, but I didn't play anything past high school. And it's definitely not you know, I do CrossFit and I lift and stuff, but organized sports aren't really a part of my life. And they have remained a very big part of Kara's life for many, many years.
And even you in high school, I mean, you played those sports, but I wouldn't say it was quite as much a part of your identity like I have always been to me like you are an excellent athlete. In fact, I tried to convince you to play rugby with me when I joined the team, but you weren't quite having that. But yeah, it's just a bigger portion of my identity, I think.
Amber B 9:50
Yeah, so let's talk about rugby. When you went to BYU, you joined the BYU rugby team. So walk us through like how, like why rugby.
Amber B 10:01
Like, where did that come from?
Why are you thinking? Um, yeah, so like, I mean, I'm a sports junkie, I love sports. I love everything to do with competing. I love being on the team, I just love all of that. And in high school, like I kind of mentioned, I was super into sports, I played basketball, volleyball, and softball all throughout high school. And I only played those sports because there were only three seasons. So if there are more seasons, I would play more sports. I just, I really just loved it. And so then I, you know, finished high school sports. And you know, as most high school athletes do, like I didn't really have any other options. I really wanted to go to BYU. And so I just went to BYU and I got to college and did not take me very long to feel like I needed a team. Like I missed being part of a team. I miss competing and I think it was only on my second or third day of school, I was in the girls’ dorms at BYU and I saw a flyer that was posted up that said that the BYU Women's rugby team was looking for players. And they said, the biggest thing that stood out to me was he said there was no experience necessary, which was important, but and at the time, when I saw that flyer, literally, like most Americans, the only thing I knew about rugby was that you got to tackle and that it was a full-contact sport. And just on that knowledge alone, I said, I'm in.
Amber B 10:18
It's a plus for you.
That was I all growing up I wanted to play football. And I would play. I played football with the boys at recess in elementary school. I was always, you know, a super scrappy player and every sport that I played, so you know, on the basketball court, it was not uncommon for me to foul out in soccer, I would get fouls, and I just always was a little over physical from the sports I play.
Amber B 11:56
I want you guys to know that she's like, 5'4″ and like a 130 lbs.
I'm not the biggest, but I will come to you. Um, but yeah, and so I just, I was like, if you get to tackle I'm down. And so I and it was kind of uncharacteristic of me at the time, I wasn't super outgoing. But I showed up, I just decided to go they said that I didn't need to know anything. And I was like, Alright, I'll just show up. So I went to the first practice and off Amber, I was hooked, it was over. Like, I felt like in a lot of ways my entire sports career was just preparing me for this, the culmination of all sports. It was just such a good fit for me. As I said, I love physicality, I love being physical. It was it's a fun sport because it's super fast. It's fast-paced, it doesn't stop as football does, and, or like, you know, flow like softball, but super, you have to be super intelligent, it's really complex. You have to be strong, but also fast, you have to have good endurance. I mean, it's just a great sport. And it just really, really clicked for me. And I ended up then playing on that team for the next five years. And just like I said, I just fell in love with it. And I really think it was the highlight of my college experience was participating in that team and getting to travel around the country representing my university. And those girls that I met through the program literally became like family. And it was just such a great part of my college experience to be part of that team.
Amber B 13:45
Yeah. And so I want to talk about I want to talk a little bit about this decision because I think there are points in our lives where we make decisions that are seemingly minor, and they end up like changing the trajectory of our life, right? And they end up changing, like where we end up. And I really feel like this is kind of one of those decisions. It's like you saw a flyer, or, you know, you saw like this random flyer, and you're like, yeah, maybe I'll do that. And because of that, like one flyer, that one choice. This took you in a whole direction. So I want you to kind of talk about it. And it became such as there are so many achievements that you had in terms of playing rugby. And so you haven't really talked about some of your achievements yet, but I want to talk about you going from seeing a flyer never ever having played rugby ever before. To where did you end up because of that decision?
