I am so excited about the conversation we're going to have today. It's a highly requested topic because a lot of you are learning things and you're understanding nutritional principles. Many would ask how to handle this information that they're learning and digesting and incorporate it into their lives, and yet make it so it is a productive thing that doesn't harm their children long term, right? We all want to help our kids to have an amazing relationship with themselves, with their bodies, and with their food, just like we want that for ourselves. But I think even sometimes we even want that more for our kids’ and we want to be that good example to them of what's possible.
- Children learn from what was modeled by their parents (4:55, 6:29)
- Macro counting (7:31, 9:41)
- Reflect on your relationship with macros, with food, and with tracking(13:41)
- Teach your children about nutrition at their level(15:43)
- Have a talk about weighing food and let them understand why is it for (21:50)
- Tracking as a tool for consuming enough and not as a restriction (22:38, 23:47)
- Break the link between healthy behaviors and weight (25:12, 28:34, 31:19)
- Trust your ability to do a really good job in raising your kids (34:57)
Hooh! That got a little bit more intense than I had expected when I hit record. But I think these are things that have been on my heart and on my mind, and I think they're things that maybe some of you who are listening to need to hear. And hopefully, it can help you in raising your kids. Not an expert. Never said I was. But my hope is that this offers you some perspectives that you can use to help you as you navigate these waters have been a parent.
You're listening to Biceps after Babies radio episode number 125.
Hello and welcome to Biceps after Babies radio. A podcast for ladies who know that fitness is about so much more than pounds lost or PRs. It's about feeling confident in your skin and empowered in your life. I'm your host, Amber Brueseke, a registered nurse, personal trainer, wife, and mom of four. Each week, my guests and I will excite and motivate you to take action in your own personal fitness as we talk about nutrition, exercise mindset, personal development, and executing life with conscious intention. If your goal is to look, feel, and be strong and experience transformation from the inside out, you, my friend are in the right place. Thank you for tuning in, now let’s jump into today’s episode.
How to teach your kids about macros 0:47
Hey, Hey, hey, welcome back to another episode of biceps after babies radio. I'm your host, Amber Brueseke. And I am so excited that you're here for the conversation we're about to have today. The topic that we're going to cover today how to teach your kids about macros, is one that I get asked questions about all the time. It's a very highly requested topic, and I get it because a lot of you are learning things and you're understanding nutritional principles. And maybe you're in your 30s or 40s or 60s and you're like, where was this all my life? How come I didn't learn this in school? And then you get past that you're like, I want to teach people about this and then starts to come to the questions of how do I model this well for my kids? How do I make sure that this doesn't become something where they feel restrictive, or when they start to see food in a different way? I don't want it to impact my children's relationship with their food or with their bodies. And so there becomes a question in a lot of women's minds of how to handle this information that they're learning and digesting and incorporate it into their lives, and yet make it so it is a productive thing that doesn't harm their children long term, right? We all want to help our kids to have an amazing relationship with themselves, with their bodies, and with their food, just like we want that for ourselves. But I think even sometimes we even want that more for our kids. And we want to be that good example to them of what's possible.
Christmas presents from Max 2:20
And so to start off this episode, I want to share a story that happened over Christmas. So my kids are really cute. And they love to make Christmas presents for me and their dad and my husband and their grandparents. And my third child, Max, who I actually recorded a whole podcast episode on the day that Max nearly drowned. That's episode number 43, if you haven't heard my story of how I performed CPR on my son, get a tissue out to listen to the episode because it's an emotional story for me. But my son Max, who was the one who almost drowned who is now doing just great and is almost nine years old. He drew pictures for everybody for Christmas and got really excited drawing pictures that related to each individual person. So it was actually really cute. My parents, the two pictures that he drew for my parents, drew a picture of lemons for my mom because my mom always drinks lemon water like every single morning. So whenever she comes to her house, she buys a big thing of lemons. And then she drinks her lemon water every morning. So Max drew a picture of lemons for her which I thought just encapsulated my mother so well. And then he actually drew crutches for my dad because my dad has been in a walking boot and has had issues with his Achilles tendons and he has had lots of surgery. And anyway he's like, often on crutches. And so Max drew a picture of crutches for my dad, so I thought it was just so cute. Like it's just the perspective of a nine-year-old, right? Like how does the nine-year-old view you? Well, for his grandma, it's lemons, and for his grandpa, it's crutches. And he drew a picture for all of us, myself included, and when I opened up the picture on Christmas morning, it was a picture of me. I can't tell if I'm on a bench or doing an overhead press but regardless It is me lifting some sort of heavy barbell. And Max even labeled the weight of the bar. He said it was 40 pounds, it's close Max is usually 45 that's fine. 40 pounds and then he showed that I was lifting 100 pounds on each side. So the weight was 100 pounds. So the total weight of it was 240 pounds. So I'm not sure if I'm benching 240 pounds, or overhead pressing 240 pounds, but either way, the way that max depicted me was lifting weights and lifting very heavy weights like being very strong, right.