Yeah, I mean, I totally think In fact, one of my, I don't know how if you ever look back and like it scared about what would happen if you hadn't made a decision? And this is one of those decisions like if I think like I said, it was not characteristic of me to step that far out of my comfort zone and just show up to something that I knew nobody as I went with one of my friends that I had met like two days before. And I said, Let's go together. And we went and that was it. And it terrifies me to think, what if I had just not gone? You know, what if I had not seen the flyer? What if that had not all happened? I think, yeah, as you said, this was one of those points in my life. I'm so glad I made that decision. Like it just has changed, like you said, the whole trajectory of my life, and I was able to play on this team. Like I said, for those five years, and I hit the team just at the right time when it was going through a transition where it had started in the year 2000, the rugby team. And it was just kind of a club team, like just for fun.
And right as I joined the team, we had a new coach that showed up and started coaching us. And he really had a vision for what our team could be and took us to the next level. He was the one that led us to be to get the certification that we needed to be able to compete at the division one level collegiately before we were just kind of playing in Utah, and a couple of tournaments a year. And so we were able to, I mean, I was able to go from not knowing what rugby really was to playing on a division one collegiate team that traveled around the country. And I got to be a leader on that team, I got to learn this great sport, I got to travel, I got to later on in my career, I got to Yeah, I was selected as an All-American. And that led to me being able to represent the United States as an All-American team, and I got to do some workouts with the national team coaches and I was put in what's called the National Team pool where I was a poor selection for some of them you know, national team events that are coming up.
And I just got to see I got a sneak peek or a little peek into this world of professional athletics. I was not professional but I was right there at that jumping-off point. Again, getting to see what it would be like to devote the rest of your life to playing sports and what it would be like to play your sport at the highest levels. And I don't know many sports, that you could do that other than rugby, just because it's an emerging sport in the US that you could jump in not knowing anything about it. And you know, in seven years’ time be playing at some of the highest levels available to people. And so it was just an amazing experience. I count myself really lucky like I said that I hit the program, just at the right time when it was really kind of taking off and got it on the ground level that then took me to these amazing places that impacted my life made rugby. Rugby is everything. Like it was everything for a really long time. I mean, you know, Taylor, my husband, proposed to me after a rugby game, on the rugby field in front of my rugby teammates, because those are my family. And that just kind of goes to show you how big of role rugby played in my life.
Amber B 18:15
Yeah. And then you went back and you coached. You coach to BYU, which is like a huge deal. Yeah, not a small deal.
Yeah, I was able to go back and coach for about two years, then that was even after I had my oldest son, so I was able to drag him along and coach those girls too. So yeah, it was an excellent experience. And really rugby is a lot of influence on a lot of my decisions. The time that I spent on that team with those girls really impacted me. We had obviously there were girls older than me, and then girls younger than me and we had one year were five or six of the girls decided to choose to serve missions for our church, and to go you know, all throughout the world and take a break from school and go do that for a year and a half. And that was really what turned me on to the idea of maybe I want to do that. And so I ended up doing it as well and going and serving a mission in Switzerland, you know, attribute that, to my rugby teammates. And then you know, after I got back and my mission really gave me that confidence that I needed to be able to be more competent when it came to dating and I attribute that confidence to why it was me and marry Taylor. And then after I graduated from college and was applying to be a teacher, I had my rugby stuff on my resume and the job interview with the school I ended up teaching with the vice principal spent almost the whole time talking about my rugby experience and hardly anything about my no biology teaching experience. And I really believe that my rugby stuff on my resume was what set me apart and allowed me to get that first job out of college. So it's just like things like that. Have rugby has just been that one domino that I feel like has led to these other watershed moments in my life and has really been such a great impact on the things that I've done.
Amber B 20:13
Yeah, I love it so much. You kind of glossed over this fact that you freakin made the All-American team. I know you kind of set, like an aside. So I'm gonna sign a bigger spotlight onto that because that's a big freakin deal. Like I want you to sit and talk a little bit about that experience. Like, what did that mean to you, when you found out that you had made the team, was that something that you wanted? Like was that a goal that you had set? Was that a surprise? It's a big deal like making I want, I want people listening to understand like, it is a big, big deal to make the all American team. So what you know, what did that mean to you?
Um, it did mean a lot I and I honestly was I mean, a surprise is not the right word. My team at the time, this was I was selected to the 2011 Division One All-American through USA rugby. And I mean, it's a huge honor, like you said, it's there's, you know, only so many All-Americans for the whole country at the division one collegiate level, and I was lucky enough to be picked as one of them. But at the time, our team was excellent. We were very, very good. In fact, that year, we had made it all the way to the semi-finals of the national championship. And so we had played in the Final Four. And so had gotten to be on that stage, which gave me a little bit more exposure to be seen by the selectors. But it was, it was a little bit of a surprise. I mean, rugby is such a team sport. To me, it's hard to point out, you know, individual players, as being, you know, above the rest, but in my position, I was fly-half. And my position was kind of a little bit like a quarterback in that I kind of directed the rest of my teammates. And really my job was to make my teammates look good. Like the fly-half isn't scoring that much. It's not. I don't I mean, I run with the ball. But my job really was to get the ball to my playmakers. And so in that way, it was, I mean, I was one person on an excellent team. And I feel like that contributes a lot to me being selected. And, you know, the other girls on my team definitely played a part in my selection.
But, um, yeah, it was a huge honor. I can't really say that it had been a goal of mine, really, all you can do is play your best and play your hardest and work your hardest. And whatever accolades come, are coming from other people. And so you don't really have control over that. But it was, it was a great experience. And I think actually, even more, I found out that I had made the all American team, which they just, you know, like printed selection, like they usually do in most sports. And then after that, then they let us know that from that those All-American selections, they were going to select people from across division one, division two, and division three, I think, then they're going to from those selections going to select an All-American traveling team, where they're going to get to go actually compete as a team, as All-American team, and so when I found that out, that was the one that I was like, Oh, I really want that. It's great to get like you know, honor the little certificate, the thing that says you're an All-American, but even better would be to actually get to go train with these girls and play with these girls, some of the best girls in the country and get to, you know, compete as a member of Team USA.
And so really, I was more excited when I found out that I had been split that. And that was a great experience, we got to go to the Lake Placid Olympic Training Center in New York. And we spent a week there training at the facility, which was really cool, got to live like an Olympic athlete, which is, you know, a unique experience. And we got to train with the National and All-American team coaches. And then, towards the end of the week, we got to play in two games against the Canadian, you know, the Canadian, All-American, so the Canadian All-Collegiate team all-stars or something like that. And we played as a part of the Can-Am games that they placed there. And that was just a really, really cool experience to get to play. I mean, we put on jerseys that said, the USA, when we broke our huddle, we said, you know, you shot your team name, and our team name was the USA. And just that experience of getting to represent my country and to put on a jersey that said the USA was a really, really neat experience. That tops probably just about anything I've done in sport the rest of my life. It was pretty.
Amber B 24:52
That's awesome. So what was that transition like? So you made the All-American team, right, and kind of a highlight. You did end up going back in like coaching for BYU, which is again, another awesome achievement to be able to not only play at a collegiate level but actually coach at a collegiate level as well. But rugby is not a part of your life really anymore other than maybe watching it. So kind of talk to us, like, what happened after all those things And after Taylor proposed to you, what was that transition like?
Yeah, I mean, it was, sports to me, my whole life has never been an end, they've always been kind of the means that they've been the ride along the way. I was never one as a kid, I never I mean, every kid goes to the phase when they want to be a professional athlete, right? So I had that. Okay. That's why I did.
Amber B 25:49
That' not every kid care. I never wanted to be a professional athlete.