Children learn from their parents based on the lives they live 4:55
And it was such a reminder to me of the experience my children are having growing up and just watching my husband and me. So many of the things that we start to believe at a young age, start to integrate into who we are at a very young age come from our parents and our environment. And I'm sure many of you have had that experience where a lot of the things that you believe later in your life, were created very early on with your experience with your parents, right? For so many years, our parents are like the people that we look up to, and the people who do have all the answers. And we start to model what our parents show us, for better or for worse, right. I'm sure we've all picked up great traits from our parents and we've probably picked up some not so great traits from our parents, and was just such a good reminder to me that regardless of what I say to my children, regardless of what I like, verbally teach them, they are learning from me each and every day based off of the life that I'm living. I don't talk to my kids a ton about lifting. It's not like we sit at the table and talk a ton about lifting. Now we will talk about hitting PRs, and my husband and I will share that with our kids, absolutely. But it's not like I sit down with my kids and say, Hey, this is why lifting is important. Let me list all the reasons that you'll want to lift. And I don't do that, what I do is be an example of someone who goes to the gym frequently, and who lifts and my kids see that. And they see that embodied in the things that I do.
How parents want to be the best model for their kids 6:29
And so, as we dive into this topic, I want you to remember that our kids are watching us even more so than the things that we're telling them, our kids are watching us, and that they are learning from the things that we're doing. And I think this is where women really get into their heads where they're like when my kids see me weighing my food when my kids see me logging my food, is that going to like they're gonna see this modeled for them? And is that a healthy thing for me to model? Is that a healthy thing for my kids to see me doing? And I think it's, this is a great question. Because it's, first of all, it's coming from a very good place like you want to be the absolute best model for your children as possible. You want to be the best model of somebody who takes care of themselves, who is healthy, who lives a happy, healthy life, and has a good relationship with themselves and with food. You want to model that for them. And so then the question becomes how do I best model that? How do I be the best model of that for my children?
Macro counting as a tool 7:31
And so as we dive into this conversation, and as we start sharing, and I will share my perspectives and what's worked for me, we have to start by talking about the very unique perspective that I hold when it comes to macro counting, and how it vastly differs from so many other coaches out there. Because in my experience, many of the people who teach macro counting or coach through macro counting, end up just turning it into another diet, they end up turning it into something that just like any other diet has rules, has restrictions has a certain way that you're supposed to follow it right, you have to eat high protein. And if you don't hit your high protein, well, then you just need more protein sources, like let's just try harder to hit that higher protein. Because this is the way that it is, this is the way that you have to do it if you want to see results. And a lot of coaches approach macro counting from that perspective. Now, just because people choose to hold that perspective with macros, does not mean that is what macro counting is. Macro counting is a tool. How you wield that tool is very important. Okay, so you could think of, let's use an example of influence like we can say, okay, influencing people is a tool. Martin Luther King used his influence to fight for the freedoms of people of color. That's what he used that tool to do. Hitler used influence to murder millions of Jews. So it's the same tool, but there are vastly different outcomes. You can also think about a hammer, right? A hammer is, by itself, it's simply a tool. And that same hammer can be used to build a building, and it can be used to tear down a wall. So the tool in and of itself isn't good or bad. A hammer isn't good or bad. It's not you know, it's not like oh, hammers were bad because people can break down buildings with them. Or a hammer is good because you can build buildings. No, a hammer is just a hammer and how you wield the hammer matters, it matters.