Well, I did. So I mean, just like that pie in the sky dream, the idea of getting paid money to play sports. I mean, to me, that was the ultimate, but I hadn't, it did not take me long to come to the reality that's not likely to happen. And so I just enjoyed it. I just enjoyed the sports that I played, I loved it, I kind of knew the whole time, at some point, it was going to end. And I thought at the first point was going to be after high school, and was super surprised and happy when I got to continue on through college. And it was actually really interesting towards the end. So I got married in 2009 and then my senior year was 2011. And when I got married, Taylor and I kind of talked about what our plans were. And, you know, I've always wanted to be a mom, I always knew that someday, that would be my life was going to be a mom. And so we kind of talked about, you know, our family planning. And our plan was kind of, I wanted to finish up my degree, I wanted to finish up my rugby, you know, I'd started it, I wanted to finish out all of my eligibility and get to, you know, experience all of that, that that had to add. And then that kind of idea was, you know after I graduate, and after I finished my rugby, then you know, soon thereafter, we're going to start our family.
And so it was really interesting that my senior year, that 2011 season when our team did so well. And then the accolades started to come and I got these invitations to do things like the all American camp, and I got invited also to another national team camp, the national team pool. And I all of a sudden, was told, you know, if you wanted, you could do this, you could be in this pool, and you could train and you can be eligible to start traveling with the national team playing for the national team, all these other experiences. And I was surprised, that was on that one I was really surprised. I did not think that that was something that was in my future. But you know, when the national team had coaches, the one telling you that he probably knows. And so it kind of got stuck in my head like, well, is this not it from this, this is not what I just do, I have more left to go with this rugby. And actually, at the national team camp that I went to we had along with our you know, physical training, we had these classroom sessions, where we watched films when we talked about what it took to be an elite athlete, and you know, all these mental aspects like that.
And I remember one day we were in, we're in one of those sessions and the coach up at the front, started talking about sort of writing things on the court, he started, he wrote, like, World Cup, Nations Cup, 2014 Olympics, and like three or four other like big events up on the board. And he said, he turned to us and he said, if you are in this room, these should be your goals. These should be these are the real things that you should be aiming for, you should be aiming to make these teams. And that's kind of your pathway for the next, I think it was like four or five years. And he said in order to do that, in order to reach these goals, this is what you need to do. You need to be willing to do things that will make these goals a reality. And these are things like maybe you need to move to somewhere where you can play competitive rugby year-round. Maybe you need to take a job that pays less but allows you to travel when you get asked to go with these teams to fall events and things like that. Maybe you need to miss family events and vacation. And you might have to do all these things. And they might seem like such big sacrifices. But he said, if these are your goals, they won't feel like sacrifices. And I at first when he was saying all these things about what we need to do. I was thinking I just got I mean I've been married like three years now we want to start a family soon. They don't I don't they're the closest competitive rugby to me living in Utah at the time would have been in Colorado. So I was like I don't want to live up to my husband for a few months a year while I go play rugby, I, this, it just I felt so conflicted. I was like, What is this? Like, I didn't even know this was an option. What do I do? And when he said that, though what he ended that up with, you know, if these are your goals, those won't feel like sacrifices, I realized, Oh, those aren't my goals, that all feels like sacrifices to now feel like something I don't want to do.
And so that's, I knew this has been great. It's been great experiences, I've loved every minute of it, I feel like I, you know, taking the opportunities that were in front of me, but now it's time for the next phase of my life. And now it's time to try and jump into that motherhood and to jump into other opportunities that were going to be ahead for me. And I just really felt like that was a big moment for me to really realize. This is it for me. And that was okay. And it was 100% my decision, I didn't feel like I sacrificed rugby to start my family, which I think was really important to me and that's why I wanted to finish out my entire rugby career. I didn't want to feel like I gave it up or to you know, resent my husband or my kids in the future because it is, but I just realized at a certain point that they had been enough. And I was ready for the next phase of life. And so that's kind of what I did after that summer, traveling around with those couple of teams. I kind of hung it up and I really haven't played hardly any sense here for them. I've done it. And I coach for those couple of years. So I got to stay close to the game for a little bit. But rugby is kind of one of my past flights at this point. And it's not really what I'm part of now. And in fact, a lot of people are, like he said, surprised when they meet me and realize that I played rugby because I don't look like a rugby player. I don't look like someone that you don't be scared of.