More about macro counting 9:41
And so, when we come to the idea of macro counting when you start to realize that macro counting is really simply in the very simplest of terms, it is being aware of the amount of macros that you consume on a daily basis. Just being aware of the amount of carbs, fat, and protein that you consume on a daily basis and having the ability to manipulate them to support a goal. Okay? So you eat macronutrients, you eat carbs, fat, and protein every single day, whether or not you're aware of it. People who don't count macros eat macros every single day, they just aren't aware of it, okay.
Macro dieter 7:31
So macro counting absolutely can be just you fitting yourself into another diet, I talk a lot about especially in Macros 101 about being the macro dieter, it's a big problem that I see with a lot of women who come into the program is that they've had experience with macros in the past. But they've simply turned macro counting into another diet, just like all the other ones. Where if they don't hit their macros, they feel guilt, they feel shame, they stopped tracking because they've done it wrong. And if that's resonating for you, that's an example of how we can turn macro counting into just another diet.
Being aware of your macros and tweak them to hit your goals 10:55
But here's the key. Just because it can be turned into a diet doesn't mean that is the only way to wield the tool. And so the way that I coach in the way that I teach macro counting, it's all about awareness. Right? You cannot change what you are not aware of. And so once we're aware of what you're consuming, once we're aware of the data, then it's about making the least amount of change possible to get you on the trajectory to hit your goals. So how little can we tweak to be able to get you on the road to where you want to go? This is not how much can I tweak, what else can I tweak? It's how I can take my acknowledgment of what I'm currently doing, and tweak as little of it as possible to get me on the road to where I want to go. That's how I choose to teach macro counting. We talk about becoming, in Macros 101 we talk about becoming a macro scientist about putting that scientist hat on rather than viewing this as a diet, rather than viewing this as somebody else tells me to do it so I have to follow these macros. Rather than feeling like this is the only way to count macros and have it be effective, we start to ask ourselves the question, How can I use this tool more effectively in my journey? What is that going to look like for me, because what it's going to look like for you is very different from what it's going to look like for someone, the same tool, different application of the tool? And I think it's so important that we start to acknowledge that one size fits all does not fit anybody well. And that includes macro counting. So if you think that you can just have someone give you your numbers and just follow them and that's the road to success? You have to understand that that doesn't actually get you to where you want to go. It just fits you into another diet. And we all know that diets don't work long term.
Set your mindset 12:39
So before you can teach your children, you have to embody this yourself. It does not matter what you say to them if your actions are differing. Right, just like I don't sit there and talk to my son about weightlifting. And here's why it's important. And here are the benefits. And I don't sit there and talk to him. He sees my actions and he learns from them. This is why getting your mindsets, right first. Like it has to be the first step, getting you to really embody this and step into a place where you aren't just using macro counting as another diet, where you aren't feeling the guilt and shame associated with not hitting your numbers. You have to get your mindset right first, then this is a lot of the work that we do inside of Macros 101 is helping you to redefine your relationship with food. Redefine your relationship with macro counting and figuring out how you are going to pick up this tool and use it in your journey in your unique journey.
No. 1 Reflect on your relationship with macros, with food, and with tracking 13:41
So I'm going to give you four steps. I don't know “steps”, we can call them pieces of advice tips to be able to help you with teaching your children about macros. And number one is you need to start with reflecting on your relationship with macros, your relationship with food, and your relationship with tracking. Now a couple of weeks ago back in Episode 123, I recorded a podcast episode about my relationship with food. And one of the hopes of me recording that episode was for it to get you to start to think about your relationship with food. And I was very serious in that episode. I said it multiple times in the episode that my relationship with food is not the right way to have a relationship with food. It is a way and it has been effective for me. And so when you start to ask yourself the question, is my current relationship with food effective for the goals that I want to reach for who I want to be? And then you can answer that question. If it is effective, there's no need to change anything. If it isn't effective, then how could you make it effective? What would have to happen for you to move to a more effective relationship? So asking yourself the question like what is my current relationship with macro counting? What is my current relationship with food? What is my current relationship with my body? What is my current relationship with tracking? Do you view it as restrictive? Do you view it as taking away your choice? Like your numbers are telling you what to do, and they're taking away your ability to choose. Do you stop tracking? When you go over because you have some like guilt and shame that you did it wrong. If so, this is where you have to start, we have to start with you, we have to start with the perspective that you were holding of this tool. Because we can't pass these things, we want to pass them on to our children until you get yourself in a position where you have a healthy relationship with tracking.
This process takes time and coaching 15:43
Now, this is not an overnight thing. I talk a lot in Macros 101 about peeling away the onion. And we are of the generation, the time on Earth where we like quick fixes. We want it fixed yesterday, we want the secret we want the like, easy. Tell me the one thing Amber I need to do to like, fix everything. And what I want you to understand is this process of building a healthier relationship with yourself, building a healthier relationship with food takes time. And oftentimes, it takes coaching, because we are all walking around with blind spots. And so some of the things that are holding you back are literally in your blind spot and you cannot see them, and oftentimes takes a coach helping to uncover those with you. Because the inherent thing about blind spots is that they are blind, you cannot see them yourself. And so sometimes some of these things are at levels that we need help uncovering so that we can work through them. So reflect on your relationship with macro counting on your relationship with food on your relationship with tracking.
No. 2 Teach your children about nutrition at their level 15:43
And then number two is to start to teach your children about nutrition at their level. So when our kids were really little, we shared a lot about sometimes foods and always foods. So something like an apple isn't always food, right? That's something that you can eat a ton of. You can always eat it. Whereas something like maybe an Oreo is a sometimes food it's not a never food. But it's a sometimes food, it's food that we enjoy, and we partake of, and we don't cut out we don't exclude and get it's not what we want to fill our entire plate or entire dinner plate with. Okay, so when my kids were really young, we used that a lot where it's like, that's a sometimes food that's an always food. So right now let's pick an always food. And then after you eat, you're always food, let's have a sometimes food, okay. So you can use that for your kids if that's the kind of level that they're at. Again, this always has to be tailored to where your children are at on how old they are. And of course, you are going to know your kids the best.
Teach them what each of the macronutrients does 17:51
The next thing that you can start to teach them is what each of the macronutrients does. So my kids, if you ask them, What are macros? They know what they know about their carbs and fat and protein. And they know what they each do, because each of those macronutrients plays a very unique different role in your body. So you can start to teach your children about the role of each macronutrient. Carbs are your body's default source for energy, we need to have carbohydrates because it is the source for energy for our bodies, we need to have fats because they help produce our hormones, they help us to be able to generate hormones, we need protein because it helps to heal and regenerate a lot of the tissues in our body. It helps us to be able to build and strengthen muscle, which allows us to be able to, you know, do all the things that we want to do that require strength from our body. And so you can start to talk to your kids about showing the three different things that their body needs, and why their body needs each of them. I think it's really valuable. You know, kids, even at a very young age can start to understand, oh, this is a carbohydrate. And this helps my body have energy. This is protein, this helps me to get strong and to have muscle, right kids that are even a very young age can understand that.
Teach them how we need to have all of the macros 19:08
And then the next thing that you can teach your kids is how we need to have some of all of the macros. So I do this with my kids a lot, especially my current seven-year-old, where he will go through the day and literally eat. Like if I just let him eat whatever he wanted, it would just be carbs all day long. We just are carbs, carbs, carbs, carbs, carbs, like that would be what he would eat all day long. And so we have conversations with him of okay, hey, you've eaten you know a lot of things that have carbs in them today. What can we find that has some fat in it? Or what can we find that has some protein in it so that we are able to make sure that we're having a variety of the foods you know that you need a little bit of each in your body. So how can we find something that has some protein in it because you've had a lot of carbs today? Not too many carbs, not like you should stop eating carbs or anything like that, but just like how can we add these other macronutrients into your food?