Amber B 31:58
Yeah, I think rugby player, you think like a big burly girl who like what you eat for breakfast? Like not at all what it looks like?
No. But yeah, and so I decided to make that transition. And it was hard, though. I mean, I, it still was, it's way different. Motherhood is different beasts. And you know, and I'm sure a lot of moms out there know, like, motherhood is largely anonymous. You do so many things for so many people with next to no recognition. And that's way different than sports, you know, my whole life with sports. I mean, not that everyone was praising me all the time. But people cheer for you, you have wins and losses, you have, you know, different athletes, you can make different, you know, all-conference teams, or All-American teams or things like that, where you feel that other people are applauding you and telling you, you're good, you did it. And motherhood is not like that. And so I had to find other ways to find, you know, those accolades that weren't coming from outside, and I had to kind of dig deep and find my own approval for the things that I was doing as a mom. And I think it was hard, it was hard to do. And I'm still not perfect at it but it's also very fulfilling to feel like you're succeeding as a mother some days. Um, and so it's been an interesting transition.
Amber B 33:30
Yeah. And, you know, one thing that I think that both you and I grew up with was a mother who maintained an identity outside of being a mother. And I never want to say that in a way that it's like because I hated when you'll say, like, I'm just a mother. Like, I never wanted to say that you have to be something outside of my mother. But I think that that was something that we were raised where mom had her identity, and she was PTA president. And she taught classes at the gym, and she had things that were like, her own that she like did for herself. And so both of you and I grew up with that have seen that. And so I'm curious as you've made this transition to motherhood, which you said, is a little bit more of like a thankless job for you can sometimes feel like it strips you a little bit of your like individuality. What, you know, what have you done to continue your identity as Kara in addition to your identity as mom or as a wife?
Yeah, yeah, I do think I think mom was such a good example of that. I think I remember I mean, she would do her own thing. And she was, I think better for it. And I found the same thing. Like you're saying that I need to be Kara sometimes. It gets exhausting to always just be mom, always just be looking for other people as cute as they are like I need to be me sometimes. And for me, I just kind of try and find that space where I feel most like me. And because of the sports nerd like, that's usually on the playing field usually has to do with sports. And so I continued to make sports a part of my life. And that has given me that time to be me. Even after the first year, when I taught high school, I was able to get the basketball, JV basketball coaching job. And then the next year, I had my first son, and so I quit teaching, but I was able to keep that basketball job, as well as then also pick up the JV volleyball coaching job at that high school. And so for the next four years, while my husband was finishing school, I got to coach and it was such a great experience to be able to do that. And when my babies, I had two babies while I was coaching. And when they were little, I just brought them with me, and high school girls, love babies. And so I always had a high school girl that was willing to hold my baby when I was feeding them and just kind of made that work to be able to have my babies and then to also still have the space to be myself.
And then when we moved here to Michigan, you know, lost the coaching jobs, and didn't really have the childcare to help me out to be able to continue coaching. And so I kind of looked around for well, what else can I get involved? What other sports can I get involved in and I was able to hook up with some leads in the area that play in a softball league every summer? And so I started playing softball in this league. And it was so fun. I remember just the first night after I came home from playing in that softball game. And I just told Taylor's like, I feel like me when I'm out there does it have been publicly eight months, since I've done anything like that. And I was like, that's, I feel like me, I feel like, I'm myself when I'm playing softball. And so I've been able to do that for years now as we've lived here. In the winter, I played pickup basketball at church, I get to this last year, I played in a volleyball league, women's volleyball league this past spring. And just that's how I feel like me. And so I discovered that that's when I feel like Kara and so I've kind of just tried to make time and make find opportunities to do those things.