Parroting what you are doing 20:00
And then another great idea is to be parroting what you're doing, like, I'm done, I'm not going to eat any more of that, because if I eat anymore, I'm going to get a stomachache, right. So parroting, some of the thought process that's going into it. Hey, I've had so many carbs today, I've definitely eaten plenty of carbs for fueling my body today but what I haven't had a lot of is protein. So I'm going to go and grab a protein shake, right? So you're modeling that you're parroting it for your kids to be able to see your thought process as you're going through the day of selecting your foods, let them hear how you're making decisions about food, right? So we're not making a decision of, Oh, I can't eat that cookie, because I'm on a diet, right? That would be something that we probably wouldn't want to parrot to our kids because that builds this unhealthy relationship with food. So it's not, hey, I can't have that cookie. It's like, Hey, mom doesn't really want that cookie right now, because I feel a lot better when I eat a salad first. So I'm going to eat a salad first, and then I'm going to see if I'm still full. And if I'm not full, then maybe I'll have a little bit of a cookie. Right? So you're starting to parrot some of those behaviors of how you're making choices with food.
Come and get some coaching in Macros 101 21:10
Now, of course, this goes back to the first thing that I said is that you have to get yourself in this place first. If you are coming from the perspective of feeling restricted, you are coming from the perspective of the diet that says I have to do it, and I don't want to do it. But the diet says I have to do it and so I have to do it, then you're not going to be able to model these behaviors for your children. And if that's you, if you're feeling like, I'm not really at the place where I'm able to model this Amber, I'm still trying to figure this out myself, that's okay. And get someone to help you with it. Right? Come join Macros 101. Come get coaching, so that you can get help with it so that you can model these behaviors for your kids.
No. 3 Have a talk about weighing food and let them understand what’s going on 21:50
Okay, so number three. And this is a question a lot is what about weighing your food? Right? Is that helping children to develop an unhealthy relationship with food if they see me weighing my food? So the first thing I think is important, especially when we're talking about children is calling things out. Right? Like, just like racism, just like talking about sex, if we don't talk about it, it's not like it goes away, or your kids don't wonder about it. Right? So we need to be talking about it. If you're going to be weighing your food, bring that up and have that conversation with your kids. Because if you just start doing it, and you don't talk about it, it's not like they're not going to notice. And so we need to be able to have a conversation with your kids so that they understand what's going on.
Tracking as a tool of restriction vs. tracking as a tool for consuming enough 22:38
Now, in our society, we have a default idea around tracking and around weighing food, that it is a tool for restriction, okay. That weighing my food means I'm trying to eat less, I'm trying to restrict, right. And so it's easy to see how if that's your view of tracking and weighing your food if it is a tool for restriction, is a tool for telling yourself no, it's a tool for consuming loss, it's easy to see why you would feel like I don't really want my kids seeing that, I don't want my kids modeling that. And so what I would offer for you is that what if tracking and weighing your food isn't about consuming less, but it's about consuming enough. It's about making sure that you are consuming enough of each of the macronutrients to be able to fuel your body. That's always our goal, we want to make sure that you're eating enough of each of the macros to fuel your body. And if you're trying to lose weight, create a caloric deficit at the same time.
Perspective on tracking and weighing helps you feel your body better 23:47
And so when we start to view tracking and weigh my food, this is about mom making sure that I get enough protein I've realized lately, honey, I don't get nearly enough protein to be able to support the work that I do in the gym. And so I'm weighing my food right now to make sure that mom gets enough protein in her diet. Okay, I'm learning to fuel my body with the right nutrition to be able to feel my best. A scale and tracking don't have to be about restriction. And when we can start to shift the narrative from viewing it as such as just a tool for restriction and rather as a tool for helping me to feel my best, helping me to feel my body, helping me to make sure I get enough carbohydrates, enough calories, enough protein, enough fat, to be able to do the things that I want to do in my day. And when you come from that perspective, and you share that with your kids, because you have a conversation about it, you say hey, you're gonna see mom start to weigh my food. And here's what I really want you to know. Mom is trying to feel my best. I'm trying to get really strong at the gym. And so mom needs to make sure that she's having enough protein. So you're gonna see me weighing my food and what I'm doing is making sure that I have enough protein to support the things that I'm doing. Right, so coming from that perspective of tracking and weighing helps me to feel my body better. Not that it helps me to restrict or helps me to eat less, or it helps me to, you know, do any of those types of things.
No. 4 How to help your child who may be in a bigger body 25:12
Now, number four, I want to speak specifically to parents who are listening, who has a child who struggles with food, and maybe struggles with weight, and is at the place where they're overweight, or they're trending in that direction.