And I have to say I'm super fortunate I'm so grateful for Taylor, my husband for he's always been super supportive of that to me. I mean, I think to me, that's one of the reasons why it was so meaningful to be proposed after a rugby game when I was disgusting and sweaty, and nasty. Because he was accepting that this is who you are, this is your, you know, life trajectory. And that he was fine with it. But yeah, he supports me in doing all these things and cheering me on and making me kicking me out the door when you know, sometimes I feel like, oh, maybe I shouldn't go or feel guilty about it. And that's really helpful to have that, that support for him. But I also I mean, prioritize my own daily workout. So kind of like you, I work out in my basement, and my kids know, I'm going to go work out and they can either come to play in the basement or they can stay upstairs and leave me alone. But that's my time to work out. And I just need that time to be me to feel like me. And I feel that it makes me a better mom. You know when I get my workout in when I get to spend a couple of evenings a week in the summer playing softball. I come back a better mom refreshed and ready to dive back into the grind of motherhood. I think it's really important.
Amber B 38:43
Yeah, agreed. So as my sister and as someone who has known me for almost my entire life, what is something that you think people should know about me? Or maybe something that would be surprising that you know that most people don't?
Oh, man, where do I start? This is a dangerous kind of word. This is dangerous for me to throw out. Because I know all your secrets.
Amber B 39:09
I can get to edit it.
So that's right. I don't know the story and when you locked me in the shed with the baby…
Amber B 39:20
Tell that story.
And then this feeds me through the cracks and tells mom and dad got home to give me some patience. Or like when you pulled out one of my teeth by tying a string to it and tying it to the door. Remember that?
Amber B 39:34
You told me Don't worry. It's not gonna hurt. I said, How do you know have you done it? You said no, I haven't done but it won't hurt.
Amber B 39:42
But I'm your older sister so I know.
Right? And so we're gonna do it and you, you shut that doorman. You did not hesitate.
Amber B 39:50
I also ask you to go get things for me.
Oh yeah, all the time. My favorite Amber was that all growing up, she used to always tell me, Kara your, I'm a follower, you're a leader my whole life, you'd always tell me that I say, Okay Amber, yes Amber, I'm a follower, I get it. And it wasn't until I hit high school and started being like arms on these high school sports teams and started getting made Captain on these teams. It was shocking to me, I was like me, Captain, I'm not a leader, I'm a follower. Amber's the leader. But then I came into my own as a leader, and I realized, Amber, I'm a leader, too. You're a leader, and I'm a leader.
We can both be leaders, fine.
So you didn't stop me too badly. But no, I think really, the thing that your listeners want to know, and they already know this, but you're just authentic. You are you. And embarrassingly so, I just see you on these different platforms, doing all these different things that you're doing, your podcast and Instagram and whatever social media, and I just, it's, it's you, it's my sister, it's nothing more, nothing less. What you see is what you get with you. And I think, I think you're if they don't, you know, know that already. They can sense it. And maybe we haven't really thought about it, but you can sense authenticity with you in all that you do. And that's what I think that's what draws people and I think that's helped make you so successful is that people see that you don't have all the frills, you're not trying to put on a show. You're really just wanting to help people. And I think that comes across in all the things we do. So I want to vouch for you that oh, this is you, you really are this much of a goober, you really are this much of a nerd. But this is really you. And I think you've done a great job of putting yourself out there in that way.
Amber B 41:53
Oh, that's really nice. Kara. So what wait, so what did you think when I started my business?
Well, I'm one of your OG followers,
Amber B 42:04
You are my OG follower. Yeah.
I remember, you said, you text us, you send out a text, or you put something on Instagram or something, saying, Hey, guys, I'm going to be doing this account, please come follow. With how many millions of those do you get?
Amber B 42:20
Like, yeah, right.