Now, I have to be careful, because, first of all, I don't live this experience. It's not something that I currently have to deal with. And I think it's always important to speak from what you know, and what you experience. And this is not something that I intimately know. Okay, so it's kind of like a non-parent giving parenting advice. And I completely recognize that. And if that doesn't fly with you, that's 100% okay. I'm also not an expert on this, I would not call myself an expert on obesity and children. That's not something that I'm an expert on okay. So, I'm going to speak about this, because I have lots of people ask me questions about it. So even though I wouldn't consider myself an expert, even though I don't have this experience, I have some thoughts that I would, I'm happy to share with people who would like to receive those thoughts. Now, I will say, I don't currently struggle with this, this is not something that I have to currently deal with. And that is not because I am a superior parent. That is not because I am healthier than you, it is not because my kids are healthier than your kids. That's just the way it is. That's just the way the cookie has crumbled and it's not the experience that I have. The more I parent, the more I realize that a lot of the things that we deal with with our kids are things that just come with them. It's not because we did anything wrong, it's not because we're bad parents, it's just the way that they come to us. And this is not something that I've had to deal with, not because I'm a great parent, just because it's just not something I've had to deal with.
Weight stigma 13:41
So for those of you who are listening, who that is something you're dealing with, and that is something you worry about, I want you to know that that worry comes from a very good place. It comes from a place one of recognizing that this world is harder for people in a bigger body. And I wish that wasn't the case, I don't think it should be the case, I think we should do everything that we can to start breaking down weight bias, and yet at the same time, that is a current reality that we are dealing with. Life is harder in a bigger body. It shouldn't be, I don't want it to be, you don't want it to be but we recognize that at this moment in time that is something that we have to take into consideration with our society. And yes, we should be working to change that. We should be working to accept people in the bodies that they're at, we should be working to help people be healthy at whatever size they're at. There's a lot of things with the Health at Every Size movement that I am 100% in agreement with. And reducing weight bias, weight stigma is a huge part of that. So part of you probably is worried because you know that there is a bias, you know that there is a stigma associated with it. And that scares you, and it breaks your heart for your kids because you don't want them to have to experience that, especially if maybe you've experienced that in the past, you want to protect your kids from that.
Separating healthy behaviors from weight 28:34
And because of that, I think it's really important for parents to start separating healthy behaviors from the weight. When we are able to do this and recognize that healthy behaviors promote health, whether or not they promote weight loss, we can start focusing on the behaviors and not so much on the weight. Right, if there is a child who is in a bigger body, and she is not exercising, and you know you focus and help with her to exercise because exercise in and of itself is a health-promoting behavior, whether or not it produces weight loss. You are more healthy if you exercise even if you don't lose a single pound. And so the problem that happens when we connect these two things when we connect healthy behaviors with weight loss, then if and when those healthy behaviors do not promote weight loss. We stopped doing the healthy behaviors and that's just silly. Because healthy behaviors promote health whether or not they cause weight loss. And so when you can start to detach those things, you can start to focus on the behaviors and not worry so much about the weight. Right, how can I help my kid develop a love for exercise with what they like to do with their body with what's enjoyable to them, not forcing them into it, not telling them they have to go for a run because they're a fat slob. But because figuring out how to move their body in a way that they enjoy is something that they're going to use for the rest of their life. How can we make sure that our kids are getting offered more vegetables? You cannot force a child to eat vegetables. Our job as parents is to offer those things to make them available to make them easily accessible. Because even if eating vegetables doesn't help you to lose weight, it is a healthy behavior in and of itself, and your child is going to be more healthy if they do that than if not. So separating behaviors from weight is one of the biggest things I think we can do as a society and for our children. And this is a big part of the Health at Every Size movement of this idea that we have confabulated, these two things that really is damaging for a lot of people. Because if we think the only reason to exercise is to lose weight, then if and when we don't lose weight, we stop exercising, and exercising in and of itself is something that is going to promote health for us, okay.