I get that all the time for every little side business side hustle that everybody has. And I hadn't been on Instagram for super long back then. And I was kind of, I was being protective of my Instagram, like I just Facebook is out of control, right? Like, I have just been friends with everybody for everything all the time. And it just kind of spiraled out of control. So when I started my Instagram account, I was like, Okay, I'm just gonna be really selective of who I follow. And what I put on this feed, I really only want to follow people I actually know right now in life, like, I don't need some random person that I met in some class my freshman year at BYU, like, I just don't, it's not as interesting. So when you sent out this text, like, Oh, please come follow me. I was like,uuhhh!
Amber B 43:08
But you didn't actually know me in real life. So that was…
I just realized and I just thought, I don't want to follow and I don't want to fit this account. I don't, to this day, you're the only fitness account I follow. It's not.
Amber B 43:21
It's just nice that you still follow me.
But I thought you know what, she's my sister. She wants to do this thing. Chances are, she's gonna quit in a couple of weeks anyway. And then I can delete it and not feel bad. But I might feel bad if you know, the eight of us that she asked us to follow her don't follow. So I did follow. And I was shocked, honestly, as your sister when you blew up, like, I mean, that was just, it was incredible to watch. And I just thought, I can do that. When you start talking about your upbringing, and mom, and I was like, Hey, that was my upbringing, that was my mom, like, What's going on here? Why do people care so much about this, but um, as I said, it was just because from the get-go, you are authentic, and you figured out something that worked and people saw it and were able to give it to others to give that success to other people and that just led to just the success. So now I'm a proud follower. And I tell all my friends that you know, I have a famous sister and tell them to listen to your podcast and I quote you and me, you know, just to drop Well, my sister she does it. And, you know, tell people, all of your knowledge and all the things you say so I am so impressed and it's really so proud of you for what you've done with this business. It went from having no chance of going anywhere when you first started to really, like I said, helping so many people and really I think making a really positive impact in the world. I'm super impressed. And I'm still waiting for a job offer. I don't know, consultants or something. You got to hire me on the team.
Amber B 45:11
We need, yeah, we need some sports part you can
there you go
Amber B 45:15
help us build up that division of the team.
I can be your sports coach or sports trainer.
Amber B 45:21
Yeah, there we go. Yeah, that's so fun. Yeah, I mean, my family obviously has had like, a backseat to this whole experience. And I think, you know, we've all seen people in our lives, like to start things and be like, yeah, yeah, that's really cute. And, yeah, don't necessarily expect them to go anywhere. And, you know, I think over the years, like, I just kept going, and this turned into something that I mean, honestly, you had asked me five years ago, six years ago, when I started this business, where did I see it in five years, and this would not be what I would have, you know, dreamed. But, you know, it was started from a very sincere place to help people and I think I just built on that of always keeping that at the forefront. And then that leads me to the next thing in the business. So
You are always just in every time we get together as a family and have some new vision of where you're going next with it. Every time I remember when we were on a girls' weekend, you're like, I'm going to start a podcast. I was like, Oh, you're really? Cool.
Amber B 46:27
Sure I am Kara. And you're gonna be on that.
But by that point, I mean, I knew not to doubt you. I was like, Alright, I guess that's what you're doing. I guess that's where you're gonna go. And that's, I mean, that's been you your whole life. And you set your mind to something and you do it. That's one of the reasons why it was really interesting to follow you as the second child in our family. Because to ride that wave of expectations that you set up and for the most part, it helped me, but sometimes I didn't quite measure up. It was that it was a reminder to be better. So
Amber B 47:02
Yeah, well, I didn't I mean, you're not the only sibling that has said that. Let's be honest. So I'm the oldest, I'm the oldest of seven. I'm very driven. And I'm very, like, achievement-oriented. And being the oldest with that personality, it does make it hard to come after that. And I know some of the other siblings have said some of the same things where it's like, I want to live up to that. I'm different, like, everybody's different. We all have different strengths. And just because your strengths aren't my strengths, it doesn't make them any less valuable or any less.