Break the link between healthy behaviors and weight 31:19
Now, this is not just for kids. This is for you too. Are you currently linking healthy behaviors to weight? Where if you start a healthy behavior, and it doesn't produce weight loss, you stop it? Or you get frustrated and you're like, well, okay, if it's not going to produce weight loss, I'm not going to eat vegetables. You know, going for a run isn't producing weight loss, I'm gonna stop running. Are you doing that? Now? It's okay. If you are, it is okay. They're like, we don't have to feel guilt and shame about this. But you can start to ask yourself the question: is that effective for you? Is it effective for you to stop healthy behaviors, even if they don't produce weight loss? If your goal is really health, health is found in behaviors, health is found in the things that we do, the actions that we take. And when we can break that link and we can say, I exercise because it's healthy for my body, whether or not I lose a pound, I will have a healthier body if I exercise, that's a powerful place to be.
Shame and guilt aren’t tools for success 32:29
You know that shame and guilt don't work, they don't work in your journey. They don't work in your kids' journey. And so as much as we want to protect our kids, and as much as we want to motivate them in any way possible, sometimes we as parents go to the place of using the tool of guilt and shame. Because we feel like it's going to be motivating. We feel like it's going to be something that's going to light a fire under our kids' butts, to get them to do the things that we know were good for them, right. And I want you to recognize that shame and guilt are never going to be a long-term transformer. We use them sometimes especially on ourselves because in the short term shame and guilt can sometimes promote a change in behavior, sometimes. But if it does, it is only in the short term and it's never a long-term promoter of change. And so as hard as it is, and as much as you love your children, and you want to set them up for success, recognize that shame and guilt aren't going to be the tools for success, they aren't going to be the tools to get you there. Acceptance, love modeling behaviors, not making your love dependent on anything about them or what they do or who they are but making your love of rock-solid stable things in their life. That is the best thing that you can do for them. That's what they need.
So just to recap, those four tips that I gave, number one, reflect on your relationship with food with macros with tracking, take an inventory of theirs and see what you can do to improve on in that area. Two, teach your children about nutrition at their level. You know, older kids can understand more, younger kids are going to need it. You know a little bit more basic, but figure out how to teach your children about nutrition at their level. Number three, we talked about how to talk with your kids about weighing food and coming from the perspective that it's about consuming enough for your body. And then number four, we talked about how to help your child who may be overweight or in a bigger body and how when we separate healthy behaviors from the weight, both for our children and for us. That is a powerful place to come from in our journey because it helps us to focus on the behaviors, on the things that are health-promoting, regardless of whether or not we see weight loss from them.
Trust your ability to do a really good job in raising your kids 34:57
Okay, so we talked about some really important stuff and I hope that this helps to answer the question that you probably were coming with. If you listen to this episode of How do I teach my kids about this? How do I approach it with my kids? How do we teach my kids about macros in a way that is healthy and uplifting and beneficial for them in their role, our relationship with food and their relationship with their bodies and with their relationship with health. Now, this isn't the right way to do it. I think it's silly to say that, like I have all the answers for you, and for your children. And so what I'm going to really encourage you to do is start to trust yourself. And trust your ability to do a really good job in raising your kids. You're on your own journey, your kids are on your own journey. And as much as we want to do things for them and protect them and shield them from the things that are going to happen in life. We all need to walk our own journey. And your job as a parent is to be there to catch them when they fall, to love them through everything and to be that rock of support regardless of whatever else is going on in their life.
Hooh! That got a little bit more intense than I had expected when I hit record. But I think these are things that have been on my heart and on my mind, and I think they're things that maybe some of you who are listening need to hear. And hopefully it can help you in raising your kids. Not an expert. Never said I was. But my hope is that this offers you some perspectives that you can use to help you as you navigate these waters have been a parent.
Share the content 36:36
If this episode has touched you in any way or has made you think or has given you an aha moment, I would love it if you would take a screenshot of this and send it to a friend or forward it to somebody who you think might benefit from hearing this episode. Let's get it out to the people who need it. There are moms and dads out there that could really use this information. And if there's someone who's on your heart right now or in your thoughts right now, take a screenshot, send it to them and let them be able to consume the content as well. I also love it when you guys share on Instagram or tag me on Facebook that you're listening to the podcast and share with me what your takeaways were like. What was your aha moment from this episode? Tag me whenever you do that. I love, love to see what you're learning and to share it with people because I think the more that we start to learn, take action, we get new results and that changes everything. So that wraps up this episode of biceps after babies radio. I'm Amber now go out and be strong because remember my friend, you can do anything.
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