Right. I think we did all end up, are all able to kind of find…
Amber B 47:42
everybody found their thing.
Yeah. And we're able to shine in our own way. And maybe that's one of the reasons why I gravitated so hard to sport and that is my thing.
Amber B 47:52
It definitely wasn't chemistry man. Your chemistry teacher was not so impressed with me in high school
Amber B 48:01
Mrs. Hill was not impressed.
Amber B 48:06
Oh, my gosh, I'm dying. But so, I loved Mrs. Hill.
I know you did. And she loved you. Let me tell you. I was not you.
Amber B 48:15
So funny. All right, well, enough about me. Let's wrap up the last question with something directly about you. So I'm curious, what are some of your current goals whether it's health or fitness or something else, but what are you currently working to achieve?
Um, so health and fitness-wise, it's I'm sure it's not a shock at this point that I'm always been more interested in what my body can do unnecessarily what it looks like. And so I'm all about getting stronger and staying strong. So I love to lift weights as you do and I kind of as the year each year, I told you all my different sports teams that I'm still playing on, I kind of fit my fitness goals or what I'm working on towards whatever sport is coming up. So this last spring, when I was playing volleyball, I was working on my on increasing my vertical leap. So doing a lot more of like legs and calves and things like that and doing more jumping exercises. During softball season or when softball season coming up, I focused also on my lower body and my abs, my core. And then for basketball, I do more like HIT workouts to try and get my cardio endurance up. So I wouldn't say I have an overarching health and fitness goal right now as far as the kinesthetic or anything else like that. I just want my body to be able to perform as best as it can. And so I kind of, you know, mold my training to what those different sports require.
And in my life goals, right now it's surviving. I am trying to just be consistent in all aspects of my life, you know, spiritually as well as physically making sure I get that work out in, making sure I spend that quality time with my kids, making sure I, you know, spend quality time with my husband, and just kind of trying to stay well rounded. Yeah, I'm not sure that falls short of what you're looking for. I don't necessarily have those big, life-altering goals at this moment with the phase of life that I'm in. But I am always just trying to be just a little bit better.
Amber B 50:30
Yeah, so good, so good. Well, it's been fun. It's been a fun conversation to be able to give some a little bit of insight into what it's like to be an All-American what it's like to get to that top level of anything. And then that transition into motherhood. And then maybe a little bit of an insight for people outside of biceps after babies and me is how I got all the goods as a goober, as you say. All of those things are true. So thanks so much for coming on the podcast, Kara. I'm glad that I actually made a podcast, just like I said, I would and I actually got to interview you on it. So thanks so much.
Yeah, that was fun. had a good time talking to you.
Amber B 51:16
So I hope that that was fun for you to learn a little bit about my sister, Isn't she a rock star? She's just so fabulous. I have lots of fabulous sisters and brothers. And I'm excited to, you know, be able to share one of them with you here on the podcast. So hopefully it was fun to hear her perspective of our childhood, her perspective of me, and most of all her perspective, the lessons that she learned as she made a transition from one identity to a next to you know, a new identity and she had some really awesome takeaways that I hope that you picked up during the episode. That wraps up this episode of biceps after babies radio. I'm Amber now go out and be strong because remember my friend, you can do anything.
Hold up, sister friend. Do you love Biceps after Babies radio? If so, the best way to say thank you is to subscribe to the podcast and leave a review on iTunes. I know, every podcaster wants you to leave a review, but it's because those reviews help the podcast to reach more people. And I do truly want to know what you think. If this particular episode resonated with you, will you also please share it? Either send the link to someone who would find it valuable or take a screenshot and post it to your social media and tell your friends and family why they should listen. Make sure you tag me @biceps.after.babies so I can hear your feedback and give you a little love. And you know, if you aren't already following me on Instagram or Facebook, that's the perfect time to hit that follow button. Thank you for being here and listening to Biceps after Babies radio.